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seventeen - back & forth


Clear rain droplets slide down the slightly fogging window of my last period class, Biology. I follow each droplet with my eyes, the path they leave imprinting in my mind, creating a canvas over the window like some runny watercolor painting. 

"Earth to Katya." Ester's hand appears in front of my face, her black nail polish breaking my focus. 

I shake my shoulders slightly, blinking fast, my watering eyes creating fake tears in the corners of my eyes. 

"Sorry, I really need to sleep." I groan, rubbing my eyes with the backs of my hands. 

"Seriously, what's up with you? You look like a ghost."

"Gee, thanks." I yawn in the middle of my sarcastic comment. 

"You would tell me if something was going on wouldn't you?" Ester asks, placing her cold hand on my forearm. 

I stare at her for a moment, from her dark lined eyes to the sharp peak of her eyebrows. She had a kind face, but a face that hadn't seen enough to be called mature. Almost like a child, innocent of the world around her. 

"Of course." I lie. 

She smiles, and my stomach drops a few levels lower. How the hell am I supposed to have friends? How do you live lying to people day after day?

The buzzing of my phone interrupts my thoughts, and I pull it out, swiping it open quickly. 

And my stomach drops an entire building. 

"Unknown Number: Clock is ticking, Katya. You better open your pretty little ears this time or you'll lose them." 

I stare and stare at the lit screen of the phone, refusing to blink but scared to keep my eyes open. 

"Phone, Katya. Put it away." The teacher's voice at the front of the class rattles around my skull before it registers. 

"S-sorry." I stutter, lowering the phone to my lap below the lab bench. 

Clock is ticking. 

So much had happened in the past few days that I had almost forgotten about my mysterious stalker. The stalker who knew about my mother. Anger bubbles in my chest and my fingers begin to fly against the keyboard. 

"Whoever you are, this isn't funny. I don't know how you know about my mother and I don't care. Just leave me alone." 

And I hit send. 

My mind is racing. 

It has to be someone from my old school, or my old neighborhood. Someone who knew my life and knew what connection my mother had to my father. 

Or it could just be a joke, a lucky guess. It could be nothing. 

But could also be everything. 

My phone buzzes again and my eyes fly to my lap. 

"Unknown Number: Come on, Katya. Don't you want to know where your mother is?" 

My fingers shake as I begin to type a response. 

"Who are you, and how do you know about my mother?" 

The response is almost immediate. 

"Unknown Number: My dear, it doesn't work that way. You give me what I want, and you might find your mother's body in one piece." 

My entire body is pounding with blood rushing to every corner of me. 

"Unknown Number: But that can wait. I want to play a little game, Katya. Your little boyfriend knows more that he lets on, and that's why I need you to stay away from him. Or you'll never see mommy dearest again." 

An image of my mother locked in a basement somewhere, shackled against a wall and starving to death appears in my mind and a shudder goes through me, shaking me to the core. 

"Katya, are you okay?" Ester grabs my arm again and I jump out of my seat, eliciting a sharp squeak, and all eyes in the classroom land on me. 

"Katya, sit down." The teacher barks but right now I don't care, I just blink back tears and without even grabbing my books or bag I bolt from the classroom, my phone clutched in a death grip against my chest. 

I race down the hall, my head throbbing and my vision blurring with tears. My phone buzzes in my hand but I can't hear it, I can't feel it. 

And suddenly my numb body connects with a brick wall, a brick wall with arms that wrap around me before I can fall. 

No no no. He is the last person I can see right now, the last person I want to touch me. 

The only person who could calm me down. 

The only person who could get my mother killed. 

"Let go of me!" I scream, but my voice comes out hoarse and cracked like a dying frog. I squirm in his hands but the more I move the more his grip on me tightens. I refuse to open my eyes, I refuse to look at him. 

Stay away from him. 

"Luk-" A hand goes over my mouth and my eyes fly open, meeting his shining ones. His eyes are wide with concern and confusion, his dark brows peaked in an expression of fear. 

"Katya, what the fuck is going on?" He whispers to me, looking around me to see if the empty hallway holds any sort of security. 

"Let go of me or I'll scream bloody murder." I try to sound menacing, but tears garble my speech and I'm spluttering like a fish out of water. 

Luka settles me on my feet and his grip disappears from my arms, expecting me to stay still. But I quickly bolt out of the front doors of the school, quickly scampering down the concrete steps. And being the idiot I am, my foot catches on the last step, sending me flying forward. 

My stomach scrapes against the ground and my cheek slams into the parking lot granite. But I pick myself up, ignoring the stinging of my entire body. 

"Katya, slow down!" I hear Luka shout from behind me and the slapping of shoes against pavement accompanies his voice. 

I don't respond, the gasping of my breath heavy and sharp in my ears. My phone continues to buzz in my hand. 

I turn to the right, sprinting towards a field of grass leading to a gravel lined park. Oxygen isn't entering my lungs and I can't breath, pressure building and building and I feel like a balloon ready to pop when a force hits me from behind, tackling me into the grass. 

Dirt and leaves and grass stick to my lips and I spit randomly, the bitter taste making me want to be sick. 

"Luka, let go of me!" I choke out, but my words are muffled against the brush. 

"N-no." He replies, extremely out of breath. He flips me over onto my stomach, hovering over me with his hands gripping my arms, and his legs over mine, pinning me down. 

And I spit into his face.

He flinches and shakes off the blades of grass I spewed onto his cheek, but he doesn't budge. 

"Please, Luka." I beg, tears streaming down my cheeks once again. "Please leave me alone." 

"No." He grits, his jaw tightening fiercely for a moment. "What the hell is going on, Katya?" 

"You're going to get her killed!" I scream, my voice echoing against the misty air. The clouds above us are dark and ready to open a downpour upon us. 

And then silence. 

Luka blinks at me twice. Three times. 

"What?" He whispers dangerously. 

"You're going to get my mother killed." I breath out, my body exhausted. 

I can practically see his mind racing, his eyes scanning my entire face. 

He begins to mutter under his breath in spanish, and his grip continues to tighten against my arms, almost painfully. 

"Just let me go." I whisper, practically begging with him. 

He doesn't look at me, his eyes scanning the scratches on my cheek and my exposed stomach, now bleeding slightly. 

"Give me your phone." He suddenly says and I jump slightly. 

"What?" I ask, confused. 

"Just give it to me." He barks, his eyes turning angry. 

"N-no." 

"I swear to God, Katya, don't fight me on this." 

"Why can't you just leave me alone, Luka? This is your fault!" I snap at him, squirming under his grip, causing my stomach to sing intensely. 

"I'm trying to help you!" He shouts back, leaning down at me with squinted eyes. 

"By getting my mother killed?!" I'm angry now, the fear in my chest still present but covered by a slowly growing rage. 

"Whoever has her has some sort of connection to my father, and therefore, it is my problem. You're my problem. I don't just discard things like your father."

I chuckle, but humor is gone from my voice. "I don't need your heroics, Vincenzo." I say the name with as much malice as I can. 

"I can't know you, and I certainly can't be seen with you. Whoever has my mother wants it that way, and so that's how it's going to be. You might not care about your family but I do." 

He growls at me, his grip on me tightening almost painfully and his face draws dangerously close to mine, breathing heavily. 

"Don't test me, gringita." 

We stare blindly at each other, furious eyes meeting each other. 

"If this has to do with my family, and what my family does, it has to do with me." He grits through closed teeth, bared and ready to snap. 

"And I don't take disrespect lightly. I am going to find your mother, and I don't care if you hate me the entire time. I'm not doing this for you. This is so I don't have to see my family be responsible for another life ruined. So, are you going to cooperate or not?"

I stare into his eyes, looking for any sign of deception or trickery. I don't want to trust him. I don't want to trust him. I want to hate him. 

"I will hate you the entire time." I whisper dangerously. 

"Deal." 

And his classic smirk stretches along his face. 




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