I was sitting on the couch just watching TV when I heard him come in. He stumbled into the living room with out even sparing me a glance and went to the kitchen. Probably looking for more poison to consume.

He does this more or less every weekend. A couple weeks after me and Chanyeol moved in together I noticed that he has quite a habit of going out on the weekends. Of course when we were just dating I thought nothing of it. After all we were just having fun. But it was getting a little out of hand. And the fun soon ended. It was sweet. Then turned horribly bitter.

The day I finally realized Chanyeol was basically addicted to going out and drinking was one I'll probably never forget.

It was a Friday and I had just gotten home from work. I couldn't wait to get home to my boyfriend and hopefully cuddle on the couch. When I walked into the house I noticed that Chanyeol had been dressed up but I paid no attention to it. "Hey babe. I'm home." I said while standing on my tippy toes to kiss him. He bent down a little make it easier for me. "How is my beautiful boyfriend doing today?" He asked me wrapping his arms around my waist. "I'm good just really tired. It was kinda a long day but I'm glad I'm home and can relax." "Well why don't we go out. Jongin is going to this new night club they just opened around the block. It'll be fun." He said back to me. "Can't we just stay home. I mean we went out last week and I really just want to be lazy for the rest of the day. " I said. I made sure to add a pout because he always gave in easily when I did that. Apparently not this time.

"Baek. Let's just go. I already told Jongin we'd go with him and Sehun. Go get dressed." He said with a serious and demanding tone. It was really unlike him.

"No. I'm sorry but I don't want to go. " I said pulling back from his grasp a little. "Please let's go get in our PJs and snuggle up on the couch. " I pleaded while squeezing his hands a little. "Fine. Do whatever you want. But I'm going whether you go with me or not!" He said in a louder then necessary tone and pushed me away from him.

I was a little shocked that he pushed me but stepped closer to him again. "Babe. Don't be mad. I-I'm sorry. "

"Fuck you. You're just a kill joy. Call me when you actually learn to have fun again. " he said then walked out the door slamming it behind him. I couldn't believe that had just happened. I was seriously confused. Chanyeol had never cursed at me. He's never laid a hand on me , unless I let him.

After that day he didn't invite me to go party with him. He didnt even tell me where he was going. He either left without saying a word or just said "I'm going out babe. " He did change. I thought it was my fault. At first he was this nice man that showed he loved me all the time, now I'm lucky if I even get a kiss before bed.

"Baekhyun!" I heard him scream from the kitchen. Startled by the sudden noise I jumped slightly on the couch and looked back. "Y-yes?" I answered. "why the fuck isn't there anymore beer in the fridge!?" He screamed coming into the living room. "Well you drank them all last week babe. I'm sorry I forgot I had to buy some on the way back from work. " I told him standing up from the couch to see him eye to eye. "Well fuck. I thought I told you to fucking buy some yesterday! Why don't you ever fucking listen to me you worthless bitch. " He yelled in my face. His words dont hurt as much as they should. His breath reaked of alcohol. "I-I'm sorry." I said. "Like hell you are. Sometimes I wonder why the fuck I waste my time with you!!" He yelled again. I'm going to be honest. This got me mad. Not only was he being unreasonable but he was being so rude. "Listen I'm sorry I didn't get you beer. But I'm not your little slave. You have a car and two working legs. If you wanted too you should have bought them yourself. " I said losing my temper in a higher pitched tone then before. I didn't really know how to react to this kind of behavior. He usually just leaves me alone and then when I go to sleep he sleeps on the couch.

"Its your job as my boyfriend to do whatever the fuck I want you to do. Okay?!"
He yelled a little louder. Slightly scared I stepped back a little. " Chanyeol its my job as your boyfriend to love you and respect you. Its your job to do those things as well "
I tried to say that as calmly as I could.

"You know ever since you've gotten that new job and that new pretty friend of yours you've been acting like a whiny bitch. Are you trying to get rid of me!?"

"What? You mean Jongdae!? No. Ugh babe I love you why would you say something like that. "

"That's it. Youre fucking cheating on me with that bitch!!" He yelled. Grabbing onto my arm. As soon as he did that I got scared. This wasn't good.

"Chanyeol. Calm down I'm not cheating. I promise. Please let go of my arm. " I cried.

"God your such a fucking lair. You little whore. I see the way he looks at your ass when you guys are together!" When he said this his grasp got tighter.

"Chanyeol please. You're hurting me!!"

"Fucking bitch! How can you do this to me!" He yelled and then he pushed me. Hard. So hard that I fell on the edge of our cute little coffee table. I didn't know what to do.

I was so hurt. Not so much physically but emotionally. He had said too many rude things. My head hurt really bad. When I put my hand up to my face and touched the part that was hurting I flinched.

I was bleeding. He cut me. This was bad. This was worse then bad. I got up slowly and looked around. The light was on in the bathroom. He just left me here. He didn't even check if I was okay.

I needed to get out of there. I couldn't just stay here and wait to see what happened. It wasnt safe. With him being this drunk who knows what he could do next.

As quietly as I could I grabbed my shoes and a jacket and ran out the door. I was crying so much. I got to the nearest bus stop and sat down.

I reached into my pocket to see who I could call to pick me up but there was nothing there. I had forgotten my phone in my room where it was charging.

The only person I know that lives close enough is Jongdae. I decided to go to his house. I really hoped he was awake. It was almost 2 am and I don't know what I would do if he doesn't answer the door.

When I got to Jongdae's house my crying hadn't really stopped and my head was hurting more then it was before.

I knocked twice and waited. In no less then 2 minutes he opened the door. "Baek? What are you doing here it's 2 in the morning? I- Oh my god. Baek you're bleeding!" He said in a sleeply voice. His usually nicely done hair was like a messy nest. His T-shirt hung off his shoulder and he wasn't wearing pants. If this wasn't such a messed up situation and I wasn't crying I would have teased him about it.

"Baek what happened?!" He told me leading me inside to his living room.
"Wait, just wait here I'm gonna go get the first aid kit. Just please lay down."
I settled down on the couch while Jongdae went to get the kit. When he came back I was going to sit up.
"No no no, stay laying down its okay."
He said then sat on the floor in front of me. He started to clean my cut that was just above my eyebrow.

I had calmed down and stop crying by the time he was done cleaning the cut.
"So. You gonna tell me what happened?"
He asked still sitting on the floor next to me.

"H-he pushed me and I fell. "

I could see Jongdae's face completely change.
"That bastard did what!?" I sat up when I heard him yell. He said it with so much anger in his voice, he's always so happy and bubbly I've never really seen him mad.
"Its okay Jong-" "No. It's not okay Baek. He pushed you! What if you had actually fallen really hard. Baekie you could have been seriously hurt! Why didn't you call the cops!? This is serious-" "Jongdae. Please calm down. I've been yelled at too much today." I said to him. His eyes filled up with regret and it was as if he lost all his anger. "I'm sorry. I should be making you feel better not yelling at you. God. I'm really sorry. Come here." He said standing up and sitting next to on the couch. He opened his arms wide.

This is what I needed. I just really needed a hug. I have been through so much shit today. Once I moved closer to Jongdae he wrapped his arms around me really tight. When he did so all my emotions kinda just flowed out again. I was plain out sobbing on his T-shirt.

"He said so much horrible things. " I mubbled into his chest after I started to calm down a little. He hasn't let go of me once. I felt his body tense when I said that. He didn't say anything so I took that as a sign to keep going.
" He called me whiny bitch. He said he wounders why he wastes his time with me ... Jongdae he said I'm a whore and said I was cheating on him with you." I said. My voice broke at the end. Remembering all those things he said and saying them out loud was so hard. Jongdae had an unreadable look on his face.
"Baekhyun. You know none of that is true. I mean he was most likely drunk. He loves you, he'd be stupid not to. " He said in a low voice. It was almost a whisper.
"Jongdae what do I do?" I asked him. I just didn't know. I was so confused.
"I don't know Baekie. What do you think you should do. Tell me what's on your mind." He said calmly. He started to run his hand in my hair. It felt nice and comforting. I started thinking about what's going to happen. Will I break up with him? Or will I give him a second chance?
"W-well Jongdae he pushed me. He insulted me. I know that's my warning to leave. But. But I love him so much. " I said starting to sob again.

"Baekie. I know people say to listen to your heart. But sometimes our heart leads us in the wrong direction. I know you love him. And I know for a fact he loves you too but he needs help. You said it yourself you think he has a drinking and partying problem. What if something like this happens again? What if something worse happened?"

I was still crying into Jongdae's chest trying to process everything he was saying to me. I know he's right. I just don't know if I could let Chanyeol go. We've been together for 2 years. I loved him. But would it be selfish to leave just because I'm scared he might hurt me?

"Jongdae I'm tired of today. " I mummbled into his chest. "I know. C'mon let's get you to bed. " He said as he slightly moved away from me and stood up.

I was going to stand up when he said. "No its okay. Here. " he said then he picked me up bridal style.
I was kinda embarrassed the he was carrying me. I mean he's not that tall and I'm not that light but he didn't seem to be having a hard time. I wrapped my arms around his neck. I could feel my face heating up. I don't know why I was blushing. Once he laid me on his bed he went to his drawers and picked up a T-shirt. "Here you can put this on if you want so you won't have to sleep in your clothes. Oh do you want some sweatpants too?" He asked. "Nah its okay thank you though. " I said as I took off my shirt and put his on. Once I was done I looked at him. He looked a bit flustered for some reason. "Well um good night Baek. Please get some sleep. I'll be in the living room if you need me. "

"Good night Jongdae. Thank you. For everything. " I said to him when he was on his way out. He didn't say anything and just gave me a half smile and left.
I was so tired. All I wanted to do was go to sleep and never wake up.

****

I woke up confused about where I was. Then it all hit me. It wasn't just a bad dream. I touched my bandaid that Jongdae put on me last night and sighed. I had to go back home today. And I don't know whats going to happen.

Once I got up I went to the kitchen. I could smell what seemed like pancakes. When I walked in the kitchen I can see Jongdae in nothing but his T-shirt and boxers. It was what he was wearing last night. Now that i have a clear view his backside isn't that bad. And from his T-shirt hanging off his shoulder I could see that they are very braud.
"Oh Baekie youre awake. Come on sit down and have breakfast with me!" He turned around and said. I hope he didn't notice that I've been checking him out this whole time.

"How you feeling today?" He said quietly as he set a plate in front of where I had sat down.

"I've been better." I say with a sigh at the end. "I'm sorry. " Is all he said before turning around to make his own plate.

While were eating I was having an inner battle with myself. I just don't know what to do.

Chanyeol needs help. He needs professional help. But am I really just going to leave him?

"What are you thinking about? You can tell me. " Jongdae suddenly said.

"Tell me what to do. I don't know how to even begin. Jongdae I know he needs help. But I can't just leave him. And what if I do leave him? Where will I go? I don't have money. I can't even buy my own food much less find an apartment. I need you to tell me what to do. Because I have no idea and I just hate that I have to even consider leaving him. " I said starting to cry. I just couldn't help it.

Jongdae got up from his seat and came over to me. Before I knew it I felt his arms around me. I instantly felt better knowing that I still have him to help me through this.
"I'm not gonna tell you what to do. But I will help you evaluate your options okay? Just please don't over think things. Just take a deep breath and relax. Even for just a second. "

I did what he told me to do and tried to calm down and stop crying. I finally stopped after 5 deep breaths and once Jongdae knew I stop crying he pulled away. He leaned down to be at eye level with me and said, "Now I need you to finish your breakfast without thinking about him and just enjoy this morning with me okay? Can we do that?" He asked in a calm yet sterdy voice. I nodded and he smiled.

I'm going to be honest and say that the rest of the morning was pretty nice. All we did was talk and joke around. I didn't think of Chanyeol at all. It was great but after lunch was when it got hard again.

We had just finished lunch and were sitting on the couch. Jongdae looked at me then sighed. "Baek. I think we need to figure out what you wanna do. "

As soon as he said that I felt my body tense. I knew I had to do this but I just really didn't want to.

"O-okay. Well I just don't know. " Was all I said because I had so many thoughts in my mind and I couldn't process any of them.

"Listen Baekhyun. I know this is hard for you. I'm so sorry out of all the people this could of happened to it happened to the most amazing, loving person I know. I just need you to know that I'm here to help you with whatever you need." He said calmly.

I didn't say anything. Just nodded. I was lost in thought. I knew what I had to do. I just couldn't accept it. This was just so fucked up. The Channie I fell in love with has turned into a heartless alcoholic and now I need to choose wheather I want to stay or leave? I just couldn't do it. After what seemed like hours I finally broke the silence.

"I need to leave him"

Jongdae didn't speak for a while.
"A-are you sure?" Was all he got out.
"Yes. He needs to get help." I said with my head down. I can't believe this was happening. I had to face Chanyeol and tell him that it was over. I had to tell him that he needs help and he can't keep living like this if he wants me in his life.

"Okay Baekhyun. " Jongdae said and got up to get ready. I guess he was taking me considering that I have no ride.
"Here you can wear this. When we go you don't have to get your stuff okay? I'll pick it up later for you. You just talk to him alright?" "Okay thank you Jongdae. "
......
I stood outside of my house, well Chanyeol's house. I told Jongdae to wait for me a couple of blocks away because I didn't want Chanyeol to see him. I've been standing here trying to get the guts to open the door. I know once I open this door I'll have to do one of the hardest thing I've ever done.

I took a huge breath and opened the door. To say I was surprised by what I saw would be an understatement. The living room was trashed. The couch was upside down and so was the coffee table. There was glass everywhere and the beautiful flowers I bought for Chanyeol last week were on the floor along with the broken vase.
There was no sign of Chanyeol. I know he did this. But why? Why was he so mad that he had to destroy the whole house? I can't believe him. This is just horrible.

"Baek??!!" I heard Chanyeol yell from the bedroom. He came rushing to the livingroom.
"Baekhyun where the hell were you!?"
Out of all the things he can say to me right now he asks where I was?

"Baek? Hello. Are you listening to me"

"Are you serious right now Chanyeol?" Was all I could say to him.

"What?"

"You're unbelievable. Chan. Do you not remember what happened yesterday!?" I yelled because I'm honestly just angry right now.

He didn't answer me. Instead his eyes widened and he looked down.

"I-"

"No seriously Chanyeol do you not remember getting home and yelling at me? Do you not remember all the shit you said to me!? All the shit you accused me of? Did you forgot the way you pushed me and just left? Chanyeol you didn't even check if I was okay!"

"Baek. Baby I'm sorry. I really am I wasn't thinking straight. " He said looking up to me. He looked horrible. His hair was pointing in all directions and his eyes looked like he hasn't slept in days. If I wasn't so pissed off right now I probably would have given in but I can't. Not this time.

"Okay but that doesn't change anything Chanyeol."

"What are you talking about baby?" He said coming closer towards me but stopped when he stepped on the glass vase , thankfully he was still wearing shoes.

"I mean sorry can't undo what you did Channie. You still pushed me."

He stayed silent.

"And Chanyeol it doesn't change the fact that you have a problem." I said, my voice becoming quieter.

"Problem? Baekhyun what are you talking about?" Chanyeol asked with a hint of annoyance.

"Chanyeol I think your addicted to this party life style you're living in. And if I'm being honest I don't think I can live like this anymore."

"Baek. Your being crazy. I- I don't have a problem. I didn't mean to push you yesterday okay? Can we just forget about this and move on?"

"No, Chanyeol look around! You ruined your house! We didn't even have a major fight. What if it was worse Chanyeol?You could have hurt me."

He looked at me like a kicked puppy. I felt my heart clinch in me. God why was this so hard. I know what I'm asking for isn't easy. I know it will be hard for him but it's what's good for both of us. I know he needs help.

"I-i. Baekhyun. I'm sorry. Really just please don't do this." He said.
I felt like giving in but really if I stayed here it wouldn't help. It would make things more difficult.

"Chan. I'm sorry but I need to make sure that im safe and have someone stable when I get home. But I don't feel that way. Not since you pushed me the first time. I need you to get help. Not just for me but for us"

"Dammit Baekhyun I don't have a problem. I don't need help! " he said.

"Then maybe what you said to me last night was right. But now you don't have to waste your time on me. I love you Chanyeol. I really do but me leaving is for the best. " I said. I tried my best not to cry. But I'm not a stong person. I was crying but still kept my voice steady.

Chanyeol didn't say anything for a while. Just looked into my eyes. I can tell he was pleading for me to give in. To say that I'll stay. But I can't. He has to show me he knows what he did was wrong and that he'll get help. That he'd change and get better.

"Okay Baekhyun. If that's what you want. Then fine. I won't make you stay. "

My heart shattered. He took the easy way out. He picked living on his own partying every week over me. Over us. I expected this. But a part of me wanted him to say 'okay. I'll get help for you' , to pick the harder choice. Where he'll get help and we'd go though it together. But no.

That was it. We were done. I felt like shit but I basically asked for it.

"O-okay. Jongdae will come pick up my stuff later. I guess I'll see you around. Bye Chanyeol. "

"Bye Baekhyun. " he said.

I guess I wasn't worth it.