Dear readers, sorry for the long wait. If you didn't read my letter

Chapter Twenty-six

I counted on hours of tears and pain, on rainy days, on pretended smiles.

I thought the next day was going to be resumed in that. I thought the pain in my chest would be enough to ravish any spot of happiness in my birthday.

I thought...

I thought...

I thought so much, my mind skipped something really important.

My friends.

Those crazy human beings capable of doing everything for me, of crossing the world to make me smile.

So the next morning when I showed up at the bonfire spot, they didn't ask me about Evan, all they had to do was to take one single look at my face to know something had definitely gone wrong. They knew I didn't want to talk about it, they knew I couldn't talk about it. I was barely keeping myself together.

And without even saying a word, they made me smile. Why? Well, they looked like crap.

The spot where the bonfire had taken place looked like a mess. Leaves and rocks were all scattered around the chunks of woods we used as seats. There were bottles of rum and plastic glasses as well. And my friends looked like they had gone through the apocalypse and survived. Hell, more like they didn't survive and I was facing their zombie bodies.

To be a little more precise, their hairs looked like they could be the perfect accommodation for birds, with leaves and all. Their clothes had stains of mud and dirt and their faces... oh God. I was chuckling by that point.

Lau sat on the ground, yawning and whining about her back. Jordan was behind her, rubbing his face. Helen was lying on the ground, still asleep, using Jason's coat as pillow. Jason was shivering because he was only in his thin t-shirt. His lips were purple. Nadia was next to him, trying to start the fire again with trembling hands. Nash lied on his back, holding his head dramatically, murmuring things about alcohol being the most damaging liquid to ever exist. And Shane was in the same position next to him but he wasn't speaking so I had no idea if he was awake or not.

The night had been hard on them. It was even funnier seeing Nash and Nadia in this state. They'd always been so neat and organized. Messy wasn't an adjective for them and that morning, they looked beyond that.

After Nadia started the fire, she pulled out some sticks and marshmallows from her backpack. Wow, she seemed prepared for everything.    

Lau was the first one to speak, "Morning, sunshine." Somehow her bright smile told me everything was going to be okay. I returned the smile, surprising myself.

Nadia held up her stick with a marshmallow, "We're cooking breakfast, you want some?" she started handing sticks filled with marshmallows around.

Nash grimaced at his own stick, "This is unsanitary. We are going to get a stomach infection after this, I know it."

"Give it to me if you don't want it," Jason extended his hand towards Nash.

"No," Nash shook his head, "I'm starving."

"Ah," Shane groaned. "Stop making so much noise. My head is going to explode." He opened his eyes slowly, grunting. His hazel eyes landed on me and I watched him scrutinize my face in silence. I swallowed. He sat up, squeezing his hands at his sides. His anger was clear on his expression.

I averted my gaze.

"Hey pumpkin," Jordan called out to me, "Have a seat. I know this isn't exactly the most luxurious birthday breakfast but oh well,"

I smiled at him, "It's perfect." I walked to them and sat between Jordan and Jason. Nadia handed me a stick filled with marshmallows.

Jason passed an arm over my shoulder to pull me to him. He kissed my temple, "We got you." He whispered before letting me go. And then, they were their normal selves, it was as if nothing had happened at all. They didn't ask me anything and I was grateful for it. They didn't even mention Evan.

"So, Nash," Jordan started, "How is your hangover?"

Nash glared at him, "Is that a serious question?" Jordan shrugged. Nash took a deep breath, "My head is going to explode. My back is numb and my neck hurts when I tried to move it to the left. I feel sick, dizzy and sweaty. There's dirt on my designer's clothes. I can't find my phone and I think I have something in my hair and it's freaking alive because it moves," We were all gawking at him, "So, to answer your question, this hangover is the worst thing that has ever happened to me."

"Woah," Lau chuckled, "Someone woke up in the wrong side of the bed."

Jason grinned, "More like in the wrong side of the chunk of wood." We all laughed.

"You're such a snob." Shane said, messing Nash's hair but he squeaked when he pulled his hand out, "Ew! What the hell is this? A cricket?" Shane shook his hand until the cricket fell off.

"I told you there was something alive in my hair." Nash retorted.

Nadia grimaced in disgust, "That's gross." She started checking her own hair. And that's how everyone started checking their hairs in case something had decided to camp in their messy heads.

"What a lovely sight." I whispered, gaining glares from everyone.

"What are we doing today?" Jason asked, taking a bite off his marshmallow and spitting it out, "God, this is not cooked yet. How am I supposed to know?"

Nadia rolled her eyes, "Give it to me, I'll cook it for you."

Jason grinned at her, "Thanks. You're so nice."

"We're going to the river," Lau informed, "It's down the path and I heard it's pretty awesome."

Nash squinted his eyes, "I don't know if you notice but it's really cold. A river is not really the best option right now."

"Come on, man," Jordan always supported Lau, "Don't be such a pùssy. Take it as a challenge."

"If the water is cold, I'm not getting in it," Jason said, trembling.

"Cold water is good for hangovers," Shane patted Nash's head.

Nash slapped his hand, "Don't touch it. It's pounding."

"That's what she said." Shane smirked. We all laughed.

Nash gave us a strange look, "I don't get it."

"You need to get laid, man," Shane gave his valuable piece of advice as usual.

Since no one was making a choice any time soon, I decided to take the lead, "I want to go to the river." They all snapped their heads at me. I hadn't said a word in a while and they were so desperate to make me feel better that they all rushed to say yes and agree with me.

"River it is!" Jordan said standing up. I smiled at him.

When we finished our marshmallows, we picked up our stuff and cleaned the area. We started walking down the path and I felt like we were forgetting something important but I didn't pay attention to it.

I faced my archenemy: rocks.

Grasping some courage, I walked through them. It was a good thing we were walking one after the other, in case I fell or something. Lau was in front of me and Shane was behind me. He and I were last in the walking line. Morning birds sang from the top of trees, I looked up to see the sun through the leaves but the sky was clouded. The path was slightly wet because of the constant drizzles last night. I had to be really careful with the wet rocks.

"Can you walk faster? We're getting left behind," Shane complained.

"I'm trying." I said, concentrating on stepping on the right spots.

"If you want to be alone with me, you don't have to try so hard, babe." I rolled my eyes and then felt stupid because he couldn't see my face.

"Don't call me babe."

"Minion?"

I love you, minion.

I swallowed, "Just be quiet."

"I can't do that." I sighed, "I can't deny you the privilege of listening to my enchanting voice."

I snorted, "Enchanting voice? Seriously?"

"You're admitting it?"

"You're a lost cause." I said, smiling to myself.

"So is your boyfriend." He said and I stopped on my tracks, "Which means I just have to climb up to become your favorite lost cause." He was right behind me, his breath brushing the back of my neck, "that way, you will fall in love with me."

"Shane..."

"Whoops! Sorry! No comments about feelings, my bad." He kissed the back of my head, "Keep walking, minion."  

I started walking again, not caring about the rocks anymore. I needed to catch up with everyone but I couldn't see the back of Lau anywhere.

Just change the subject.

"How's college going?" my voice didn't sound natural at all.

"Good. Surprisingly, I'm getting good grades."

I frowned, "Really? That doesn't sound like you."

"I know, right? I'm ruining my player's stereotype," he commented, "I guess that's your fault."

"How is that my fault?"

"Let me quote you," he cleared his throat, "'I thought you were better than this. I thought there was something good behind that arrogant attitude but I was wrong.'" My heart skipped a beat. How could he remember that? I'd said that to him the day he played Melissa. It seemed so long ago, "I have no idea why but after that, I felt the need to prove you weren't wrong, that there's more to me than just the player."

"I don't remember saying that." I lied.

"We both know you do." he retorted, "You underestimate the power of your words, Jones."

I pretended to chuckle, "You're crazy."

"And you're hot."

"Shane!" I protested.

"What? Those jeans really suit you." He said in appreciatory tone, "How come I've never noticed you have a decent butt."

Warm blush rushed to my cheeks, "You're such a pervert."

"Am I? Seriously, I can't believe I haven't noticed it before."

"Shane, stop staring at my butt."

"I can't. You're walking in front of me and I'm a guy. It's natural for me to look at your butt."

My cheeks were probably flaming red, "You're making me uncomfortable."

"And you're making me hard."

My eyes almost jumped out of theirs sockets, "That's it!" I turned to him and grabbed his arm to pull him forward, "You're going ahead from now on."

He pouted, "Party pooper." We started walking again and I could finally hear the river from ahead of us. I could also hear my friend's voices.

"Finally." I whispered to myself.

"You know," Shane started, "If you wanted to look at my bùtt, you should've just asked." I slapped his head from behind.

The river was amazing: Crystalline water, beautiful small cascades and gorgeous flowers and small trees around the riverbanks. And surprisingly, the water was not cold, it was pretty warm, I had no idea why but I wasn't complaining.

"I can't wait to get in." Jason took his thin t-shirt off. And well, that was how a twisted chain of through went through my head. Seeing him shirtless reminded me of last night when me and I Lau had spotted him bànging the hell out of Helen against a tree. I thought about lecturing about it but then I remembered something even more important.

"Holy mother of Ruffles!" I exclaimed, holding my forehead.

"What's wrong?" Lau asked worried.

"She brought in the Ruffles," Jason added, "It's bad."

Nash scowled at me, "Mother of Ruffles? You mean, the chips? I don't get it."

"Shut up, Nash!" everyone snapped at him.

I held my face dramatically, "We forgot Helen."

"What?"

Jason furrowed his eyebrows, "What do you mean-holy cràp!"

"I thought you were going to wake her up!" I punched his shoulder.

"Ow! I was but then I..."

Jordan shook his head, "So we just left her there sleeping alone."

"We're terrible friends." Lau chimed in.

I glared at Jason, "You're a terrible boyfriend."

"We're not together anymore." Jason reminded me coolly. I grabbed his ear and started dragging him away towards the path, "Ow! Ow! Stop!"

When we were far away enough from the group, I let go of his ear and folded my arms across my chest, "We're not together anymore," I mimicked his words, "Are you serious?"

"What?" he rubbed his ear, "It's true."

"If it's true then why were you having sèx with her last night?"

Jason's mouth dropped opened, "How do you know that?"

"It doesn't matter, so?" I pressed.

"So what? We had sèx. It doesn't mean we're back together."

"Are you hearing yourself? Because you sound like a jerk."

Jason sighed, "What do you want me to do? She's the one giving me mixed signals. She ignores me, then she tells me she misses me, we ended up having sèx and then she ignores me again and the cycle beings all over."

"Wait, what?" I asked confused, "You mean, this is not the first time this happens? I mean, since the day she started to ignore you."

"Nope, this is actually the fourth time." Poor girl. "I guess, she can't resist me." I slapped his shoulder, "Ow! I was joking."

"Get back to the river. I'll go get her." I said, giving my back to him.

"Are you sure? I'm okay with going, I-"

"Just go back, Jason." I started walking back through the path.  

As soon as I left him behind, my determination seemed to waver. The cold forest didn't seem too friendly when walking through it by myself. It looked kind of scary. Fortunately, I found Helen half-way through.

"Hey," I waved my hand at her, "You woke up. Sorry for leaving you there, we're terrible friends."

She smiled at me, "It's okay. I needed to rest anyway."

"How did you know we have come this way?"

"I was actually kind of awake when you were leaving so I heard you guys." She admitted, "I just needed a moment alone."

"Oh," I bit my lower lip, "Are you okay?"

"Are you?" she asked knowingly.

"Trying over here." I averted my gaze, "I know this is none of my business but what are you doing, Helen? I mean, with Jason."

She lowered her head, "I tried to follow your advice but it's so hard when I love him so much. I can't find a way to refuse him. He as much as speaks to me and my heart betrays me."

I sat on a nearby rock, "I know the feeling."

Helen sat next to me, "I really don't know what to do."

I looked at her, "You know exactly what you have to do, you just don't have the courage to do it."

She smiled sadly, staring at the ground, "I know."

"Are you happy?"

She shook her head, "No."

"Then stop prolonging your pain, Helen. He's my best friend and he's a good guy but he can be an idiot sometimes. He thinks you're always going to be there for him and that's why he doesn't value you." I let out a long breath, "You can't keep surrendering to him every time he wants. You have to be strong. I know it hurts and you feel like you can't breathe properly but it will get better."

"I should forget about him, shouldn't I?"

"You should stop seeing him for a while. Don't be there for him. Be strong. Maybe that'll make him admit his feelings for you or maybe it won't. But you have to stop this painful cycle. You're only hurting yourself."

She closed her eyes, tear escaping them and rolling down her cheeks, "I know. I can't keep doing this anyway. I can't bear the pain anymore." I passed an arm over her shoulders to pull her into a side hug.

"Everything is going to be okay." I whispered for the both of us. Tears clouded my vision but I held them back.

And there, in the cold forest, I sat hugging a friend in need. A girl whose heart had been broken, just like mine. And only one thought kept repeating inside my head:

Everything is going to be okay.