Kamryn,

I wake up to the sound of my alarm on my phone. I got a good nights rest and Im feeling energized. I do my morning stretches and put on my black VS bra and panties. Today I feel like light brown, so I slipped on my tan blouse and light Abercrombie jeans with my tan thong sandals with a white flower on it. I flat ironed my hair that stopped right below my shouldlers and parted it in the middle.

I don't wear make up so, I just put on my chapstick and pop in my Pearl earrings. I find it really nice to have a style like I do. But I don't have No one to show it off to. I think I wanna be a model. Im tall enough, I believe. Im 5'7 and very petite. I have hips and little junk in my trunk but I don't have much to say about my boobs. At least I have some. I also don't have much to hold when I run on the treadmill when I go to the gym.

I twirl in my body mirror one last time before grabbing my purse, keys, backpack, and phone and heading out the door.

"See you later ma, love you." I say kissing her cheek.

"I love you too. Have a great day at school, baby." She mumbles in her sleep. I just smiled and slowly shut her bedroom door.

I hop inside my silver Lexus that my dad bought me on my 17th birthday. Using my GPS to guide me to school, I jam to my music playlist on my phone through the speakers.

Parking my car, I take a deep breath.

"New school, new Year, new me." I say to myself before grabbing my purse, backpack, and phone and getting out then locking the doors.

Stepping into the big school was over welming. I instantly got the chills and didn't know how I was going to fufill my "New school, new Year, need me" resolution. Every step I took made my stomach churn and I got the jitters. It was alot more people here than back at my old school who I thought had the biggest school in the world. I guess I was wrong.

As I made it to my locker, all eyes were on me. Girls whispering and guys giving me the creeps. As I turned my back to open my locker, I felt as If there was ants on my back from all the awkward stares. Am I ugly? Do I have something on my face? Is there something wrong with me? What did I do? I was on the verge of going back in my car and never coming back out. I feel like everyone is talking trash about me already.

"Breathe, Kamryn. You got this," I whispered to myself and I grabbed my psychology book, purse, schedule, and my binder. "I got this." I assured myself with a little confidence and enthusiasm as I Shut my locker. The guy next to me just looked at me weird but Hey, I have dealt with people like him all my life.

My first hour is Psychology, which happened to be right across the hall of my locker. I smiled for the little coincidence.

"Already to a great start." I mumble under my breath as I enter the class room. I bumped into a guy wearing an all white suit and nearly knocked him over.

"Oh, Im so sorry. I didn't mean to-" I started to apologize but he cut me off. My face was glowing red of embarrassment.

"It's okay, excuse me." He smiled and walked around me.

I found me a seat in the back of the classroom and was ready for class to start. I must admit that I came a little early but it's not like I have any place to be.

As I sit in the back of the classroom watching the students file in, I found myself staring at the guy in the front of the classroom. I wonder what's he doing up there and why he's wearing a suit. Where's the teacher? On my schedule, it says that our teacher is named Mrs. Jones.

Interrupting my thoughts, the bell rings and still No sign of the teacher. I was too busy trying to figure out where the teacher was that I didn't realize everyone staring at me and whispering. Some a few glaces and then back to the smirks. Im not the kind of ghetto girl to go off whenever she hears someone talking about her because my parents taught me different. But just know that If you put your hands on me, I have the power to do some damage. I took self defense classes and my father taught me how to box. Suddenly, someone cleared their throat and we all looked to see that same guy standing infront of the class.

"Ooh, he is fine.." Some girl a few seats from me whispered to her friend. I agree with her but She's probably wanting do very inappropriate things to him. The guy smirked as If he knew what she had said.

"Wassup everyone, my name is Christopher Brown. But you can call me Mr. Brown. Im 23, and will be filling in for Mrs. Jones who has retired. Im a student teacher so we will have the replacement for her joining us soon. Now, before we get started with today's lesson, do you have any questions?" Said the finest teacher in history. A student teacher!? He looks too good to be a teacher. He has a beautiful smile. Im going to have trouble with my shyness in this class.

"Why you got on that white suit?" Asked a guy from the front of the class.

"I have a wedding to go to After school, actually. But what's wrong with it?" Mr. Brown responded.

"You're bright" the boy laughed. A few people found the joke funny but he kind of came weak with that one.

"Any other questions?" Mr. Brown asked.

"Whose wedding are you going to?" Another girl asked.

"Mine." He smiled and everyone looked shocked.

"Well, Congrats Mr.Brown." the girl said.

"Thank you" he responded. Loosening his tie, I can see the tattoos that covered his neck and on his wrists. I was curious about him now. So, I raised my hand. "Yes, ma'am"

"Umm... What college do you go to?" I asked nervously. Everyones eyes were on me and I felt uncomfortable.

"UCLA, I'll be graduating this year," He stated. I smiled at the fact that he's going to my dream school. "What college are you thinking about to?" He asked.

"UCLA, it's my dream." I blushed and he smiled.

"Of course it is." That girl a couple seats away from me whispered. A few people laughed but Mr. Brown didn't hear it. I just dropped my head and shut up. Im not sure If he notice my change in mood or my rosey cheeks of embarrassment.

"Okay, let's get started," he handed out some papers and when he got to me, I avoided eye contact and looked at the floor.

------

"Great." I whispered sarcastically to myself as I walked out of first hour. The tension in that class was so strong that I almost suffocated.

By lunchtime, I was tired with school already. No one want to be my partner in Anatomy and everyone avoided me on their team in gym. I had to use the wall to play with myself. I really don't care but it makes me feel bad that it's the first day and not one person likes me.

I approach the cafeteria and wait in line to get my food. Nothing in here looked healthy just like back at home so I just buy some fries and that's all I want. I'll get a lemon Dasani water and a banana too I guess.

As I walked away with my tray, Im having trouble finding a seat. Everywhere I go they give me a look of disgust or they tell me it's saved for someone else. When I turned around to look some where else, I bumped into the girl from class and she laughed as my tray fell and my fries covered the floor.

"Oops." The girl said sarcastically.

"Im sorry." I apologized.

"Watch where the hell you going, bitch." She said watching me pick up the fries.

"You don't have to be a jerk, I said I was sorry." I said fighting back tears.

"The fuck she crying for? I ain't even touch her ass and she already scared." The girl mocked. Her friends laughed at me and everyone began looking at me.

I threw away the fries and grabbed my banana and water. Attempting to leave the cafeteria, the girl tripped me and I fell face first on the ground. I felt my lip to see that I was bleeding. I looked around to see everyone laughing at me but not one person came to help. Tears streams down my face and I left my dignity in that cafeteria as I ran to my car crying my eyes out. I decided to stay until lunch was over with.

------

The rest of the school day was dreadful. Pre-Calc was nothing but work, Criminal Law was kind of interesting, and English was nothing but writing. I couldn't wait until that bell rung.

I traveled to my locker and was once again swarmed with eyes and whispering. Someone tapped my shoulder and I turned to see a group of boys.

"Wassup, ma?" One boy said. I rolled my eyes continued to grab my things."Damn, who fucked your lip up?" Another asked, causing them to laugh.

"The floor!" A girl yelled from across the hall and made everyone in the hallway laugh. I slammed my locker Shut and speed walked out the school fighting back tears and rushing home in my car.

I ran in the house letting out all my tears and busting into my room, slamming the door. I cried and cried. My momma came in and held me as I cried. She rocked me which usually makes me fall asleep but this time it just calmed me.

"What's wrong, baby?" My mother calmy asked.

"They hate me! They all hate me! But why mom?! Whyyyyy?!" I cried. My mom shed a tear and I can tell she was upset. She wiped my tears and sat me up. Once she seen my lip, anger took over her.

"What the hell happened to your face? Now, don't you dare lie to me." She semi yelled in a motherly voice. As a concerned mother should she gave me that look.

I took a deep breath before speaking, "Some girl tripped me and I had something in my hands. Momma please don't do anything, Im fine." I pleaded After the confession.

"Kamryn, you listen to me. And you listen to me real good. You are 19, a grown ass woman. I don't want you dealing with little kids. Im calling the principal." She stated.

"No! Theyre going to call me a snitch!" I shouted.

"Watch your tone when you speak to me and I don't care what they say. They're not the ones with a busted lip." She explained.

"You don't understand. You're not the one who's going through it." I hissed. She smacked me and I held my face in shock. My mom has never smacked me in her life.

"You done lost your damn mind! Don't tell me shit about life, you hear me? Ive been through way worse than you have so stop trying to make me look like a bad guy. I was just like you. Everyone hated me and I didn't have any friends. I was called the neighborhood slut when I got pregnant by your father so don't tell me I don't understand!! My parents kicked me out but I never kept you away from them because I love you. I can't help you with what's going on because I never got away from it. Your father just decided to marry me and everyone still talked shit. I know it's hard. But Im only human and I don't know what to do but try to protect you." She burst into tears and I hugged her tightly.

We spent the whole night talking about how I feel at school and how I can try to avoid the evil stares. My mother loves me and I can't believe that I accused her of being misunderstanding.

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