Today, in the header, we have the song but also a beautiful cover made by the talented gem @brokenxlilxarcher Thank you so much, my friend! So this chapter is dedicated to you 😘💕🤩

'You cut out a piece of me, and now I bleed internally

Left here without you, without you

And it hurts for me to think about what life could possibly be like

Without you, without you'

Strongs gusts echoing in whistlings at every corner, dark clouds going in every direction, and that electric heaviness, a storm was brewing, and not only in me.

The scenery was the same behind the window, though no one could predict when the first thunder would echo outside. Would it wait for the lunch break?

As the leaves jiggled faster above the shades of purple and indigo, and the familiar bell made me jump, I concluded everything would happen at lunchtime.

"Miss Duncan, can I have a word?"

I lifted my gaze to the man, who was neatly gathering sheets and tapping them on his wooden desk, the great quantity of paper making the sound echo almost as much as the screeching of chairs and chatters around, while I shoved my notebooks and pencil case in my bag.

I winced at my watch as I walked towards the small dais. Yet I couldn't decline a teacher's call, even if my stomach was twisting as Mr. Alexanders finished to tuck all the papers in a folder, and my fingers were itching to shuffle the sheets like the wind in the trees outside.

"What is it?" I pressed politely instead.

"I wanted to talk to you about the letter."

My eyebrows furrowed as the words 'dear DD' in a familiar handwriting flashed before my eyes, and he surely noticed it, as he added,

"The recommendation letter."

"Oh, this, yes, um..." My eyes pinched closed as I went back through the whirlwind of last week in search of this memory, yet it must have got lost with everything. "I didn't really get the opportunity to talk to my parents about it." I averted my eyes down as much because of the last memory I had as because of the sigh Mr. Alexanders let out.

"The meeting for the late admissions is next week, so if you want my recommendation letter, you have to give me an answer rapidly."

Next week, how could I have forgotten the deadline I'd so carefully written? Maybe because the notebook and all the arguments I'd prepared for my parents were somewhere in the pile inside my closet, like everything with Spencer's mark.

"If you really want to study astronomy?"

I was brought back to the conversation with Mr. Alexanders's lifted eyebrow gauging me.

"Yes, yes, of course! It's my dream. I've always loved astronomy," I rushed the words before he'd even finished his question. "And I've prepared everything, it's just– I'll talk to them today." I shook away the blur of last week with a confident nod.

"Good, because I believe you really have a great potential, Miss Duncan." He offered me a small smile, which was rare on his bony features, and although I was used to compliments from my teachers, this one hit differently, filling my chest with belief.

Before being a high school teacher, Mr. Alexanders was a man of science, and even his appearance gave it away with his mustache giving him a slight resemblance to Albert Einstein, and the wrinkles between his eyebrows from years of deep thinking. So I really respected him, and I knew the great opportunity he was offering me.

"Thank you, Mr. Alexanders."

"Now, you can go eat," he dismissed me with another smile, pointing to the door, and I didn't need to be told twice. "And don't forget the letter!"

"I won't. I'll make things right today." I passed the classroom door with this conviction.

Monday was the perfect day for it, the perfect day for a storm to wash away everything and start new. I smiled to myself as I heard the faraway rumbling of thunder outside, echoing the one inside my chest.

I didn't stop for a second though, rushing through the busy hallways faster than lightning and slipping between the students as swiftly as the gusts of wind, while my heart was ticking the seconds to 1 p.m.

It was already 1.01 p.m., but I hoped he would wait for me, if he even came to the meeting place, if he'd even read the note I'd slipped in this schoolbag during the math test. I believed he had if I'd deciphered his gaze on me correctly. It was a lot of conditions, and there was also an 'if he still wanted to see me'.

Yet I still had some certainties too, which I'd come to after replaying the whole strange evening too many times.

I still had no idea about the 'things weren't always what they seemed'. But what I'd realized was more life-changing for me.

First, I'd acted recklessly, sneaking out of my room and going out alone, and for what? I still wasn't sure. The gunshots clearly didn't help. As for Blade, we'd spent special moments together, but he'd never promised me anything more, and chasing him would be ridiculous and hopeless.

No one could ever replace Spencer, anyway. That was the second or third conclusion of the night, the most important one that was still leading my feet through the endless maze of hallways and staircases.

Spencer had been there through every important moment of my life, the good and the bad. I'd been there for him the same way, and I still couldn't stand the thought of him being miserable. 

I had promised myself to always bring a smile through his tears like a rainbow, and I couldn't break this promise I'd made 10 years ago.

I prayed that he was miserable for the same reasons as me, and not only out of pity and worry. But whatever it was, I had to face him because, in all the 'heard' and 'seen', I hadn't listened to his explanations, and I hadn't looked in his eyes. 

I missed his voice, and those amber reflections full of light. I missed him; maybe it was the certainty that had made me write the simple words:

'Meet me at our lunch corner if you still want to talk. DD.'

It was time we talked, and my instincts felt it like the storm nearing, especially as I arrived in the administration wing of the school. A few more turns, the auditorium, the notice board, the principal's office, and then, our corner was just near the stairwell.

It was far from the science classroom, but it was worth the trouble. It was the best spot to be alone, away from any people that could meddle in, and in all the times we'd been there, we'd never been caught, even if it was right next to the principal's office because Mr. Young was a big and slow eater.

I'd followed these hallways so many times that I could have run with my eyes closed, though the tumult in my stomach wasn't the excitement of meeting Spencer's tender lips today; it resembled more a tempest as I rushed to another turn.

Yet I didn't get to reach farther than the auditorium as I collided with a tall figure.

I didn't have my eyes closed though. They were wide, and it was my brain that didn't react as I watched the hallway walls tilting around and two hands hesitating to keep the stack of papers in their hold before they all flew around and the hands reached for my arm.

I was brought back up just before my head could be smashed against what I remembered was a sharp sculpture from an old art class behind me.

"Dorothy! I'm sorry!"

"No, it's my fault. I was rushing. Thank you for catching me..." I blinked my eyes to find back the steady hallway and place the eyes in front of me. "Billy?"

I hadn't expected to run, literally and figuratively, into anyone at this time, but Billy, even less. He didn't come at school, except if there was a match or an important event, and I didn't recall there was any today.

"What bring you here today?" I asked, already picking up the papers spread on the floor as the seconds were still ticking in my head and heart.

"No scoop, sadly!"

I smiled, glancing up as Billy kneeled beside me.

If you could guess Mr. Alexanders's job just by his look, Billy was a perfect example of 'things weren't always what they seemed'. Well, maybe it was only because journalists always appeared as old and thin men in my mind, and Billy was not even forty, chubby, and with a loud voice that you wouldn't imagine while reading his striking articles.

"The only scoop these days is the storm outside."

And the one inside my chest, I mused as I grabbed the last piece of paper, already getting up.

"I'm–"

"You're looking for a new assistant?!" I interrupted him, my small voice surpassing his with my gasp as my eyes landed on the bold letters of the paper, and the words 'vacant post' and 'trainee assistant' swirled in my head.

"Yes, it's getting complicated since Spencer quit."

No? No?! No! Spencer couldn't have quit his trainee job at the What'Sub newspaper. It was one thing to miss one bowling, but this... The roar of thunder echoing outside wasn't enough to cover the protest of my heart.

Was he this miserable?

"Since it isn't paid, it's harder than I've thought to find someone."

Of course, Spencer hadn't cared about the money; it was for another reason that he'd been doing it, and just the thought that he could have given it up was crushing every little piece of my broken heart and turning them into nothing. 

Nothingness, I was back to the sensations from my birthday, yet it wasn't for myself.

If he was miserable to the same point that I was, I couldn't bear it. Everything became blurry again. My instincts were kicking in with an irresistible rush that my thundering heart was spreading to my legs, and the memories of my dreams of stars slipping from my grasp made me overlook everything that had happened after. All I wanted was to run into his warm arms again and comfort each other.

"In two months, we got no one."

My feet froze before I could take a step, and I almost crashed on the ground again.

"Two months?!" A bolt of lightning illuminated the whole hallway, and with it, everything flashed in my mind, the deafening thunder following two seconds after, just like the last crack of my heart.

It was strange how perfectly in sync it was, and actually, I could have really got hit by lightning because the searing pain was the same in each cell of my being as Billy replied,

"Yeah, two, almost three since the beginning of March. Time flies!"

Two or three months, every moment he'd told me he couldn't see me because he'd been working at the newspaper, every time I'd asked him to tell me what he'd learned there, and even every single yawn he'd let out because the newspaper was 'busy', it all replayed before my eyes.

"I gotta say we really miss Spencer! He was a gem!" Billy was still talking, and I was surprised his journalist's gaze hadn't noticed the shock striking me until I glimpsed my reflection on the near window.

My face was blank of emotion. No tear was slipping out; no shake moved my hands, and not even a shallow breath was escaping me. Nothing was betraying the storm raging inside.

"It's too bad he doesn't have time anymore, but if it's for his girlfriend, I understand." He threw me a twinkling knowing look, still unaware how his words were unleashing a natural disaster inside.

"I'm not his girlfriend anymore. He surely was talking about someone else." If the light flickered with a new thunderclap at this instant, there was no tremor in my voice, and it was shocking how void it sounded.

I wasn't the only one noticing it apparently, as Billy's eyebrows rose up his forehead. Yet I didn't let him time to process this scoop.

Sensing the torrential flow nearing, I added, "Excuse me but I have to go. Um... good luck for the search."

I turned on my heels and ran through the hallways I'd just treaded twice as fast as before. I would be soon out of this wing, and that was the only direction I had.

I couldn't believe I'd been about to go back into his arms, overlooking the obvious. I'd been willing to give him another chance, forgive him, or more exactly, I'd been foolishly hoping to find back the boy I loved. But he didn't exist anymore, and I wasn't even sure I'd ever known him.

Two or three months... Things weren't indeed always what they seemed; they were worse.

All those 'I love you', all the lies that had been whispered in my ears, I could still hear that voice ringing so smoothly.

'DD!'

It was like those flappings of butterfly wings on my skin were chasing me, and I could see too clearly these brown eyes that I'd stared into and trusted blindly.

"Dorothy, wait!"

I was more than picturing them when a hand pulled on my forearm, and I was brought face to face with those eyes.

I was glad that a clap of thunder echoed at this instant to cover my shaky sigh, and I quickly jerked my arm away to shake off the tickles of his warm skin on mine.

"Dorothy," Spencer panted, his voice sounding miserable, just like his whole appearance looked: his red cheeks, the dark circles under his eyes, his wrinkled white shirt, his disheveled brown curls, and the large bruise on his jaw that still hadn't faded since Friday's game.

I was engulfed again in all of his being, his spicy scent and his warmth blurring my thoughts, and I wasn't even looking straight into his wide, distraught eyes.

"I was waiting for you. You didn't come, I was so worried–"

"Worried?!" I let out a dry chuckle.

I could now understand why some people used chuckles in humorless situations. If tears were like rain, that raw sound was like the thunder when too many emotions were clashing inside, and mine were snapping in this instant.

"Worried and pitiful? That's why you want so much to explain?" I shook my head, the gesture being as much to keep hold of the tears as to prevent seeing his gaze, as I was already catching sight of too many emotions in his creased eyebrows and tensing jaw.

"What? No! I don't believe those rumors about you hanging out with a criminal. I think they're just like the ones about Diane and me."

"Well, they are true." I offered him a smile, which probably looked nothing like it. "I've been hanging out with a criminal, a killer, more exactly."

I'd never seen his face turn as white as it was with my words, not even that one Halloween we'd painted our skins to look like ghosts, and I didn't know what he was struggling the most with to swallow as I continued, "So if it's the same for the rumors about you, then I guess they're true too."

He gulped once more in front of my lifted eyebrow. "No! It's not true! Never! I could never– Are you really... why are you doing this? Putting your life in danger? Is it some kind of revenge?"

"The world doesn't revolve around you."

It was the truth. Even if seeing him torn apart by too many questions could have been exhilarating, it hadn't crossed my mind once, and the few moments I'd spent with Blade hadn't been about this. He'd just helped me to forget everything.

"If I'd wanted to get revenge, I would have slept with one of your teammates," I spat, taking a step back and fighting the pull on all my muscles as his eyes were searching all over my face.

It was easy for him to see I wasn't lying.

"DD, you know I didn't. I would never cheat on you. You're the only girl for me. There has never been and there will never be anyone else. I love you. Come on, you know me!"

Here he was, with his beautiful words, and as he rushed them so breathlessly, there was an urgency that made everything spin faster in my chest.

"I thought I knew you, but I clearly didn't." I let my gaze travel down his figure, looking for the boy I'd fallen in love with, the man I loved.

It was him, in the same football jacket I'd seen so many times, the same arms that had holden me in our lunch corner just a few turns farther. But today, he was running his right hand through his hair, a habit he always had when he was frustrated, and his left hand was hanging in the air one inch away from my arm, close enough for me to catch the same shiny detail he was still wearing at his finger.

"How can I trust you when you've been lying to me so many times?"

"What?!" His eyes widened again, and I hated that look that highlighted the brown shades and invited me to drown in his lies.

"I know you quit your job at the newspaper."

It was strange how I could read easily the realization dawning on his features, yet I hadn't caught all the times he'd lied, and as my gaze followed the movements of his eyebrows and his lips parting, I took it as a sign that I was too close from his eyes. 

I had to get away before falling there again.

"DD..." I turned away on the familiar sound of my nickname, yet his hand pulled me back, and I wasn't sure if it was the impetus in his gesture or just the contact of our skins that had used to be drawn so naturally together, but I almost stumbled into his chest.

"Let me explain." He lowered his head, and for once, I was thankful for the tears blurring the sight of his eyes so close. "You wanted to talk, please, let me explain, please." His voice dropped as I lifted my chin.

"There's nothing else to say. We're over."

Just like that, the tears slipped out. The lights turned off at the same moment, and I vaguely glimpsed a large figure appearing behind Spencer.

"What are you doing here during lunchtime?"

I seized the distraction, and I took off, not knowing where I was going. The dark hallways seemed to look all the same, though it was surely because of the blur of my eyes and thoughts.

"DD, wait!" The familiar voice was my only point of reference as I ran as far away from it as possible.

There was also another voice calling with a severe echo, but it was drowned out by the regular thunder and my uneven heart.

Soon there was a distant hubbub, which I guessed was coming from the cafeteria or the hall, and my ragged breaths adding to it. Yet nothing could surpass the scream that followed.

"DD, I love you!"

Everything stopped – my heart, at least did, and maybe the whole school as I was sure the shout could be heard in every corner. Even the thunder was fading away like defeated by the heart-splitting echo.

There was only one thing that continued, two actually: the pain and the race of my feet. I would have loved to say that I was unaffected and confident, when in fact I almost tripped over the perfectly flat floor, fighting the ripping pull on all my muscles to turn back and run into his arms.

But how could I believe this 'I love you' if it was like all his 'I work at the newspaper today'? That was just it. I couldn't. I couldn't hear his voice; I couldn't look into his eyes. 

I could only run away, and I was starting to realize that pain was much more efficient than adrenaline or anything else to put my muscles into movements because I was already passing the front door, which I only recognized with the gust of wind that hit my warm face.

A few steps later, I was crossing the gate, guided by my instincts and the memories, though I questioned both when I was stopped by a wall, a wall with two arms catching me.

"As fast as a Shooting star!"

"Blade?!" I blinked my eyes to glimpse a hazy shade of crystalline blue that undoubtedly wasn't the sky.

"DD!"

I didn't leave Blade time to answer or even offer me one of his devious smirks as, following my instincts or whatever was rushing in my veins, I grabbed his hands and pulled him in the nearest corner.

"You really have the knack for finding the best spots."

Indeed, my instincts may have been 'shitty' as we were standing right next to a large trash can, and the putrid smell was strong enough to clear my thoughts.

In my rush, I had only considered the tall truck that was hiding us, but I quickly became aware of other details like the lack of shelter above our heads with the rain soaking us, and mostly, the narrow space between the two walls, the truck, and the trash can, which meant Blade's chuckle echoed straight throughout my whole body.

"But it might be my favorite so far." Even his whisper traveled directly to my chest as my small breasts were crushed against his firm chest, and actually, every part of our bodies was touching as much as the wet clothes were clinging to our skins.

Yet there was no way I would have moved from this hiding place, and I shrank a little bit more behind Blade's tall figure when another shout echoed closer this time. "Dorothy!"

I pinched my eyes closed tighter with every crack of the familiar voice, as if it could block it out from reaching inside.

"Is that your little boyfriend?"

"Shh!" I immediately shushed Blade, pulling him closer as he tried to peek out from behind the truck.

"My ex-boyfriend." It felt more like a cold shower than the pouring rain soaking my clothes, and the 'over' was impregnating way deeper than my bones.

It was over, all these years over, crashed as fast as a storm. The thunder and the calls were growing quieter. Yet the pain and the rain didn't subside, and both mixed on my cheeks.

I hoped the remaining tears could pass as raindrops, though for the piercing gaze so close, analyzing each of my freckles and each red shade from my eyes to my cheeks, I doubted it could go unnoticed.

"What are you doing here?" I fired the question before he could.

"You pulled me here." He offered me a glimpse of his dimple for the first time today, and I rolled my eyes, even if in all the emotions going through me, there was no annoyance.

"I mean, here, in front of the school."

The doubt that he was an evil genie still lingered, as he always appeared when there was chaos and I was lost, making me forget with Cheshire cat's smiles and bad intentions.

"Pete told me you were looking for me yesterday."

Here I was, barely catching my breath – as much as I could with his wicked presence so close and all the emotions raging inside my chest – and I choked on it again. I'd expected a 'deal' in the area or even a body to bury, but this?!

"What?! No!" I replied a little too eagerly and loudly before clearing my throat. "I just went to shoot and happened to ask if you were there." I shrugged, and the gesture only made my chest collide more with his in the small space. "I missed the thrill."

Though I wasn't sure which one, and I averted my gaze down in front of the sparkle shining more and more in his.

He was still as close, and instead of looking at every part of our bodies brushing, which I was already feeling too acutely, I focused on his chest right in front of my eyes and the tattoos peeking out from under his tank. The collar must have been lower today because I glimpsed patterns I'd never seen.

A gun, I recognized immediately the handle, and it was exactly the same outlines as the one from the wooden sign at the shooting range. I could almost picture the rest of the barrel pointing to his heart, and I pushed my tickling fingers farther into the wall behind me as my gaze traced carefully the inks again and again, trying to imprint each small line, accentuated by a few hairs in between and the raindrops adding an intriguing relief, until the tattoo was the only thing in my mind.

However, my contemplation was quickly interrupted with many other thoughts, unless my mind was just blank when he said,

"Now that I'm here... Do you want to go out to the drive-in tomorrow?"

I snapped my head up so fast that I was surprised I didn't knock him out in the narrow space, although our faces, and particularly our mouths, were one inch away from crashing.

"I-I thought you didn't plan dates?"

Okay, this may not have been the best way to reply to an invitation like that, but my mind was still blurred, or blank, or blue, well anything but clear.

"I didn't plan. It's written right here." He pointed right next to my head to one of the many bills half-hung on the noticeboard behind me, the word 'drive-in' being one of the only visible in the dripping letters.

"It makes sen– wait! Oh no!" My thoughts took as many colors as the posters as I realized the inks were running with the rain, and I immediately jumped away from the noticeboard I was leaning my back on.

In the narrow corner, it basically meant that I crashed into Blade's chest, which made me jump back, and after a few bounces back-and-forth like that, I managed to step away from both, focusing on looking over my shoulder rather than the devious dimple deepening on his cheek.

"Or we can get a pizza?" He nodded to my back with the same smirk, letting me know my suppositions were true before I could even glimpse the gradations of unnamed colors on my white shirt.

What was it with my clothes always ending ruined around him?

"Is it all over?" I winced, peering at the blue in his eyes and giving up trying to strain my neck as his gaze was scanning in detail every inch of my silhouette.

"Your butt is tagged at two dollars and 50 cents." He pointed at the small of my back, his gaze lingering there as if to check the price before he leaned above my ear. "But personally, I think it's worth more."

The trail of goosebumps he created on my wet skin made me jump back again, this time, my arm brushing the fading billboards, and it clearly was worse than I'd imagined when the prints colored my exposed skin. Yet the hand I put over my mouth wasn't to hold a sob after the course of this tempestuous day.

I threw my head back towards the dark clouds that were still pouring all of their content on us, and I laughed. 

I looked like a total mess; my life was a mess, and it wasn't tickles of happiness or joy like when I would dance in the rain at nine years old. It was more like every part of my body and soul aching so much that it turned into a strange prickling of laughter.

Maybe I had reached my point of no return, and it was my way to burst: bursting out laughing. But at this point, it couldn't get worse, could it?

Maybe I was just going mad, yet everything was sliding like the raindrops on my skin, and I didn't care. Actually, it was surely some of Blade's magic power, and his unaffected aura was rubbing off on me, engulfing me.

Even if I wasn't forgetting, the spark in his clear eyes was like a silver lining after the storm, making it feel like nothing could reach us, and when my gaze came back down to meet that devious twinkle, the words came out as naturally as my laugh.

"Okay."

"What?" The way his piercing gaze turned into two wide circles of blue with the lift of his eyebrows reminded me so much of our first encounter when he hadn't expected for me to accept his offer, and that once again confirmed my answer and pushed me to add,

"I would love to go out with you on that date – I mean to the drive-in tomorrow."

Blade Sayer 'didn't do dates', so I had no idea what to call it, and it wouldn't be the trash can or the fading posters I was carefully staring at that would give me an answer.

"Yes, a date, there's a first to everything."

I froze the twists of my fingers as my gaze snapped to him, and there was still a million reasons why I shouldn't have accepted, the two main ones that should have already tipped the scales irreversibly being that he was a killer and that I'd just officially pronounced the 'over' of my relationship with Spencer less than ten minutes ago. 

Yet the Cheshire cat's grin slowly stretching his lips once more outweighed any other argument.

It was just a 'date' after all. He didn't promise me anything else, and if I listened to the tingle in my guts, it felt right. It was the only thing that felt right.

I could have surely stayed for longer minutes in front of that smile, not even minding the foul smell of the trash can, if it hadn't been for the school bell making me jump again.

"I should probably go back if I don't wanna be grounded for tomorrow." I still peered hesitantly from behind the truck.

The pull on my muscles was already strong enough at the thought of going back to class; I couldn't face more. Though the tug became quite literal when Blade pulled me back in the corner.

"Wait, Shooting star." He took his knife out of his jacket pocket before taking it off, and my eyes almost popped out of their sockets, mostly for the latter reason. 

We were still in the narrow space. The rain was still pouring on us, and I was front row to watch the tattoos and muscles freshly exposed outside and under his white tank top as the wet fabric didn't hide much. There was definitely a lot more than I'd pictured, the tattoos and the muscles.

"Here."

I was lost as something warm and heavy engulfed my already heated skin.

"Wouldn't want someone to buy that butt."

The stains on my clothes, the rain, school, everything came back with the flash of his mischievous dimples, and I quickly averted my blinking eyes to the leather swallowing my petite figure.

"Oh, um, thank you, but you don't hav–" I stopped when I realized that my white blouse was almost as clinging to my body as the tank on his chest, and I quickly pulled the black leather to cover the outlines of my bra.

This explained the even more devious spark in his gaze. Though he only focused on my eyes as he replied,

"You can give it back tomorrow."

I nodded, and the second bell rushed me to move before I could add any word or ritual. After all, it wasn't a farewell this time. We would see each other again, and I was still engulfed in his unique perfume making the steps easier to take as I snuggled tighter into the smooth fabric.

As I threw him one more glance over my shoulder, I realized I was smiling. It may not have been the brightest smile with the shadows of my broken heart on my tear-stained cheeks, yet it was the first real one today, and it appeared like the tiny inch of clear sky I glimpsed on the horizon when I entered the school door and ran through the hallways again.

ATTENTION PLEASE!!! Now that Blade and Dorothy are going out on a DATE!!! We need a shipname for them! So leave your ideas in the comments below! 😉

Also, we need a shipname for Spencer and Dorothy because even if they've just broken up and I know a lot of you are trying to kill him, this story is still a love triangle, and Spencer may not have said his last word 😏

Now, that we got this said, we can all talk about this chapter from the recommendation letter to Spencer quitting his job (do you have an idea why? 👀) to the official break-up and finally Blade's miraculous apparition (cuz you've wished for it 😏🌠😈)

Let me know everything in the comments and don't forget to vote ⭐ if you liked this chapter!!

All your support and feedbacks from votes, comments, shoutouts, cover arts, and even reads (for the silent readers 😉) mean the world to me! And they're my biggest motivation through rainy days, storms, and tiredness 😍🥰🌠🌞😘💕