'Been waiting for a lifetime for you

Been breaking for a lifetime for you

Wasn't looking for love till I found you

Oh, na-na, yeah

For love, till I found you, oh'

"Get out of the fucking way! My girlfriend's about to have a baby!"

Finally, we didn't need a gun to make the way. We were scary enough between the two of us – three, if we counted the little badass rearranging my guts, though people didn't seem to notice much my large baby bump as they scampered away.

For those who didn't avert their gaze at the sharpness of Blade's killer tone and my groans, their wide eyes were either on my mess of curls, or if they dared, on the tall and dark man with a leather jacket, stained pants, and a disheveled quiff by my side.

We weren't really 'ordinary', and it brought back some memories when we stepped into the maternity ward. Even if the large entrance and its pale blue walls looked nothing like a grungy diner, all heads still turned to us: the two receptionists at the front desk, another pregnant woman who seemed more doubled over than me, and two familiar pairs of dark eyes.

"DD!"

"I'll go ask for a midwife." Blade kissed my cheek, rushing to the front desk as soon as Spencer and Angel joined me, still hand in hand.

Maybe their well-deserved happy ending would come even before the baby.

"How are you feeling?"

"Um, like I'm about to have a baby?" I replied with the only answer I'd come up to describe the mess going through my insides, quickly focusing on something else to distract myself. "And you, how are you already there?"

"We've just arrived," Angel explained, although my eyes stayed as large as I did the calculations.

Their drive had been supposed to be twice as long as Blade and I's, which we'd made way past the speed limit, so it was almost impossible, unless...

"You know your mom." Spencer offered me a small knowing smile, easily reading my widening gaze. "But don't worry. She isn't here. She has to tell the rest of the town first."

"Then, we better hurry up!" I glanced down at my belly, and a new contraction arose at the same time, as if the little badass could understand the urgency.

Everyone could surely feel it in the air, as Blade rushed back with a wheeled bed. "They're preparing the room. Let's go."

I didn't get to ask where he'd found the stretcher, nor if he had the right to take it.

Actually, I didn't even get to say anything as he lifted me onto the bed, and I could only catch a glimpse of Spencer asking Angel to wait here – well, 'if she wanted, he would've liked' – before I was pushed down the hallway, past the speed limit again, a 'good luck, Dorothy' from Angel following us as we headed towards the room, where I would indeed need a lot of luck.

No, in fact, I realized I needed the luck before even entering the room as a tall woman with a white apron and cap was standing in front of the door.

"Mrs. Dorothea Duncan? Miss Morgan isn't here today, so I'll be your midwife."

I wasn't sure we could call it an instinct, but the sound of my full name still rarely announced anything good, and a bad feeling was twisting my stomach more than the contractions when she turned to Blade.

"Mr. Duncan, you can leave. We'll call you when the baby is here. Don't worry, we'll take good care of her."

My instincts were always right... The woman might have put her nicest smile on her wrinkled features, yet it didn't smoothen her words, and if I swallowed them harshly, I knew the last sentence wouldn't pass in Blade's throat.

"It's Mr. Sayer, and I'm not leaving Dorothy's side."

"It's the rules, Mister."

Wrong sentence again. I had to intervene.

"We know but–"

"Mrs, stay laying." She pushed me back down before I could sit up, her white cap looking even more imposing from up close, though maybe it was just because her smile was wearing off.

Anyway, it was nothing in comparison with the sharp angles of Blade's jaw, which I was front row to see, as he was above me. I could even glimpse the curse words he was trying really hard – really, really hard – to keep locked there.

"I don't care about your... rules, and–"

"You're here, finally! Where's Miss Morgan?" Spencer arrived right in time, thankfully – or not, seeing the woman's pinched lips.

"As I said, she can't be here today, so I'm replacing her. Now, if you may leave me to do my job, Mr. Duncan?"

Oww, this woman had a death wish, and she was lucky my evil genie hadn't taken the gun; otherwise, we would have had another murder to get away from.

Although he could still do so much worse with the knife in his pocket, its blade almost as sharp as the line of his jaw as he seethed,

"Mr. Colt, and as I said, we're not leaving. You can totally do your job with us here."

"What he means is that we won't interfere with your job. We promise. We just want to be here to hold Dorothy's hand," Spencer quickly added, and as always I could count on him to save the day with his beautiful words.

That was how our trio worked. I made the mess. Blade used violence or illegal tricks to get us out, and Spencer used his words to get away with it. We each had our weapons and strengths. It had been like that when I'd taken a life, and it couldn't be any other way when I would deliver a life. I needed them, which Spencer was explaining with smoother words, of course.

"We've agreed of it with Miss Morgan because it's really important for Dorothy, and she's already been through a lot. We're just asking for this, please."

"I understand, but I'm not Miss Morgan."

Sadly we could notice it, and not only because of the deep wrinkles around her severe eyes. Her crossed arms were also so different from the younger midwife's compassionate nods at my last appointment, and the woman in front of us didn't seem sensitive to progressive ideas, or to Spencer's charms.

"And if men aren't allowed, it's for a reason."

"Oh yeah? What reason? Pantywaist fuckers that would piss themselves, so they'd rather leave their woman when times get hard?" Blade managed to make her uncross her arms finally, even if it was to put her hand over her chest as he continued, "What's in there? Blood, sweat, and cunt juices? That's nothing I haven't seen before."

"Really, Blade?! What a flowery image! Can't you just let me talk?" Spencer gasped, more out of exasperation than shock, as he was now used to Blade's sharp words.

Yet most people weren't, and the midwife's eyes were about to fall out of their sockets as he retorted,

"We don't have time for your 'flowery' language. The baby can come out at any fucking moment!"

His arguments were sensible and sharp, especially as the little badass inside me seemed to support them, and I was starting to think I would give birth in this hallway with both of them by my side, fighting, a midwife that would be useless if she fell unconscious on the floor, and about ten pairs of curious eyes peeking out from the doors around.

"We have to beg to come in here like our dicks weren't there to make the baby!"

"And you think you'll get in that way? You'll only get us kicked out! Is that what you want?" Spencer's gaze narrowed at Blade, whose tense shoulders spun towards him until they were facing each other, and their too-familiar stances brought back unwanted memories

As fast as that night nine months ago, a shiver ran down my spine, and as loud, I shouted,

"Enough!"

Enough of their useless fights, enough of the midwife's judging stare towards two of the most important people in my life, enough of that stiff mattress that was extending the contractions until my thighs.

I had enough, and I was about to explode – figuratively or literally, it wasn't decided as I sat up, clutching my stomach.

"Please, can you do one little exception? That's all I'm asking."

I didn't even try my puppy eyes, and I had no idea how, but I somewhat convinced her as she stepped away from the door after a too-long second.

"If it can make them shut up, then fine. But..." She lifted her index finger before I could breathe. "It's not a station platform here, so only the father."

"Um..."

Both Spencer and Blade were already pushing my bed through the door, and as I passed by her gaping face, I offered her a sheepish smile.

"We don't know."

"Oh holy... father!"

She repeated that a lot, almost as much as Blade used the word 'fuck' and Spencer, 'breathe', in the hours following.

Seven endless hours, exactly, and they even made me regret my time at the police station. I hadn't sweated as much in the interrogation room, nor had I felt that much pressure on my insides.

But here, I wasn't alone, Blade and Spencer staying by my side every second, and it was all worth it when I heard the first cry of that little voice.

The wait, the sweat, the pain – in my aching guts and in Spencer's and Blade's crushed hands – the blood, the rest of the universe, everything vanished when Gertrude, the midwife whose name I'd learned during those long hours, announced,

"Congratulations! It's a girl, and now you know who's the father."

Indeed, there was no possible doubt when Gertrude finally put this tiny being in my hands. All wrapped in a white sheet, the first thing I saw was her eyes, and more than the color, it was the way they reached through my chest... Like a trail of powder that set the bangs of my heart.

When I looked up at the man on my left, it felt like fireworks going off inside my ribcage with all the sparks and bangs, a firework in another galaxy.

"Hi, little badass," Blade whispered, his voice soft and raspy as his gaze met hers.

Crystalline meeting crystalline. It was the exact same shade, the same depths, and even the same gleaming on the surface, as her cries calmed with my gentle rocking, and she blinked at us, Blade, me, and Spencer.

In this burst of happiness, I couldn't forget my best friend, and my heart slowed down as I risked a glance in his direction, like preparing for the crash and the shadows of disappointment I would find in his chocolate eyes.

Yet it was only for my heart to soar higher when I found him brushing the tiny rosy toes peeking out of the cloth before covering them carefully.

No matter what, he would always be there for her, as her godfather. That was the promise shining in his brown eyes, along with a knowing smile as he crossed my gaze, and I didn't glimpse any shade of disappointment, only amber brighter than ever as we turned to the little badass, who was already kicking her feet out of the blanket again.

"That's my daughter. You want to run already?"

I took her gurgling sound as a 'yes' as she stopped and now focused on bringing her little fist to her mouth. Yes, definitely my daughter.

"She even has your hair," Blade noted, caressing the sticky strands on her head.

"Yes, red and messy like Mommy." I grinned, awestruck by every little detail of her: her soft cheeks I kissed again and again, her minuscule nose lifting as she gazed at us, her blue eyes twinkling at us, even as they grew progressively heavy, her adorable yawns, the fast thuds of her heart racing against mine, and just the fact that she was here.

I didn't know how long the three of us stayed lost in adoration of her, dazzled by our little star, but it could have been forever, and I wouldn't have minded.

Gertrude, however, was minding, and she was there to bring us back down to earth.

"Come on, I need this room for other deliveries after, and it's time for the mother to rest and wash while we take care of the baby."

Of course, it was the rules... and with all the exceptions we'd already asked for, we couldn't wish for more, could we?

"Unless the father wants to do it?"

That wasn't in the protocol, and our three gazes snapped towards her to make sure it was still the same midwife, although it was Blade's eyes that were the widest as he glanced from right to left like he was struck with this realization.

"Me?"

"Yes, you wanted to be there, didn't you?" Okay, Gertrude was enjoying a little revenge, and she thought the cart of baby supplies would scare him away.

But she didn't know whom she was talking to. While I knew, and with a reassuring nod, I handed him the precious life we'd created together and watched him take her in his arms with the utmost care.

Well, I watched them the best I could through the blur, as all the emotions of this day rushed behind my eyes, and the dam of tears, good tears, soon broke.

What was the final straw, though? I wasn't sure. Maybe the sharp contrast between the blank stare inked in my memories from when he'd told me he didn't how to take care of another life and the sparkle lighting in his eyes when I kissed our daughter's forehead and murmured that Daddy would take good care of her? The way her head rested perfectly over his heart? Or her tiny hand naturally wrapping around one tattooed finger?

No, it was when, with both his hands full, he nodded his chin to Spencer and asked, "Can you help me?"

We'd come such a long way, and the journey was just starting for all of us: the little badass, Blade and me, Spencer and Angel, whom he called in even if it was against the rules, and our big family that joined as soon as we were settled in a new room.

Once again, an exception was made, as it was far past the visiting hours, but no one dared to defy a sheriff's request, and even less my mom and her interrogations.

"Where's my grandchild?" she asked as soon as she walked in, followed in tow by Pete, Nellie, Raymond, my dad, their many gifts, and the implicit questions in their curious eyes.

Who? What? How?

"Your granddaughter is fine in her dad's arms." I smiled as, one by one, their gazes slid to Blade, cradling her on a chair on the other side, and the answers hit them.

First, Raymond, who, as the best sheriff, was the quickest to put the puzzle pieces together and congratulated us, before adding in my ear, "Thanks to your instincts, I won against Dale who's bet it would be a boy."

Then, Pete and Nellie didn't take long to both hug me too and rush to see their granddaughter from closer.

Finally, it was my dad who kissed my forehead. "And what's her name?"

"Stella," Blade, Spencer, and I announced in unison the name we'd thought of during a starry night back at Grandpa's cabin.

"Because she's our little star."

"Stella Sayer... It doesn't start with a D."

Indeed, and the crease forming between my dad's eyebrows had been the reason why I'd hesitated so much before meeting her.

At first sight, I'd known, though. She was Stella Sayer.

"But I like it, and it's still in the Duncans' tradition of matching initials in some way."

Was it an approval of her name and of Blade's last name in the family? At least, it was progress. The proud glint in my dad's hazel eyes was progress. Just the fact he was there was progress, and he would surely pull out one of his work folders in a few minutes. But still, he was making a lot of progress and efforts since the Thanksgiving discussion we'd had.

Now, in all of this, only my mom hadn't uttered a word, which didn't resemble her.

Her pale gaze kept flickering between Stella and Blade as if it could scan their genetics, or maybe she was only hesitating on what to feel?

Even if she'd been convinced she would have another grandson, I knew she was ecstatic at the thought of pink layettes to knit. However, she'd also been trying to persuade herself that Spencer would be the dad, and I would 'come back to my senses', or that Blade would run off.

So seeing him holding her granddaughter like his most prized possession must have been a shock, and especially when he lifted his blue eyes to her.

"Do you want to hold her?"

My own heart stopped at this instant, and I could notice it as the whole room went silent, everyone holding their breath at the out-of-this-world scene: Blade and my mom facing each other, and the flat line of her pinched lips twitching into a... smile as he carefully put Stella in her arms.

It might have been faint, but it was a sign that she was starting to appreciate him. At this pace, she would call him 'son' before Stella would walk.

I could wish, and seeing her blissful smile as she babbled at Stella, preaching how pretty she was, I believed it was possible.

Our daughter could do the impossible.

With these eyes, she would pierce through any heart, even a heart of stone, and I wasn't saying that as a subjective, euphoric mom. No, it was a spark deep in my guts, which only grew stronger when Blade joined me on the bed, and I softly pecked his lips.

"Thank you."

I knew how hard it was for him to let go of Stella, just by the way his piercing gaze kept trailing sideway there, and with how my mom had treated him so far, he had no reason to be nice. It wasn't in his habits to be nice. But he was doing it for me and Stella, and also for Pete who had not so discreetly nudged him, as always.

Where we would have been without that old man and his wise encouragements? Where would we have been without all these people here?

As I leaned into Blade's loving embrace and whispers, I grinned at our unique family, my hooded eyes traveling to the circle that had formed around our little badass, but also to the window where we could glimpse the starry night sky, brighter than ever, before coming back to the door, when my sister turned up in there, breathless.

"I'm sorry, I'm late. I was held back at work."

I didn't remember seeing the Wednesdays on the schedule of cooking lessons she had sent for me to enroll in, but I didn't raise. She already had so much to handle between her new life as a divorced mom and cooking lessons entrepreneur, and she was doing it with so much grace. Even the lipstick mark on her scarf looked perfect with her smile.

"Where's my nephew?"

"Your niece, and you scared her," my mom tutted as Stella's cries filled the room instantly.

For someone so tiny, she already had so much power in her voice. Power to leave everyone disconcerted, including my mom who rushed to put her back in my extended arms. Power to strike the dangerous and always unaffected Blade Sayer with panic as he checked her forehead and tiny clenched fists to see if she was cold or hot.

But the most tremendous power she had was over me, as her high-pitched cries reached deep inside me and reawakened a dangerous shiver there.

"Shh, Mommy is here for you... always."

Seeing her reddening face contorted in displeasure, I realized I would never let anyone hurt her.

I could kill for her. I had already.

She had been with me that night I'd killed Douglas Thornton, and I wasn't sure if I would have still pulled the trigger without her. But as I cradled her close to my heart, I knew I would go through this whole journey of mistakes, heartaches, love, dangers, discoveries, and growth that had led me to have this gun in my hand, if it was to end up with this precious life in my arms.

"Always."

THE END

Here we are... I can't believe it! 😭😭 I always say that for every book, but each time, it seems harder to let go, kinda like the end of a love story, the end of a journey that has been longer than expected but still too short. 😭😭

Who's crying with me? 🤧🤧

As Dorothy said, I would go through this journey all over again.

First, for you, my little readers, my Shooting stars🌠💕 I wouldn't have made it without your constant support and love.

I know we're far from the millions of reads of some other books, but for me, it means the world already: each little comment, vote, feedback, and even reads for the shy, silent readers, who by the way, don't have to be shy with me (You can shine and drop a 🌠 in the comments for all the introverts!).

Anyway, I wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart for supporting and accepting me as I am, as I write.

You're the best!!!! ✨✨

I also want to thank my characters – is that weird? 🤔 Maybe, but over this one year and a half, they have become my best friends, my babies whom I'm not ready to let go, and they have brought me so much joy and lessons.

Each book I write helps me grow as a writer and a person, and this one taught me it's okay to be messy and imperfect. You can still shine like a shooting star.

It has also allowed me to explore my evil genie side with Blade, and I must admit his POVs will always be my favorite 😈.

Whether it's Blade's sharp confidence, Spencer's beautiful words, or Dorothy's messy instincts, I hope you'll also take a little of them with you, and they can inspire you.

Now, I think it's the moment I stop rambling and go pick up more tissues. 🤧🤧🤧

But before I go, I have 2 important things to announce.

FIRST, you better stay on the lookout and keep this book in your libraries/reading lists because Dorothy, Blade, and Spencer haven't said their last words, and as I promised, there will be BONUS CHAPTERS coming!! 😉

SECOND, the end of a journey means the start of a new one, and I'm excited to start a NEW STORY and meet new characters! It will be different from Gun In My Hand, but as you may already know, all my books are 100% romance 😍. So get ready for a new unique love story, and don't forget to follow me here and on Insta (link in my bio) for hints and teasers. 👀

In the meantime, I love you my little Shooting stars!!! Keep being messy, keep shining, and trust your instincts! 🌠💕😘✨

PS: I need all your thoughts about this epilogue and the little badass Stella Sayer!! 🤩

PPS: The part where men aren't allowed in the labor room is true, and that was how it worked in the 1960s. Just like the fact moms weren't allowed to see their babies outside defined hours. As Blade said, it's f***ing stupid and unfair, and Dorothy is lucky, her men would break all the rules for her and Stella! 😉