That was the most awkward car drive I’ve ever been in. Actually, the awkwardness was one sided because every time I would steal a glance toward Ken he was wearing that smug look on his face. He was whistling happily ever since he stopped his small, shiny black luxury car on the side of the road. Don’t ask me to describe the car any further because that’s as far my knowledge on cars go. The only reason why I knew it was a luxury car was because it belonged to Ken McCall.

Once he reached me he bowed down mockingly then, offered his hand to me. I was a little reluctant at first but it wasn’t as if I had any other option. My father was still at work and Roxie had dance practice. I didn’t know anybody else in this city so I was trap with Satan. It was either that or freeze on the side of the road. I placed my hand in his and he walked me to his car. He opened the passenger door for me and waited till I was seated to close it. With a deep breath I took in the interior of his vehicle. Fluorescent lights illuminate the wheel and everything else behind it. A sweet ginger aroma sharpened my senses. The seat felt like smooth cushion underneath my body. I was still trying to calm my shaking hands when I heard the driver door opened.

“So? Where shall we go Milady?” He said with a horrific British accent.

”My house,” I rolled my eyes at him.

“Of course, and what music would Milady love to hear on this fine afternoon?” the accent was getting worse by the second.

“One more night, and drop the stupid accent.” I took my phone to text my dad about what happened. He’ll know what to do. I stopped texting when I heard the song that was booming in the car. It wasn’t what I asked for.

“What’s this?” I asked him confused. I thought I was the one choosing the song. Why ask for my opinion then completely disregard it?

“One More Night,” he stated simply.

“No, it’s not,” I listened to that song a hundred times. He couldn’t trick me.

“Yes, it is.” He sounded flustered, “there, it’s clear that’s Adam Levine’s voice.”

“What does he have to do with One More Night?” I was still confused and by the look on his face so was he.

“Well, it’s Maroon 5’s song and he’s the lead singer so…” he trailed.

“Oh,” I understood now. We were both right, we were just talking about two different songs. “When I said One More Night, I was talking about the one Phil Collins not the Maroon 5 one.” I smiled at him.

“Oh,” he laughed then it dropped suddenly, “who’s Phil Collins?”

I raised an eyebrow in utter shock at him. His eyes did not leave the road; his lips still contained that self-satisfied smirk on them as if he hadn’t said anything out of the ordinary. I decided to let him find out the answer to his question on his own. I pulled out my headphones and blocked out everything with the angelic voice of Phil Collins in his upbeat song “Sussudio”.

However, not everything was completely blocked out by the music. My heart was hammering in my chest with Ken’s proximity and the soft feeling of the car did not ease anything. It just made me more aware of the person next to me. I was so thankful when I saw the car stopped in front of my house that I practically jumped out. Then, it hit me.

“How did you know where I live?” I asked cautiously. I already dealt with one stalker this week so I didn’t need another one. No matter how terrible I thought Ken was, I knew he wouldn’t stoop that low. He didn’t have to.

“A little birdy told me,” he replied picking up his happy whistle again. He walked me to the door but he didn’t act like he was leaving anytime soon.

“Um, this is my house. I’m here. Thank you,” I tried to hint as subtly as I could that was as far our little adventure would lead him but just stared at me.

“You’re welcome,” he smiled not moving an inch.

“You’re not coming in,” I cut to the chase.

“Why not?” He whined.

“Because I said so,” I told him gently as if he speaking to a child.

He pouted. I frowned. After a couple of seconds he seemed to let it go. He dropped a kiss on my cheek before leaving. I was awestruck not because of the kiss but rather because of his arrogance. He just assumed that everyone wanted him. I didn’t.

I went inside to find my dad snoring on the couch. It seemed like the man hated sleeping on his own bed.  The long day was enough to make me hungry but with the awkward ride with the obnoxious jerk of the school in there I was famished beyond control. I headed to the kitchen but quickly change my direction to my bedroom once I felt my dad stir behind me. I was avoiding him. He wanted to discuss the future but I was too scared of it to even think about it. I heard him snoring again so I went back to the kitchen. I grabbed a coke and the bowl with the leftovers and ran to my bedroom. But, it was certainly not my day.

“Nikkie, is that you?” I heard my dad’s voice coming from the living room still thick with sleep.

I had the urge to just keep walking and act like I didn’t hear anything but I knew that was the childish way out. My father was hurting and me avoiding him was just like digging a fresh wound hoping it would heal on its own.

“Yes, dad.” I turned around with my food to go to him. He was rubbing his bloodshot eyes.

“When did you get here?” He pat the place next to him signaling for me to sit.

“Not too long ago,” I focused my eyes on the bowl trying to delay the seriousness that this conversation was bound to take.

“How was your day?” he asked quietly.

“Good,” I answered quickly. I needed to get it over with.

For the second time today I was surrounded by awkwardness and I didn’t know what to do about it.

My dad cleared his throat, “listen Nikkie, you don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine. We all have to die at some point. It just happening than any of us had hoped for.”

“You don’t have to die. The paper said there were treatments we could try,” I blurred out. I was sobbing my eyes out. I’ve never been an emotional person so all the crying that I’ve been doing lately will probably overload my brain. “You can’t die. You can’t leave me too.” I placed my hand on my mouth trying to stop my sobs.

“I don’t want to leave you, pumpkin.” He pulled me into a hug, “neither did your mother but we can’t escape our faith.”

That broke the dam that was preventing my tears to flow freely. A waterfall was pouring out of my eyes. I didn’t want to think about that again. I lost one parent; I didn’t want to lose another one. How was that fair?

“It’s not fair.” I said out loud in-between sobs.

“Life is not fair,” my dad’s voice came out husk as if he was holding in his tears. “Don’t worry, you can live your dreams without me. You’re going to go to another state, study, become the fabulous writer you’ve always dreamed of. I don’t want you to worry about anything. I will be just fine on my own.” He pulled out of the hug and smiled at me but it didn’t reach his eyes.

I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand, “I already told you. I’m not going anywhere. I can become a writer without leaving home. I’ll just enroll in Washing State University instead of an out of state one. It’s not that far from here so I can stay here and take care of you. ”

“I’m your father. I’m supposed to take care of you, not the other way around.” I looked up to see tears running down his face. I haven’t seen so many emotions at once flooding on my father’s face since mom’s funeral. His eyes were filled with sadness, love, and happiness. Why was he happy? Our life was going down the drain. However, that wasn’t the most shocking one. There was guilt, it overwhelmed him. Maybe he was feeling guilty about me having to stay here instead of living in a dorm to have a full college experience.

“I’ll be fine here, don’t worry. Going to a different state with no one with me was a stupid idea anyway. I’m sure it’s for the best.”

Instead of disappearing, the guilt on his face had aggravated. I was about to ask him about it when he got off his seat and kissed me on the forehead. “Goodnight, Nikkie.”

“Goodnight, dad,” I replied as he made his way to his bedroom. He was hiding something else. I needed to find out what it was. I wanted to make that he knew that whatever else he was going through, he didn’t have to go through it alone. I was here for him. We were family and family stick together.

I turned on the television and went back to my leftovers. As I was getting ready to eat, I realized I forgot the spoon. I was already comfortable on the couch so I decided against getting up. My stomach sided with the universe to make my life a living hell. As I lay down, it began to growl furiously making groaned in frustration. There was no way I would be sleeping with that noise. I dragged my feet to the kitchen to fetch the spoon then dropped back into the couch. I grabbed the bowl of lasagna and popped my feet on the table. I spent most of the night watching reruns of Full house until I felt sleep overtaking me. I went to my bedroom and fell asleep dreaming about white blood cells dragging me into a black hole.