Patience was never Machi's strong suit. She knew this of course, but the knowledge of it never seemed to help when she needed it most. And to say the first week home post surgery tested her patience was quite an understatement. Bed-ridden like the invalid she felt she'd become, Machi was under strict orders to relax. No unnecessary movement, no weight on her right leg at all, and absolutely no sport. She was bored out of her mind by the second day. It didn't help that she had been given permission to take the full week off of school as well, the hours normally spent with classmates and friends replaced with counting the ceiling tiles (again).

Propped up on pillows and wrapped in a nest of blankets, Machi really did try her best to relax. She'd nap during the day when the boredom felt endless, and read or watch television to pass the remaining time. Yet try as she might, even the complete collection of Jane Austen couldn't keep her focus anymore. There were an increasing number of times now that Machi would catch herself opening her book and starting a few paragraphs, only to find her mind had wandered off the page and left on an entirely different path. Eventually she gave up the pretense and just sat in bed, staring unseeing up at the ceiling or out the window, lost in thought.

The truth was, she didn't know what she felt, about everything that had happened. Most of it was a bit of a blur now anyway, though she gathered some of the important stuff from Suga and Tadashi and did her best to process it during the long expanses of time she now had free. It didn't help though, that no one from the martial arts club had been in contact since the tournament, even if she suspected that it wasn't from their lack of trying. Nevertheless, it meant she had no idea the status of the rankings. Had they honored Machi's win and given her the spot on the Olympic team? Or, had they simply cast her name aside with the excuse of her injury to keep her from claiming the top spot? Normally, a situation like this would have infuriated Machi, especially one that put her dream in jeopardy. Now, lying in bed, staring at the uncomfortable and stiff brace that kept her from bending her knee even a smidgeon, Machi found herself unconcerned with the answer to those questions. In fact, the more time that passed, the more she found herself contemplating why she felt so...disinterested.

For years, Taekwondo had been the very center Machi's life revolved around. Ever since she could remember, it was all that was talked about, all that was practiced. Her life had been such a steady rhythm of school, work, and taekwondo. Now that she was faced with the possibility one of those being taken away, she had assumed things would feel off; out of balance. So why didn't she feel more upset?

"Hey, you awake? I brought some more of my mom's miso soup since you liked it so much yesterday. And I found Oliver and Company, as promised."

Machi tore her dazed eyes from the windowsill where they had been absentmindedly watching a bird build a nest, and smiled at Suga as he shyly knocked on her bedroom door. Without even realizing it, time had flown by until it was finally her favorite part of the day, when Suga would stop by after school, a new present or hot meal in hand. Unable to run and greet him as she'd like, Machi would wiggle impatiently in place, arms out wide, waiting for him to cross the room and return her embrace. Today was no exception. Suga quickly placed the shopping bag on the floor next to her bed before greeting her gently, equally as happy as her to finally be together, but still overly cautious of causing any more pain. "How was your day, my sunshine? Finish Sense and Sensibility yet? Or did you take another nap?"

Grumbling at the single peck to her forehead, Machi replied dryly, "Yes, I had such a busy and interesting day. I sat here for a few hours, and then, just to mix things up, I decided to lay down."

Already prepping the dvd player and dishing out a bowl of warm soup for Machi, Suga smirked and played along. "Well it is good to mix it up a little every now and again. Maybe tomorrow try something really daring and recline while you take a nap. Could be a game changer." Stealing a few more pillows from the closet, Suga made himself a comfortable backrest next to Machi, wrapping one arm around her shoulders so she could more easily rest against him.

"I mean, my life right now is so hectic, I don't know how I'll fit in the time."

"Oh, I think you'll make it work. You've always been such a hard worker."

"Oh come on Suga, I'm so bored!" Not quite in the mood to banter anymore, Machi tried pleading, "I need to do something besides sit on my ass in this room all day. Please can I come watch your games this week?"

The movie started playing in the background, but neither of them were paying attention. Sighing, Suga closed his eyes briefly. He knew this question would pop up at some point, and while he would love to see her there on the sidelines, decked out in glitter paint once again, he couldn't bring himself to agree. The number of times he'd seen someone diving across the edge line and over benches to catch a stray shot made him too nervous that she'd be bowled over by them. "That's not my decision, love, it's on the doc-"

"I know, I know, doctor's orders." Machi groaned, "But maybe you could ask for an exception? Just this once? I promise I'll be good, I'll even leave the glitter at home."

The desperate hope in her eyes made Suga's heart sink with guilt. He couldn't imagine how bored she really must be. To be forced to stay in the same room in the same bed with nothing to do and no one to talk to for a majority of the day; the loneliness must be suffocating. "We'll see, sunshine." He nudged her arm softly and tried to get her to smile, all the while feeling guiltier by the minute, "Come on, eat your soup, before it gets cold."

***

"H-Hey, Suga?"

The miso soup was gone, their bowls cleaned and placed on the side table. Machi had curled as comfortably as she could into Suga's side while still keeping her knee propped. The lights had slowly dimmed with the setting sun until only the soft orange glow of the bedside lamps illuminated the room. Their movie marathon had progressed to Treasure Planet, but Machi's attention had strayed away halfway through. She didn't even know what she was doing until she heard her own voice whispering his name, hand suddenly clenching his shirt anxiously.

"Mmm?" Suga turned his head to the side slowly to catch a peak at Machi. Something sounded a bit off in her voice and he tried not to jump to conclusions. "Something wrong? Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine. I've just been doing a lot of thinking lately..."

"I can imagine."

"Hush, you, I'm serious." She laughed nervously, playfully smacking his arm. But the small crack in her voice made Suga instantly more alert and he turned a bit to help them both sit up straighter.

"So you've been thinking," he urged, still unsure where this could be headed.

"Y-Yeah, um..." Shit, this was harder than she thought it would be. Machi took a few deep breaths until she felt like she could continue without hesitating, "I think I want to take a break from taekwondo. I mean, after I get better, that is. And I'm going to skip out on the next olympic trials. Maybe just some regular training for a while." Finally, those nagging thoughts that had wedged themselves into the corner of her mind pushed their way forward and she felt like she could breathe again. It stung a bit, to form those words, like acid on her tongue, but once they had been voiced, she was more than a little surprised at the feeling they left behind: peace. No guilt or disappointment in her "failure;" for once in what could only be years, Machi truly felt at peace.

"That's a big decision, what brought it on?" Suga was trying so hard to hold back his smile; he didn't want to celebrate too early, if this was a choice she had made for the wrong reasons.

"It wasn't my dream. Or, maybe it was at first," Machi ducked her head and ran her nervous fingers over the soft plush of the blankets, "but it got lost along the way. I love taekwondo, but not like this." Memories of the grueling training sessions flashed in her mind, making her flinch. "I want to train the right way, without the pressure." Without his antagonizing presence, questioning her every move. Without the fear of performing anything less than perfect, without the punishments that would always come when she didn't meet his standards. It wasn't right, and Machi knew that now; or maybe she'd always known but didn't want to believe it. Either way, Machi also knew it was time to leave it behind. And start fresh. "What do you think? I know it's giving up a lot, but—"

"No, it's not." Suga's hands were suddenly cradling her face, his grin so bright it seemed to light up the room. "I'm so proud of you, Machi. For choosing what you want, for taking care of yourself." It might have taken longer than he had hoped, and involved a lot more blood, sweat, and tears than he thought necessary, but she was finally seeing sense. And he couldn't stop smiling.

Machi didn't realize how much she needed to hear those words until they were out in the open. He was proud of her. Of her. For absolutely nothing; no awards, no medals, just for being herself and making a tough decision. It was a new sensation for sure, and made her want to cry and laugh at the same time.

Hiccuping, Machi's thumb tried to brush away the happy tears that had formed in the corner of his eyes, but they couldn't seem to stop and soon spilled over and ran down the sides of his face. She had made him cry. "I'm sorry, Suga. I know you tried to tell me before and I was too stubborn—"

"That is an understatement," Suga gave a watery laugh, "But it's ok. You figured it out in the end. I'm not upset, honest." Overwhelmed with his own joy, Suga did the only thing that made sense in the moment and captured her lips with his in an eager and passionate kiss. Melting into his arms, Machi didn't hesitate to reciprocate. His lips tasted faintly of the salt from his tears, but she quickly kissed it away. Lost in each other's presence, their mouths moved together in perfect harmony, gradually deepening until he parted her lips to allow their tongues to dance in unison. For the briefest of moments, the world was forgotten, it's worries along with it. Without breaking their embrace, he ran a hand through her hair, along her waist, down the small of her back, tracing a gentle path that still left a trail of goosebumps in their wake. Heart aching for him, she pulled at his collar, drawing him closer until his chest was pressed firmly against hers, and she dug her nails into his back in the need to have him closer, closer...

"Oh, I am blinded! Quick Tadashi, shield your virgin eyes before it's too late!"

Kaido's overly dramatic portrayal of a southern belle snapped the room back to reality, leaving two very red-faced teenagers staring at their newest visitors. His own face glowing a bright crimson, Tadashi kept his gaze fixed to the floor while Suga practically leaped from the bed and Machi hurriedly sat up straighter, brushing a hand through her disheveled hair. "For god's sake, Kaido, what are you doing here?"

"Sorry, sorry, didn't meant to ah, interrupt." He couldn't help the shit-eating grin spreading across his face, "Just thought I'd come see how you were doing. And I have a little present for you. Well, if your cousin and Romeo over there are ok with it." His grin quickly morphed into a grimace as he silently wished for the best, even crossing his fingers discretely.

"Oh? Why do you need our permission?" Suga cleared his throat awkwardly, still smoothing out his shirt collar and trying to steady his breathing without being too obvious.

Kaido ran a nervous hand over the back of his neck, "Yeah, well, you see it's not so much a gift as a peace offering of sorts." He wiggled his arm in a beckoning motion, stepping aside for the conciliatory figure of his best friend, who now stood shyly next to Tadashi, a small bouquet of daffodils clutched tightly in his hands.

"Hey, Machi." Nakagawa tried to smile, but only managed a half of one that looked more painful than happy.

"No."

Nakagawa froze, his mouth slightly open as he prepared his well-practiced speech. "W-What?" All of the things he wanted to say were immediately gone from his mind, disappearing with the intensity that Machi now directed towards him.

Only moments ago Machi had been blissfully happy, being held in the arms of her boyfriend, free of the weights that used to hold her in place. It only took one person, a flurry of memories, and suddenly it all returned; the pressure, the anxiety, the anger.

"I said 'no'. I don't want to hear whatever sob story you've crafted."

Eyes round as saucers as he pleaded, Kaido took a tiny step forward, hands raised in surrender, "Please Machi, just hear him out, then we'll go, I promise..."

"I don't wanna hear it." Machi's lip quivered and she felt Suga's hand reach for hers.

"I really am sorry, Machi, I know it won't change anything," Nakagawa's voice cracked with the strain of keeping it together, but seeing her avoid his eyes while her own began to glisten was becoming too much. "I know I can't take back what I said—"

"Just stop it!" Fat, angry tears poured down her face as Machi shouted furiously. "I don't want to deal with this, with you!" She couldn't. Not when all she saw when looking at him was the bruise he left on Suga's face, and all she heard were his jealous insults hurled at her. Machi didn't want to relive it all again, nor could she relive the heartbreak of losing someone she thought was one of her closest friends.

When Kaido and Naka both didn't show any signs of leaving, Machi had had enough. "Fine," She slowly wiggled her way free of the blankets, "if you won't leave, I will." Whether out of pure stubbornness or she simply just forgot, Machi went to place both feet on the floor and a shooting pain stabbed at her knee as she toppled sideways.

Four sets of hands rushed forward, the closest dropping the bouquet in order to catch her before she fell to the floor. "What are you doing?" An exasperated Nakagawa gently straightened up, checking to make sure Machi's  knee brace was still in place. "You seriously hate me that much you were gonna risk more injuries to get away from me?"

"No..." Machi mumbled once more, much softer this time. She grimaced as her knee gave another painful twinge while Nakagawa placed her back on the bed and Suga rushed to reset the pillows. "I don't hate you Nakagawa-San...I just can't deal with you right now..."

Nakagawa crouched down to pick up the daffodils off the floor, brushing at the most crumpled petals, "I know. And I don't blame you. So I'll go. But I just want you to know how sorry I am." Maybe if he said it fast enough he could say what he had to, and Machi wouldn't try another escape. "I was stupid. And jealous, and blind." He turned briefly to stare directly into Machi's eyes, and then at Suga, hoping his sincerity reached them, "I said and did things that are unforgivable, and for that I am truly sorry. I hope in time, I can earn your forgiveness." Not like he would ever deserve it, he knew now how much he had messed up; an aching part of his heart was convinced he was at least partially responsible for Machi's injuries. He'd never expect to be forgiven for it, not when he couldn't forgive himself.

"Thank you Nakagawa-San." Suga broke the uncomfortable silence, his tone not unkind. "I appreciate your honesty, as I'm sure Machi does too, but I think it's time to go."

Sniffling, Nakagawa nodded quickly and placed the wilting flowers on the bed beside her. "I understand. Thank you for hearing me out. I-I hope you'll both be really happy together." He was almost out the door and around the corner when Machi's quiet voice stopped him just a moment longer and he felt a new, hopeful ache in his chest.

"Thanks Naka."