Tobias

I stare at my plate. "She's a hard worker really." Alexander says. I look up at her. She's staring at her own plate. "I would have worked harder." Albert says.

"You can't just say that! You have no right!"

Her hard voice flashes through my mind. The way tears were filling up her eyes, aches my heart. Her eyes look up. I look back at my plate to avoid catching her gaze. "What's up with you, Ruby? You're too silent." Ash says. I look at him. His hand is holding his fiancé's, on the table. She's smiling. I suppose she's half asian or something, her eyes claim this. "I am okay. Just tired." She says. I know she's lying. She's probably still thinking about our talk, that I wish now we didn't have.

"It's all your fault. My broken heart. And my brother!"

I close my eyes and all I can see was her yelling at me with tears hysterically falling down her cheeks. "You're parents are coming, right? I made sure mom called them." Ash says with a smile. Fuck. Oh my god, seeing those people again would break my heart. I wonder how they feel now. After five years of the murder of their only boy. Their little boy. Peter never left my mind. I always thought about him. About how good and lovely that boy was. He was just too young, too pure to die in that terrible way and right in front of her. I know that somehow it destroyed a part of her. A part of her died out with her little brother. "I will call mom." Ruby says, smiling. A sad smile. A fake smile. "You should bring Louisa as well. I miss her even though she's wasn't as nice as you." Ash says with a chuckle. Ruby chuckles along. "Who gets married in Christmas, man?" Al asks. "See, I swear I told him. He just can't wait." Elizabeth says. "I love you, why wait?" He says as he kisses her forehead. She smiles. "You guys are so cute." Penny says, glancing at her husband. "Stop it, you two, already. My marriage is going to get destroyed here." Al says. Penny hits him again like she did on the plane. They all laugh.

"I don't even know what are you doing here, Woods. You're fucking ruining things! I am accepting it just for Ash's sake!"

She yells back into my mind. I won't blame her for saying such words. I hurt her badly. I hate myself everyday for doing it. I left her right after my own father shot her little brother. That's when she needed me the most. I was too selfish to stay and put up with all the sadness. The same saddens I had to put up with after my mother's death. "You okay?" Elite whispers, holding my hand, that's laying on the table. "I am fine." I say, leaving her hand and picking my fork, showing some interest in the food in front of me. "You sure?" She asks again. I don't want to talk to Elite right now. I can't. What should I say. That I just had a terrible conversation with my ex. Or that I lied and I am still in love with Ruby. "I am okay, Elite." I say, trying to calm the anger inside of me. I don't want to take it out on Elite. I don't want to take it out on anyone really. I want to take it out on myself. I am angry at myself.

"You fucking left me, Tobias! When I needed you! You fucking left!"

She sobs into my memory. I stare at the celling. I can hear Elite sleeping beside me. She's right. I left her. I am a fucking jerk, who left her. I shouldn't have talked to her. I shouldn't have brought back all the pain. I should have just let her go. Five years ago, I should have let her go or went back to her. I couldn't. She kept on visiting me in my dreams and my thoughts. But, at least I tried. I tried to let her go. I tired to love Elite. I just couldn't. I get out of bed after trying to sleep. I walk to the hotel's bar. A golden haired bartender smiles at me as I sit down. "What can I get you, sir?" He asks. "Two shots of vodka." I say. "Starting with the hard stuff?" He asks. "I fucked up badly." I say. "Ladies problems?" He asks as he pours the vodka. "Exactly." I say.

"You're a monster just like your father was, Tobias!"

I swing the first shot up to my mouth. Here words burn into me more than the liquor burning down my throat. I am not like my father. I can never be. Another person enters the bar. "Excuse me." He says. Her red hair is pulled into a messy bun. I take the second shot and get up. I walk and sit next to her. She looks at me. "What do you want, Woods?" She says as she looks away. "I am sorry." I say. "What are you apologizing about anyways?" She says as the bartender places a cup of whiskey in front of her. He looks at me with a raised eyebrow. "Everything." I say. He leaves after realizing that this is a private conversation. She looks at me as she lifts the cup up to her mouth. She takes a big gulp out of the whiskey. "That must be quite a lot." She says with sarcasm. I let out a sight. "There is no need for us to go through this, Tobias. You should go sleep with your girlfriend." She says and then looks at her cup. "She looks like she loves you." She says. I can hear the pain in her voice. "But, I don't." I say. She looks at me. "Planning on hurting her like me?" She asks. "I never planned on hurting you, Ruby." I say. "Showing up after five years from leaving me when my brother gets killed and saying that you still love me, that's called hurting me." She says and drinks the last of her drink. She gets up. "Ruby, I am sorry but I do love you." I say as I get up as well. "I can't do this, Tobias. I can't do this to Elite." She says, turning away. I hold on to her wrist. "I just want to make sure you're not mad." I say. "I am not, Tobias. I am just sad." She says and walks away. I can't let her go again. I run up to her. "Ruby." I call at her. She stops and looks back at me.