Camille Syanna

ZA parked out front of a healthcare center. May mga tent sa labas kung saan naroon ang mga nurse at medical staff. I was starting to have an idea why we were here.

Binitawan niya ang aking kamay na hawak niya sa buong byahe. ZA got out of the car and opened the backseat first. Napataas agad ang aking kilay. I caught Charlene grinning, nakita ko pa na i-re-reach nito sana yung hand ni ZA but he quickly turned his back on her.

Umikot si ZA sa side ko para ako naman ang pagbuksan ng pinto. He even offered me his hand, and I took it.

We were still holding hands when we followed Charlene to the infirmary. She was talking with other nurses and medics.

"She's a nurse," ZA said.

"I can see that," I shrugged and looked at him. "Doesn't matter if you hold my hand all day. I still don't like you better than I like Pongo."

"Yeah, keep convincing yourself." Ngisi niya bago kami lapitan ng isa sa mga doctor na naroon.

"Good morning," bati nito sa amin. "Thank you for volunteering to help us with this important event. We're just about to start. Marami na ang nakapila sa labas na inaasikaso nila Chairman."

"Good morning, Doc Henry." Ganting bati ni Charlene dito bago ipakilala si ZA. "Si ZA nga pala, kababata ko. ZA, si Henry, my friend from Med School."

Tumango lamang si ZA sa kanilang dalawa. I felt a little invisible for a moment, dahil talagang hindi ako pinakilala ni Charlene dito. Not that I was begging to be introduced, but that was the polite thing to do.

"I know you," the doctor said while staring at me. "You're Camille Syanna Velez,"

Naramdaman kong humigpit ang kapit ni ZA sa aking kamay kasabay ng saglit niyang paglingon sa akin. Ibinalik rin niyang agad ang atensyon sa lalaking nasa aming harapan.

"Yeah," I raised a brow. "But I don't think I know you,"

"You know her?" Si Charlene iyon na tila nagulat rin.

"Of course, I do." Ngumiti ito at naglakad papalapit sa akin. "She's a beauty queen,"

"Well, I wouldn't call myself that." I smiled back. I won two titles in national pageants, but didn't push through for international fame. I love the validation, but I just didn't feel it was my calling.

"It's a pleasure having you here," he stopped in front of me and offered a hand. "Henry Cortez, Ma'am."

"You don't have to call me Ma'am. I'm Camsy," I accepted his hand with my other hand dahil hindi pa rin pinapakawalan ni ZA ang kamay kong hawak niya.

The handshake was longer than usual kaya naman hinila ko nang pabalik ang aking kamay. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit, pero matalim ang tingin ni ZA sa aming mga kamay.

"I think the program is about to start," malamig niyang sabi bago ako pasimpleng hilain papalapit sa kanya.

ZA took me to where the other volunteers were. Kumuha siya ng dalawang surgical mask at iniabot sa akin ang isa. Akmang tatalikod na siya nang may mapansin sa akin.

Sinuot ko na ang mask na binigay niya kaya napakunot ang aking noo nang mapansin na he was staring at me. No. At my neck!

And then his hand went up to feel the side of my neck. The side where he kissed me last night!

I gasped when he started brushing a spot using his thumb.

"Hickey," he whispered.

"You didn't pack any of my makeups. I couldn't cover it. And it's so mainit to wear turtleneck tops."

"Hm," he smirked again. ZA didn't know he was making my heart flip every time he does that with his lips! "I rather people see it,"

"Really?" I rolled my eyes, trying to hide his growing effect on me!

"Let's go and do what we came here for," he guided me to the group of volunteers.

We helped the nurses and other medical personnel assist and serve the barangay people coming in. I helped distributing food and water to those who were waiting for their turn on the consultation table.

Si ZA naman ay nasa kabilang side, giving medicines na nireseta ng doctor after the consultation.

I caught him looking at me for a few times, but I wouldn't have caught him if I weren't also looking. So, call it even.

I looked around me and felt a little out of place. This wasn't a normal scene for me. The people who were here were either sick or very hungry. They'd all been dying for a piece of biscuits and sandwiches we were giving them. My heart squeezed in an unfamiliar way.

Napalingon ako nang may biglang kumapit sa aking kaliwang braso. An old lady struggling with her balance. I helped her stand up. "Manang, saan po kayo pupunta? Sasamahan ko na po kayo."

She couldn't walk straight, hindi naman ako Satan to just let her be, ano?

Tinuro niya ang lamesa na may mga food. Oh, she was hungry like everybody else.

Napansin ko ang malalang sugat sa paa nito. Iyon ang dahilan kung bakit hindi ito makalakad ng maayos. Mukhang wala rin itong kasama na pumunta rito.

Tinulumgan ko siyang maka-upo sa waiting area. I tried not to think of how gross the wound on her feet looked like because it might made me vomit.

"Dito na lang po kayo," sabi ko sa kanya. "I will get you
food."

Niyuko ko ang paa nito. I almost puke right at the moment nang makita ang sugat doon, halos lumabas na doon ang mga nana o ano pa man.

Tinulungan ko itong maupo. "Sandali lang po ako na ang kukuha ng pagkain ninyo."

I went to the table where I can get food. Sinalubong agad ako ni ZA. He handed me a packed lunch.

"Here, I know you're hungry. You haven't eaten yet," sabi niya. Sukat doon ko lang naalala na wala pa nga palang laman ang sikmura ko.

"Ah, yeah," kinuha ko iyon. "Thank you!"

May sasabihin pa sana siya ngunit naunahan ko na siyang talikuran. Binalikan ko si Manang na naghihintay pa rin sa akin.

I gave her the packed lunch from ZA. "Here po, you eat na."

Mabilis nito iyong tinanggap kaya naman napangiti ako. "Maraming salamat, Neng."

"Ano po ang pangalan niyo?" I asked.

"Ako si Ising," sagot niya. "Ikaw ba?"

"Camille po,"

"Kasing ganda mo ang pangalan mo, Neng." She smiled at me. Nanginginig pang bahagyanang mga kamay nito havang binubuksan ang iniabot kong food. "Kumain ka na ba? Halika, saluhan mo ako. Hati tayo."

"Ay, no na po!" Mabilis kong iling. "Thank you, po. Pero we have more food pa po there. Eat lang po kayo dyan."

She was very hungry. Yet, she didn't hesitate to offer me what little she had.

"Are you with someone po ba?" I asked, kumunot ang forehead niya so baka she didn't quite understand my question. Kaya inulit ko na lang. "May kasama po ba kayo?"

Hinintay ko itong matapos ngumuya bago makarinig ng sagot.

"Wala, Neng. Mag-isa lamang ako sa buhay,"

"Wala po kayong asawa or anak?" Tanong kong muli, gusto ko lamang itong kausapin dahil nakakaawa naman kung basta ko na lamang itong hahayaan.

Mapait itong ngumiti matapos ay umiling. "Hindi na ako nag-asawa nang iwan ako ng nakabuntis sa akin noong bata pa ako."

"May anak po kayo?"

She wasn't that old. Maybe a little older than my parents. I felt really sad for what she went through that led her into this.

"Nasaan po siya?"

"Wala na," malungkot nitong sabi. "Bata pa ako nang mabuntis. Katorse. Kaya nagpasya ang mga magulang ko na ipaampon ang anak ko noon. Hindi ko na siya nakita nang maampon siya ng isang pamilya sa Maynila. Huling balita ko'y dinala sa America ang anak ko at doon pinalaki."

"That's so sad," I sighed and looked down at her feet. "Ano po ang nangyari sa feet niyo?"

"Naipit noong isang linggo sa palengke. Nagtitinda kasi ako roon ng gulay," kwento nito. "Nagkaroon ng hulihan nang dumating ang mga pulis ay nagpulasan kaming mga illegal vendors. Natumba ako at napagaapakan."

"Oh, God!" I gasped in horror. "Napatignan niyo na po ba ito since last week?"

"Hindi," iling nito. "Wala naman akong sapat na pera para ipa-ospital pa ito. Kaya nga nag baka sakali na lang ako rito nang marinig ko ang tungkol sa medical mission na ito."

Ilang sandali pa kaming nagkwentuhan ni Manang Ising habang kumakain ito. Nang makita kong tapos na ito ay nagpaalam ako upang ikuha sana siya ng tubig ngunit bago pa man ako makaalis ay may gumawa na noon para sa akin.

Si ZA.

Had he been listening to us all this time?

"Nagugutom ka na?" Nilingon niya ako.

I shook my head. "Hindi pa naman,"

Itinaas niya ang kanyang kamay upang tawagin ang isang nurse at ipaasikaso na ang sugat ni Manang Ising.

ZA took my hand and guided me to the corner where boxes of medical supplies piled up. Inalis niya ang surgical mask ko at iniangat ang aking mukha, tila iniinspeksyon.

"Tell me what's wrong,"

"Nothing," I gulped when my voice almost croaked.

"Cams," he urged me.

"Nothing naman," I sighed and began to tear up. "I just felt bad for these people. They were lining up under the sun for free food and medicine. They don't have anything, ZA. They need help. And now I felt so guilty for every leftover food, expired goods and medicines I had. I was so locked up in my own world that I never thought of how bad the other side was suffering."

He watched as tears covered my face.

"You're starting to understand the whys,"

ZA pulled me in his arms and let me cry on his chest. I suddenly felt the comfort I needed most.

Hapon na at halos patapos na ang medical mission nang tawagin ni Charlene si ZA upang magpatulong sa pagbubuhat ng kung ano. Kaya naman naiwan akong mag-isa na nakaupo sa isang tabi. Unti-unti na rin kasing nabawasan ang mga dumadating ba pasyente.

"How was the experience?" Napalingon ako sa nagsalita.

Nakangiting naupo sa aking tabi si Henry.

"It was fulfilling," I answered.

"Totoo, yan din ang nararamdaman ko sa tuwing makakatapos ako ng isang medical mission." He shrugged. "Masaya sa kalooban na lahat sila'y uuwing may ngiti sa mga labi dahil may lunas na ang mga karamdaman nila."

"Yeah,"

"But I was still wondering what are you doing in this small town?" He asked another question. "You're Camille Syanna, this isn't your place."

If only I could tell him I was being kept here against my will, and he'd understand without further explanation. I rather not go through that effort. "Nothing. I just wanted to try something new."

"Oceanside, huh?" Henry smiled again. "Well, it was better here than in the city."

Napalingon kami nang padabog na isalansan ni ZA ang ibang medical equipment na ginamit kanina sa isang tabi katulong ang ilang mga nurse.

I frowned nang matalim niya akong sulyapan. Ha? What did I do na naman ba? He was nice naman kanina, ah!

Napapitlag ako nang maramdaman ang kamay ni Henry sa aking leeg. Agad akong napasimangot rito.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he apologized.

"You should be," I told him. "You weren't supposed to just touch someone else's neck, face, and anything that would make you invade their personal space."

Bahagya akong lumayo rito. I'm not galit naman. Inis lang.

"Pasensya na," ulit nitong paghinginng tawad. "Hindi ko napigilan hawakan dahil iniisip ko kung ano ang nangyari dyan."

"I appreciate your concern," I told him. "But it was none of your business."

C'mon! Had he not seen a hickey before? I almost rolled my eyes. Nabalingan ko si ZA na pabalik na sa amin.

Thank God!

"Uuwi na tayo," anunsyo niya.

Sabay kaming tumayo ni Henry. Isang beses pa itong muling humingi ng tawad at nagpasalamat. "Sorry again, Camsy. And thank you for participating in this mission."

"Anything we can do to help," I smiled politely. "Thank you for having us too."

Hindi umimik si ZA, nanatili lamang siyang nakamasid sa akin. Ako naman ay medyo confuse cause parang galit na naman siya sa akin.

"Sana'y hindi ito ang una at huling pagkakataon na makikita kita sa mga medical drive na ganito," pahabol pa ni Henry.

Hindi ako makasagot dahil abala akong makipagtitigan kay ZA. Ewan ko kasi bakit parang mad na mad na naman siya sa akin! Eh, I didn't do anything wrong naman!

"Henry, mauuna na kami. May kailangan pa daw kasing gawin itong si ZA, eh." Napataas ang kilay ko nang makita ang pag-ankla ng braso ni Charlene sa braso ni ZA.

At hindi man lamang niya iyon inalis?!

Kusang naningkit ang aking mga mata habang nakatitig sa kanya. I rolled my eyes and turned to Henry.

"Thank you for the experience," I smiled sweetly, maybe a little too much.

"Tss," ingos ni ZA bago kumawala sa kapit ni Charlene at magpatiuna sa pinagpaparadahan ng kanyang sasakyan.

Nakita kong maging si Charlene ay nabigla sa ginawa nito.

I followed him. Ganoon rin sana ang gagawin ni Charlene ngunit may tumawag sa kanya.

Naabutan ko si ZA na padabog na sumakay sa loob ng jeep.

"Anong problema mo?" Tanong ko nang makasakay na rin ako.

Hindi siya umimik, sa halip ay hinubad niya ang kanyang shirt at binuksan ang bintana upang magsindi ng sigarilyo.

Ilang sandali ko siyang tahimik na pinanuod habang walang habas nitong hinihithit ang sigarilyong sinindihan.

"I don't know why galit ka na naman sa akin. May ginawa ba ako?"

"Wala,"

"Eh, why are you acting like that?" Medyo inis na rin ako sa kanya. "Put your shirt back,"

Mula sa side mirror ng sasakyan ay nakita ko si Charlene na pabalik na.

Hindi siya tumalima. Sa halip ay pinaandar niya na ang sasakyan at nagsimula ng magmaneho paalis.

"Hoy si Charlene iniwan mo!" I told him.

Pinitik niya sa malapit na basurahan ang sigarilyo bago isara ang bintana.

He wasn't speaking, but I could feel the tension intensify inside the car hanggang sa makauwi kami.

"ZA kung may problema ka sa akin, sabihin mo!" Hindi ko na naiwasan pang hindi magtaas ng tinig. Hinarap ko siya nang makababa kami ng sasakyan. "Hindi 'yung mukha akong tanga kakaisip sa kung ano ang dahilan bakit ka nagkakaganyan. What did I do th-"

Napahinto ako nang lingunin niya ako. His eyes were greener with emotions I couldn't name. And the he started speaking in a voice that I could barely hear. "Ilang marka pa ba ang kailangan kong ilagay sa'yo para malinaw na sa akin ka?"