🎶Almost, almost is never enough, so close to being in love ~ Ariana Grande feat. Nathan Sykes

●Tara Afua Henrie●

The following day

"I can't believe you're actually thinking of turning this down!" Roberto lamented. "It's a 2 million dollar contract, Tara. 2 million dollars! How many new bands get a 2 million dollar contract on a silver platter? None. Absolutely none!"

"You think I don't know that?" I frowned.

"No, I don't think you do," Roberto scoffed, and it only aggravated me.

"You know what? I think you should leave." I pulled myself out of the built-in couch and dumped my guitar and songbook on my bed. 

Roberto released a sigh. "Come on, don't get upset."

"Of course, I'm upset." I whirled on him. "I only told you about this because I needed someone to share my concerns with. Instead, you're just reminding me of how good this deal is, and I already know that. I know it's a good deal, but I don't want us to lose what we already have."

A late afternoon breeze rolled in from the opened window, reducing the growing tension.

It was a little after four. I was up in my room, trying to work on a new song when Roberto's visit brought a halt to the creative process. The whole million-dollar contract deal still plagued my mind since yesterday, and I hoped discussing it with someone who wasn't a band member would at least provide some clarity. But Roberto's reaction only added to my frustration.

He sighed again and rubbed a hand over his face. "Ok, look, I'm sorry I wasn't giving you helpful advice. But you also have to see the bigger picture here, Tara. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. The likelihood that you might never get an offer like this again is very, very high." 

I shook my head, feeling the weight of his words. "I get it, Roberto. But it's not that simple. If we sign that contract, we won't be playing at the restaurant anymore which isn't right. Maybe I'm a bit hesitant because it's my sister's restaurant, but Originally Afro-Mex gave us that big break that we really needed. It gave me the platform to showcase what I've got. The restaurant is more than a stepping stone to me and I don't want to leave it behind." I mumbled, "I don't want to leave Pam hanging."

"You won't leave Pam hanging," Roberto replied. "She has me, Areli and Zazu. We'll figure something out, and find a way to keep The Saturday Night of Music going. Seriously, Tara, you don't have to let this hold you back."

I sucked in a deep breath, blowing out a raspberry. This was not the advice I was hoping for.

The doorbell suddenly chimed from downstairs.

"Expecting someone?" Roberto asked.

"Yeah, it's Jax. We're meeting the others at the restaurant to talk about the contract."

"Oh speaking of the restaurant, I should head back." Roberto jerked up from his seat. "I've got a shift in like the next thirty minutes. Pam's gonna grill me if I'm late again."

"She's still on your case?" 

"Duuh, every single day."

I couldn't help but chuckle as I grabbed my phone and followed him out of my bedroom.

"One time, she even threatened to staple my schedule to my forehead so I wouldn't forget it. And you know Pam—she actually had a stapler in her hand."

I laughed again. "Classic Pam."

We made it down the stairs to the front door, and I yanked it open, expecting to find Jax leaning against the porch railing with a cigarette stick dancing at his lips. Instead, a pair of grey eyes stared at us with raised eyebrows. 

"What are you doing here?" Surprise flooded every inch of my system.

"I came to see you." Shaun pulled off his hoodie, exposing that familiar mop of dark curls. "You weren't answering any of my phone calls or texts." 

 "That's because you gave me a good reason not to!" I fired back.

Sensing the brewing tension, Roberto hurriedly cleared his throat. "Uhh...I think I should get going." He carefully moved past me, grinning broadly at Shaun. "Nice to finally meet you in person, Mr. Perez. I'm a huge fan of your philanthropic work. Seriously, I--"

"Roberto," I warned and he quickly got the memo.

"Right." He backed away with a smile. "See you later, Tara. Don't rip his head off," he said then descended the front steps and out onto the sidewalk.

Shaun watched him go, chuckling, and I took advantage of the distraction to send the door flying in his direction.

Unfortunately, he sensed the movement and quickly stopped it with his hand. "Tara, wait. Hear me out."

"I already did. You lied to me for weeks. What more is there to say?" I tried pushing the door, but Shaun wouldn't budge.

He shook his head and spoke in a softened tone. "I know and I'm sorry. But if I had told you who I truly was from the beginning, would you have let me get close to you? Would you have given me a chance?"

The first answer to come to mind was no and I bit my lip, torn between anger and a small spark of understanding.

"I didn't lie to you because I wanted to," Shaun continued. "I lied because I had to. But now I regret it and I want to set things right."

I sighed, asking myself what to do until I spotted a man with a camera on the otherside of the street, strolling towards the house.

I quickly yanked the door open. "Get in."

Shaun looked surprised by the sudden change of heart, but he didn't question it. Just stepped into the foyer and I shut the door behind him.

Moving to the nearest window, I pushed the curtain aside. The man with the camera didn't seem to have noticed Shaun. He walked past, watching the house closely like he wanted something. I let the curtain fall back in place. "You know, you have some nerve showing up here after the paparazzi released those pictures of us."

"There was nothing wrong with those pictures. They were innocent." Shaun tucked his hands into his hoodie pocket.

"Well, my bandmates didn't see that way." I led him into the kitchen to get him some refreshments. "Eden thought you were some secret hookup."

Shaun's lips quirked up into a smug smile as he perched himself on an island stool. "Well, I can't say I blame her. I do have that irresistible charm," he joked, attempting to lighten the mood.

I shot him a glare. "It isn't funny."

He sobered up immediately. "You're right. I'm sorry."

I reached into the fridge and pulled out a pitcher of *asaana, the chilled maize drink Pam had made the day before. One major perk of living in my sister's house was that there was always something homemade to eat or drink. I poured us both a glass and set one in front of him. "What do you want, Shaun? Why are you here?"

He took a sip of his drink, visibly savouring it. "To tell you everything about myself. It's the least I could do to make up for the lies." Shaun's eyes guiltily met mine as he set his glass down. "I'm not a bad person, Tara. Yeah, I've made some questionable decisions. But from my perspective, they seemed right at the time."

"Why did they seem right?" I asked, eager to get some answers. "Aside from Declan, what is about you that made you decide that you had to keep it all hidden?"

Shaun took another swig of his drink, thinking hard. "My family is fucked up."

My eyebrows flew up. "Excuse me?"

"Many people think that once you're running a successful business and you have a shitload of money, all your problems in life are solved. But the truth is, they're not." His expression changed into a pensive one. "If anything, it only makes your life worse. I can't remember the last time we had dinner as a family without my dad or Declan turning it into some sort of business meeting. And that's not all. We each have our individual problems that inadvertently affect us as a whole."

Shaun sucked in a deep breath. "Declan hates his mother's guts, even though she's trying so hard to reach out to her son. But he avoids her like the plague and calls her "the curse of the Perez family" without realising how lucky he is that his mother is still alive. My dad has made it his sworn duty not to care about anything except business and Carmen..." He huffed. "Carmen shops as if her life depends on it. She squanders all my dad's money on stuff I've never seen her use; she acts like she owns the entire world, and then there's me." Shaun paused, staring at his drink. "The only person pretending that all this isn't happening and trying to make the best out of my life."

For a minute, I sat there, eyebrows pinched together in concern. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I mean, it's not like it will change anything." He shook his head, emptied his glass, and poured himself a refill.

I brought my glass to my lips. My mind still pondered over the many things he said. I had to admit, it was a lot to take in. I didn't think he'd be so unhappy with his family. The more I thought about it, the more I understood why he wanted to keep everything from me. However, I still wanted to find out more.

"If you don't mind me asking, earlier," I started. "You mentioned that Declan hates his mother's guts. Why?"

"She cheated on my dad," Shaun bluntly stated. "With my cousin."

My jaw just dropped. "Your cousin? Are you serious?"

"Yeah." Shaun nodded, a grim expression on his face. "It was a huge scandal. The number one trending topic in Mexico even after the divorce was finalized. Four years later, that was when my dad married my mum." He paused, his hand going to the locket around his neck, almost instinctively. He touched it gently, his eyes softening. "Grace Ancira-Perez."

He caught me staring at the hand touching his locket, and he quickly pulled it away.

"What happened to her?"

Shaun hesitated before responding."She died." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "There was this car accident. They said the brakes stopped working and..."

He wasn't crying, but I could see pain carving patterns on his face. Pain I was very much familiar with and before I knew it, my hand was covering his on the table.

"You don't have to finish it," I said softly, looking right into those exceptionally beautiful eyes of his.

We just sat there, staring at each other. Blinking wasn't even an option. He couldn't read my mind, but I knew he sensed it—the pain I had from Papa's death. It was the same kind he carried after his mother's death. He flipped his hand over, capturing mine in a warm grasp that sent tingles up my spine.

"Thank you," he said in a barely audible voice.

I squeezed his hand gently in response and gave him a warm smile. The air between us seemed to thicken with erratic heartbeats and unspoken emotions. Slowly, Shaun leaned forward, his eyes never leaving mine. I could feel his breath, warm and steady, lingering with mine. All the blood rushed through my heart and my veins. I knew what was coming, but I couldn't stop it because my entire body wanted it. 

The world outside faded, leaving just the two of us in this fragile moment. His lips were just a hair's breadth away from mine, and I closed my eyes, ready to feel them...

"Yo T!" The front door slammed shut and my eyes immediately flew open, face flushed.

Shaun straightened up, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Tara! You here?" My brother-in-law called out again.

"Yeah." I slipped off the barstool and moved into the living room where Nando had bent over, setting Keke down. She immediately scurried away.

"You're home early," I said and Nando shook his head.

"Nah, just stopped by to drop Keke. Pam's working late so..." His vision trailed behind me and his eyebrows dipped low. "Oh, I didn't know you had company."

I turned to find Shaun standing in the kitchen archway, saluting Nando. "Sr. Martinez."

"Shaun." He nodded then his questioning gaze flickered to me.

"Oh, he was just leaving. Right Shaun?" I quickly blurted. Nando could not find out that I almost kissed him.

"Yyeah," he stammered and drew closer but not before the loud Spongebob theme song distracted all of us.

"¡Keke, cuántas veces te lo he dicho!" Nando frowned. "No TV before homework. Now turn it off."

"Awn," she groaned but still put the TV off.

"Would you mind keeping an eye on her? And make sure she does her homework."

"No problem, Nando," I smiled at him. "She's good hands."

"Great." He pulled out his pick-up's keys from his pocket. "I'm heading back to the precinct. Shaun, if you don't mind, I can give you a ride."

"Oh uhh sure." 

Nando headed towards the door, leaving Shaun at my side. He turned to me. "So, am I forgiven?"

I sucked in a breath,  not sure how to respond. But then my subconscious didn't hesitate to remind me that I'd almost kissed him and it wouldn't make sense to almost kiss someone you were still mad at.  

Shaun stared at me, expectantly waiting for that positive answer and I sighed, "Yeah, you are."

A relieved grin spread across his face. "Thanks..." he paused then added, "I'll text you later then?"

"Sure," I replied, a small smile tugging at my lips.  

He shot me one last smile before darting past the front door Nando had left open. Then I walked over to the curtain, watching as he hopped into Nando's pick-up truck and it sped off.

****
*asaana - a traditional Ghanaian beverage, typically made from fermented maize (corn). The process of making asaana involves fermenting maize grains, which are then boiled and sweetened, usually with caramelized sugar. The result is a slightly tangy, sweet drink with a unique flavour profile.