Not proofread
!!Warnings!!: Heavy angst, cheating, might cause dissociation (just being careful!), death, grief.
so I tried this thing where the bold indicates past events and memories so you won't get lost in the story :)

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I could hear nothing in my ears. My hands were moving on their own as they frankly grabbed any fabric of clothing and stashed it onto the plastic bag.

I harshly wiped away the tears that were spilling from my empty eye sockets as my breathing began to pick up speed. I couldn't sense anything. I couldn't even hear my own heartbeat. I laid a hand on my heart as I tried to scream in agony but nothing came out.

I looked around in the room trying to find comfort in anything, something. Nothing came into mind. The only thoughts in my head were full of broken memories, empty promises and forgetful love.

-one year ago-

"I-I like you a lot and I hope you can accept my feelings!" I shouted as I held my hand out and bowed low so my eyes were to my feet closely. My heart was beating so loud my ears felt like they were vibrating.

I bit my lip in nervousness as I heard ushijima move a little and held onto my hand. I looked up quickly but then blushed. He had a small smile on his face as his grip on my hand was very firm.

I straightened myself up and gulped nervously waiting for him to at least give me an answer. The soft breeze made me shiver slightly and it even gave him a chill behind his neck.

"Yes. I'll accept your feelings, (y/n). Please take care of me" he finally said as he let go of my hand and smiled softly. I was full of excitement and warmth that I laughed and pulled him onto my chest.

"Thank you! Thank you! You won't regret this! I'll treat you so well that I'll even make you fall madly in love with me!" I said under one breath not even caring of what the words I said. He only chuckled and patted me to pull away. I did after apologizing for touching him so suddenly.

"Let's walk home" he said as he started to walk away. I quickly got my bag and quickly followed behind not letting myself get lost behind. A permanent smile was plastered on my face as the warmth in my cheeks never left.

-

"Ushijima I'm doing laundry so can you make dinner?" I shouted as I stood up from the couch and sighed as my joints cracked in random spots. I heard a soft grunt as I heard him moving around in the kitchen.

I smiled softly as I went into our shared bedroom. I walked over to my own laundry hamper and picked up some articles of clothing that I forgot to put in and went over to his.

I grabbed the basket and made my way to the basement and started to load up the washing machine until I emptied his hamper. A sudden underwear was dropped onto the floor.

"Oops don't want to lose-" I began to say but caught myself. My heart jumped at the unknown material that was in my hands. I looked over at it in disbelief. "What is this? This isn't mine. And it's a woman's underwear.." I thought as I examined it even more.

I turned it around and cringed at the sight. I didn't know who it was but it was certainly not mine. I sighed as I dropped the underwear to the trash with a soft smile. "Maybe ushijima wanted to be sexy? Haha!" I said as I snickered and shook my head and slammed the door shut of the washing machine.

-

The pictures that stood on our dresser made me want to vomit out my meal. I didn't feel real. Nothing felt real. Why was this happening? What did I do wrong? I finally managed to stand from my spot on the floor and tied the bag tightly.

Looking around one last time, made my skin crawl. I suddenly shouted in pain as I dropped the bag and ran around the room screaming and thrashing around anything that came in contact with my hands.

"HOW COULD YOU?! HOW COULD YOU?! HOW?!" I shouted to the picture of ushijima as I threw it on the floor harshly making it break into a thousand pieces of glass. I gasped as I kneeled down and saw the picture left Undamaged.

"I hate you. I hate you. I hate you" I repeated over and over again until I got I heard big knocks onto the door. The room looked like a wild animal came and fucked up the whole room. I sighed as I opened the window in the room and threw my bag out.

I looked back once more and bit my lip. "He did this for what? For some pussy?" I asked myself. I looked down the window and carefully climbed down by myself trying not to make as much noise as possible.

-

"Ushijima ~~" I whined as he ran his hands through my hair with a smile. "Hm?" He said as he was paying more attention to his phone than me. I turned around and laid on my stomach to look at him. "Do you love me?" I asked making him flinch at the question.

"Y-yes I do. Why wouldn't i?" He said as he glanced at me quickly from his phone. I smirked as I leaned forward and tried to peak at his screen. "What you looking at?" He quickly shut it off and threw it to the side. Much to my demise, I saw the screen.

The nude pictures of a certain female on the screen. To save myself from pain I played along that I didn't see anything. "Oh? What are you hiding?~" I said making him grip my waist and pulled me up much closer to him.

"I love you, (y/n). Don't ever doubt that" he said while looking at the side. I felt like crying. I wanted to scream at him that I knew that was a lie. But I didn't. I played along just to avoid the heartbreak.

"hmm..okay! If you say so!" I said as I kissed his nose softly and laid back down on his side and pulled the blanket to quickly cover my tears.

-

I jumped down from the window and grabbed my bag. Then, I ran. I ran away from the house he was in and ran with no care in the world. Tears covered my view but I don't care.

I started to scream and sob in pain as nearby bystanders looked at me as if I was a crazy person. I pushed through crowds ignoring the harsh foul comments thrown at me.

Nothing was in my mind as I ignored the signs telling me I was going in the wrong way. I ignored the shouts from people telling me that where I was going was dangerous. My legs became heavy and I started to drag.

-few moments ago-

"Ushijima! Happy one year-" I said as I entered the house with a suit and flowers in my hands. A blush was plastered on my cheeks but it quickly went away with the sight in front of me.

I dropped my hand making the bouquet of flowers drop onto the floor with a thud. My eyes dropped and a long sigh escaped from my lips.

Ushijima was kissing a girl on the couch. On our couch to be exact. I don't think he heard me because they were still kissing until I walked around and went up to our shared room and slammed the door tightly.

I dropped down to my knees and grabbed onto my hair pulling some loose hair out. I started to hyperventilate, my breathing was picking up. "No, no you were seeing things. He was probably telling her something on her ear" I tried to convince myself but the scene still replayed in my fresh mind.

I sobbed softly as I looked around in the room for something to help me. I took off my dress shoes and jumped at the sudden contact of the cold floor against my socks. I wiped my tears as I searched for a bag. "This will do" I said as I began to look around and shoved clothes inside it.

-

"YOUNG MAN WATCH OUT!" An elderly woman shouted as I walked onto the street not knowing my whereabouts. I turned to look to the side and saw the bright headlights of a vehicle approach me.

I couldn't hear the shouts, nor the horns. A small smile came onto my pale face as the impact knocked me off of my feet and threw me against the street a couple of feet away.

I sucked in air harshly as the hit made me loose my breath very quickly. "CALL AN AMBULANCE! HURRY!" People scrambled to come to my aid trying to see how bad I got hit.

I could finally hear things. I could hear the shouts. I could hear the yelling over the phones. I felt the warm hands touch my cold figure as they searched for a pulse. I could feel my heart beat slow down as time went by.

"STAY WITH ME! HEY!" Someone said as they moved my jaw towards them and snapped their fingers. My eyes didn't react neither did I flinch. I softly raised my hand and the person quickly grasped it and tried to make me grip back which I did.

"Tell....Ushijima that....this is all...my fault..and that I...love.." I muttered until my lips parted as my last breath escaped them. My grip on their hand dropped and my eyes stuck onto the nothingness.

Screams were vividly heard as the ambulance rushed and the paramedics quickly shoved the people back and went into work. They tried to find any sort of pulse still there but there wasn't.

The desperate and defeated sighs left their own warm lips as they went and grabbed a body bag and pulled the cover over the young mans figure.

"(Y/N)! (Y/n)! Have you guys seen a tall male around here?" A sudden male shouted to nearby strangers. He looked at the big crowd that was around an ambulance.

He turned to a stranger and explained (y/n)'s features as quick as possible growing a bit anxious at the bearing lights of the medical vehicle. The stranger covered their mouth as they pointed to the crowd from before. "He said he loved someone called Ushijima.."

Ushijima couldn't believe what he was being told as he tilted his head to the side. "Pardon?" He asked in a quiet voice. The stranger began to apologize for his loss as Ushijima walked over.

"Are you a loved one or relative?" One of the paramedics asked making Ushijima nod slowly. "Can you identify this man?" He asked as he brought him over to the body bag. Ushijima still stood confused until they lifted the bag from (y/n)'s face.

The scene of (y/n) laying there with a suit made Ushijima suddenly collapsed to his knees in front of his lifeless lover. It felt like his whole world just started to crumble beneath him. He dropped his head onto the concrete and smashed into it repeatedly. Seeing him in his suit made him remember that it was their one year anniversary.

"I-IM SO SORRY (Y/N)! IM SORRY! IF I DIDNT KISS HER YOU WOULDNT BE DEAD! AHHH FUCK!" Ushijima shouted to the floor as he apologized over and over as snot and tears ran down continuously with no stop. He slammed his fists desperately onto the floor hoping for something. Anything.

Those empty apologies fell onto the empty space as the paramedics tried to comfort the man who was screaming incoherent words. The night was ending as they hauled the body onto the ambulance and took him away as Ushijima was told to contact any loved ones that could keep an eye on him.

Ushijima experienced the ultimate walk of shame as he took slow steps in the midnight sky with no thoughts on his mind. Empty eyed looking up at the full moon. He lost the man of his life. The man he devoted his whole life with. The only man who unconditionally loved him until the very end. The night came to an end.

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I'm not good with angst so sorry if it's not good 😔