( This was actually on my other HQ shit book, but I just had to share it here. I re-read it and gagged a few times tbh. )

Kuroo [ Level 15: Dark Knight ]: Hey guys!

Kenma [ Level 11: Assassin ]: *sees kuroo* . . . I hate my life.

Yaku [ Level 17: Priest ]: WHY AM I INVOLVED IN THIS SHIT

Taketora [ Level 3: Warrior ]: I'M A WARRIOR!

Innouka [ Level 37: Thief ]: You're on level 3 tho.

Taketora: . . . *runs away crying*

Innouka: . . . Oh my god

Kuroo: lmao

Kenma: why am i stuck with this loser

Yaku: WHY AM I HERE WITH EVERYONE WTF

Innouka: where's lev?

Everyone: . . .

- an NPC comes running -

NPC: DEAR ADVENTURERS! WOULD YOU HELP ME?!

Yaku: STOP SCREAMING YOUR HEAD OFF IF YOU WANT US TO HELP YOU

NPC: I'M So sorry. . .

Kuroo: *puts arm over the npc's shoulders* so what'cha got there?

NPC: A-a demon lord has kidnapped one of the most influential adventurers in the land, and that adventurer is the town's guard! We're going to be in trouble if he doesn't show up!

Kenma: why would the well-known adventurer even be kidnapped?

Innouka: *slaps hand over kenma's mouth*

Yaku: don't rob kenma, innouka

Innouka: i won't

Kuroo: ok we'll help!

Yaku: NONE OF US AGREED--

Kuroo: ssshHHhhh

Yaku: DON'T YOU DARE--

Innouka: *steals yaku's voice* . . . I didn't know i could do that.

Kenma: *muffed* wow

Yaku: *soundless screaming*

Kuroo: so where'd the demon lord go?

NPC: that mountain, sir *points to the mountain*

Kuroo: okay

NPC: . . .

Kuroo: okay. So what'd the adventurer look like?

NPC: um he had green eyes

Kuroo: uh-huh

NPC: silver hair

Kuroo: . . . Sure

NPC: and he was really tall

Kuroo: . . . Oh. . . Um okay?

NPC: he wore a full plate armor with a carving of the number 11 on the chest part

Kuroo: . . . I don't like where this is heading to.

NPC: and he had a beard.

Kuroo: WTF

Kenma: *muffled* not lev

Yaku: *silent shouting*

Innouka: fancy *removes hand on kenma's mouth*

NPC: PLEASE HELP US! *wiggles out of kuroo's grip and does the dogeza*

Everyone except npc: . . . You look familiar.

NPC: . . . I-I do?

Kenma: yeh

Kuroo: sure do

Innouka: idk but yeah i guess

Yaku: *nodding*

- and they hear taketora screaming down in the village -

- but no one cares -

Kenma: aren't you terushima?

NPC: teru what

Kenma: terushima yuuji

NPC: *stands up and stomps on ground* BRO NO YOU NUGGET FUCKER I AM AN NPC AND ACCEPT THE FUCKING QUEST RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW GODDAMNIT WHOEVER THIS TERUSHIMA YUUJI IS, I WILL BEAT HIS LAME ASS FOR LOOKING LIKE ME *twirls around* I'M A RARE DESIGN!

Nekomas: *slowly backing away* *hides behind trees*

Kuroo: *pokes his head out the bushes a little bit* WE ACCEPT 'YER QUEST.

NPC: YAY! *blows up*

Innouka: . . . Ok then

Kenma: wow

Yaku: *nudging innouka*

Innouka: . . . Meh. It's best if i leave tou without your voice.

Yaku: *frustrated sobbing*

- and the adventurers go down to town and they notice that every citizen looks like terushima -

Kuroo: . . . Plot twist.

Citizen A: hi dear adventurers! Are you looking for a place to stay?

Citizen B: *in a woman outfit* *terushima voice trying to sound like a lady* oh my, such nice looking young men!

Kenma: . . .

Yaku: . . .

Innouka: . . .

Kuroo: . . .

Carrot: . . .

Nekomas: *teleport to the end of the town*

Yaku: *crying*

Innouka: that grossed me out so much.

Kenma: true

Kuroo: i felt goosebumps--

Ushijima [ Level 14: Farmer ]: Someone say goose? QUACK QUACK

Kuroo: that's a duck, you bozo

Ushijima: . . . Oh. . . *loud crying*

Innouka: . . . *steals his money* run.

- and the adventurers ran towards the mountain -

Taketora: *running about naked*

Kuroo: OH MY GOD

Kenma: *faints*

Yaku: *uses holy hammer skill on taketora*

Taketora: *hp goes zero and he falls on the ground*

Nekomas except dead taketora: . . .

Innouka: nice

Kuroo: don't go stealing his virginity--

Kenma: *wakes up and slaps kuroo* don't.

Kuroo: BUT I WAS--

Kenma: *slaps him again* NO.

Kuroo: Q ^ Q

Innouka: why'd we kill him tho

Yaku: *pointing at author*

Kuroo: rather not

Kenma: ok let's go rescue the adventurer

Innouka: . . . What's our reward?

Nekomas except dead taketora: . . .

Kuroo: i dunno, his identity?

Kenma: . . . Good enough.

Yaku: *laughing silently*

Innouka: ok

- and so, the sun goes down and they arrive at the headquarters of the demon king -

Kenma: who is the demon king?

Tendou [ Level 1: Demon King ]: IIIII AAAAAM THE DEMON KINGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Kuroo: *smashes him with a skill*

Tendou: *dies*

Nekomas: . . . What

Innouka: that's it?

Yaku: *strangles innouka*

Innouka: *gives him back his voice*

Yaku: FINALLY YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT I WAS GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE IF YOU DIDN'T FUCKING RETURN MY PRECIOUS GODDAMN VOICE IN--

Innouka: *steals his voice*

Kuroo: . . .

Kenma: . . . Bye yaku-san

Yaku: *silent crying and runs down the mountain and falls face first so he gets his flesh ripped by sharp rocks and he falls into the sea only to be eaten by seductive mermaids who turned out to be lochness monsters*

Innouka: . . . Wow.

Kuroo: you killed him.

Kenma: *mourning*

Kuroo: *hugs kenma*

Kenma: *pushes kuroo off the mountain*

Kuroo: *tumbles down the mountain but lands on a mountain goat's back so he's fine and he goes back up with a shit eating grin* let's go get the adventurer!

Kenma: *sad face*

Innouka: why am i still alive tho

Kenma: whadd'ya mean?

Innouka: i mean, I'm, like, a side character or something why am i still here?

Kuroo: no one knows

Kenma: you'll probably die soon

Innouka: D:

- and then a pterodactyl swoops down and grabs innouka by his arms and flies into the sky with him -

Pterodactyl: MARRY ME

Innouka: . . . FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Kuroo: there he goes

Kenma: i just saw the future

Kuroo: lmao

Kenma: oh well

Kuroo: im not going to suicide tho

Kenma: sure

- kenma and kuroo enter the headquarters of the dead demon king and they see that it's decorated with hello kitty stuff, but they ignore it because there was a Buddha protecting the hello kitty shrine and they move towards the hot spring, and they find a tied-up, unconscious silver-haired adventurer -

Kuroo: why is he in the onsen

Kenma: i dunno, viktor maybe?

Kuroo: . . . Good point.

Kenma: *starts untying the adventurer*

Kuroo: *wakes him up*

Adventurer: *wakes up* oh. Oh, hi. Thanks. *gets up*

Kenma: *sees that he's dripping with blood from a stab wound to the stomach*

Adventurer: can we get out now so i can eat katsudon in my darling yaku's house? *yawns*

Kuroo: yaku's dead you bitch

Adventurer: oh.

Kenma: . . .

Adventurer: cool.

Kuroo: I'm sorry, what?

Adventurer: i said cool. So no longer have to fucking propose to that little shit in a church in Vatican city after episode 10.

Kenma: wtf

Kuroo: you're injured

Adventurer: oh *looks down on body* totally forgot about that *faints*

Kenma: oh.

Kuroo: he's got no beard tho

Kenma: this dude is lev

- and they take lev home and present him to the villagers and they make a fiesta in town to thank the adventurers. Lev turns out to be a famous ice warrior who has the full name of Lev Nikiforov and he comes from Russia. Kuroo and kenma gets haunted by yaku, tora and innouka's ghosts and they run into a large tryrannosaurus rex in the middle of the unicorn bouncy house and they get eaten. The end. -