“I think you should ask him out?” Roxie deducted from the detailed narration about my meeting with Ken that she squeezed out of me when I took my driving test. She didn’t even feel ecstatic for my accomplishment just about the fact that I spoke to that jerk once.

“I only spoke to him once in my entire life,” I opposed.

“So?” She asked as if I was missing a huge piece of the equation, “that’s more than most girls he ever went out with.”

“Ken doesn’t go out with anybody. He simply sleep with them then disregard them like trash.” I reminded her.

“Come on, Nikkie,” she whined, “at least try.”

“Why? Why? Give me one big reason why I should ask out the biggest jerk I’ve ever met.” I demanded with my hands on my hips. I knew someone else who was running quite close for the jerkiest person category.

“Because you need a little change in your life. You can’t sit there and mop around for the entire year. I know you’re very stress right now about the situation with your dad but it will be oaky. Besides, your father would be ecstatic to see his little girl happy before…” She instantly stopped when she realized where her words were leading her.

“Why him? Why can’t it be somebody else?” I decided to not let the subject settle on my father’s illness and judging by the grateful look Roxie gave me, I could guess that was not something she wanted to talk about either.

“Because he’s the only boy who…” she trailed off uncomfortably.

“Who what? He’s the only boy who has ever taken an interest in me.” I finished for her.

“Well, is there?” she asked me.

“Is there what Roxie” I sighed. I was getting tired of this conversation. I had better things to do than to discuss who likes who.

“Don’t be coy Nikkie. Is there another boy?” she scowled.

“Of course not, but…” I attempted to justify my reluctance but she was not having none of it.

“Then it’s settled you’re going to ask Ken McCall out.” She said leaving no room for objections. I groaned my frustration at her but she didn’t budge. “Come on, my brothers are coming soon. I need to have food ready or they will make a feast out of us.”

I followed her silently toward the kitchen. I heard the front door open as we passed the living room. I waved at Kyle as he entered.

“Hi, Kyle,” I smiled at him. His head swiftly rose up when he heard my voice. He blushed scarlet as his eyes met mine.

“H-hi!” he stuttered. He rushed to his room bumping into some furniture on his way up.

Weird. I went to find Roxie in the kitchen, “What did you tell your brother about me?” I asked while getting the chicken out of the fridge.

“Nothing, why?” She was cleaning the countertop to chop the vegetables.

“He’s been acting weird lately.” I explained

“He’s my little brother. When has he not been acting weird?” She reminded me.

“Point taken,” I smiled at her then went back to cooking. I was overthinking this. These past few days have drawn out every dramatic bones in my body. Until a week ago, I thought I didn’t have any. I needed to follow Roxie’s suggestion; I can’t spend my senior year in the shadow like all of my previous years of high school even though it sounded extremely tempting.

I called my dad to tell him that I was staying at Roxie’s house for dinner so he could reheat the leftovers from last night. That’s the dinner he would have eaten even if I was there. I could hear the disappointment in his voice before I hang up. I knew he was hoping to discuss further our little talk from this morning but I was not ready to go in depth with my new life.

Dinner was a disaster because the boys wouldn’t stop talking and throwing food at each other. At some point they got into a screaming contest. My ear drums were to the edge of breaking by the time Mrs. Angus came home, thankfully. She knew how to make everyone act on their best behavior.

After dinner, Roxie and I went to her room to study. She made sure to lock the door after us as a way to tell Kyle that his presence was not welcome. Strangely enough, he took a hint. Usually he would spend the entire time standing outside banging on the door till Roxie had enough and we would go to my house.

I decided to go home before the sunset, not wanting to repeat history. Dad was already sleeping by the time I got there. I happily ran to my room trying hard to not wake him up. I loved my father but I’ve been walking with half closed eyelids for the entire way home therefore, I was in no shape for a long and meaningful conversation. Surprisingly enough, after I was done with my shower and was ready for bed, I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned for most of the night. When my alarm woke me up the next morning, I barely had two hours of sleep. I robotically performed my morning routine then went to cook breakfast at a snail pace.

“Good morning, pumpkin,” dad greeted me as a dropped a kiss on my forehead. “What are you cooking?”

“I don’t know,” I murmured.

“Bad night, huh,” he stated rather than asked.

“Mmmhh,” I could barely form a coherent sentence. I wondered how I was going to get through the rest of the day.

“Me too,” he sounded distant. “Listen, Nikkie we need to talk about this for more than five minutes. We need a plan.”

“But not now,” I stopped any further heart-to-heart.

He sighed, “Ok, later than.”

“Sure,” I turned off the stove and set the food in our plates.

Breakfast was dominated by an awkward silence and the clinking of our plates. I rushed it as much as possible so I could be out of the house. As soon as I was done, I placed my dirty dishes in the dishwasher and was out the door with a quick goodbye to my dad.

I think the stress was really getting to me because I skipped school once more. I’ve never even fantasized about not going to school but now it seemed like I was avoiding it like the plague. I had no idea where to go but I knew school was not an option. After a couple of minutes driving around town, I ended up at Aurora Park. I parked the car in front of it but I didn’t get out of. I sat inside looking at the people enjoying their free times. There was a happy little family feeding the ducks at the small lake. The little girl didn’t look older than five years old. She was gleefully sat on her father’s lap while he was whispering something in her ears. She laughed then ran to her mom who was by the ice cream stand.

A few steps away from them a couple was in full PDA mode. They didn’t seem to care where they were or who was watching until a cop emerged in front of them. They were giggling hysterically once the cop was gone then went back to kissing as if nothing happened. Young love is so wonderful and innocent. Although those two were already in their old age, my father told me as long as there is love in your heart you’ll always stay young and live forever. I’ve always told him that he was being unrealistic but watching this old couple acting all wild, free and in love, I wondered whether it was possible. Maybe love does allow us to stay young forever.

A knock in my window dragged me out of my sudden revelation. Why can’t that boy leave me alone?

“Aren’t you supposed to be in school?” teased the brown hair boy once I rolled my window down.

“I could ask you the same,” I countered.

“You could but everyone already know that school is not for me contrary to you who has perfect everything in school.” His smirk was growing by the second, “so why aren’t you in school little angel?”

“None of your business,” I spat at him before rolling the window back up and drove away.          

I drove to the school and kept driving. I turned off the AC then opened my window to feel the cold breeze caressing my face. My eyes drifted off the roads every time I passed a coffee shop. My mother was a coffee addict. Her day would be a living hell if she did not gulped down at least one coffee cup in the morning. That’s why my father was so danm good at making coffee. For us, coffee was essential to our survival as was oxygen because nobody had peace of mind when my mother was cranky. The first few weeks after she was gone, he used to crave it like crazy. He would go through a whole pack every other day. A bunch of his pals had to organize an intervention and many visits to a therapist for him to cease his self-destruction.

It was during that period that my depression became a prominent part of my life. Both of my parents were absent in my life. Jill, my father’s best friend, had been there for me but it wasn’t the kind of love I was aching for. However, everybody else thought I was doing wonderful since I never showed any emotion outside of the house. I was an extremely good actress for a kid just beginning elementary school.

Then came Roxie, she was the happiest sixth grader I’ve ever seen. Even though her father had left her family, she was still walking around like life was made up of rainbows and roses. She brought life into my life again and for that I will always be thankful.

An annoyingly long and obnoxious honk reaped me out of my daydreaming. I realized that my car was drifting in the wrong line. With a swift turn of the wheel I straighten the car back. I drove for about half of the day until I saw the big sign that read “Welcome to Spokane Valley”. I wanted to keep on driving but my car had other plans for me for it started to growl in the middle of the road. I glimpsed over the wheels to found the gas needle on E. I pulled over the side of the road to let the other cars go on their way. My car had perfect timing. How was I going to go back now?  As an answer to my question, my phone started blasting “I’m sexy and I know it” in the middle of the streets. Ughh, I hated this song which was precisely why Roxie chose it as my ringtones. I, being the lazy bum that I always was, kept forgetting to change it.

I hesitated to answer because I didn’t recognize the number but on second thought, it might be somebody who needs my help or could help me.

“Hello,” I answered politely.

“’Sup Tom?” replied a familiar voice.

“Sorry, you have the wrong number,” I said curtly and hung up without letting him respond. But, it didn’t look like he was giving up. My phone started ringing before I even had the chance to take it off my ear.

“What?” I snarled at him.

“How’s it going, Tom?” He sounded amused.

“Why do you keep calling me Tom?” I inquired still pissed off.

“Because you were peeping at the dancers when I saw you at the back of the school,” He explained. “Get it, Tom as in peeping Tom.”

“That wasn’t even remotely funny.” I can’t believe I was actually having a conversation with this jerk instead of finding help.

“Sure it was, for someone with a sense of humor which you don’t have, little miss perfect.” He mocked. Is it just me or is everyone using that word against me today?

“How did you get my number?” I sighed.

“I asked that little redhead who was with you yesterday,” he said simply like it was naturally to ask someone you just met for their friend’s phone number.

“She has a name you know. Did you bother asking her that?” I breathed loudly trying to get the frustration out of my system as he was putting it in. If I held it all in, I was prone to explode. Roxie taught me how to do that. Speaking of Roxie, I knew she getting ready to have a full on interview with me about Ken.

“Nope,” he said popping the p, “and I don’t care. I only wanted your phone number and I got it. Her voice is a little too chirpy for my taste anyways.”

“Too chirpy for your taste?” I was shouting in the side of the streets. Some drivers were throwing me curious glances while driving by. “This is my best friend you’re talking about insensitive jerk.”

“Calm down, if it makes you feel better I don’t bother knowing the name of any girl I’m not interested in which is good news for you since I did bother to get to know yours,” He answered.

Is he serious right now? That boy’s ego was bigger than the number of Asians inhabitant this planet. He seriously thought him liking me was a privilege rather than a disgusting burden that I wanted to get rid of as fast as possible.

“No, that does not make me feel better.” I yelled at him. I hung up once more not wanting to make a spectacle out of myself any more than I’ve already done. In and out. In and out. I needed to calm myself down. I desperately tried to stabilize my chaotic breathing. When I felt myself calming again, my phone rang once more. It was him again. Some people simply do not know how to take a hint. I was determined to not succumb to his impertinence but after the fourth call, I picked it up.

“What?” I didn’t bother trying to sound nice this time.

“Are you calm yet?” he asked innocently.

“What do you think, smart one?” I growled.

“Great, that’s a yes,” He laughed. “What are you doing later?”

“Not you, that’s for sure,” I said.

He laughed again, “Oh, you got jokes now.”

My feet were aching now. I wasn’t used to stand that long on them. At home, I was laying down or sitting.

“I don’t know what I’m doing later. The only thing I can think of now is how to get home,” I said glumly.

“Where are you?” He questioned.

“In front of the ‘Welcome to Spokane Valley’ sign. My car died on me,” I sighed.

“Ok, don’t move. I’m coming to get you.” This time he was the one who hung up on me. I was not happy about this prick coming to get me but I was so desperate to get out of here that I would have been okay with anything. While I waited for him to come to my rescue, I called my dad’s best friend, Jill, who owned a garage to come pick up my car. I had no intention of having it towed or robbed during the night.

As expected, she was here before jerkface, “What are you doing out there so late, little one?” said the woman in loose jeans and a worn out black Pink T-shirt hopping out of her tow truck. Her small frame and height has caused many misconceptions about her. She was a tough woman who went through an unfair amount of catastrophes in her life.

“My car died on me again.”

“Yeah, that kind of happen when the owner does not fill the tank with fuel.”

A blush crept along my cheeks causing me to acquire a sudden profound interest in the street lights.

“Calm down, little one. I’m just messing with you.” She patted me on the back with a loud laugh which ended with a string of hysterical snorts.

Yes, she was obviously an unorthodox woman but she’s been my father’s best friend since middle school. She even set him up with my mother. I’ve grew up to know her as my weird aunt that was constantly finding new ways to embarrass me.

“Do you want me to give you a ride home since there’s no way that thing is going to move on its own?”

No, I have a friend who’s coming to get me.” I can’t believe I called him a friend. Is he my friend? Nobody would give a ride home to people they don’t like, right? ...Unless, he was planning on trying something.

“Roxie?” She drew my attention back to her. Interest flashed into her eyes once I shook my head. “A boy?” She questioned tentatively.

I nodded but I wished I didn’t. A knowing smile prowled on her lips, “Does your father know about this?”

“No, it’s just a ride Jill.” I sighed.

“That’s I used to tell my parents but they never asked what I was riding on,” she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Can this conversation get any more awkward?

“How much money will you need for gas?” I asked changing the subject.

She watched me intensely, debating whether to drop the subject or not. “You don’t need to pay me. We’re family, Nikkie.” She decided to go along with me.

“Ok, great,” I smiled at her, fidgeting with my fingers trying to find the proper way to tell her to go away.

She seemed to get the hint because I saw her getting into her truck, adjusting it in front of me. I attached my car to hers by the hook easily. I’ve been doing it since I was five so it was routine to me.

“All done,” I shouted at her once I was sure it was secured.

“Great, goodnight Nikkie. Use protection.” She drove away.

I groaned. My father had bizarre taste in friends.