'Blood on my hands, what's done is done

Left you by the road with the crows in the dust

Heart so hollow deep as a cave

One day I'll be dancing on your grave'

No, it wasn't possible. I was dreaming, one of those nightmares that always woke me up in drenched sheets with sourness rising up my stomach.

Yet even if I could taste the bile in the back of my throat, I wasn't waking up, and I pinched the back of my hand until drawing blood for the same dark eyes to still be staring back at me, a dark almost black, impossible to read but emanating nothing good.

It wasn't Kenneth's eyes; it wasn't Mr. Thornton Senior's. It was Douglas's eyes, the bulb of his nose, his hidden smile, and even that light arch of his eyebrow.

"Attention, team!"

I was pulled out of my stupor by a voice that confirmed I wasn't dreaming, or else, I would have woken up at the nails-on-a-chalkboard sound of Diane's cheers.

"Today is our last performance all together. So you better give your 1,000% and focus."

I could barely listen to what she was saying, as my gaze and each of my nerves were always flickering back to that gaze hovering like the dark clouds were announcing a coming storm.

"And even more since our school is honoring the late Douglas. That's why I also decided, with the mayor and the principal's approvals, that we will perform in front of his picture, so he can be here with us."

What a sweet and delicate touch. Diane had turned the only thing I was looking forward to into a nightmare, and now, I had nothing to distract myself from the reality, as even the graduation ceremony next week would have a bitter-sweet taste.

However, for once, Diane looked genuine, not hint of her usual barbs or disdainful twitches of the lips as she was too busy smiling proudly at the picture – a 10x10 feet picture, larger-than-life, and the gloomy clouds racing behind were making it even more imposing. The Thorntons would surely be touched, and it was easy to guess it was all funded by the mayor, since it would be a subtle reminder of his electoral presence, as my dad would say.

But for me, the reminder was more sinister. It seemed I would never forget with the statue that would be raised in his honor, the constant news – even some national, thanks to my dad's excellent work – the daily gossips, the police interrogations... I was cornered on every side.

"Let's grab our pompoms!"

Someone pulled me by the arms to the side of the bleachers, where all our gear was laying, and the few steps we took down the players' tunnel allowed us to see the crowd waiting for us. Yet in spite of all those eyes, I could only feel those two gigantic circles of blackness.

"Are you okay?" Two blue eyes appeared in front of me, contrasting with Douglas's by their three dimensions but also by the emotion they were emanating: worry. It had even overtaken the nervousness in Rachel's eyes, and it was saying a lot about my appearance as I tried a confident nod, re-adjusting my outfit.

Yet the fabric was always too tight on my chest, too short on my legs, too thick on my cold skin, and no matter how I was moving, I couldn't get rid of those goosebumps, of those eyes on me. Were they following me?

I stepped to the left, to the right, and turned away, yet their sardonic glint was always moving with me to land in freezing shivers down my guts, and the more I looked, the more I was paralyzed.

He was still meters away, though, so how would I be able to dance and soar right in front of him, feeling his eyes piercing my back like my bullet had run through him?

"I can't do it." I shook my head in front of the pompoms Rachel was handing me, and once more, those shivers ended up with me running away.

I knew I was a mess, a coward, and maybe even going insane because I didn't stop until I was locked in a toilet stall, and still, the chill down my spine remained.

The air was suffocating today, so hot that it felt thick, yet my skin was cold, deadly cold.

I hugged my stomach in hope to get a little warmth, huddling myself in the corner of the narrow space, and as my gaze traveled from the checkered tiles floor to the slit of the door to make sure no ghost had followed, I realized it was the same stall as one month before, when I'd overheard Diane and her 'friends' gossiping. 

I was in the exact same position as when I'd discovered Blade was a 'murderer'. It'd turned out I was one too – killer, murderer, for tattletales, it was all the same. I could still hear them, even if the bathroom was empty today.

I guessed that just like I could shudder and suffocate, I could feel hemmed in and alone.

How I wished Blade could have appeared like that day... take me away... getting lost in the middle of nowhere. 

But he wouldn't because I hadn't seen him in more than two weeks, because one of my hands was still clutching Spencer's necklace around my neck, and no matter how much my hand was trembling around the heated pendant, Spencer wouldn't be waiting behind the door either. He wouldn't engulf me in the cocoon of his arms and sweet promises because even if I'd seen him just this morning at school, we hadn't exchanged a word since that day in the janitor closet, because I still hadn't chosen, and each day, the choice appeared more impossible. 

Each second, I missed them more, and I was finding more reasons why I loved them both.

It had been more than two weeks, and I knew it was too much.

Would they even wait for me? While I realized I couldn't live without them, maybe they were better off without me. The thought froze my blood more than any ghost, and when the bathroom door opened, I was too crippled to even blink. Only my heart did move in a jump of hope that maybe my wishes would come true. One of the two men would burst through that door...

"Dorothy?" The quiet and feminine voice of Rachel made my heart fall back down in reality, and even if I loved my friend, it was a harsh drop until the pit of my stomach as I was about to let her down too. "You're here? I have peppermint. It helps with nausea and stage fright."

I closed my eyes, holding my breath as her voice echoed just on the other side of the thin stall door. When her footsteps stopped, it was clear she knew I was here, and the thought of her puppy eyes behind made my stomach churn until I opened the lock.

I really needed those peppermints.

"Thank you." I slowly peered behind the door to be met by the red and white candies in her open hand, and as soon as I'd taken one, the thought of crawling back inside my hiding place didn't even get to form that I was pulled into a hug.

It wasn't the strong arms I needed, but her embrace still warmed my chest.

"I was sure it would be me who would end up here before the show." She leaned away to show me her smile and her puppy eyes. "But thanks to all your help and great tips, I feel ready and–"

"I'm sorry, but I can't do it," I cut her off, not needing more argument to weigh on my chest, and I was quick to avert my eyes down.

Yet she didn't let me.

"Yes, you can. You're Dorothy Duncan. You can do anything. You've already done it, even broken-hearted, and you'll do it again." She managed to make me lift my head just with her words, as I had to make sure it was the shy Rachel who was talking so confidently. It was, as she pushed her glasses up her nose. "Do it for yourself."

"You're really sweet, thank you... but I don't know what I want anymore, not even what I deserve, and I can't do it."

This time, I kept my gaze down on my twiddling fingers, even when she let out an empty sigh, and I could feel her eyes on me. I was already expecting her 'why?', and I knew I risked losing one more person I cared about, as I couldn't answer.

I couldn't explain her why my muscles that I'd trained a million times were now stiff like ice, why I couldn't erase the sourness in the back of my throat with all the peppermints in the world, why it wasn't only about a broken or torn-apart heart, and why I wasn't the same girl who had done the performances before.

"Do it for me and the whole team then," she offered, no 'why' or question mark, at least, not in her voice. "I don't know exactly what you're going through, but you're not alone. We're a team."

Something in her understanding gaze told me she had guessed more than what I'd confessed to her about my dilemma between Spencer and Blade, yet she still grabbed one of my shaky hands.

"And the team needs you... I need you. I know it's stupid, but... I've been dreaming of this moment for so long..." she bit her lips for a second as if hesitating to talk before taking a big breath and letting it out.

"I still remember a few years ago, when I was in the crowd, and I watched your sister and her team do one of their performances. She looked like she was flying, so strong and graceful, and for the shy girl with no friend in sixth grade, it made me believe anything was possible." She smiled, the kind of smile that even if she was hiding behind her glasses, her whole face was illuminated, and I could feel it pulling at my own lips.

"That's when I knew I wanted to be a cheerleader and be strong and graceful like her, and I can't do that without you." Her gaze came back from the memories to focus on me again with all the hope, the dream, and the pleading she had, and her puppy eyes were shining so much that it lit up a spark in my chest, unless it was just her next words?

"If you can't do it for yourself, please, do it for me and the little girl that will be watching you and believe anything is possible."

Everything switched in me in that instant. Well, my stomach was still shriveling, my hands shaking, and my heart broken, yet I was seeing that little girl and her clear eyes full of hope like Rachel's. They were outshining the darkness in Douglas's eyes, and as I put a hand over my chest, I could feel the warmth there.

I'd been so paralyzed by Douglas's picture that I'd forgotten he wasn't the only one who would be watching. There were alive people, and I had to think of them: that little girl somewhere, my friend, my teammates – except maybe for Diane – the crowd, my parents, Spencer – he had to be there since it was a school event, right? – and Blade, even if he wasn't here...

"Okay, let's do it for that little girl."

For the little girl, I focused only on her, not on me and my heartaches.

If after all the chaos I'd caused, I could give a little hope to someone just by dancing and cheering, then I would do it and put all the energy I had left into this performance.

I didn't have much choice anyway, as Rachel was already tugging me by the hand and leading us out of the bathroom with a strength that once more surprised me. If I could inspire the same in a little girl that would be amazing.

I kept picturing those eyes in my mind as we entered the stadium again, the image warming me from inside out while goosebumps were slowly arising on my skin with each step.

No matter how much I tried, a 10x10 feet picture was impossible to avoid.

"Does it have to be that big? And right in our back and behinds?" Although I was looking at the immense photo with the same thought, I wasn't the one speaking, and the aghast eyes of the girls beside me pulled me out of my stare.

"I swear his eyes are following us," Josie added with a shiver, and I realized I really wasn't alone.

I recognized the look in some of my teammates' eyes; it was the same I'd seen in Angel's dark eyes, the same powerlessness leaving me frozen to the bone. It wasn't hard to guess these girls were seeing the same haunting monster as I was and why, and there were surely more than I could fathom.

"The sky is really dark... Maybe it's safer to cancel because they forecast a thunderstorm," Patricia, one of Diane's friends, suggested.

The clouds were indeed darker and more threatening, yet her attention was on another menacing darkness above, and the lightning bolt was happening in me when Diane replied,

"No way! Stop whining. It's our last show, and we're here to honor–"

"Life." Everyone looked stricken, including myself and Diane, as I stepped beside her, turning my back to the picture, and even if the tunnel leading to the bathroom in front of me looked tempting, my gaze was locked on all the girls around.

"I think what Diane is trying to say... is that we're here to honor life and everything that we've survived to be here today.

"No, I–"

"We're strong and alive, and it's not dark clouds that will take that away from us." I didn't let Diane stop me, nor anyone, and I didn't need to picture a little girl in the crowd. I was seeing many more behind the colorful cheerleading outfits: strong young women who were hiding broken little girls inside, and I made sure to speak to every one of them.

Slowly, the light was re-sparking in their shadowed gazes, and with each sparkle, my voice was louder and the beats of my heart found more purpose.

"So we'll cheer better than ever for ourselves and to show that little girl in the crowd that we can be strong no matter what happens."

I would dance for all of them. I'd killed Douglas for them too.

I would forever regret what I'd done, and I wished there would have been another way to stop him. Yet I didn't regret saving Angel and protecting the innocence of the little girl who needed to believe anything was possible. Maybe I even regretted not having saved all those girls before.

Was it making me a bad person? Maybe, but had Douglas ever regretted raping them? No, and I wouldn't let him take more power.

"Roses for all, and all for Rose team!" Rachel announced, louder than I'd ever heard her, and her held-out hand getting covered by about 30 others was a powerful sight.

Even Diane joined the cheers, not without adding that it was 'exactly what she'd been about to say', of course, though she was interrupted by the first faraway rumble of thunder, and everyone was too busy rushing to the center of the field to listen.

We wouldn't let a storm stop us after all, and none of us was looking at the hovering clouds above or behind as we took our positions. Our shining gazes were ahead, at the crowd, and with this new perspective, I caught a special pair of eyes, dripping with worry and the question: 'do you need help?'.

What would he do? Take off the poster by himself? Already standing from his bench, Spencer looked ready to do it, and the thought made my heart skip a beat. But he didn't have to. I could be strong, and I showed him with a confident nod before proving it to everyone around when the song from the band engulfed the thunder echoes.

I'd never danced with that much energy and purpose until each of my claps, and even if I felt Douglas's presence in my back, the chills that came with it were annihilated by the warmth the whole team was emanating.

Rachel had been right. I wasn't alone, and when came the time for the grand finale, I met her twinkling eyes before we both launched ourselves in the round-offs we'd rehearsed for, and we were propelled higher than ever by our teammates.

We were strong and graceful thanks and for each one of them, and as I soared in the air, I showed Douglas wherever he was that he might have taken a lot of things from us, but he would never have our power. I rose taller than ever, held at arms' length for the finale standing split, and I didn't even waver as I glanced behind.

From up there, the picture didn't appear as big and impressive, and especially when a few raindrops made the paper slowly cave in. It was fully collapsing when we landed under thunderous applause and a shower of rain.

The sky and the crowd were wild, and I took in each of these little sensations on my skin: the vibrations of the claps and shouts, the energy of everyone bustling around, the raindrops faster and faster like the beats of my heart, and the pearls of goosebumps that arose with all of this as I shivered, a shiver of power.

In that instant, I may not have looked graceful, but I felt strong, and no one could take that away from me.

While everyone in the crowd was rushing to take shelter, I grinned at the dark sky like the little girl that had used to dance in the rain. She had never been afraid of hovering clouds because she'd known there was always a silver lining somewhere, and I found it when I lowered my head, the clear intensity locking my gaze, while the rest of my body jumped in emotions.

He was there, sheltered near a side gate, just like the first time. He'd come just for me, like the first time – okay, me and my pompoms – and it was the spark that added to the powerful mess I was. With the unstoppable rush of adrenaline pumping faster in my veins and the lead of my instincts, I grabbed my drenched skirt and lifted it like a French cancan dancer just for Blade to see. 

It was crazy and reckless, especially after everything that had happened between us. But it worked as his eyes widened for a second to then give way to the twinkle of bad intention and the famous right dimple I'd missed. As I could still picture the haunting images of his glistening eyes, it felt even more precious, and I definitely wouldn't forget this moment either as he slowly pulled a white fabric out of his jeans pocket, and the dimple deepened.

If it took me a few seconds to make out the shape of the clothing, the mischievous sparkle in his eyes was making it clear even from the other side of the stadium. The dangerous bad boy with his dark aura was waving my panties like a banner, the white fabric contrasting with his black tank top, which contrasted with the pearl jewel around his neck. It was full of contrasts, like him, like the reactions it aroused in my body as I burst out laughing, shaking my head and hiding my warm cheeks, only for the laugh to bubble louder and freer.

It felt like an eternity since I hadn't laughed like this or even had a tickle of pure joy, and it was magical.

My wish had come true finally. Blade was here. Spencer was here too. In their own way, they were there through every storm, and although it made choosing even more impossible, I didn't get to worry about that as two arms wrapped around me, then four, ten, and more.

"Thank you for the little girl," Rachel said in my ear before it all became a blur of excited shouts, laughter, and praises that I couldn't distinguish. 

I just noted the 'bravo, Dodo' from Diane because for once, it wasn't followed by a criticism. I was even starting to wonder if she was getting sick because she'd been exceptionally kind these days, and the compliment seemed to burn her mouth and her whole throat.

But most importantly, what caught my attention in the excited melee was a simple 'thank you' from Josie, whose eyes carried too much thankfulness for just a successful cheerleading performance.

Did you feel that shiver of power? ✨

Our Shooting star is finally realizing how powerful she is, and beware whoever will stand in her way 😈 

I hope you liked this chapter! If so, don't forget to vote ⭐ and comment!

Let me know what you think will happen next! And it might come sooner than you expect... 😏

Yes, next chapter will be posted on Friday because I'm going on vacation on Saturday, and I won't be posting for 2 weeks 😎

So see you on Friday with a POV you all like 😈! Love you my little Shooting stars 😘🌠