'Lately I don't even know ya

Too many devils on your shoulder, shoulder

Oh my God

Baby, if it's what you want

I just wanna see you happy'

It wasn't that hard actually because they were heading towards each other, and Spencer threw him the ball. We could see clearly the ball about to take off in the air again, and we were definitely seen as both looked in our direction and didn't watch what they were doing.

Before I could exhale, the inevitable happened, and from the 'no!' I heard beside me, everyone probably saw it coming, contrary to what came next as I even surprised myself.

Something must have been short-circuited in my brain. Was it the wooden toy I'd been gripping too tightly in my pocket until it sparked? The wide brown eyes staring at me? The ball flying in my direction? Or just a wild instinct?

When the question appeared, I was already jumping in the air to catch the ball, and I couldn't think of the answer as I ran as fast as I could towards the end of the field.

I was a shooting star, and the boys standing in my way didn't get to stop me. Okay, they were maybe a little dumbstruck, but the few who tried to catch me stumbled with my zigzag movements.

It was like I was flying before I, of course, crashed, though it was behind the delimitated white lines, and I didn't even try to catch myself, closing my eyes and letting my body glide forward, with the ball hugged to my chest.

When I reopened my eyes, every sensation rushed to me as if I was coming back to consciousness, even though my body was perfectly fine. I would have some bruises, but I hadn't blacked out technically. I just had a lot to process with the surge of adrenaline coming down, and with the shouts of my name, claps, and howling gasps echoing around, my head lifted to peek at my surroundings while my smile stretched.

I had caught a Hail Mary pass and done a touchdown, an extraordinary good one. The victory rushing in my veins wasn't like anything I'd felt in years, and maybe coming back to consciousness, coming back to life, was really the best way to describe it as I inhaled deep breaths of air filled with sweat, turf, and success, and my muscles were buzzing.

"Unreal! The great Dorothy Duncan is back?!"

"She's still as good!"

Some boys with whom I'd played many hours, many years ago shouted, though whether they were gaping at me like a ghost coming back from the past or just like an alien, they were all wide-eyed. All except one, who had this bright, knowing grin, and it didn't dim the sensations going through my body. On the contrary, my heart was taking up stronger, and I may have returned Spencer's smile for a second or more.

"Well done! I didn't think someone would catch this throw! That's way out! I owe you one." Gordon appeared in front of me, his extended hand reminding me that I was still crashed on the ground. "We're playing to know who will clean the locker room, so it's serious."

Oh right, it was their tradition after the end of the championship every year: playing for fun and great stakes. Boys and their stupid bets!

"You can ask me anything if we win."

"Um... can I play?"

"What?" His eyes grew larger while he looked around my head as if checking for any concussion.

He was indeed sweet, and he reminded me so much of someone.

I glanced behind to glimpse a wide-eyed Rachel, shifting from one foot to the other and hesitating between coming to check if I was fine or hiding away from Gordon.

That wasn't part of our plan, and it was my fault as I'd drifted. But maybe we could still get to the finale line.

I looked up in a second of hesitation, and the cerulean blue illuminated by the shining sun seemed to encourage my instincts as I nodded confidently. 

"Can I replace you? We were here to ask some of you questions about your studies and future for the end-of-the-year project. So Rachel could interview you while I'm replacing you on the field because I really want to play." I offered my best arguments and my best puppy eyes, yet it was only with the mention of Rachel's name that his expression switched.

It was a slight change, but from the way his gaze flicked behind me and his sweaty cheeks tinted a shade brighter, I knew one of us would have a date for prom, and a part of our plan would be a success.

"Oh sure. I think I need to rest a little anyway." He offered me a knowing smile before quickly turning to the rest of the team that was joining us. "My ankle is hurting. Dorothy will replace me, if that's okay with you?"

"A girl?! No way! She isn't in the team, and how will she play? With a dress?" Bradley sneered, making me look down at my stained skirt, and it was crazy how there was nothing similar in the tall and burly young man and my mom's disapproving frown, but their gazes both had a way to make me feel unfit.

"With her skirt, Dorothy just did a touchdown better than most of us can do. So as the captain, I don't see any problem against it."

My head snapped up towards Spencer, who was, unfortunately, standing close enough for me to catch the tensions in the smile he was throwing at Bradley with his chin lifted up.

It was the first time I was hearing him use his position as a captain, and that he didn't ask his teammates' views. I didn't know what to think about it as he was doing it for me. Well, I didn't want to think about it, but the matter was in my chest anyway, bouncing between my hammering heart and my shriveling ribcage, and it ended in a lump in my throat preventing me to talk, even if I'd known what to say.

"Okay, so it's settled." Gordon barged in between the two boys, handing me the ball, and ending the discussion, although the 'of course' Bradley muttered through a fake rictus would echo too long in my mind.

"I'll help you get the gear in your size." Spencer's eyes were already back on me, giving me one more reason to look down at my hands.

"No, thanks. I know where it is." I pushed the ball in his hands, which were reaching for me, and I hoped it would mark some distance between us as much physically as meaningfully, and offset all the steps I'd taken to come here that could give the wrong idea.

Walking here, sitting front row, and rushing on the field before asking to play on his side on top of that, it could lead to misinterpretation, and once more, I hadn't thought before acting.

However, this rush of adrenaline and lightness in my veins had been so good, along with all those forgotten sensations; it was what decided me to head to the door with the Subrose High school symbol and not towards the exit as I walked away from Spencer.

I would play, and I would win, I told myself confidently after one last glance at the field. First, because of the two lovebirds who were already seated on the bleachers, Gordon having rushed there despite his 'hurt' ankle. But I also wanted to prove to each of those players that I could play football with my skirt, and to Spencer, that I didn't need him to defend myself, to prepare, and to live.

Once I had put on the smaller helmet I'd found on my for-once arranged hair, I realized it was myself I had to prove something too.

It was only this last one that remained with the sweat and the soreness when the 27-22 were announced.

I had proven that my chest could still swell despite the emptiness and that in my stained dress, I could feel and earn those tingles of good adrenaline.

Though judging by the way Rachel and Gordon were staring at each other, her 'questions' sheet abandoned on the bench, and the victory ignored, it had also been useful for our plan. 

As for proving I wasn't out of place on the field, I guessed the large grins of everyone in my team, and the sullen expressions of the opposite teammates, particularly Bradley's red face, were saying everything.

There was just one thing I wasn't sure to have won.

"Well done, DD! I'm impressed." A bottle of water appeared in front of me, and in spite of my careful efforts, warm tickles still sprang on my hand with the brush of Spencer's fingers.

"It's a teamwork." I quickly pulled my hand away, almost dropping the bottle with my numb movements, and I threw a glance around in search of anyone.

But on this side of the stadium, there was only Spencer and me, and I realized how large the field was in this instant more than when I'd run back and forth through it during the game.

Clearly, it looked like I hadn't proven I could stay away from him. I hadn't when he'd scored the final touchdown, and the marks in my palms were proof of how hard I had to fight myself to not jump at his neck. Neither I had when he'd been the one with whom I'd made the most passes because he'd always been in the right places, and neither I had when I'd been so lost in the game, so lost in memories that I'd been taken back to a time where it had been Spencer and Dorothy forever, the best team.

Yet a lot had happened since those simple times, and the wounds in my chest couldn't be erased.

"I wasn't talking about that. I know you're the best at football. I mean for them." He nodded towards Rachel and Gordon, who, sensing our gazes, finally pulled out of their daze.

"Oh, I didn't do much. They're just meant for each other." I smiled, watching Rachel gathering her things and Gordon rushing to help her, which ended up with them bumping into each other's head and laughing awkwardly like a scene from a movie, except that the pink on their cheeks wasn't make-up.

However, Spencer's attention was already back on me, warming my own skin, even if I didn't dare to look at him.

"They are." I could hear his small smile, which sounded as soft as his voice, and I hid behind my bottle of water to not peer up.

Yet the water downed, he hadn't moved an inch, and my stained dress didn't appear like enough distraction.

"Round of milkshakes at the diners on the winners to motivate our cleaning ladies!"

Well, a distraction arrived with Will, who hadn't scored a point but had been lucky enough to be on our team, and the way he mockingly patted Bradley's shoulder was something worth seeing.

When my eyes were already sliding to my sides, I realized everyone had joined us.

"You're coming too?" Gordon offered with a smile that was mostly directed to Rachel, who was back to her timid self with all the boys around.

I understood; it was becoming suffocating, though maybe it was just because the excited boys shoving and jumping around were pushing me closer to Spencer.

"Rachel, you should go. But I can't, it's getting late, and I have to head–"

"What? No!" Protests came before I was even finished with my pathetic excuse, yet with the loud shouts of the players, it was hard to tell from whom.

Who was I kidding? I could recognize this voice through a thousand, and even though Rachel's wide pleading eyes were echoing the question, it was Spener, who stepped in front of me.

"It's thanks to you that we won. You deserve to celebrate with us."

"And the drinks are free, you can't miss it," Gordon added, his gaze flickering to Spencer as he came to his help like they were still on the field.

"That's–"

"Please." I was pulled to the side with a strength that I wouldn't have guessed from Rachel as she rushed in a hushed whisper, "You can't leave me with all those boys, not now... I was almost..." She didn't say more in fear that her quiet voice could be heard in the hubbub, and with the eyes I was feeling hanging on all our movements, it could be possible.

Anyway, her big blue eyes were obvious enough, reminding me of our agreed plan through a hopeful glint.

"I..."

"Please." I didn't know if it was her glasses highlighting her pleading look or just the fact that she appeared so shy and fragile, while my petite figure in a stained dress had defeated all those big guys on the field, but she was definitely better than me at puppy eyes.

"Fine... but only for a few minutes 'cause I don't wanna be grounded more."

A large smile immediately stretched Rachel's lips, yet it wasn't the biggest around.

Only a few minutes, that was what I told myself after too many few more minutes, waiting for my milkshake.

It turned out that freshening up, walking from the stadium, and settling in the busy diner took more minutes than I'd expected, or at least, it felt like more minutes because the school bus still hadn't honked, and I guessed it was still too soon.

I didn't dare to glance at the clock on the other side of the wide room though, not wanting to catch sight of anything familiar, especially a certain smile.

"Can I sit here?" Spencer's smile, it was here as I lifted my gaze from the fidget toy in my hand. Although the grin wasn't as large as before, the corners of his lips having fallen down in an almost sheepish smile.

It was the same for his gaze, flickering between me and the empty seat beside me, and he advanced the two muffins in his hands like offerings. Of course, he had taken chocolate and blueberries, my two favorite flavors, and the little cakes were almost calling to be shared. 

Yet I quickly glanced away from the muffins and his other convincing arguments, searching for an empty seat in vain.

From my end of the long table, it was easy to notice how packed it was, and sliding from Rachel next to me – more exactly, her back as she was fully turned towards Gordon – all around the table, my gaze didn't catch one inch of space, except for where Spencer was standing expectantly, and it made me realize how cramped in I was inside my chest.

"Do I really have a choice?" I lifted an eyebrow, not sure whom I should blame for this. Either he'd planned it really well or the universe was against me.

"You do always." He sighed, putting the muffins on the table, but still not sitting down. "I would never impose you anything or hurt you intentionally. I care about what you think."

We weren't talking about the seat anymore, and it wasn't obvious only because he pushed the metal chair away with an eager gesture. His smile had fully fallen to a serious expression, exacerbated by his tired features, and the thuds of my heart were outweighing the loud chatters around. 

Actually, the heaviness was plummeting on the easy atmosphere, making the air thicker and the bright teal and pink colors more somber. Even Rachel and Gordon could surely feel it pressuring on their little bubble.

"Did you read the letters–"

"Fine. You can sit here," I cut, my voice wavering more than I would have wished as I added, "But I don't wanna talk about u– all of this." I couldn't pronounce the word 'us' again, not after I'd told him it was no more. "We're here to celebrate the game, and I don't want to spoil this beautiful day."

There was nothing harsh in my words, not even in my tone, yet his open lips with the breath he'd taken in and surely a lot of beautiful words ready clamped shut, and I could see them tumbling down with the movement of his Adam apple. He was flinching as if they were bringing him a bitter taste, and I was more confused when he still nodded and gently slid the chair next to me again, closer than it had been before.

The thought of running away once more crossed my mind, and I knew he could see it with his eyes glued to me. That was surely why he pushed the muffins in front of me and added a 'thank you', even if he had no reason to thank me.

It was just a seat, and there was still this gap between us. Yet it didn't seem to discourage him.

"Did you watch the meteor shower this weekend?" He was trying; I could give him that, but the gap only deepened with all the shooting stars I'd seen, crashing there in awkwardness, and in this instant, I realized how many there had been.

"Yes, I did." I cleared my throat, the flashbacks of sparks even invading my vocal cords, and I didn't dare to imagine my cheeks as I avoided his attentive gaze that was turning the sparks into pricklings of uneasiness until the tip of my fingers.

My hands were itching to soothe these tensions with the fidget toy, which I kept hidden under the table. However, I didn't do more than grip it tightly as I feared the thuds of wood would be the trigger to an explosion in the charged air.

I was glad he didn't raise more already, though the silence around wasn't better, and I couldn't prevent the thumps of my heart.

Of course, it wasn't quiet around, the hubbub resonating louder and louder in the wide room. Yet it appeared so far like looking through the storefront with the lively chats between the boys around the table unfolding in a silent movie.

"I bet Will is getting a brain freeze in less than five minutes." Spencer startled me as much because he caught exactly where my lost gaze was wondering as because his soft voice sounded so clear and so close.

Well, it was close when I turned my head and caught the ghost of his smile right above my shoulder.

"Come on, I think he's learned by now." I quickly glanced back to the tall blond boy on the other end of the table, who was taking too big spoons of ice cream, his confident grin not faltering, neither his pace of mouthfuls when the guy next to him imitated him. "No?! Don't tell me Bradley will join him again?" My eyes widened as it really felt like I was watching a Laurel and Hardy movie, and for background music, I had Spencer who hadn't moved.

"They never learn."

We both held our breaths for the micro-second where Will halted his spoon, probably hesitating on what to do when the headache was arising in his sinus, but it was too late, and his hand flew to his forehead while the same grimace was mirrored on Bradley's face.

I guessed some things really never changed, and as irresistible and immutable as a brain freeze, a tickle of laugh sparked in my stomach when my gaze found Spencer's. Here was the explosion I'd dreaded: a fit of laugher that burst at the same time in Spencer and me.

I couldn't even distinguish my laugh from his. That was how in sync we were and how tangled these sounds were in this place, in each other, and this moment was timeless. It was like all these times Will and Bradley had had brain freezes, all these little things that made Spencer and I laugh, only us.

We may not have been in our usual booth corner, but the place didn't matter because all I saw were these amber reflections that were shining at me, and they hadn't changed either. They still gazed at me like I was the light, the joy, the love, everything, and inside they still created the same flutters.

Unfortunately, the thing about laugh was that it seeped into every muscle, and on its way, the soft strength of its wave opened every fragile wound.

As the tickles died down, I could feel the raw split, and the tearing pain coming back was there to remind me things weren't the same.

It was easy to pretend I was fine when I was barely glimpsing him at school, avoiding him most of the time. Yet here, with his brown eyes so close, I was as helpless as Meteorite, unable to move, and I didn't know if I would ever be able to as he searched his eyes over my face, surely looking for the twinkle of joy that was already fading out.

"I miss you."

Those three little words were stronger than any wave of laughter.

What to even reply to this? My body that had tilted closer through the innocent moment was saying it all, and we could have imagined that the appearance of the waitress would have ended the unspoken conversation.

But on the contrary, the knowing smile of the woman who had been working here for only a few months, the brush of our fingers as Spencer grabbed the brown glass and I went for the pink, the shaky breath I heaved out, and the hint of chocolate lacking on my straw as I took my first sip were screaming those words in the silence, and there were maybe a few other three-words confessions.

"Thank you, Dorothy!"

I was pulled out of this deafening silence by a tug on my arm, and while I took in a puff of relief, turning to Rachel, I heard too loudly the faint disappointed sigh in my back.

"... I did it! Thanks to you." I hadn't focused on everything Rachel was whispering, but judging by her smile, it wasn't complicated to understand.

She had invited Gordon to prom like we'd planned, and of course, from the glow of her grin, he'd accepted.

A smile stretched my own lips at her excitement, yet even if I was truly happy for my friend, the corners of my lips too quickly fell down with the heaviness of everything I had on my chest.

Yay! Who's happy for Rachel and Gordon? A new cute couple is forming 😍

Am I trying to distract the Spencer haters from killing me? Yes 😅 But what did you expect? Spencer hasn't said his last word 😉 You gotta understand him: Dorothy is a special and precious girl! What do you think of her touchdown? Personally, I'm so proud of her ❤

Tell me all your thoughts like always, and don't forget to vote ⭐ if you like the story so far!

Love you, my little shooting stars 🌠😘❤