Grieving is a necessary passage and a difficult transition to finally letting go of sorrow - it is not a permanent rest stop.  ~Dodinsky

I woke up and it dark, I could faintly hear snoring right next to me. I carefully untangled myself from Jasper and was glad he asleep so he couldn’t see the blush on my cheeks. I had never been in a relationship with a guy because of my job as an assassin/spy but something kept tugging my heart every time I was around him. He had stayed with me for the last few nights as I kept waking up from nightmares but each day the nightmares were getting harder to remember.

It was Monday and I began getting ready for school. I took a fast shower and changed, when I came out I noticed Jasper was still sleeping and I smiled lightly at him. I walked over to him and shook him lightly and he opened his eyes and smiled, and for some reason I blushed. He touched my cheek lightly and I could feel my face turning redder.

“Red it a pretty color on you,” he said and I slapped his hand away turning to hide my tomato colored face. He laughed and I felt him wrap his arms around my waist pulling me close to him, he kissed the back of my head before leaving.

I got my school stuff ready and walked to the secret door that connected to Jocelyn’s room. I sat down at the piano bench and began to play just random things that came to mind and smiled as my fingers flew over the keys and I felt free.

“How long have you been playing the piano?” Jasper asked all of a sudden making me jump.

“Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” I asked putting my hand over my pulsating heart.

“You should’ve felt my presence; looks like your skills are getting rusty.” He said rolling his eyes. He handed me coffee and I smiled as I tasted the cinnamon and caramel taste fill my mouth. We headed to school and I saw Isabel looking at me, when our eyes connected she began glaring at me.

“Hey, I’ll see in first period,” I said to Jasper and he raised an eyebrow but said nothing. I began turning away but he grabbed my hand and pulled me back and kissed my forehead causing me to blush. There were people in the hallways looking at us curiously and others had their jaws dropped.

“See you then,” he said walking away and I turned around looking for Isabel. I found her in the music room I had been in and she was there looking at an acoustic guitar longingly. I walked behind her and she never took her eyes off the guitar.

“I have never really liked playing the piano, I’ve always loved playing the guitar, and it reminded me of my mother who passed five years ago. My father hated it and forced me to play the piano, it hurts him when I play the guitar, and I can see it in his eyes.” She said and brushed her hand across the guitar.

“It hurts you not to play the guitar,” she turned around and looked at me with sad eyes.

“What was your excuse for stopping playing the piano?” she asked and my eyes darkened.

“It reminded me too much of my old friend.” I said not lying to her but not telling her the full truth. She didn’t question me any further but smiled lightly.

“Your parents must be proud, what did they say about you stopping?” she asked and I felt uneasy, no one ever talked about where they came from or about their family, I mean I know everyone’s story and they know part of mine, but it was an uncomfortable subject.

“My parents are dead,” I said simply and she gasped covering her mouth just as the bell rang. I nodded and said a quick bye before sprinting out the door. I ran to first period and sat in my seat. I hadn’t thought about my parents since I was young. It was one of the clearest memories I had before I was an orphan. I leaned my head in the desk and I blocked out everyone.

I find it annoying when I want the day to go super slow so I don’t have to talk to Isabel 3rd block and all my classes go super quick. When I want the day to go by quick, it goes ultra slow I mean like what the heck?

“Mads, are you alright?” Jasper asked me knocking me out of trance. I nodded and he said nothing as we walked to our class with Isabel. We walked in and I sat on a single person couch and Jasper put me on his lap again. I made my way to move but he held me back and I sighed not putting up a fight. I saw Isabel walk into the classroom and she walked right up to us.

“Madison, I am so sorry, I had no idea,” she said looking guilty and I shrugged.

“It’s no big deal, it’s in the past now,” I said and I could feel Jasper’s eyes on me.

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to pry but can I ask what happened to your parents?” she asked and my body tensed ready to go into flight mode.

“That’s not really a question you should be asking,” Jasper said snaking his arms around my waist and pulling me into his chest more.

“No, its okay,” I told Jasper and took a deep breath. I don’t have to tell her all the details just keep it simple.

“My parents died when I was four, we were in a plane and we were getting ready to land. I know it was just a freak accident and super rare and unlikely to occur but something went wrong as we started to land. We were on our way to Seattle, Washington for my mother’s piano concert and-”

“Your mother was a pianist?” Jasper and Isabel asked simultaneously.

“Yes, a good one at that, she was incredibly famous around the world but was overshadowed by other Artists in the United Sates. Like I was saying, we were getting ready to land and the plane began shaking,” I whispered the last word and closed my eyes tight trying to stop the memories from taking over.

“I remember the smell of something burning and the engine busted into flames, people began to panic and they had us all sit down and buckle our seatbelts. Some people had to get those masks that are supposed to help you breath and clam down but my parents had looked at me with a worried expression.”

The lights went out and I felt like I was dropping even if it was a short distance it was enough to do a lot of damage. The crash impact was something that I could never compare, the way your seatbelt dug into your skin and-” this time the bell had cut me off and I realized I was putting in too much detail and was far off from my “keep it simple,” plan.

“The plane crashed and I felt myself being taken out of the plane and it was my father. He went back to get my mother but the plane exploded and both my parents were killed instantly.” I said quickly trying to get this done with. I felt a little better talking about it because no one knew I remembered I became an orphan. I think Melinda has had suspicions but has never said anything.

“I was put in an orphanage pretty soon after that because I had no other family so I dropped my name and began a new life when I was adopted.” I said and noticed everyone was listening to my story intently. I felt a bit uncomfortable having people I don’t know, actually know my past that I never told anyone else besides Jocelyn.

“Wow,” was everyone’s reply when I finished.

“Alright class since today is Monday and your all still real out of it, you guys can just do whatever for the rest of the class period,” Ms. Mew said and walked away. I saw a tear roll down her cheek and I wasn’t sure if anyone else saw that but I didn’t bring it up.

“Thank you for telling me,” Isabel said with true sincerity. She left to go to the bathroom to wash her face since her mascara began running when she started crying when I told her my past. Jasper was quiet for a while and leaned his chin of my head.

“Did you blame yourself for your parents’ death?” he asked and my breath hitched. He pulled me away so he could see my face and frowned when he saw my guilty face.

“At first, Jocelyn had managed to convince me it wasn’t my fault and I believe her,” I said simply truly believing that.

“Do you still believe her not coming back was your fault too?” he asked and I took a while to answer.

“I don’t think I am, I mean I can’t feel a little guilty because it was my job to make sure everyone came back,” I explained and he nodded his. The rest of the day was quick as well and next thing I knew we were home. We were watching the newest remake of Mission Impossible when the doorbell rang.

“Huh, I guess the girls are back from their mission early, or Melinda’s back early,” I said out loud and I grabbed my empty glass to get ready to refill after I answer the door.

“Hey-” I started but stopped and my glass cashed to the floor. My jaw dropped and my I swear my heart stopped for a moment.

“Expecting someone else?” the red head asked. Her dark natural wavy red hair flowed just passed her shoulders, her ivory skin glowed in the light and her light pink lips curved into a smirk.

“Mads?” Jasper asked as he walked over to me. He looked at the girl confused and she arched an eyebrow at me.

“So quick to replace your best friend and partner?” she asked and Jasper’s eyes went wide.

“Jocelyn?” he asked shocked and the girl I thought I left behind in Pakistan grinned.