Chapter Twenty-nine

"I can't do it!"

"Yes, you can!" Lau cheered me up.

"It's too far," I explained, extending my hand towards my target.

"No, it's not," Jordan said beneath me. I had my legs around his head because he was carrying me up, I was basically sitting on his neck.

I reached out for the objective once again, "Move closer!" I indicated to the tall boy carrying me.

Jordan groaned, "I'm trying but there's a tree branch stabbing me right where the sun doesn't shine."

I grimaced, "Too much information."

"I'm so taking a picture of you, guys." Lau chirped, picking up her phone.

That was us, trying to finish decorating a Christmas tree. Key word here: Trying. I was supposed to place the star at the top of the tree but it wasn't as easy as it seemed in TV shows. However, I never knew Christmas could be so much fun.

Since Lau and I were neighbors, we made some awesome matching decorations with the Christmas lights outside our houses. Why? Because we were cool like that.

At the third try, my hand finally touched the top of the tree and I placed the star in it, "Yes!" I shouted, raising my fist up in celebration.

"Yes! Finally!" Jordan exclaimed, putting me down.

Lau gave us a high five, "Awesome team work." I couldn't agree more.

We stood like idiots in front of the Christmas tree, staring at it proudly. It had red and green Christmas lights, shiny balls and all types of decorations. It was the most typical Christmas tree of all times but it was in my house. It was ours and there was something really nice about constructing it and decorating it. I didn't know what it was but it just felt really good.

The three of us were wearing Santa Claus hats and a green t-shirt with jeans. We'd agreed to wear the same clothes color because we wanted to have sort of an uniform for this. It was Lau's idea and I thought it'd be pretty cool.

Lau let herself fall on the couch, "I can't believe it took us this long,"

I frowned, "What time it is?" I glanced at the window and it was dark outside.

"Eight thirty," Jordan replied, sitting next to Lau.

"What?" I asked in surprise, "Wow, it really took us all day, huh?"

"Yeah but it was totally worth it." Lau gestured the Christmas tree.

"Where's the wine?" Jordan inquired seriously, "You said our reward would be wine when we finish,"

"Yep," I grinned at him, "I did say that. I'll be right back." I headed to the kitchen and then came back with three cups and one bottle of wine. When I entered the living room, Lau and Jordan were savagely making out on the couch. I froze.

That awkward moment when your friends are making out and you stand there without knowing what to do.

After a while, they were getting kind of touchy and that was my cue to leave. I found myself in the kitchen, pouring wine in my cup. I'd never had wine before but that was the only alcoholic drink mom let me have in the house. I took a sip and it surprised me how sweet it was. I took another and let the sweet liquid swim down my throat. I lowered my cup and gazed at the kitchen window. It was close because the past couple of days had been pretty cold but I could see the outside through the glass. It was starting to snow.

It's been a month.

I thought sadly. It'd been a month since my birthday, since that painful night.

A month without Evan.

I hadn't seen him after the day I ran into him at the school's parking lot. He hadn't texted me nor called me and I couldn't blame him. I had asked him time so it was reasonable that he hadn't reached out to me. Even when it was my decision to stay apart for some time, I still missed him terribly. That had been the longest time I'd been without speaking to him since the moment we met.

However, I needed this. I hadn't realized how badly I needed a break from our relationship. It wasn't that I didn't love him or that I loved him less but since the moment I met him everything had turned so chaotic. Before him, my life was plain and boring and then when he showed up, everything changed and turned into an endless spiral of happiness, pain, love and hurt. It never stopped. It overwhelmed me. I needed to breathe and although I'd missed like crazy in the past month, I felt good.

"Jules! Did the wine drink you?" I heard Jordan scream from the living room.

"Took you guys long enough," I whispered to myself heading back.

After we finished the bottle we were laughing our asses off because of Jordan's crazy stories. He may not have talent for horror stories as we witnessed at the bonfire but he had skill with funny stories.

"We drank the wine and we didn't make a toast for the Christmas break," I pouted. I didn't feel an ounce of dizziness or anything. Wine was the best.

"I felt like such a grown-up drinking wine," Jordan pretended a serious face.

"We are grown-ups," Lau said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well, whatever we are, we ran out of wine and the night has just started," I rose to my feet. Before I headed to the kitchen, I squinted my eyes at the couple on my couch, "Don't make babies while I'm gone."

They burst out laughing, "You're crazy." Lau shook her head.

I faked a serious glare, "If I see one stain on the couch, I'm kicking you guys out."

"Shut up! Just go get the bottle," Jordan demanded.

I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I walked away from them. But just I was passing the front door to go the kitchen, I heard the bell ring. I furrowed my eyebrows. I wasn't expecting anyone that night and mom was on duty.

I opened the door and I couldn't hide my surprise when I saw her.

Helen Woods was standing in my doorway. And even when she was wearing a dark coat and a wool cap, she looked pale and was partially covered in snow. Her lips looked purple as she trembled.

"Hi," she said timidly, "I'm so-sorry for co-coming without telling you, I-"

"Just get in, girl." I held her hand and pulled her inside, "You're freezing out there." I closed the door and turned to her.

"Oh, this is nice," she welcomed the warmth inside my house. She pressed her gloved hands together. The lights of the house gave me a better sight of her face. She had bag under her green eyes and the white of them looked red as if she'd been crying.

"What were you doing out in the cold? Are you okay?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I just didn't expect the snow to come so early tonight. It caught me off guard." I didn't believe her. Something was wrong.

"Jules! Who are you talking to?" Jordan shouted, "Wine isn't going to respond, you know that right?"

I gave Helen an embarrassed smile, "Well, that's..."

"Oh, am I interrupting something?" Helen asked worried, "I can come some other time,"

"No," I gestured her to follow me to the living room, "It's just Laura and Jordan."

We stepped in the living room and Jordan and Lau snapped their heads towards us. They looked beyond surprise to see Helen standing next to me.

"Oh, hey there," Jordan spoke sweetly, "Come here and warm up with us." Jordan was a really nice and caring person. I really liked that about him. Lau couldn't have chosen a better boyfriend.

"I'm okay," Helen replied with a fake smile.

"Are you sure?" Lau had a worried expression on her face. Helen nodded.

"I'm just gonna take her to my room because it's warmer," that was a lie but everyone caught my drift. Helen obviously needed someone to talk to and for some reason she chose me. I wasn't complaining, she was a good girl.

Once inside my room, Helen complimented my decorations and the minions on my bed. I waited for her to say what she had to say. I wasn't going to put pressure on her. She could take her time but I knew she hadn't walked through snow here for nothing.

Removing my shoes, I sat crossed-legs on my bed, resting my back against the headboard. Helen took her coat, her gloves and kept the wool hat. She sat at the end of the bed.

She took a deep breath, "I'm sorry for coming here unannounced. I have nowhere else to go."

"Hey, it's okay. You're welcome here, anytime." I spoke seriously, "Any time, okay?"

"Okay," she let out a long breath, "But I feel terrible. You have a celebration with your friends and I show up here and ruin it. It's just... really selfish of me."

"Helen, can you please stop apologizing? You're not bothering me at all." I smiled at her and she returned the smile.

"I..." she licked her lips, "I just need some to talk to... I mean, a girl to talk to."

"Well, I'm here and I'm all ears,"

"But your friends are downstairs and you-"

"Don't worry about them. They're probably deflowering my couch as we speak so it's alright." I managed to steal a chuckle from her, "What is it? Is it Jason?" she flinched at the mention of his name and I knew I had found the source of her sadness. Jason had been avoiding me a lot since the day I had lectured him about Helen. I guessed he didn't like me telling him the truth on his face. He would come around eventually though, I knew him.

"Well, after your birthday I was weak and I texted him." I couldn't hide the disappointment from my face, "But then his replies were so cold and heartless that I finally decided to give up on him."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I deleted everything, his number, photos, everything."

"Did he notice that already?"

"Yes, he texted me a week after that. It showed as an unknown number but I knew it was him because of what the text said."

"What did it say?"

"It said: You deleted me from everywhere, so mature, let's see how long you can keep this up."

My mouth formed an O, "That conceited bastard!"

"Yeah and he hasn't contacted me after that. I guess, he's sure that I will contact him again on my own."

"Don't do it. You deserve more than that. He's being a jerk." What was wrong with Jason?

"I know and it hasn't been easy. I had moments of hesitation but I found my strength on time not to succumb to the need of texting him." she joked dramatically.

"That's good." I gave her my thumb up.

Helen sighed, "I can't lie to you. This past month has been hell for me but I was getting through it, you know. I was finally getting better and having hopes of moving on but then...." She trailed on, looking at me worriedly.

"Then what? He contacted you?" she shook her head, "Then what is it?"

She rubbed her face, "I don't know how to say this. I felt like if I say it it'll be more real."

"Helen, what's going on?"

"Well, I was doing okay. I was finally getting out of the heartbroken hole when it happened."

"What happened?" I said the two words deliberately slow.

"I remembered."

Curiosity was killing me, like for real, "You remembered what?"

"I remembered that I hadn't gotten my period in a while and that led me to realize it was late." Oh, "I wasn't worried at the beginning because my period is never exact, it's always late or early, never on time but as the days went by, I started to grow a little worried."

"Oh," that was all I could say.

Helen stood up and started pacing around the room, moving her hands as she spoke, "And I obviously tried to remember the last time I had sex and it was in your birthday."

Yep, I saw you.

I was so not going to say that.

"But you used protection, right?" Helen bit her lower lip, "Oh, you didn't."

"We were in the middle of the woods and we were drunk and horny," she explained quickly "We were thinking clearly."

"Hey, I'm not judging you." I gave her a reassuring look.

Helen took her wool cap off, messing her brown hair, "And remembering that event led me to do the math and I may have been ovulating that day."

"Oh no," this just keeps getting worse.

"But... did he..." I cleared my throat, "Did he... you know finish... inside?" I couldn't believe I just asked that. I was a virgin but I was well documented in sex. Our health teacher made sure of it with his crazy, uncomfortable explanations.

Helen ran her fingers through her hair, "I have no idea. I can't remember and I can't ask him."

"Oh... I so didn't see this coming," I had to admit it.

"Neither did I, especially when I was finally starting to move on. You see me calmed right now but I'm freaking out in the inside. I can't be pregnant, Jules. I can't. my aunt will kill me and she'll be so disappointed and Evan... well, he'll probably murder Jason." It was my turn to flinch at the mention of his name.

"It's alright. You're probably just thinking too much into this. Your period is a little late, a few days is not a big deal."

"It's 13 days late."

Crap!

"It's okay, Helen. Your stress could be causing the delay, I read that somewhere." I tried to comfort her.

She hung her shoulders, "I'm so scared. My boobs are so big and they hurt. And I can't have breakfast without puking it after it. I'm so..." her voice broke.

I jumped out of the bed and held her shoulders, "Hey, everything is going to be okay. You're not alone."

Tears escaped her eyes, "I am alone. I'm so scared, Jules. Jason doesn't love me, he didn't fight for me after I deleted him. I can't carry the child of a man who doesn't even care about how my day was. I can't. I'm not ready for this. I can't handle this on my own."

"Hey, first, we don't know if you're pregnant so let's just not worry in advance. And Helen, you are not alone. You have me, your aunt, Evan and they may be angry when they find out but that will pass and they will love that baby. I'm sure."

"I can't do this."

I pulled her into a hug, she broke into sobs on my shoulder and started crying. I simply held her, I knew how scared she was so all I could think of whispering while I caressed her head was: "You're not alone."