Not proofread (please read VV)

Warning: reader is transgender, violence, mentions of sexual assault, self harm mentions and anxiety attack mention. In conclusion, this chapter is very triggering.
I'm sorry this was very bad 🥺

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I whined in pain as I looked down on my arms and my stomach. The bruises never tend to go away. Those kids at school are very strong for their age.

I rushed to my feet as I hurriedly got up and we quickly changed into my uniform and got my school bag and jumped out my door as I ran fast in the sidewalk to not be late.

I rushed in on the almost closing school gates and ran inside towards my first class of the day. I panted as I made it just in time for class. I rushed in to get situated and then made my way to my class. I opened the door and saw that tsukki was already in his seat. He had his headphones on while he flipped around in his book.

I softly smiled as I walked over to him and stood above him. "Hey tsukki!" I said and he met my eyes. He quickly removed his headphones and nodded. "Thought you were going to be late or something".

"Oh! I just overslept ahaha!" I said half lying. He shrugged his shoulders as I leaned over his desk to peer over his book. "So how did you sleep?-" I asked but the slam of a door made me flinch and shut my eyes closed.

"Take your seats! Class will begin shortly" the class president shouted at the people who were standing around and talking amongst each other. I turned around slowly and they made direct contact with me.

"Go sit down, you shrimp" they yelled at me and I got stares right at me. I gulped as I looked down to my feet in embarrassment. "Watch it, he just came in" I heard tsukki defend me.

The president clicked their tongue as they left the classroom and chatter erupted all around. I sighed as I held my hand over my heart. "Thank you, tsukki" I thanked him. He just nodded. "I slept fine. How about you?" He asked. I smiled brightly and jumped on my feet.

We talked and talked until the teacher came in rather quickly. I said a quick bye and rushed to my seat. I smiled brightly knowing that tsukki defended me with no questions asked.

-

I groaned annoyingly as I tried to do some work for my classes but I really couldn't focus since the main bully I have is in this class. I quickly glanced around nervously as I felt his eyes on the back of my head. I reached for my pencil to write something down but I felt his kick my chair legs making me gag on the impact of the desk edge on my stomach.

"Is everything okay, (y/n)?" My teacher asked as she turned around from writing on the chalk board. I shook my head no as I held onto my stomach in pain. That's going to make another bruise.

He reached over and pulled my uniform back and whispered to my ear. "After school, in the back. If you don't come, I'll hurt you even more than before" he snarled as he spat onto my ear. I cringed in disgust as I didn't have a choice but to agree. I wiped my ear fast as I forced myself to not make a sound of disgust.

The bell rang and it signified it was lunch time. I stood up abruptly as I took my lunch bag and ran to the door to go to tsukkis classroom. I mumbled softly to myself as I walked to his class. I always hummed to myself to calm down or to forget how things are.

I felt a strong push on my shoulder making me wince in pain. I held my shoulder and instead of defending myself, I apologized. "Sorry, I'll be more careful".

"Pfft. What a wuss" I heard a girl say as she walked away while laughing at me. I sighed as I tried to not let this ruin my mood. I fixed my hair and then entered tsukkis class.

"Hey tsukki! Wanna go to the roof?" I said as I walked in. He looked over and smiled softly. He made his way towards me as I talked about how my day was so far, except leaving out how my bully was going to do something after school.

We made it to the rooftop and I quickly ran over to take our usual spots. I sat down on the benches as I looked over and saw how bright and colorful the morning sky looked.

Tsukki followed as he sat down next to me. "How was your day today?" I asked him with a smile as he wrapped his hand around mine and rubbed his thumb across the top of it in a soothing manner.

"It was fine. A lot of homework though" he said as he sighed. I nodded as I laid my head on his tall shoulder and closed my eyes. "Yeah, I got a lot of it too but I'll do in between classes. Do you have practice today?" I asked him discreetly with a smile.

"Hmm yeah I do. Why? Did you want to do something?" He asked as he removed our hands and went to open his lunch bag and I did as well. "Nah, just wanted to ask" I said. He gave me a side glance as he wanted to question me but I laughed out loud.

"Oh, tsukki I just remembered this video I saw on tik tok! Look" I said as I took a bite of my sandwich and took out my phone and showed him a funny video I found in order to not make myself seem suspicious.

-

"Man, that was so good" I said as I dumped my trash and tsukki did as well. Lunch time was about to end and I hurriedly packed my bag. "See you later, tsukki" I said with a smile as I turned to walk out the door but I felt him grasp my arm. I bit my lip harshly as I turned around quickly so he can let go of me.

"Oh, what's wrong?" I asked but he didn't say anything. He stared at my lips with a sincere look and I laughed lightly. "You could just ask me to kiss you, tsukki" I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his around my waist.

I groaned softly at the pressure he added but played it off as I brought his head down as we shared a kiss. I kissed him passionately as I tried to pull away but tsukki pushed against me even more.

I moaned as he deepened the kiss as he moved his head to the side as he licked my bottom lip. I gasped as our tongues met and touched. I blushed as we pulled away and a string of saliva was visible.

I quickly wiped my mouth as I looked away shyly. "Didn't know you were so needy" I said as he chuckled and leaned close to me as our foreheads touched.

"Sorry, we haven't kissed in a while" he stated with a slight blush. I smiled widely at how desperate he's been for me. I giggled and pecked his lips once again. "Tsukki~! I didn't know you were like this" I teased as he groaned but smiled as I continued to tease him.

-

I grumbled as my last class finished and I packed my bag to meet tsukki outside the school. I smiled to myself as I hummed a song that really liked at the moment.

I walked down the stairs and met tsukki outside of the school doors. I could tell where he was due to him being quite tall and having blonde hair.

I threw my hands up to signify I'm coming over. "Hey tsukki!" I greeted him. He turned to look at me and smiled. "Hey, lets go over to the gym hall before you go home" he said. I hesitated but nonetheless I nodded. He took my hand in his and I blushed. Tsukki didn't like showing pda in school but he's holding my hand through the crowds.

We made it to the outside hall that connected the gym and the school building. "When do you leave practice?" I asked him as he stood in front of me while holding my hands. "In an hour or so. Are you going to go home right now?" He asked me and I looked away.

"N-no. I have something to do. But I can wait for you so we can walk home?" I asked him with a smile. He cocked an eyebrow at the mention that I had something to do. "What do you have to do?" He asked he tilted his head cutely.

I scanned the floor in trying to find a lie that could be believable. "Ah-uhm! I have to go print something in the library so I'll hang there! Ah! Your friends are coming, let's hurry before they see" I said as he jumped up at the mention of his teammates of his volleyball team.

We quickly leaned close and kissed and pulled away. I blushed as I waved him off and turned the corner. I avoided his friends as they saw me run out quickly.

I huffed as I held onto my chest to catch my breath. I then walked over to the back of the building to see my bully, leaning against the wall with a smirk.

-

"Is that all?" I said as I gave him a big wad of money, that I was going to use for my necessities. He laughed at me and grabbed the money harshly and shoved it in his pocket without counting it.

"Nope! I want you to get on your knees and show me that pretty chest of yours" he said as he stepped closer to me. I gasped in fear as I stepped back quickly and threw my hands. "No! Please just beat me up, do anything but that!" I begged him as he snickered at my vulnerable state.

I began to hyperventilate as he yanked my hair and brought our faces fairly close. I grabbed his hand that was holding my hair and scratched it to make him let me go. "Please! Please don't do this!" I pleaded as he yanked my hair tighter as he laughed straight at my face.

"Look at you, so pathetic it makes me want to puke" he spat as he threw me on the floor with great force. I moaned in pain as the bruises kept hurting. He stepped over me and sat on my crotch.

I groaned as I looked up at him in fear. He smirked as he threw his hand around my throat and gripped it very tightly. I began to claw at his hand as tears began to pour down my face. "P..lease..let..go" I cried out but it came out in such a quiet voice.

I tried to kick him away but he slipped out a pocket knife and held it above my chest. "Say another word, and I'll cut your chest wide open" he said as he ran the knife up and down my chest.

I was sobbing uncontrollably as I ignored his previous threat. I could hear my heart thumping in my ears as I desperately needed air. Saliva ran down my chin as I looked up at the sky as random black dots started to form in my view.

"Alright, now we can start-" he said as he nudged at my shirt as he cut it open swiftly as my chest binder be noticeable making me cry even louder. Before he could touch me or do anything more I heard a bag drop harshly onto the ground. I snapped my head to the sound and my eyes widened.

Tsukki stood there with a disbelief look as his eyes looked at me and then over to the bully. His hands clenched and unclenched at the sight he came across with. I threw a hand up to keep him away.

"K...knife...!" I managed to say before the bully let go of my throat and stepped harshly onto my stomach. I gasped out in pain as I gripped his shoe to let go. "Hey, four eyes. Get lost before I hurt you too" he said as he wiggled his knife around.

Tsukki looked over at me again as I held my neck as I breathed harshly. I felt my whole body grow cold as my head was running so fast with many thoughts. I couldn't grasp reality until I heard tsukki chuckled lowly.

"I would keep my hands away from my boyfriend if I were you" he said as he took off his glasses and placed them against his bag on the floor. I shook my head as I tapped my hand on the floor to grab his attention. "Please..dont tsukki" I said but he ignored me as he took off his school jacket and rolled up his sleeves quite far up.

The bully laughed as he stepped off of me and moved to tsukki. "Boyfriend?! Do you see what that fucker is wearing?" He said as he spat at me. I mumbled something to myself as I finally sat up and tried to cover my binder. Tsukki smiled as he stared dead at the bully. "I'll say this again, I would stay away from my BOYFRIEND if I were you". The bully shouted as he launched over to tsukki with a big punch. Tsukki grabbed his fist and went to grab onto his other hand quickly to avoid getting stabbed.

The bully noticed as he smiled sickly as he moved his hand back and brought it to tsukkis cheek and cut it up slightly. I heard tsukki wince in pain but he didn't step back. He kneed his stomach as the bully stepped back for a second.

Then tsukki jumped at him and harshly grasped the knife and threw it as far as he could. I managed to regain my strength as I moved towards the knife and grasped the wall in order to get up.

They were still fighting each other and it made me very upset but relieved at the same time. "Please stop! Can you leave us alone?" I cried out to the bully who was currently trying to hurt tsukki but tsukki kicked him off very far.

Tsukki jumped on his feet as he gasped for air. He stood in front of me in order to protect me. I cried even more of how protective he is towards me despite the situation. "How can I when all I want to do is..touch you all over your body?" He said as he wiped his mouth with the back of his arm, blood being tainted on it.

I cowardly went behind tsukki at the mention of his words towards me. "You human piece of garbage. He's my beautiful boyfriend and I'll never let you touch him!" He spat out as he got in his stance again ready to fight once more.

"How many time do I have to tell you? That isn't a BOY! Just look at that thing!-" he mentioned towards me and I cried even more as I cling onto the back of tsukkis shirt. "Please..lets just go" I whined.

Tsukki was going to respond until I heard a big gasp from the bully as his body fell onto the floor. A big thud followed as I looked over. It was tsukkis friends. One of them had a big rock on his hand as he dropped it with a sigh.

"YO! Are you okay tsukki? And who's that?" I heard an unknown male yell. Tsukki sighed in relief as he turned around to me. "Here, wear it. I'll go explain this whole mess to them okay and you can tell me when we go home" he simply said as he gave me his jacket and I wrapped it around myself with a sniffle. He looked down at me and he was debating whether to kiss me or not since his friends were there.

"Fuck it" he whispered as he leaned down and gave my cheek a peck. Then he swiftly turned and walked over to them and began to explain to them. I held my cheek with a blush as they would glance over to me as tsukki explained to them.

-

The bully was sent to the police and I was going to be brought in tomorrow for a statement. We were currently walking to tsukkis house as our hands were held tightly. Well, tsukki was holding onto mine very tightly.

"Wahh! Look at the sky!" I exclaimed as the sky turned to a very pretty shade of violet. I looked over to tsukki and his eyebrows were very stiff as if he was thinking. I closed my mouth as we continued to walk in silence.

-

"Here, you can change into any shirt I have and shorts" tsukki said as he came into his room and gave me a cup of water. I thanked him as I took a sip and went over to his closet.

"Thanks I'll be quick!" I told him as he nodded and looked at me one last time before he exited the room. I quickly grabbed a familiar shirt. I examined it and then I started to shake.

"H..he still has..this?" I asked to myself as it was the shirt I bought for him in our first date. I shakily put it on, it being very large on my body. As I took off my pants and slid on some shorts he had.

I quietly looked over at the bruises on my body and the slight cuts that littered all over it as well. I didn't want to hide anymore. It pained me everyday, to pretend everything was okay. It hurt to lie to tsukki that nothing was wrong.

Without thinking, I bolted out of the room with tears on my face. My vision became blurry but I still managed to find the blonde. "Oh, you okay (y/n)?" He asked as he stood up from his couch with a slight worry.

"No! Nothing's okay! I..I" I cried out as I held my arms out for something to grab and he ran over to me. "Let's sit down" he said with worry.

He moved us to his room again and placed us in his bed. I explained to him what the bully has been doing to me and what I did in order to cope, even if it was extremely unhealthy.

He didn't say anything as he stared on my stomach as I lowered my shirt growing self conscious. He sighed deeply as he looked over at my arms. He ran a finger down them and cringed at how the texture of the split skin jumped out and felt harsh on his finger.

He took off his glasses and looked down. I became scared that he might think I don't trust him or anything. "I'm sorry tsukki! I didn't know what to do! I didn't want him to hurt you" I explained to him but he brought his arm up and noticed tears on them.

"Tsukki! What's wrong?" I said concerned as I moved close to him as I lifted his face with my fingers on his chin. He was sobbing as his face seemed deeply hurt. My chest hurt even more.

I threw my arms around him as he followed as well and gripped me close. "You idiot, I'll rather have me get hurt than you!" He yelled at me as he sobbed loudly while stroking my hair. I gripped his shirt as I shook my head. "I wouldn't forgive myself if you did" I admitted.

He shook his head as we pulled away. I wholeheartedly smiled at how dumb we were acting. "I'm really grateful you were there to help me. I don't know what he would've done if you weren't" I said with a tint of fear in my voice.

"Let's not think about that, please" he said as he ran his thumb across my cheek. I ran mine down his slight scar that was forming. His eye twitched when I touched it and I pulled my hand away.

"Next time you ever think of doing this again or if he ever hurts you again...please call me (y/n)" he begged me as I leaned our noses together. I nodded furiously at his request.

We stared at each other deeply until I shoved our lips together. I moved onto his lap as he placed his hands softly on my waist.

"You...sure...you..like...me?" I asked in between our kisses. Tsukki looked at me as if I asked a dumb question. "If I didn't I wouldn't be kissing you right now, stupid" he said as he ran his hand onto my hair and placed our lips together once again.

"Ah! You're right tsukki!" I said as I giggled as he moved from my lips onto my face. He kissed my forehead, my nose, my cheeks and down my chin. He then moved down to my neck and I squirmed since I was ticklish.

"Tsukki! Don't leave any marks we have school tomorrow!" I said but with a laugh. He chuckled against my skin, sending shivers up and down my body. I felt him suck harshly on my skin as I gripped his shoulders for support.

-

"Are you sure you like me? Even if I'm trans?" I asked once again as we were cuddled up in his bed, me in between his legs as we watched a random video. He was currently messing with my hair locks.

"Yes, (y/n). You being trans doesn't make me stop loving you" he said as he brought my hand up and kissed it softly. I blushed at this action. "Gosh, i didn't know you were such a sweetheart!" I gushed as he kissed my hand even more and then kissed the back of my neck softly.

He brought my shirt collar up to cover my binder with a smile. "Just for you, (y/n)" he stated as he nuzzled his head on the crook of my neck. I giggled as I brought my hand up and patted his head.

"But if you tell anyone, I swear I'll never hear the end of it" he groaned as I mentally clenched my hand since I wanted to tease him with his friends about how sweet he really is.

-

This was super long as well so I'm sorry if you get lost on the way 😳