Camille Syanna

I closed my eyes and felt the water dripping all over my body. It hit my face with a cold, brutal splash, washing away my tears.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks became months. ZA still hadn't shown up. Sadness tore at my chest, thinking of the possibility he might never come back. And I still would hate him if he had decided he couldn't.

Every day it seemed like a routine. I woke up every morning and went to work, returning home eight hours later. I felt like I had set my body to function like a machine, resembling but never really living.

"Susunduin ka ba ni ZA mamaya?" Mom asked while we were having breakfast.

I shook my head and took a spoonful of oats, although I didn't feel like eating. The least I wanted to do was worry my parents. Kaya nga hindi ko rin masabi sa kanila na halos dalawang buwan ko nang hindi nakikita si ZA. There were days when I pretended to be sleeping over at ZA's, but I was really spending a couple of nights with Nisha and her family.

Nisha and Tristan welcomed their first child, Ethan, a few months ago. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a tad bit jealous of how she seemed to have everything in perspective.

"Matagal nang hindi pumapasyal dito si ZA. May problema ba?" Si Dad iyon. Now he was looking for him, samantalang before almost always niyang sinusungitan si ZA.

"He's just busy with work," I shrug, putting too many blueberries in my mouth at the same time. I didn't want to talk, so I needed them to stop asking way too many questions.

Lately, it had been particularly harder for me to survive because I was no longer living only for myself. Two weeks ago, I felt dizzy at the shop and threw up the whole morning. So I took my lunch break to go to the hospital and found out I was five weeks pregnant.

I hadn't told anyone yet because I didn't know what to feel about it. Besides, if there was anyone I should share the news with, it should be ZA. Since that afternoon, I have been trying to distract myself by overworking. I knew I was scared. Terrified, even. I saw how Nisha was with Ethan, and I didn't even know I could even be half the mother she was today. Plus, she had Tristan, while I could only rely on myself.

Just the thought of how my life would change in the next few months rendered me straight to my graveyard. I'd be huge, and though Prada now has maternity clothes, it would still be a massive change for me. My ankles would be chubby! And instead of flipping through Fendi catalogs, I'd be changing diapers!

I shook my head. Those weren't really the reasons I was scared. I didn't know how to do this alone, and it would be nice to share this experience with ZA.

"What are you doing here?" I smiled at Zanti when he entered the shop with a bucket full of doughnuts from the store across. "You were just here yesterday, ah? Need mo ulit ng flowers?"

He'd been frequenting my shop lately, always asking for different arrangements. Parang napuno na nga siguro ng flowers ang Mondragon General Hospital because of him. Zanti made all these effort for a woman who wouldn't bend to meet his needs. I hadn't met her, but I was already admiring her.

He nodded. "I know makukulitan ka sa'kin, kaya I brought a bribe."

"Oh, that's for me?" Kinuha ko agad iyon nang makalapit siya sa akin. I'd been eating too many sweets as part of my pregnancy. Sinusubukan ko iyong pigilan because I don't want to have a hard time losing weight once my pregnancy is over, but my baby isn't letting me. "Thank you,"

"Sure," he said before noticing the bag on my shoulder. "You're leaving early?"

It was only three in the afternoon, but I was craving for ice cream. Kaya naman I told Tina na I was leaving early since I'd been rendering overtime the past weeks. Tinanguan ko si Zanti. "Yes, I'm craving ice cream, eh? But don't worry. Tina will assist you naman with your order."

"Ice cream?" He cast me a skeptical look.

"What? I can't eat ice cream now?" My brows arched.

"Of course, you can. I was just surprised you eat ice cream,"

Yeah, because the Camille he knew wouldn't risk gaining weight for a fleeting pleasure a pint of ice cream could give. A moment on the lips, forever on the hips. I still wouldn't pa rin naman, but what could I do? I am pregnant, and the baby wants ice cream.

"Ocassionally," sabi ko na lang bago mag-shrug. "Thank you for the doughnuts!"

Tinalikuran ko na si Zanti. I was really excited na to eat ice cream kasi.

"Wait up," he tailed me and opened the door for me. "I'll go with you. Gusto ko rin ng ice cream, eh."

"Okay, near lang naman," I told him as we exited Floribunda. "There's a one-stop ice cream shop two blocks from here."

"I know," Zanti headed toward his black Bugatti. "Let's just use my car."

It reminded me that I needed to trade my pink Bugatti na. I didn't really enjoy driving it naman, binili ko lang iyon to match Zanti's, and now I was over it.

"Okay," he let me in first before rounding to the driver's seat. "Thank you for accompanying me,"

"Sure,"

I looked around Zanti's car. Dati, dream ko maisakay niya rito because I really liked him then. Everything from the interior was customized. Personalized to tailor fit his character. Zanti seemed a bit meticulous compared to ZA. He was also fancy and screamed money from head to foot. Maybe the one thing that drew me onto him before was because I could see a hint of me in him. Something that I never saw with ZA because we were the exact opposite of each other.

We reached the Swirl Station in less than ten minutes. Zanti picked the corner spot by the window and snatched a menu from an empty table. He handed it over to me.

"What's yours?"

"Hmm," I scanned through the menu, well aware of Zanti watching me. Maybe if this happened before, I would've been the happiest girl. But now, nah. It was just fun to experience how it felt like to be on a date with your ex-crush. Or was this even a date? "I'll have the chocolate orange with white chocolate chunks,"

He nodded and didn't even peek at the menu. I guess this wasn't his first time here. He called a waitress and ordered for the both of us. "Cinnamon toast in a cone for me and a chocolate orange with white chocolate chunks for the lady,"

I almost rolled my eyes when the girl stuttered in repeating our order. He has that power over women. I once had been cast that spell.

When the waitress left, Zanti turned in my direction. "So, what's shaking?"

"Nothing much," I shrugged, leaning against the red strawberry-shaped couch. "Do you want to tell me about the woman you'd been pursuing but couldn't really break?"

"Naw," he smirked, shaking his head.

"She's not into you, is she?" Kahit ayaw niyang pag-usapan, gusto ko. "I think I'm now finding common ground with you. Remember how I was once you on you!"

"God, you followed me at a pub in Massachusetts and announced to the crowd that you were my girlfriend." Natatawang sabi niya.

Yeah, I did that—one of the crazy nights I couldn't really blame on alcohol because I was stone-cold sober. I tried to find shame in hearing him tell that story but didn't find any. So, what if I was once his fanatic? At least I've outgrown him. "You knew that? I remembered you were at the John when I told everyone I'm a future Dela Paz."

"You snatched the microphone from a band," he pointed. "There were speakers everywhere. Of course, I'd hear it."

I laughed at my own stupidity. Never really thought I'd look back to it as a moment in my life where I was hilarious. "Okay, riddle me this. Were you ever annoyed by me?"

I always wanted to know that. God knows how much I force myself on him. And to add suspense to my question, our order came. We waited for the waitress to leave before munching our ice creams.

Zanti added colorful sprinkles to his order before he answered. "No,"

Oh, good that he wasn't. "Okay, so were you ever attracted to me?"

I took a spoonful of chocolate ice cream, not really caring if Zanti was watching me pig out.

"Until now, I've always thought of you as unreal. I didn't mean to offend, but you raised yourself to a standard that people looked at you and saw Barbie instead of Camille." He studied me with unwavering attention. "Was I ever attracted to you? Let's see. Do I think you're pretty? Yeah, that's a given. But did it ever cross my mind to make a move on you? Hardly."

And was I offended by his answer? Nope. Zanti was right. All my life, I'd been giving people a show, driving them to kill just to be me. I showed everyone only what I wanted them to see. I wanted them to see me as flawless. Only I wasn't. I covered the ugliest part of me and let them rot inside. But it stunk. It almost killed me had it not been for ZA. He redirected me. And now, he was gone.

"Chiara warned me right off the bat not to date you or Nisha," he said. Okay, this was the first time I heard this. "She said she only had two friends, and if I ever broke your heart, you would stop being friends with her. You know Chi is the most important girl for me. I'd jump off the cliff for that chick."

I smiled at the adoration in his voice. Another thing I loved about Zanti was how he treated Chiara. I wanted that, too. I grew up with no brothers or cousins to care for me the way he did for Chi. "So, you were telling me that if it hadn't been for Chi, you would've dated me?"

"Still no," he chuckled, licking the ice cream off the bottom of his lips. "You would've been too much for me. We'd clash. You were high-maintenance, and I wouldn't be able to keep up with you."

Now that I think of it, he was right. Zanti wouldn't be able to handle all my crazy. He wasn't cut for the likes of me. But ZA could. ZA would.

"How about Nisha?" I had to ask.

He shrugged, taking his time to answer as he ate. "Probably Nisha,"

I smiled at the idea that they could've been, but Nisha was now happily tied down to the best person for her. And I'd met Tristan one too many times. He was cool and fun. "Yeah, that's not happening now."

"And I'm relieved," he joked.

We talked about many things, and Zanti was more comfortable spending time with me now that he knew I wasn't out to haunt him and make him marry me. I didn't creep him out anymore. And I liked that we were friends now.

Almost two hours din kami nag-kwentuhan, we had a second round of ice cream pa nga, where we switched orders to find out which tasted best. We agreed that mine was better than his.

We were both laughing at one memory of a night in Boston where I tailed him on his date, sat at the next table, and watched him make a move to his conquest. Wow, I was a stalker! A cute but really creepy one. How come he never filed a restraining order from me?

It was slippery outside. Only then did we notice it rained a bit while we were inside? We were really caught up. Zanti held out his arm for support. I was wearing a pair of gold stilettos and wouldn't risk a slip.

"Thank you," I held onto his arm as we walked toward the parking space.

Zanti had already clicked his key when we heard someone clear throat.

We both turned in that direction. I almost jumped to my feet when I saw ZA leaning against his jeep. Oh, God. He came back.

"ZA!" I immediately beamed at him, but he wasn't as delighted to see me. His brows knitted as his eyes touched my hand on Zanti's arm. I slowly withdrew and turned to Zanti. "Thank you, but you don't need to drive me home. ZA will take care of me."

Zanti glanced over my shoulder before returning his gaze to me. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I told him.

"Okay, call me if you need anything." He responded, bending down to kiss me on the cheek. "Goodbye, Camsy."

"Drive safe," I said, watching him enter his car and giving ZA one final glance.

When I turned to ZA, he was staring closely at me. How long has it been since I last saw him? Seven? Eight weeks? God, I missed him. I could feel my throat closing up with emotions I was trying to hold down.

A few more minutes passed and none of us dared to speak.

Did he come back for me? Or was he just seeking for closure?

ZA pulled himself up and opened the door for me. "Get in,"

ANNOUNCEMENT:

VLADISLAV - ZA's POV, which covers the first and second-generation timeline, is open for pre-order. We have limited slots left. Please message us on Facebook to order: https://web.facebook.com/frapwpstories or https://web.facebook.com/frxppauchino/

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Book details: 6x9, perfect bind, 200 pages, cream paper, matte cover.

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