* I highly recommend going back and reading at least the last two chapters. *

I'm falling again, blinded by the darkness that surrounds me. I cry out as the edges of the rock slice my skin. I hear nothing but distant chuckling that makes my stomach roll.

"I told you princess, you'll always fall," A familiar voice echos around me. There's no emotion, but hate, in his tone and the heart shattering part about that is - I did it to him. At least, he thinks I did. "And I'll never be there to catch you."

I start to grow cold, realizing the end of my descent is rapidly approaching.

I wake up with a jolt.

Sweat drenches my forehead and my heart feels like it's about to beat out of my chest. I glance around the room dazed and with my head pounding thanks to the Valium I took.

My eyes dart to the opened bottle on the desk, sitting exactly where I left it last night.

I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep, not after what happened with Xander- my biggest mistake. Falling for him was my biggest mistake, my only regret.

Not because he doesn't deserve love, but because he deserves more than what I can give him. I tried to show him he deserved love just as much as the next person, but I failed, I didn't love him enough...

My eyes shut as I try to get rid of the cloudiness in my mind. This is why I hate the Valium, it makes me feel so sick, but i take it because it helps me sleep- even if it gives me nightmares.

The fogginess continues as I try to remember getting out of the tub and into my own bed, but everything after slipping into the steaming water is seemingly wiped away.

With a groan, I get out of the bed and stumble to the kitchen. My bare feet come to an immediate stop when I notice Xander sitting at the island table with a glass of water.

"Welcome to the land of the living." He says and it's not just the small smile he sends my way that makes my throat go dry, but also the wire glasses that I haven't seen since high school. Sharp pain shoot throughout my chest. "Want a sandwich?" My eyes dart to the clock on the stove showing that's it's well past noon.

"Not hungry." I lie, going to sit on the old couch, picking at the rip in the arm's fabric to distract myself. I know for a damn fact he wore those glasses to hurt me.

Standing on the front porch of the large, brick mansion, I start to wonder if this was a bad idea.

The frosting on the chocolate cupcake I'm holding starts to slide to the side - practically melting in the July heat.

Footsteps quickly approach the other side of the massive oak door and I take a step back just as it opens to reveal Xander's adoptive mother - Amelia.

"Audrey," She smiles at me as she opens the door further. "I didn't realize you were coming to the batting cages with us."

"Oh," I shake my head, holding to cupcake into her line of vision. "I just wanted to tell him happy birthday, we're going out tomorrow."

I glance at my watch- one thirty-six.  I have one minute to get to him. I watch as Xander's mother glances at her small wrist watch before glancing back up to me with a small smile and stepping back from the door.

"You only have a minute, you better run to the basement." I grin at her, that's one of the things I love about this amazing woman. She always knows exactly what other people are thinking. Quickly, I rush past her and down the basement stairs, two at a time.

My boyfriend of six months stands there shirt-less, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips, with a dart in his hand. His younger brother, sitting on the sleek black couch sees me and opens his mouth to say 'hi' but I shake me head.

"You ready, Ryder?" Xander questions his brother who's now grinning. "I'm about to beat Dad's high score." He flicks his wrist and and the bright blue dart he was holding sticks into the bullseye.

He suddenly jumps into the air with a shout. "Yesss! Dad!" He shouts, spinning toward me.

"Babe." He mutters, wide-eyed and coming to a halt.

"Happy birthday." I hold up the cupcake in my hand, checking my watch to make sure it was still the exact time of his birth. When I look back up at him, my eyes zero in on the wire glasses I've never seen before. I knew he wore contacts, but I'd never seen his glasses. My heart stutters when a smile stretches from ear to ear as he takes the cupcake from me, biting into it while his perfectly white teeth. He closes his eyes as he shoves the rest of the cupcake in his mouth, shoving the red wrapper into the pocket of his sweatpants.

He suddenly grabs my waist, snapping my attention away from the glasses that caused me to fall in love with him all over again.

"You're staring." He whispers into my ear after thickly swallowing the cake he shoved into his mouth.

"I like the glasses." I whisper back, looking at his stormy blue eyes. He seems to study my eyes for a moment, before leaning closer to me. 

"Do you?" His breath dances across my lips. "You don't think they're nerdy?"

"They're hot." I tell him honestly, somehow managing to keep my blush away.

He grins at my response, dropping a sound kiss on my mouth. "Come to the batting cages with us." He mumbles against my lips, taking my hands in his own.

"No, I-"  he interrupts my reply with a toe-curling kiss.

"I love you and I want to spend the day with you and my family. Please come with us."

"You should eat." Startled, my head jerks up and meet Xander's frowning gaze. "I know your hungry." Mutely, my eyes dart between him and the sandwich in my lap.

"Thank-you." My voice comes out as a whisper and I watch Xander nod slightly before moving to sit in the chair on the other side of the room. He stares out the widow while I attempt to stomach a few bites of the sandwich he gave me and for a few minutes, we drown in silence.The light putter-patter of rain is the only sound in the cabin which is why I jump when Xander speaks minutes later.

"Have you enjoyed studying abroad?"

My chewing stops and I swallow the dry bite of peanut butter and jelly is my fave scrunches in confusion.

Why is he talking to me? Why-

"I mean what I said," he speaks, his eyes moving from the window to me. "We would restart if you told me the truth." The truth, I mentally scoff. How easily he throws that word around.The half of the sandwich I've eaten so far suddenly causes my stomach to roll and have have to set the other half back down on the plate on my lap.

"Well, this is me restarting."

***