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karina's

love is selfish.

love means holding on, even if there are no reasons to—at least, that's what i learned from her.

i never really understood romantic relationships before. my parents say that love is a distraction, that love would keep me away from succeeding because they've already made a path for me, even if i never truly wanted it.

i'm left to walk upon the path created by my parents, and so it pushed me to avoid people, it pushed me to avoid getting to know others,

except you.

i still remember your confused gaze, your whimpers. i remember how you sobbed, as you desperately held on to the swings, as if your life depended on it.

you were shaking, horribly—and suddenly i was back inside my parents' house, my dad's loud voice echoing inside the room, my report card fell flat on the carpets i used to sit on.

"you are a disgrace! you're nothing but a disappointment to our family!"

my report card was left on that carpet that day, forgotten.

i remember sitting on the swing beside yours, i remember grabbing my handkerchief, as i gave it to you, without exchanging words at all.

i remember feeling your gaze, and our eyes locked.

"tell me more about you." i said, breaking the silence. you sucked in a breath, trying to stop yourself from crying once again.

"w-why do you suddenly want to know more about me?" you asked,

yet i also had no idea why i wanted to get to know you; but when i looked into your eyes, it was like you were ready to tell me about your secrets, your deepest darkest fears, like you were ready to give me yourself. you were ready to let me in your life,

and suddenly—i knew i was ready to let you in on mine.

love is selfish,

because you are selfish, winter. because you will never learn how to let everything go.