Oikawa: Hmmm... what if Ushiwaka-chan gets a child in the future and then there would be one time when he would either get mad at the child and slap his back or something or when they would be laughing and then he just says "son you r so funny" before unconsciously landing a hand on the child's head or whatever?

Iwaizumi: So? What's the idea?

Oikawa: Can you not ATLEAST SEE THE POINT OF WHAT I HAD TOLD YOU OMG IWA-CHAN JUST IMAGINE WHAT WOULD BE THE OUTCOME OF THINGS IF HE SLAPS THE CHILD ON THE BACK OR ON THE HEAD

Iwaizumi: That would hurt.

... wait. Wait, that would hurt.

Oikawa: HAVE U FINALLY REALIZED

Iwaizumi: THE CHILD WOULD DIE

Oikawa: HE WOULD HAVE HIS HEAD BURRIED UNDER THE SAND IF THEY'RE ON A BEACH

Iwaizumi: HOLY SHIT UR RIGHT

Oikawa: OR MAYBE HE'D GET THE STONES PLANTED ON HIS FACE IF THEY'RE ON A ROCKY PLACE

Iwaizumi: OH MY GOD SHITTYKAWA HOW COULD YOU

Oikawa: I MUST STOP HIM FROM GETTING HIMSELF A SON

Iwaizumi: BUT HOW

Oikawa: I DON'T KNOW. U HAVE ANY IDEAS?

Iwaizumi: NOPE. NONE OF THEM.

Oikawa: WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO I WANT TO SAVE THE CHILD'S LIFE

Iwaizumi: HIS SPIKES LITERALLY KILL THE FLOOR AND THE VOLLEYBALL WTF R WE SUPPOSED TO TELL HIM

Oikawa: WHY U ASK ME

Iwaizumi: OH NO J--

Ushijima: Then come to Shiratorizawa, Mr. Oikawa Tooru.

Oikawa: ...

Iwaizumi: ...

Oikawa: ....

Iwaizumi: ...

Oikawa: What

Iwaizumi: The

Ushijima: FUCK

Tendou: ME

Oikawa: ... *faces iwa* RUN