I forgot sleep felt so good. Why haven’t I gotten any for the past weeks? It was so peacefully to be able to break away from all the worries growing up brought along. I was able to be whoever I wanted to be and go everywhere I wanted to. That’s why I was annoyed when someone was shaking me out of my dream world. Slowly I was back to the real world filled with pain, betrayal, and death. I groaned and slapped the hand away. I wanted to go back to oblivion.

“Nikkie, get your ass up. Somebody’s coming” I jumped at the sound of Jake’s voice. Unfortunately, he stood too close to me so I bumped by forehead into his as I got up.

“Ouch!”

“Shhh now’s not the time to be a big baby. Unless you want to get arrested, we need to get out of here now.” He pressed on as his fingers wrapped around my wrists pulling me to him. With our heads down, we swiftly slipped out of the arena without being noticed. We hopped in the car and quickly drove away.

Adrenalin was still pulsing through my veins as the car gained distance from the arena. I’ve never done anything so risky in my entire life.  A huge grin plastered on my face as I savor the glorious moment. I wanted more of that. I’ve always made the safe choice, now that life had screwed me over in every way imaginable, it was highly time for me to change. Maybe that was what it has been telling me all that time. The path I had planned for me was not the one it chose for me.

“You alright there?” Jake squeezed my bringing me back to the present.

I grinned at him, “Never been better.”

“Ready for our little cooking mishaps, don’t worry I know where to get all of the ingredients and everything is going to be fine. Just like we discussed last night.” He sounded excited but I had no idea why.

I tried to remember what we discussed last night but I hit a brick wall. I remembered a brief conversation about revenge but I couldn’t remember what it was. What did we plan?

“You don’t have to do anything, just wait to be amazed.”

The question was on the tip of my tongue but for some reason I was having a hard time asking it. I didn’t want to know the plan. What if we planned to kill my ex-boyfriend? Did I really want him dead? No, that was outrageous. He was just being a horny teenage boy, he certainly didn’t deserve to die for that.

I wasn’t going to ask, I trusted Jake. Did I trusted Jake? Not really, but I trusted myself not to plan somebody’s assassination no matter how hurt or drunk I was.

As the adrenalin began to wear out, the infamous effect of my abuse of alcohol last night began to flow throughout my body. My head felt heavy, and my stomach turned at the smell of leather. I gently massaged my temples hoping to lessen the headache but it was futile.

“Just take some aspirins and you’ll be find.” He said pulling up in front of my house.

I peeked out the window to make sure that all of my unwanted guests were gone. As expected, Jill’s truck was still parked outside.

“I’ll see you in school then.” His voice was gloomy. I wondered why, I’ve already grown accustomed to his smile.

“Yeah,” I replied. I suppressed the urge to make him smile, turn his frown upside down. As I opened the door I remembered something, “How did you know where I live?” I was a little freaked out that boys seemed to know where I lived even when I’ve never talked to them before.

“I live two blocks away from you.”

“Oh.” Now I felt bad.

“That’s where I was going the night some crazy girl called the cops on me” He teased.

“You were running after me” I defended.

“You dropped your phone then started to run so the logical thing was to run after you to give you the phone.”

That made a lot of sense. I felt like a cowered for ruining his night because of my stupidity.

“Sorry” I mumbled.

“I’ve always wanted to know how a jail cell looks like from the inside anyways” he shrugged.

He gave me the keys as he got out of the car. I made sure I locked the car then went in. Jill almost bruised me as she pulled me tightly in her arms when I walked through the doors. She probably haven’t had much sleep judging by the dark circles under her eyes.  Her nose was red from crying too much. My heart throbbed with pain to know that it was my fault.

“Where have you been? I called your phone so many times that my phone died on me. Why didn’t you pick up?” She appeared so vulnerable right now. I kept forgetting that I wasn’t the only one whose world had changed when my father’s heart stopped beating.

“I’m sorry, I turned my phone off.” I said blocking any emotions from my voice. I had to stop being so attach to people. Everybody was living me so I had to be prepared for the rest. Even though, Jill might not do like the others but I might. I was changing, I was aware of that so maybe it was time for me to change my entourage too.

“I’ll be upstairs cleaning out my closet if you need me.” I walked away briskly not wanting to see the sorrow in her eyes. She had been through enough already, we both had.

I spent the rest of the afternoon putting stuff in boxes, getting ready to leave this place. I knew once I step outside, I was never coming back here again. I wasn’t going to stay at Jill’s forever but I wasn’t going to come back here. There was too many painful memories tied in this house.

Jill gave me the keys to her apartment while she went to store my dad’s things in the storage unit he bought a while ago to store my mother’s belongings but he never got the heart to. I put everything inside the guest room I had been living in for the past few weeks. I felt asleep before I could unpack. At one point during my slumber, I heard Jill calling me for dinner but I willed myself back to a deeper sleep.

I woke up the next morning to a soft knock on my door. I opened it to see Jill already prepared for work, “I left breakfast in the fridge. You don’t have to go to school today, I’m sure everyone will understand.”

“I’m going to school.” I stated looking at her without batting an eyelid. I was being insolent, I knew that but I needed distance.

“That’s your choice, honey.” She gently patted my hair then left without another word.

I went back in the room and took out washed out purple shirt and jeans to wear. I didn’t have the energy to take a bath so I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and put on deodorant. I went in the living room with the intention to enjoy some breakfast but my stomach turned at the sight of food. I needed another drink not pancakes. Without food, I drove to school in the snow at a snail pace.

When I finally arrived, the front of the school was empty which meant that classes had already started. For the first time, I wasn’t in the mood to solve intriguing mathematical equations. What if Roxie was in class? I couldn’t punch her in the middle of the classroom. On the other hand, I was in desperate need of a distraction from the crappy turn my life is taking. As a compromise I decided to lay in the back and play candy crush on my phone.

My fingers were ready to fall off trying to win one level for the past hour when I heard steps near my car. I glanced out the window and saw Roxie following a defeated Jake. They were so engrossed with each other that they didn’t notice my car nor me. I sat up, anger building inside of me as I watched my ex-best friend touching my ex-boyfriend. It took every fiber in me to not get out and beat the crap out of both of them.

A few seconds went by before I decided that I needed to know what they were talking about. Judging by what eavesdropping had giving me for the past weeks, it should have been the last thing I wanted to do. I reminded myself that oblivion is bliss but oblivion also cause madness.

Without making any noise I opened my door then tiptoed behind Jake’s ride of the week.

“Come on tell me. Your face look like it had been beaten by a professional wrestler, rolled over by a mad truck, and then thrown in the fire pit of hell” Roxy pleaded with him. She sounded genuinely worried about his welfare like she used to be with me

“You’re quite the descriptive one, foxy” his voice dripped of sensuality.

Ughh, I hated my morals, my heart was shouting “kill him, kill him” but my mind kept reminded me all the reasons why I shouldn’t.

“I love it when you call me foxy.”

  What the hell? She harassed me every time I used to call her that.

“But now is not the time to be cute so tell me what happened?” That’s the Roxie I knew, she didn’t get sidetrack easily.

Jake sighed, “I’m not going to Florida.”

“Why the hell not? I thought we already agreed on everything.”

“I failed the drug test this morning so the coach suspended me.”

“How?”

“I don’t know”

“Never mind that, how does failing the drug test have anything to do with us going to college in Florida?”

“Don’t you get it? I’m suspended from the team which means by the time I will be allowed to play again, the college would have already given the scholarship to someone else, plus no college wants a drug addict on their team.”

“But you’re not a drug addict.”

“Try explaining that to the colleges.”

“Are you sure your parents won’t…?”

“No, they won’t. I know them.”

I felt a little bad for him at this moment. He had worked hard to be able to go to school away from his parents. They were trying to force him in the family business which he hated. I knew that scholarship meant everything for him. His parents refused to pay for any colleges that was not their choice. They wanted him in Washington, under their wings.

“Don’t worry babe, I’ll stay with you.”

I snorted, good luck with that!  If there was one thing I learned throughout this experience was that bad boys never change. He will break her heart just like he did to me. I would have warned her but she sort of ruined our friendship yesterday.

“Who’s there?” Jake shouted. I heard his footsteps walking around the car. I quickly hid behind the next car and waited till they went back inside.

I got in the car and went at the park. I waited hopeful that Jake would come find me. I had a hunch that Ken did not fail the test by accident. Was that the plan I made with Jake last night? Was I the reason why two people’s worlds have been turned upside down? Most importantly, did I care?

“I had the feeling I would find you there.” Jake said as he hopped in my car.

I stared at him wide eyed, unable to talk. He had frightened me but I didn’t want to say it. He was going to make fun of me. But unfortunately, I had a terrible poker face.

He smirked at me, “You are way too easy to scare.”

“Shut up.” I felt my cheeks warming up as his smirk widen.

He cleared his throat and clasped his hands together as if getting ready for a serious conversation, “It’s done.” He announced deepening his voice to dramatize the moment.

His teasing face fell when he noticed my not so amused stance, “What?”

“You drugged him?” I yelled at him, I didn’t even know why was I yelling? Wasn’t that what I wanted? To make him pay for breaking my heart?

“What? No, of course not. I just changed the tests like you said last night. Just because you think I’m a delinquent doesn’t mean I know where to buy weed.”

“I told you to do that?”

“Yes, last night. Don’t you remember anything?”

My face gave me away once more. “Look if you changed your mind I can try to find a way to reverse it.”

“No, I didn’t change my mind” I answered before thinking.

Being nice is overrated anyways, he and Roxie destroyed my world so it’s only fair that they get a taste of their own medicine.

“Was that the only thing we had plan?” I asked doubtfully. If I knew one thing about me was that I didn’t settle for the bare minimum. Blocking their only way out of the state merely scratched their life. They still have everything else they wanted.

“After that you kind of became delirious. Your next plan was to burn Ken’s house down while he and Roxie were still in it.”

I bursted out laughing at the ridiculous idea. How much did I have to drink last night?

Wait! Part of it could work just not the burning people alive part. I could just make sure they are out by the time the fire become uncontrollable. But that would also include me leaving this place. I knew Ken’s parents would stop at nothing to crush anyone that touches any part of their wealth including their house. Who cares? I was bound to get off the rail at some point in my life so I guess this was as good as any other times.

It was settled then. I needed to start packing because I was out of here by New Year.