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17. CONFESSIONS


They had spent the entire night talking, crying, arguing and confessing.

Tim sat on their bed and stares at the floor of their once happy bedroom. A bedroom once filled with lovemaking and planning for their future. He was exhausted, both physically and emotionally.

A lot had been said that night and both knew it was over.

There were no tears in her eyes as she packed her belongings. Jenika had had enough of living a lie. It wasn't fair to Tim and it wasn't fair to her.

She was through lying. She loved Tim but she loved Nate more. Tim had the connections she needed. He knew of all the right people to get her music career started. She felt guilty in using him in that way so it was time to let him go.

Tim had confessed that he had feelings for someone else but never revealed who. Mainly because this certain someone did not know of his feelings. It wasn't fair to Jenika and it was tearing him apart. Kissing her but imagining it was this certain someone in his mind.

Even though they still cared for one another, it wasn't the love they once knew.

"Well, I guess this is it." Jenika says as she closes her suitcase. She looks around the bedroom to make sure that she hadn't forgotten anything.

"Yeah, I guess so." Tim says quietly, nodding slightly as he continues to stare at the floor. 

"I've already talked to Luke. I told him that I was resigning as tour manager. I just didn't feel comfortable keeping the job." Jenika says. "He's supposed to tell the others."

Tim nods as he takes off his glasses and lays them aside, rubbing his tired bloodshot eyes.

"Tim." Jenika says softly as she sits down on the bed beside him, taking him by the hand. "Go tell him how you feel."

Tim snaps his head around and looks at her.

"Oh? You didn't think I knew?" Jenika says with a smile. "Tell him, Tim."

"I can't." Tim says, his voice breaking as his eyes fill with tears.

~~

(on the bus)

"That's terrible." Rob says as they all try to let the news of Tim and Jenika's break-up sink in.

"I mean, I could tell that Nate had a crush on Jenika but I never thought he'd act on it." Austin says angrily, shaking his head.

"It takes two to tango." Chance says. "I know that for a fact. When Sami and I first started seeing each other, everyone was pointing their finger at Sami. Blaming her for mine and Jasmina's break-up. But I was just as guilty. So I'm sure that Jenika had her part in this. I stay with Tim and Jenika whenever I'm in town and for the last few times everything just seemed different. They seemed very distant. I guess I know why now."

"Is Nate gonna continue working as Merchandise Manager? It would be a shame to lose him. He's very good at what he does." Rob says.

"I guess it all depends on how things are between him and Tim. Tim is our main concern." Luke says.

"Where is Tim?" Adam asks quietly from where he had been sitting.

"He's on his way. He's been up all night so he's running a little late." Luke answers. "I'm sure he won't be in the best of moods so just him space, alright?"

They all hush as the door of the bus opens and Tim walks onto the bus carrying a couple of his bags. The shower he had taken before leaving did not help his looks much. His eyes were red and swollen from the crying and lack of sleep. He looked drained from exhaustion.

He stops and looks around at everyone. He felt embarrassed. He knew that they all knew and were probably discussing it before he interrupted.

"No need to stop talking on my account." Tim says, his voice slightly hoarse. 

"How are you, Tim?" Rob asks softly with an honest look of concern on his face.

"I'm alright." Tim says, forcing a smile as he heads back to the bunks.

Tim throws his bags on an unclaimed bunk. As he raises up, he glances at the bunk above his. A picture on the wall catches his attention. A picture of a happy family.

A lump rises in his throat as he stares at the smiling faces. He heads back to the back lounge area. He just needed to be alone.

"He's hurting." Austin says quietly once Tim was out of hearing distance.

The others nod as Adam stands from his seat.

"Where are you going?" Luke asks.

"He may need someone to talk to. We've always been able to talk to each other when we have problems." Adam answers before heading to the back of the bus.

Tim sat on the couch, biting at his fingernails as he stares mindlessly out the window.

"You know that's a bad habit, right?" Adam smiles as he sits down on the couch next to the bass man.

"I know." Tim replies softly as he hangs his head and drops his hand to his lap.

"You want to talk about it? We've always been able to talk about our problems with each other." Adam says.

"I don't know if I can this time." Tim sighs as he looks back out the window.

"I'm really sorry about you and Jenika." Adam says as he rubs his friend on the back.

"Oh, it's been going downhill for sometime now. I knew it was going to end." Tim says.

"Really?" Adam asks, confusion on his face.

"When you're in a marriage but you both are in love with someone else, it's destined to fail." Tim says as he leans his head against the window.

"Wait. I know about Jenika and Nate, but you too?" Adam asks.

"Unfortunately, yes." Tim answers as he watches the scenery pass by the window.

"Okay? I'm totally confused. If you're in love with someone else then why are you so sad. You can be with them now." Adam says.

"I can't." Tim says, shaking his head as he glances around at the beatboxer.

"Why?" Adam asks.

"Two things." Tim says with a light chuckle. "One, they don't know and two, they're happily married."

"Oh. I guess that could be a problem." Adam says with a nod.

"Yeah." Tim sighs as he leans his head back against the window. "It is."

"I'm so sorry, Tim." Adam says as he pulls the brunette into a hug.

Tim wraps his arms around Adam as he begins to cry on the blonde's shoulder.

Adam holds him until he begins to gain control.

"I truly hope it all works out for you. I really hate seeing you like this. I can only imagine the pain you're going through." Adam says as they pull apart. He reaches out and wipes a tear from Tim's cheek. Before he realizes what he was doing, he leans in and kisses Tim gently on the cheek.

Tim's eyes widen as he reaches up and touches his cheek.

"Oh, God. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." Adam stands quickly from the couch. "I guess I need to go."

"No, wait." Tim says as he reaches up grabbing Adam's hand and pulls him back down on the couch.

Without a second thought, Tim's leans in and kisses Adam softly on the lips. This time, it was Adam's eyes that widen. He knew he should pull away but the softness of Tim's lips was too inviting.

Tim breaks the kiss and they stare into each other's eyes.

"Oh." Adam whispers as he places his hand on his lips. The realization sinking in.

"It's you, Adam." Tim says softly.

**********

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