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A/N - I hate having to do this, but since NovelHD has already started to pirate some of my books, here we go. These works are mine. My poor little brain came up with the plots and characters, and I'd really prefer you to not steal them. If you're reading this on a site that is NOT Wattpad then it is most certainly stolen.

Thanks!

Loiosh

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"Name?" the doctor in light blue scrubs asked me. He was freshly shaved and had a pair of wire rimmed glasses that I hoped would help him see perfectly during the procedure.

"Cole," I quickly answered.

"Last name?" he prompted while checking the clipboard in his hands. 

There was an attractive woman in purple scrubs standing behind him and to the right, grinning as though she'd seen this same conversation hundreds of times. She probably had; it was her job after all. I couldn't help but notice that she had a gorgeous tan that offset her hazel eyes, though most of us living in Miami had that same tan so that wasn't exactly a surprise. The whisps of some soft brown hair peeked out from under her surgical cap and made her look a lot livelier than the doctor. Did the different colored scrubs mean something? Or was it a personal preference? I had no idea.

"Butler. Cole Butler." I'd chosen the first surgical procedure time on the Monday after New Year's Eve, so I was hoping this would be a quick in and out and go home deal.

"And do you know why you're here Mr. Butler?"

What the fuck kind of question was that? I would hope you would know that! Are you double checking my internet order or something? "Yeah, I'm here for a vasectomy."

"Very good. And do you know what that surgery means?" His monotone voice was really getting to me now. I felt like I was in line at one of those car wash places, and they were making me order off the menu to see if I wanted the undercarriage wash. Well, I washed my own undercarriage, thank you very much, because I thought that would be the right thing to do before I showed it to a bunch of doctors.

"Yeah, it means I'll only be worth half a fuck now," I replied drily.

"Excuse me?" he lowered the clipboard, his eyes wide. Holy shit, he was human! The nurse behind him had her hand over her mouth to cover her laugh, but her eyes were twinkling, so I guess the joke worked.

"Sorry. It means no more kids. I'll be shooting blanks," I corrected myself.

"All right. Much better." He made another check on the clipboard. "Hayden, be a dear and take Mr. Butler to OR 3 and prep him."

"Of course, Dr. Lane," the nurse in purple replied, and then moved behind me to push the rolling bed through the outpatient facility towards the far end of the hall. I assumed that was where the operating room was, but I really had no idea. Once we were out of earshot, she spoke up again "I hope you liked answering those questions. You have to answer that three times before the surgery, and that was just the first."

"Of course. Is that the standard procedure around here?" I wondered.

"Yep. Everyone has to make sure there are no lawsuits for performing the wrong operation or something. Asking three questions about it seems to be the magic number for juries if there is a complaint."

"Awesome. What other morons need to ask me that?"

"Well, the anesthesiologist will ask next. And then yours truly will ask last," she said with a cocked eyebrow.

"Shit," I muttered. "Sorry! I didn't mean moron."

"Don't sweat it. I was kidding. I was there the first time it was asked so it wouldn't count. The facility lawyer is always last. I was just wanting to give you a little grief." She smirked when she realized that she'd got me good, and I could only groan in reply.

"No worries. I was due for that after the half a fuck comment."

"Oh no, that was a good one. I'll be saving that for the next vasectomy patient." She shot me a wink and a smile. If I wasn't married, I might actually try to follow up on that.

At that point, another man, this one in pink scrubs and much younger than the original doctor, arrived. And yes, I had to go through the whole who and I and what am I doing here song and dance once more. "So, Dr. Lane said that in your preliminary examination, that he was unable to feel the vas, which is the tube that we'll be removing a part of as a part of this surgery," the anesthesiologist stated. "In such cases, we usually opt for general anesthesia instead of a local. Was that explained to you?"

"Yes, I was told that," I replied with a nod. I wasn't thrilled about it, I hadn't been under anesthesia since my appendix burst in high school, and I seemed to remember that being a shit show of a surgery.

"And did you prepare for the surgery?" he followed up.

"Well, I haven't eaten in over 12 hours, and I scrubbed it nice and clean," I replied, trying to ignore the giggling Hayden.

"And did you shave the area within the last 48 hours?"

"Shave? Not entirely no, was I supposed to?" That wasn't mentioned in the previous doctor's visit, I was pretty clear on what I needed to do! Planning was my job!

"That isn't a problem. Hayden here will take care of that once you're under." Did every doctor here have the same monotone voice?

"Oh, ok. Thanks." Awesome. Nice to know the cute nurse with the winks and smiles would be checking out and shaving my package while I was out of it. Not embarrassing at all. Thanks universe! I mean, I'm married, which is what this surgery was supposed to help with, so I shouldn't really be noticing, but still!

I just dropped my head on the pillow and sighed once he left. "Don't worry Cole. I've seen so many of those over the last couple of years that you don't have to be embarrassed," Hayden said sympathetically before leaning down to whisper. "Besides, it doesn't matter to me, you're playing with the wrong equipment for my taste anyway. I'd rather fight with you over the hot ladies."

I could only laugh at that. "Then I apologize that you're stuck doing that! I can't imagine it's a highlight of your day."

"It's part of the job. So don't worry about it. We'll take care of you and then get you on your way. Do you have a ride home? You know you're not allowed to dive after general anesthesia, right?"

"Yeah, I have the Uber app. It's a surprise for my wife so no other ride is available." I wasn't too sure if my wife even remembered I was going to be home early today. She wasn't good at stuff like schedule changes without constant reminders, so I had already been planning on using Uber as the ride from the beginning.

"Perfect. Then as much as you're a nice person to talk to, I hope I don't have to see you in here again any time soon!" She flashed a pretty smile, and I felt better already.

"Likewise!" I retorted with a smile of my own.

A few minutes later, a man in a shirt and tie popped into the room. "Excuse me sir, can I get your name?"

"Cole Butler." I was a pro at remembering my name by this time!

"And why are you here this morning?"

"Brain transplant." Okay, that was a stupid joke. I should have used that on the anesthesiologist.

"Sir, please."

"Sorry. Vasectomy. That means no more kids. I'm ready when you are." I waved my hands apologetically, but by this time I was ready to get it over with.

Within a few minutes, they were placing a mask over my mouth and an IV in my hand and I was getting ready for dreamland. I saw one final smile and half wave from Hayden, and I was out.

Getting a vasectomy wasn't something I'd wanted to do. My wife Kate and I had our son Connor just over three years ago, but now she didn't want any more kids. I did, but it wasn't like I could force her to. That needed to be a joint decision. Evidently though, she also didn't want to raise kids. After Connor was born, she had a short maternity leave from the pediatrician's office that she owned, and then started having the office open in the evenings for parents that worked.

On the surface, it was a great idea. There are tons of working parents out there who don't have the time to get their kids to the doctor's office during the work week, so she has a substantial number of patients now. The problem was, now I would come home from work, and she'd be gone till at least 10pm when her office closed. Then she would sleep during the day while I was at work, so Connor was being raised during the day by the nanny, Sierra, that her very wealthy parents had provided us for a wedding present. That wasn't ideal at all. But her parents would never agree for him to be in daycare with other kids, that was for regular families, not those as rich as they were! I wasn't a fan, though Sierra was a nice nanny for Connor, and he really did like her a lot. I'd been shocked at the choice in nannies, as Sierra was a stunning young college girl, and I would have thought they wouldn't have wanted me tempted. I mean, I noticed, but I'm loyal, and never even thought about it.

With the time difference in our schedules, and her always being tired or meeting her friends for lunches and dinners on weekends, we never had any time together. Hell, Connor almost never saw his mom for that matter. Luckily, I got to see him a lot, as I was able to work from home occasionally, and we have every evening and weekend together.

But the relationship between us and Kate was rocky at best. We had made love exactly once in the three years since Connor was born, and there was always something wrong. She didn't want to use birth control, but she didn't want more kids. I already knew that having Connor had pretty much been something she agreed to do purely for the sake of our moms, who had been childhood best friends and desperately wanted us to marry and have kids.

But even without having more kids, there was always something. I had been relegated to one of the guest bedrooms, I took the one next to Connor, since I was too big and too much of the master bedroom bed according to her. I offered to get a custom made bed that was bigger, and then suddenly I was told I snored and with the schedule difference between our sleep schedules that I'd wake her up when I was getting up to work. It didn't matter what I said, there was always an excuse as to why we couldn't spend time together.

So why was I getting a vasectomy just to be able to make love to a wife that had done everything in her power for three years to push me away? That was an excellent question, and one which I had no satisfactory answer for. But with the vasectomy, there would be no more impediments to at least trying to resume our sex life. Would that fix the rest of the marriage? No. But I could only do one issue at a time. We had already talked about her schedule and maybe this time she would see if she could hire an extra doctor for the night shift so she could go back to the day shift. So far, she didn't want to do that, so as to keep her loyal patients.

If her schedule changed, and we if spent more time together, and if we had a sex life, then maybe I could get back into the master bedroom. Who knows what could happen after that?

But that is an awful lot of ifs.