((My adult sibling requested this and uh- This- What do I even title this shit? whomstdvell you acid crackhead- This entire thing is crackhead/nightmare fuel. I don't know what the fuck I just wrote but this is for my iron golem fetish sister... IronGolemMumbo X Grian... Enjoy...?))

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°•Grian's POV•°

A merrily, happy sigh falls past my lips as I stare at Mumbo from behind the glass panes of my window. The bulky iron golem, with a stunning mustache that looks like a black caterpillar along his nonexistent lips, wanders around the small village, as usual.

Simply thinking of him sprouts a kawaii expression on my face. Konichiwa, anime blush UwU

I didn't realize that he looked at me. The sun shining boldly down on his iron build reflects how beautiful he is, his metal muscles shining under the warm illumination of the sun's rays. We engage in a moment of eye contact before I duck down behind my window.

UwU UwU UwU UwU He looked at me!!

I felt my entire world spiral into a panic since he noticed me for once. He saw a glimpse of me but it's embarrassing since I was staring him down and he saw me.

I was ready to stand back up when I suddenly heard a bell. The emergency bell in the center of town is ringing. Useless villagers run into their homes as my epic warrior friends - Doc, Iskall, Wels, False, and some others - head out to the scene.

My eyes gaze out of my window to find sudden pillagers and ravagers breaking innocent people's homes. I gasped, darting my vision across the battlefield before noticing the handsome iron golem with a mustache named Mumbo. He tosses the vicious pillagers into the air because he is amazing and strong like that.

I continue to watch, making sure my wooden door, which is very easy to break, is locked for good. My head rests on my arms as my red sleeved arms lay on the window cobblestone sill. My main focus was on Mumbo as he keeps flinging bad guys into the air.

Omg, he is so handsome. Imagine Mumbo holding me in his strong arms, keeping me protected from all the bad guys as he presses me against his flat iron chest. Despite anime nosebleeds being as fake as Kim Kardashian's lips, I felt some blood dribbling out of my nose.

What if iron golem Mumbo, the most amazing warrior of this village, pins me to the wall? Imagine how big he is under his nonexistent metal pants, sksksk, he must be massive under those white pants.

I mean, they call him Mumbo Jumbo for a reason.

Thinking about it left a waterfall of blood to escape my nose. I didn't even bother cleaning the red puddle because my entire attention is focused specifically on the amazing man.

As I continue to observe the awesome anime battle scene, I watch in horror as the ravages surround Mumbo. All of my friends are knocked down to the ground, leaving the hunk of an iron golem to be alone. The pillagers throw ropes over his steel tough shoulders to pull him down.

I begin to sob as I just watch like a dweeb. They throw a net over his head and they finally yank him down to the grass. His entire body collapses downward before they start beating him up, leaving horrible cracks etched along iron skin.

More painful, agonizing minutes fly by, ticking away. They finally pick up Mumbo and start to head back to their pillager camp. The ravages follow closely behind so Mumbo doesn't have a chance to escape, despite his unconscious, limp body.

My tears proceed to escape my eyelids and dribble along my cheeks. I sobbed heavily, curling up in a tight ball on my wooden flooring. There is no hope now. I hate my life, watching my incredibly strong crush get taken away since they want his iron.

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I step outside of my villager house with anger laced in my blue orbs. A diamond sword is clenched tightly in my hand, my body enveloped in diamond enchanted armor since Xisuma provided me with it. A bow is on my back, followed with a quiver that is loaded with arrows.

My wifu is getting saved and I don't care what the readers think. I rush over to a village horse, one that is a simple brown mustang equipped with armor also. My leg swings over the horse before I order it to run west, where the setting sun is falling down the horizon.

I feel like a cowboy. Yee the fucking haw, I am saving you Mumbo! It took a long while to find the pillager hut but I just went in the direction that they took Mumbo away, so it wasn't that hard.

As my horse continues to run towards the hut, I stand on my horse with an amazing ass balance and begin to fire flame arrows at the wooden sections of the raider's home. All of the raiders begin to scream in fear of my mighty bravery.

I forgot to mention that I carry TNT, as everyone should know, I am the explosive god. If you don't watch my videos, go watch them and see you dumbasses and subscribe also.

My horse continues to run around to distract them as I hop off. I place TNT everywhere, slaughtering any of the raiders if they approach me as I begin to enter. I don't have much time since the structure is catching on fire, and when the fire reaches the blocks of TNT, everyone knows that every species on the face of Earth is gonna get blasted into space.

I find my precious iron golem. He is stuck in an ugly cell, forced to be tucked away in this horrible place. I'm going to kill every single motherfucker that manages to lay another crack on Mumbo's steel body.

My iron golem wifu notices me, perking his head up. I noticed instantly that his mustache is ruffled and burned in the tips. Those raider bitches are so dead for touching his black lip caterpillar.

With a few swings of my epic Silkscribe pickaxe, I manage to break the metal bars that have restrained Mumbo. He stands up, towering over my little image, and looks down at me. My heart is hammering inside my chest, but there was no time for this.

I grab his cold iron hand, smiling because of the sudden contact, and we dart out of the pillager hut. The horse that I used is still running around in circles. Most of the raiders and ravagers are now on fire but the ones that are not consumed by the flames begin shooting at Mumbo and me.

We begin to dart outside, petrified for the inevitable fear of all of my stacks of TNT ready to explode under the influence of the flames. Suddenly, an arrow hits my back and pierces right through my diamond armor.

I fall to my knees and cry out in pain. Blood is beginning to fall down my spine and armor, the strong arrow still stuck into my flesh. I watch as my blood drips down to the flourishing blades of green grass.

I was gonna die because some bitches struck an extremely strong arrow into my back. My iron golem wifu Mumbo crouches down beside me. He blocks the next incoming arrow with his muscular iron arm, which left a new crack to spawn on his metal skin.

He pulls the arrow out my back, entitling a scream to erupt from my throat. Mumbo sets it down so he can roll me over and cradle me in his brawny arms. I begin to sob since I knew my demise was coming closer, well, technically everyone's is but mine is too close.

I didn't even have the chance to eat my cat, Maui. She looks delicious. Fuck it, I'll eat Scar's cat first then Maui. I also didn't even get the chance to trade my Pikachu cards with Doc as I promised. fuck me...

Now I can't even do that because I am dying in my lover's arms. The whole concept of respawning just vanished over my head as I continue to weep since I thought this will be my official end.

Turns out Mumbo saves the day.

He leaves me on the grass and begins to beat the living shit out of all the pillagers. I saw one of the TNT blocks flash a white, signaling it is about to explode and force the others to explode also. I cry out once more, specifically for Mumbo's name so he can leave the battle.

Then all of the TNT explodes as I watch. I turn my head away, the pain of seeing Mumbo in all of the TNT is unbearable. My uncontrollable sobbing turns hideous, don't fucking look at me. Not only is blood spurting from my back torso, but I am leaking tears like Niagara Falls.

When I look up, vision blurry, I can make out a ripped, white figure walking away from the explosion like a badass. I smile, tears still streaking along my flushed face, as I try to stand up. Forgetting about my wound, I wince and immediately fall back down.

Mumbo sensed my pain. He grabs me gingerly and picks me up to hold me against his metal chest. I regard my wound, blushing like a kawaii girl, looking up at Mumbo with star-shaped speckles in my round eyes.

😳
👉👈

Now that we can go home, me devouring a whole plane like a Russian spy while trading pokemon cards, I confess to Mumbo and I get pregnant with three iron bumbobigbaggin children.

The happy motherfucking end.