*Update - another chapter, another video. Just the music this time because the lyrics didn't play a big part in its inspiration.

It's my life - no doubt

Hillsides waving with long grasses unfolded in front of her car as Hope drove along the seaside. Will had directed her to continue driving past the usual tourist stops to see the elephant seals which beached along the central coast almost year round. He had promised her a spectacular view that was less crowded just up a ways further. As she pulled across the highway to what appeared to be a simple turnout, Hope caught her breath at the picturesque view of waves crashing against cliffs. They got out of the car and walked closer to the edge, made safe by a block barrier, and looked below to the large pod of seals. Hope watched with keen interest as mothers snuggled with their young, and males fought for bragging rights in the water.

"Okay, Will, enough stalling. Spill it" Hope finally demanded after a while of seal watching.

"Alright, I guess I have tortured you enough. What do you want to know" He leaned onto the block barrier and looked out at the water.

" Well, just start at the beginning. What happened at that bonfire that I don't know?" She almost pleaded for Will to tell her.

"Okay. The first thing you should know is that Ethan had wanted to talk to you for, well...years" Hope gasped at that statement but refrained from asking any questions so that Will would keep talking. "I guess he first noticed you when he was 15. What you probably wouldn't guess from just watching him is that he's actually really shy, so he could never bring himself to just go up and start a conversation. I didn't really know about his interest in you or anything until two summers ago, that summer. Ethan was extremely eager to get to that first weekend of summer so I harassed him about it until he told me about you. He was finally going to talk with you and he thought the bonfire was a good opportunity." Hope wanted to cry, remembering how she had left after just 15 minutes.

"Oh, my gosh, I had no idea. I didn't think he was interested, he just kind of left me standing there. I was too shy to try talking with him. That's why I left." Hope covered her face with her hands. If only she could go back to that night...

"He left you to tell me to shut the hell up. I was 'DUUUUDE who's the chick?' He didn't want to embarrass you any more then I already had. He practically threatened to beat the crap out of me if I opened my mouth again." Will still hadn't looked over at Hope while telling her the details of that night. She was seriously freaked out by this, not sure what to think.

"Is that why you guys drifted apart?" Hope questioned. Will shook his head.

"Na, that's something else altogether." But he didn't seem to want to go into it. Instead he said, "he knows you more than you think he does. He saw you, watched you quietly." Will paused, "Geeze I'm making him sound like a stalker." Will huffed and ran his fingers through his hair. "what I'm trying to say is that Ethan wasn't just infatuated with you. He really liked you. I think he probably still does."

Hope was shocked and confused. "How could he like me, he hardly spoke to me, he couldn't really know me." Then she got a little angry, "and why didn't he try harder to keep me at that bonfire. Why didn't he tell me he wanted to talk to me, he was so vague I didn't know what to think."

"Where you interested in Ethan, Hope? Did you go to spend time with him or just to go?" Will asked while looking right at her this time.

"Honestly, I'm not sure. I didn't think I was interested in him, just that he made me uncomfortable. I think I just realized that I wanted to see him yesterday when I got here and found out he was gone." she confessed to Will and to herself. She couldn't believe how open she was allowing herself to be. He IS truth serum.

"Ethan knew your hesitations and didn't want to push you. He wanted you to want to talk to him, not to force you. I think he sensed that you were uncomfortable around him. He was worried he would scare you off, which he sort of did." Will stated gently. He gave Hope a small smile, trying to make her feel a little better about the whole thing. It didn't work.

"I think I feel a little sick. It seems like I make a mess of everything in my life. All because of fear." Hope reached her hand into her pocket and felt for her stones. She played with them a little and ran the words they represented through her mind. It did help to calm her down a bit, but she still felt bad.

"It sounds like it's time to change things, for the better." Will said simply. Hope huffed, if it were only that simple. As if he read her mind, Will added, "it is do-able. I think you have already started changing things, haven't you." He smiled at her. Hope couldn't help but smile back, what is it about him...

After that, talk of Ethan stopped. Hope needed to process everything she had learned without hearing anything else that would stress her out more than she already was. She and Will watched the seals for quite a while, taking in the scenery and the ocean breeze.

Later, as they drove back to north beach, they talked casually about their lives. School, hobbies, movies they liked were discussed, but nothing too personal or very deep. Hope decided once again to leave Ethan out of the conversation. She felt awkward asking Will anymore about him, knowing that the two friends didn't see each other anymore. She was also trying to figure out what was going on between her and Will. It was odd that he had been so honest about Ethan's feelings if he had an interest in her. Hope seriously had no idea if he was interested or not. She had no experience with this, literally zero. But she wondered if a guy would spill everything his best buddy felt about a girl, TO the girl, if he also liked her. She doubted he would.

Well, maybe we can just be good friends. Hope dropped Will back at north beach, still wondering about his lack of transportation. He just waved bye and started walking down the beach, turning back after a minute and calling, "wanna meet me here in the morning again? I'll be surfing." Hope was perplexed why he would want to invite her but responded, "sure."

She returned to the campground to find Diane at the trailer. Hope wondered if Diane had talked to her mom yet. Without missing a beat, Diane gave Hope a huge smile and a hug (these were seriously great hugs) and said, "I just talked to your mom, sweetie. She's happy for you to stay with me but you do need to give her a call."

With some trepidation, Hope pulled out her phone, sat on Diane's couch and gave her mom a call. Diane, mercifully, left her alone to have the  conversation. Her mom answered on the first ring. Hope was shocked to hear her mom start by apologizing, "honey, I'm so sorry you have felt forgotten. I guess I just thought you were doing fine. I have been selfish, wanting to take care of me, but I see now that you still needed taking care of."

Hope was blown away by her mom's admission. "It's okay, mom. I know it's been hard on you too. Thanks for letting me stay with Diane. I think it will really be good for us if I have some space." Her mom agreed that time and space would be a good thing considering she had Diane looking after her. Hope agreed to call her mom twice a day to at least check in. Her mom promised to be more interested in listening to what Hope had to say. It was probably the best talk she and her mom had ever had. Hope hung up the phone feeling...hopeful, at last. What a difference a couple of days and hundreds of miles makes.

Hope gathered her bags and took down her tent, officially moving in with Diane for a couple of weeks. Her part time job at the campsite would start the next day, after she got back from seeing Will at the beach. Hope almost forgot about Ethan's visit on Thursday, until she overheard Diane talking to him about it.

After she had put her bags in the second bedroom, settling in for a few weeks, Hope stepped back into the main room and took a seat on the couch. Diane wasn't there so Hope assumed she had stepped outside to take care of campground business. That's when she heard Diane's voice just outside the window of the trailer. "She's staying with me for a few weeks." Hope heard her say. After a pause while she listened to Ethan, Diane replied with, "no, I'm sure she has no idea about that." And then a minute later, "You should tell her, talk about it with her. She's not as quiet as she was then"

Oh my, I don't know if I'm ready for this, was Hope's only thought.

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Author's note -

Wow! What do you think about Will now? He sure gave Hope a lot to think about. I wonder what happened between Will and Ethan (well, of course I know...but you don't yet).

Note's on chapter title - It's my Life

This was more of a choice about the song title than the words to the song. I love Gwen Stefani and No Doubt so I wanted to include their cover of this 80's song. But it's not really about what's going on in this chapter. I liked the idea of Hope making big decisions, taking control of her life after feeling so out of control. That's the inspiration from the song, but like I said, mostly from just the title.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]