I took him to bed. Massaged his leg. Kissed him when he needed the love. He didn't say much but he turned on the radio to silence the silence. It was nice, listening to the soft jazzy tunes they'd always play at night. It had become a ritual of ours, to listen to slow jazz before bed. It wouldn't be too loud because Àlvar would already be asleep, but we had quickly found out, he was almost impossible to wake once he had fallen asleep at night.

A tear unhooked itself from Islo's eye and for once he didn't wipe it away. He just sat there and stared at my hands, working on his thigh.

"It's going to be good, this thigh. I can feel it," I said, not sure if he wanted to talk about him crying or not. He had never cried in front of me before.

"It's not," he muttered and sniffled. "It's going to be like this always." Tears were now streaming down his cheeks. "I feel so inadequate."

"Islo," I said softly and leaned forward, taking his face in my hands. I softly kissed him and held him. I didn't know what to say, so just holding him while he, for the first time since all of this ugliness had entered our lives, cried was all I could do. And he held me back, his fingers digging into my back, as if he were afraid, I'd disappear if he didn't hold onto me with force.

I moved so I was on my back and Islo in my arms. He didn't stop crying either. He wasn't even an ugly crier like me. His eyes were just wide as the tears flowed down and ran over the bridge of his nose, dripping down on my chest. He'd occasionally sniffle too. But he wasn't sobbing. Which only made this even more heart breaking. I was afraid he was breaking.

"I love you," I murmured after a while.

He pressed his face to my chest, his body jerking hard.

"It's alright, Islo. Everything will be alright. Just wait and see," I said softly.

He didn't respond, he just kept his face smooshed against my chest.

"One day, we'll sit as old men, reminiscing about our life together. We will have grandchildren playing at our heels. And we'll be happy. We'll look back on this time as a victory. We endured despite the ugly things that has happened to us. We didn't faulter. We didn't give up. We were strong."

He nodded a bit and sniffled again, looking up at me. "You promise?"

"I promise. And we'll be together, as we've been together through all of this."

He nodded a bit and then lifted up, drying his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Please don't apologise. You don't have to with me. You are safe here." I lifted up and kissed him, softly pressing my lips to his. He exhaled loudly, hot air hitting my top lip.

He pulled back and nodded a bit. "Alright. No apologies."

"That's the spirit," I murmured and kissed him again. I softly ran my thumbs over his cheeks, drying them. "My beautiful husband. I love you so much."

He dipped down and kissed me again before he laid back down on my chest. "Are you alright after everything with Dreki?"

"I could not possibly care less what he thinks of me. If he wants to believe I'm a slut, I don't care. His opinions are useless to me."

"My strong, beautiful king," he murmured and placed a soft kiss on my skin. "I still think it was a genius idea to say Barr is your lover."

I snorted. "Sometimes I can think fast on my feet."

"Yes, and that was extraordinary."

"You don't feel bad about it though?"

"Are you kidding? No. If it had been anyone but Barr, I might've been more conflicted. But he's your spirit. Isn't it some sort of incest if you became intimate?" He cringed a little.

I chuckled and nodded. "He does feel like a sort of a brother to me. But not in the same sense as Àlvar did. Or Alvina. It's like another type of sibling. One that knows a whole other side of me. He knows something within me that I don't fully know myself. I don't know if that makes sense."

"No, it makes perfect sense. He knows your spiritual heritage and personality. It's a whole side of you, I will never understand fully. He will know how it feels to use the powers you share."

"Exactly," I said a little hesitantly, hoping this wasn't going to turn into Islo saying he envied Barr.

"And I'm so happy you have someone like that. Who can be there for you like that when I can't." He kissed my forehead and smiled. "We have been fortunate with Barr. The kids like him as well."

I nodded. "He's very good with them."

"He is. And he's great with you." He kissed my cheek this time.

"So are you," I breathed, closing my eyes as he kissed my throat.

"Oh, am I?"

"Yeah." I opened my eyes again, looking up at him. "You've always been there for me, Islo. Even when you didn't really have to, you were there. You supported me, washed the blood off my skin. Helped me up when I fell. I will always love you for that. You might not understand my spiritual side, but you know all the others. Even the ones I might've not wanted you to know as much as you do. You've seen me at my weakest, but you stayed by my side."

"As you've now stayed by mine. We didn't owe this to each other though. We both did it because we wanted to, aye?"

"Yeah. Definitely."

He smiled and lowered himself again, kissing me so softly.

We had been pushing the stroller around the garden when we returned to the apartment only find Dreki and some of his guards there. He was pacing back and forth as we sat on the sofa, waiting for him to finally get to a point. Or say something.

"You know what I find extremely weird?" he said and stopped in front of us. "Aki Helsingfoss just disappeared, didn't he?"

Ice filled my veins. I hadn't heard his name uttered from anyone but myself for so long. Islo and I didn't say his name anymore. If I had nightmares about him we just referred to him as... Nothing. Used pronouns for him instead. It was as if his name was cursed and if anyone said it out loud, I was afraid he'd appear with maggots eating through his face and eyes, like he did in my nightmares.

"I-I don't know," I stuttered.

"It was just awfully convenient for you, wasn't it? How he just magically disappeared." Dreki narrowed his eyes at me and I didn't dare look away. I held his gaze as my heart was about to beat its way out of my chest.

"He was a drunk. He could've fallen into the harbour for all we know," Islo said coolly. "Many do. All the time."

"Sure, they do. But it's awfully convenient for you isn't it? Considering he beat the shit out of you and then disappears. Without a trace too." He chuckled a bit and spread his arms out to the sides. "But I guess that's your luck, isn't it?"

"If you think I'm sad he disappeared, you're mad," I said through my clenched teeth.

Before I could properly get what was happening, he was in my face, his hand around my throat and his guards had grabbed Islo, pulling him out of the sofa and forcing him down to his knees on the floor.

"Tell me, where he is, Quinn," Dreki said slowly.

"I don't know," I gasped, wanting to claw his hand off my throat but not daring. I was afraid of what they'd do to Islo.

"You're a bad liar, Quinn, I've told you that before." He looked up and gave his guards a nod. One lifted his leg and stomped his booted foot down on Islo's thigh.

It looked as if all air left my husband and he doubled over, the guards letting go of his arms. He didn't utter a single sound besides panting loudly.

"What happened to Aki?" Dreki asked, getting me to look at him again.

"I don't know!" I growled back.

"What happened to Aki?!" he roared in my face.

"I DON'T KNOW!" I screamed back and clenched my eyes shut.

The pressure on my throat stopped and I could properly breathe again. Dreki had been pushed back. I had accidentally used my powers on him.

His eyes almost bulged out of his head as I rose to my feet. I felt blood trickle down my lips and chin, knowing I had gotten another nosebleed, but I didn't even care.

"Leave. Before I truly lose control," I said with a voice I didn't even recognise. It was far too cold and relaxed.

Dreki glanced to his guards who had backed off from Islo completely. Cries could be heard from the bedroom. Àlvar must've woken up.

"Go get your kid," Dreki said and nodded towards the bedroom. "We're not done here."

He jerked his head at the guards, and they left the apartment. I quickly went to Islo and got him back up on the sofa.

"I'm so sorry," I said frantically and then left to get the small boy. I also grabbed Islo's pills and handed them to him as I went to get Àbram to get Àlvar a bottle.

Everything was done automatically. I didn't think as I bounced the boy a bit, calming him down and then feeding him. I didn't even think when also got my husband a drink. All sounds were muted, and I wasn't at all thinking. My head was blank. I was just existing.

I didn't really realise anything had happened before Islo took Àlvar from me, put him in his crib and hugged me close.

"Quinn," he murmured very softly and ran his hand over my hair. "I'm fine, alright? You're fine too. So is Àlvar. You protected us."

I didn't say anything back, I just sat there, staring down at the floor. Seeing blood spread over the tiles. I could hear Aki make those really weird sounds. I could feel his skull crushing under the candlestick. I was back there, and I couldn't leave.

Some time must've gone by because my back was aching. I was sitting on the sofa, just staring. I could register the pain in my back, but not really anything else.

"Quinn," someone said softly.

I blinked in response.

"It is time to leave that place."

Memories flooded my mind. Memories of Al. Of Islo smiling. Of Àlvar when I held him for the first time. It was so soothing. There was no Aki here. There was only love.

I blinked and looked up into Barr's eyes. He smiled softly, giving my hands a squeeze.

"It is alright to hurt, Quinn. But you cannot live in that pain. It is not a good place to go to."

"I know," I whispered. "But I can't help it."

"That is alright. I will help guide you back to this realm."

I nodded and dried my eyes. "Thank you."

"I am always here for you." He rose from his position in front of me, having been kneeling on the floor. "Now go to your husband and child. They need you and you need them."

I slowly opened the door, finding Islo sitting on the bed with Àlvar in his arms. He looked up at me with wide eyes.

"Quinn," he breathed, and it looked like he wanted to come to me, but getting up was a hassle, he didn't need to go through.

"I'm here," I said and joined him on the bed. "I'm sorry I disappeared again."

He leaned in resting his forehead on my shoulder. "No, I'm sorry I couldn't pull you out this time."

"It's not your job to pull me out, Islo. It never will be. You already do so much for me, but this is not your responsibility, my love."

"I know but..." He didn't finish that sentence. We left it at that.

We moved further into the bed, observing our son play with his soft cloth. He laughed and kept kicking his little legs, stuffing the cloth in his mouth as he made cute baby sounds. It was a very blissful moment and I allowed myself to enjoy it. For just a moment, there was nothing but my husband right next to me, and our son playing on our bed.

"We've done nothing but watch him for two hours," Islo said and chuckled.

"I don't mind," I murmured and handed Àlvar his cloth when he had accidentally thrown it.

He turned and smiled up at us, crawling up to Islo, begging to be held. Islo lifted the boy up and settled him against his chest.

"Sweet boy," he murmured and kissed his head, inhaling in the process. "Look at him, crawling and turning already."

"He's magnificent and simply the best little baby to have ever existed, I'm sure."

"Well, naturally. When fathers like us, it's to be expected."

I couldn't help but laugh. I turned and leaned my cheek against the pillows, running my hand over the small boy's head. He had so much hair already too and it was turning out to be just as curly as mine.

"He's so sweet, isn't he?"

"The sweetest."

"We're so very fortunate to have him. Imagine how our lives would be without him. I can't even really remember how it was before he got here."

"To be honest, me neither. It's like he has always been here." Islo sighed a bit and looked down at the boy, only to find him asleep. "Just look at him now. He comes to me and then falls asleep. He trusts me." Islo's eyes were shining and this meant so much to him. This little boy actively chose him as his father just as Islo had chosen him as his son. They didn't need the biological bond. Àlvar needed the man who showed up for him, bathed him, changed him and fed him. Played with him. Loved him. That's all that mattered to this small boy.