My Hero - foo fighters

After a while on the beach, Hope and Ethan walked back up to the trailer. Both of them were exhausted from the emotions of the day, they just wanted a quiet evening. However, when they reached the trailer, they saw that Diane's car was back. Ethan gave Hope a hesitant look.

"Do you want to go in there? She's gonna give us the third degree."

"I know. I'm okay if you are. But if you just want to go home, I understand." Hope replied. She wanted Ethan to do whatever he felt he needed. Although she really wanted him to stay longer, but she didn't want him to feel he had to.

"No, I don't want to go, but I don't think I can talk about this anymore. I don't know how she'll take it. Plus she already knows the worst about that night. I couldn't have kept it from her if I tried. That woman can read me like a book." Ethan shook his head.

"Well, why don't we make an appearance. She knows you're here, she saw your truck. So there's no way we can sneak away. We can go in, tell her about the time in SLO, minus how it ended, and then go get dinner or something. I'm pretty hungry now."

"Fine, I guess that will work."

So Hope grabbed his hand in encouragement, and Ethan shot her a smile. She held the door and pushed it open. The two walked in to see Diane washing dishes.

"Well, hello you two. How was your day? I'm surprised you're out this way, thought you'd be in SLO." Diane had a raised eyebrow as she asked.

Hope spoke up first. "It was a great day, just a little hot. We thought we'd come up here for a change of weather." Ethan squeezed her hand in agreement. Hope had just pulled that one out of thin air but it sounded pretty good. Until she looked up at Diane and saw the smirk on her face.

"Oh, hot was it? I see. Well, what are your plans now?"

This time Ethan took control. "We just stopped in to say hi, and now we're on our way to dinner."

Diane nodded. "Fine, fine. Have a good dinner." She pulled Hope into a hug, what Hope had needed just a few hours ago so desperately.

"Thanks for putting a smile on my boy's face. Hasn't been there in a long time." Diane gave Hope one last squeeze and then released her, turning to Ethan. She grabbed him into an equally tight hug. This time, however, Diane said nothing. Hope noted the emotion on her face and that's when she realized that Diane knew all about Ethan's struggles.

She released him with a final pat on the back.

"Now, get going before I ask any more questions." she said with a gleam in her eye.

You didn't have to tell Ethan twice. He grabbed Hope's hand and walked out the door.

"Let's go. I'll drive" Ethan was obviously in a hurry to get out of there.

They took off and went into town to have dinner. Ethan found a simple place along the water with a variety of choices. They took their time, talking, eating and watching the water. Hope thought it was the best part of the day. They had laid everything out on the table at that point. She felt like she understood him much better, but also realized that she still had a lot to learn.

Hope could tell that Ethan was in this deeper than she was. She wanted to say something about it but her nerves and fears kicked in.

What if he gives up? What if he's tired of waiting?

Than is he the right guy? If that's all it took to scare him off after all these years?

Hope decided to listen to the voice of reason this time. If he couldn't handle her need to take things slow, then he wasn't worth it. Somehow, Hope knew that he would understand, but it didn't make it any easier to bring it up.

Deep breath, you can do this

"Can I talk to you about something?" Hope said as her heart was climbing up her throat.

"Of course" Ethan smiled at her, and sensing that she was nervous, reached across the table to take her hand.

"Well, I have been really surprised about all of this. I mean how you have wanted to get to know me, even though it seems like you know me pretty well just from watching."

"Um, I should tell you that it wasn't just watching. I would play soccer with your brother so I could ask him about you." Ethan coughed a little after that confession.

"Oh, great. I bet he had some winners to tell you." Hope was mortified. She got along with Brad pretty well, but he was just a little brother. And he could be obnoxious when he wanted to be.

"No, nothing bad. He never volunteered anything. I would ask him what you liked and when your birthday was. That kind of thing. You can learn a lot about someone just from likes and dislikes."

"huh, so you know when my birthday is? That's not fair, I don't know yours"

"Well, yours is August 27 so you are almost 19. And I needed to know to make sure it wasn't creepy to like you. Mine is May 29. I just turned 20."

"We're closer than I thought!" Hope was excited for some reason by this news. "But I just missed your birthday." which of course made her sad.

"Don't worry, this is the best late birthday present I've ever gotten. And I don't just mean today. I mean all of it, finally getting to spend time with you...and that you know, um, everything. It has helped a ton, which is very...surprising."

"Well, I'm glad then. But there's something else I needed to say..." gulp. "I realize that you have spent so much longer feeling this way than I have and..." double gulp, dizziness. "I'm not sure I'm in the same place you are." exhale, gulp. "I mean, I like you, and I want to keep, um, hanging out and talking, but I feel like I need to take things slow." I did it, whew

Ethan was quiet for a minute. He still held her hand but, he wasn't looking at her. He looked at their connected hands and traced his thumb on the back of her hand sending goose bumps down her arm. Hope was getting worried that he might bail out after all. Then finally,

"I knew that if this, us, was ever going to happen that I would need to be patient. Honestly, I had completely given up. I wasn't going to come out here at all when my mom told me you were back. I didn't want to try, I felt kind of raw, beat up by everything. But I couldn't stay away. I told myself I would just come to say hi, have dinner and go home."

Hope felt like there was some bad news coming for some reason. She was getting worried by his solomn mood. Then he kept talking.

"But you were so much more open, different." He looked up at her then. Those soul-piercing eyes that made her weak in the knees. Thankfully they were sitting. "I was hooked all over again. And I'm not letting you go, Hope. I'll take all the time you need to get to know me, however long it takes for you to be confident and feel safe with me. I'm not going anywhere, not after this long."

The relief Hope felt was immeasurable. That he was so patient was hugely comforting, but she wanted to put it to the test of time. She held his hand and smiled.

"Thank you. I can't imagine it will take too long though..." she grinned at the smile that put on his face.

****************************

Words couldn't express how happy Hope was over the next week. Ethan had left Sunday night after their dinner, promising to call her when he could each day. His schedule with work and summer courses was much tighter than Hopes so they agreed that he would be the one to call. She kept her phone with her, which would put a smile on her face each time it rang. He kept up the calls and they spent as long as they could talking. The topics were all over the place, and Hope would laugh at all the twists and turns their conversation took when they said goodbye .

It's a good thing he likes to talk! Again she didn't know much about relationships, but she knew enough to figure that good conversation was important. It surprised her that Ethan talked as much as he did. Aren't most guys pretty quiet? All of her preconceived ideas were getting tossed out the window.

By the middle of the week they had decided that Ethan would drive up again on Thursday night for dinner. Hope was amazed that it had only been a week since she had started talking with him again, it felt like much longer to her. She was anxious for the evening to hurry up and get there when she woke up on Thursday morning. The day dragged, an experience she was becoming familiar with, until it was finally time for Ethan to arrive.

Hope had already showered and changed from the busy preweekend preparations when he drove up in his truck, music blasting. She went out to greet him as he got out and was shocked at her reaction to seeing him again. Her heart sped up, excited butterflies were fluttering in her stomach and her breathing was hitched. He seemed even more attractive than he had the last time she saw him.

As he walked toward her, she noticed that he didn't have a conceited saunter that so many of the guys she went to high school with had. He held himself humbly, approachable. That was his most attractive quality. Probably one of the reasons I can be so open with him she realized.

His greeting to her was a huge smile, then he wrapped his arms around her and picked her up, swinging her around. She laughed and put her arms around his shoulders.

"Good to see you, too!" She exclaimed as he put her down.

He just smiled down at her for a moment, then, "you have no idea."

Her heart beat a little faster and she felt the warmth in her cheeks from the blush that was most certainly present.

"Listen," he started, "there's something I need to do after dinner, will you come with me?"

"Sure, some kind of errand?"

"Sort of. I'll tell you when we get there."

He took her hand and they walked together over to Diane's. Hope had volunteered to make dinner for the three of them that night, and Ethan said he would help out. Spaghetti was the plan, considering that's about all Hope knew how to make without help from her mom.

They made quick work of dinner, getting things out and started right away. Hope was impressed with Ethan's ease in the kitchen. He seemed to know what he was doing and didn't ask the questions she expected like 'how long do the noodles cook'. She liked that he was comfortable helping out with the meal.

They sat down to eat with Diane and had casual conversations. Ethan talked about one of his classes, which had started just before Hope's visit. He seemed to like it but Hope noticed a subtle change in his features as he spoke about school. She thought he looked...tired or something. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she thought she would talk to him about it later.

Diane offered to clean up since they had cooked, and Ethan took her up on it.

"I have something to get to soon anyway, and I want Hope to come along." he told her.

They bid their goodbye's and Hope followed Ethan out to his truck. As they drove away, Ethan grew quiet. Hope allowed the silence as they drove, feeling that Ethan was contemplating something. She knew that thoughtful look and had it often herself.

She noticed that they were driving towards town and wondered what he needed to do there. He followed the road along the waterfront and suddenly Hope understood his plan. He was headed to north beach.

As she came to this realization, she looked over at him. He noticed right away, saying "I think it's about time"

She knew he hadn't been to that beach since the night Will had died. She was nervous about this, being there with him. But she knew he needed her there. In so many ways, Will had brought them together. This experience had bonded them in a way that nothing else could. She wanted to help Ethan get through this so she reached across the bench seats and grabbed his hand. He gripped it as she wrapped her fingers around his.

Ethan parked the truck and silently got out, walking around to open the door for her. Then he laced his fingers with hers and they started the walk down to the beach. He looked down as they walked and she sensed his apprehension.

Hope took the lead, deciding to take him to the spot where she would meet Will each morning for their surfing meeting. As they reached that place, she stopped walking. Ethan paused and looked at her.

"Why did you stop?" he wondered.

"This is where I would meet Will each morning, so I thought it would be a good place for..." she stopped talking when she saw the look on Ethan's face. "What is it?"

"This is where we were when..."

Hope gasped, "Oh"

She also noticed that he hadn't yet looked out to the water. She put her arms around him in support, knowing how difficult this must be for him.

He finally opened up to her. "Before I came by tonight, I stopped at his house. I talked to his mom... I needed to say it again, now that I'm handling things better. I had to tell her how sorry I was. I ..." but then he stopped.

Hope just held him tighter. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the little rock that he had picked out after confessing to Hope what had happened. Forgiven.

"Do you think she could ever really forgive me?" he whispered.

"Yes" Hope replied. "don't you think she has already? It wasn't your fault, he made a choice too."

Finally, Ethan looked out toward the surf. He took a deep breath and shook his head. "I don't know if I'll ever get over this, but you have to know how much you have helped." He put his arm around Hope's waist, still looking out to the water. "I miss you, buddy. I always will"

They stood there for a while. Hope was amazed that Ethan had endured all of this and that she was with him through it. Without saying anything else, Ethan's arm still around her, he pulled her to walk back to the truck. She held on to him as they walked, realizing that he was finally healing.

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Author's note

I'm so glad that Ethan took Hope with him to say goodbye to Will. It took a lot for Ethan to be able to face that beach again. And maybe someday he will even surf there, but who knows. I'm still thinking of writing a sequal after I work on "Waiting for Hope" but I haven't figured out all the details. We'll see.

Notes on chapter title - My Hero

This verse of this song is the inspiration. It is Ethan's thoughts about Will. Ethan is so grateful to him, because without his intervention, Hope might not be standing next to him supporting him on that beach. Hope is giving Ethan the strength to heal from his past.

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