Not proofread
warning: angst up ahead :,(
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I hurriedly packed my things in my side bag and went to exit the classroom. I asked semi to wait for me outside the school gates near the blossom tree. Today I was going to confess my feelings for him and hopefully nothing drastically changes between us since we're in the volleyball team together.

I rushed down the stairs apologizing if I bumped into someone accidentally. I made my way outside and saw the familiar purple jacket in front of the blossom tree. He was looking down at his phone and tapping his foot impatiently.

I smiled and brushed my hair a little and cleared my throat. "Semi hey! Thanks for waiting" I yelled as I came running while waving him. He simply looked at me and nodded. "So what did you need?" He asked putting his phone away and turning to look at me.

"I wanted to tell you something important and I don't want it to affect our performances in volleyball" I said rubbing my neck shyly and looked down. "Take your time (y/n)" he said as I looked up and gave me a soft smile.

I sighed and went for it. I shut my eyes closed and clenched onto my bag strap and let the words out of my mouth with no second thought. "I like you semi, more than a friend!" I said and held my breath. I didn't know what was going to happen.

I heard him sigh disappointedly and I shot my eyes open and looked up at him. "I'm sorry, I really don't swing that way and I just want to focus on volleyball" was all he said as simply bowed and walked away not even turning around.

I felt the hard hit onto my heart and my throat instantly became dry and it began to hurt. I prepared for the worst outcome but I guess I really wasn't. I wanted to go and go home but my legs wouldn't budge. I stood there holding onto my chest with tears on my face.

A few minutes passed until I was able to move and I didn't let it go to waste. I ran with all my might towards home. I felt my lungs began to hurt and I was gasping for a break but I didn't stop. I ran and ran even if people saw me crazy.

I finally made it home. I quickly got my keys out and opened my door hastily and went inside. I slid down against it and sighed heavily. I was heaving loudly as my tears came back again. I held my knees onto my chest as I let out my sobs until I tired myself out.

-

"Hey have you guys seen (y/n)~?" Tendo asked as he looked around while stretching getting ready for practice. The team sighed and tried to avoid the question. Ushijima didn't read the mood and bluntly answered. "He's in vacation" he said as he tossed the ball to check its air pressure.

Semi overheard and began to question it. (Y/n) loves volleyball deeply and he knew he would never miss the opportunity to play it. It was rare for him to take vacation since all these years he's been in the volleyball team, he's never taken a sick day at max.

Semi began to think about options as to why he's not here right now. But then he remembered the confession (y/n) did towards him. He sighed and shook his head. He thought that (y/n) was not actually hurt that deeply from that.

"Let's begin practice" he suggested and the team nodded with him and they began practice like usual, but without (y/n).

-

I sighed as I laid in my bed with empty cans of red bull in my bed. I rolled over and saw that it was 10 am. I rubbed my eyes knowing I'm missing school and I'll miss practice even though I never do. No matter the circumstances.

I finally got up and headed towards my bathroom. I lazily brushed my teeth and I stopped in my tracks and looked at myself in the mirror. I had horrible eye bags building up. I looked at my hair and it was close to growing down to my neck. I took my hair scissors I had in the cabinet behind the mirror.

I didn't notice until my hand went into my hair and chopped off a chunk of hair. Then I couldn't stop myself. I went in my hair and cut every piece of hair I came across with. I felt myself being overwhelmed with emotions and I didn't stop myself this time. I let it happen. I screamed with tears falling down my cheeks with no care in the world.

I slammed the scissors down the sink that was clumped up with hair. I went into the cabinet and hurriedly found the electric razor and plugged it in. I turned it on and looked at myself in the mirror. I was hurting deeply. All because of a simple boy. But then I frowned. He wasn't just a random boy. He's the first friend I ever made. He meant so much to me. That's why I'm breaking this bad.

I ran the razor and gave myself a buzz cut. I cleaned my face and any loose hair in my neck. I cleaned the sink to my best ability and looked at myself one last time. It looked really good on me than I thought it would have been. I sadly smiled then looked down to my arms. They were really skinny and small.

I took this chance of this one week to better myself. Not for semi, but for me. To get over him and focus on volleyball. Just like he said. I softly smiled and left my bathroom.

-time skip one week-

I sighed as I ran my hand through my head and looked at the school gates. It was my day back. I got a new hairstyle, same attitude with some alterations and I got more ripped. I finally got muscle and I built up my stamina.

I smiled softly as people looked at me confusingly as I made my way to my first class. "M-mr. (l/n)! Great makeover" my teacher said I walked in fresh. "Thank you!" I said blushing. I was still me, the easily flustered boy.

My classes went fine besides the constant stares and gossip I was hearing due to my different appearance. I excitedly made my way down to the gym getting ready to go back to volleyball with my team. I pushed the doors wide open with a big smile.

"I'm back!!" I yelled as my team was currently practicing spiking. I heard gasps and I shyly stood there. "(Y/n)?! is that you?" Goshiki gasped as he ran towards me. They all finally came and started to compliment left and right.

"T-thank you but hey! Look at my guns!" I yelled as I stripped off my jacket and flexed my guns. They all gasped and even ushijima was shocked. They all laughed and said they were glad I was doing okay.

I felt a tug on my side and turned. It was semi and he looked like he had something to say. "We'll be back okay?" I said as semi pulled me outside far way so they wouldn't be able to hear our conversation.

"What's up?" I asked trying not to break down in front of him to show any weakness. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Are you sure you're okay? It wasn't like you to miss a whole week" he said as he looked at me concerned.

I didn't budge and smiled. "I'm better than ever! And I said I was on vacation with my family!" I lied as I flashed him a smile. "No you weren't-" he started again and I smiled as I began to walk to him with a menacing look. I backed him up to a wall.

I aggressively punched the wall besides his face and he looked at my knuckles shocked. "Didn't you tell me you needed to focus on volleyball? So that's what I'm doing too so back off" I said as I lifted up my hand and my knuckles began to bruise a little.

I began to walk away and felt strong arms around my waist. He was trying to prevent me from walking away. "Don't leave um...um I love you (y/n) let's go out!" He yelled towards my back and I felt the same pain I felt the day we were under the blossom tree.

I placed my hands on his arms and sighed. I forcefully pulled them off of me and looked at him dead at the eye. "It's not cool to play with someone's feelings semi" I said as I had felt myself start to cry but I wiped them away quickly.

"Especially someone that respects you" I said as I turned and walked right back in the gym, leaving him speechless by himself. I sighed as I got in and went back to my self and began practice with a pained smile but it was for the best.

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Hope this was good for an angst 🥺