Chapter Nineteen.

I hate heels.

I do, and they probably hate me. It could be a mutual thing, like the tough relation-ship I had with rocky surfaces.

I closed my eyes, moaning in pleasure while I took them off. My feet pounded and I lost feeling on many of my toes. I couldn’t deny how elegant people look with heels but they were bad for circulation.

I let myself fall back on the unfamiliar bed. Evan’s grandparents had made us stay the night, alleging it was too late to drive all the way back to Crookwell. But deep down, I knew it was an excuse to have their grand-son with them a little longer. I couldn’t blame them, they were probably afraid of not seeing him again after this night.

I stared at the ceiling, feeling the soft king size bed beneath me. I smiled, remembering how awkward it’d been when they asked us if Evan and I wanted to share a room. They tried to be open-minded about it but I saw the look of relief on their faces when I said we wanted separated rooms.  Evan gave me a strange look but the last thing I wanted was to scandalize his grandparents on the first time meeting them. Plus, there is so much temptation I can handle for one day. And Evan looked so hot that night, sleeping in the same bed with him wasn’t the smartest idea if I wanted to keep my V card with me.

The room was ridiculously spacious as it was expected from such big mansion. I wondered why Evan’s grandparents were rich. I mean, were did the money come from? Was it a family company thing or just heritage?

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Come in!” I said, sitting up.

Helen stuck her head inside and smiled at me, “Hey, you’re busy?”

I returned the smile, “No, come in.”

As she walked in, I stared at her gorgeous green dress. She walked expertly in her silver heels, she was used to them. Her brown hair was all in curly waves at the sides of her face. Her make-up looked professional and beautiful detailed. It was then I noticed the resemblance between her and Evan. Their faces had almost the same perfect, delicate features.

She bent over to give me a kiss on the cheek, “I haven’t seen you in a while,”

Then, she sat next to me, “Yeah, you look gorgeous.”

“So do you.”

“Where were you? I didn’t see you down there.” I asked out of curiosity.

She sighed, “I was late and then I was swallowed by some uncles and aunts. They kept talking and talking and I just had to sit there and listen.”

I gave her a curious look, “Why?”

“Because, according to my entire family, that is the polite thing to do.” She explained, massaging her ankles, “How are you?”

“Good, you?”

She lowered her gaze, “I’m… fine, I guess.” I knew she was not fine. Having her this close, I could see the sadness in her eyes and her defeated posture, and then she said the last thing I expected to her from her, “I’m glad he forgave you.” I froze. I knew she referred to Evan.

“You are?” I asked shocked. Helen had threatened to kick my ass if I ever hurt Evan so why was she saying this and being nice to me?

“Don’t look so surprise,” she looked at me, “We all make mistakes. It is in our human nature. It just happens, it’s nature’s way to keep life interesting.”

“That is a deep explanation.” I admitted, “I’m really sorry. I never meant to hurt him.”

She held my hand, “Jules, you don’t have to apologize to me. You already did to him and he accepted your apology and that is all that matters now.” She squeezed my hand, “Besides, I know he hurt you a lot in the beginning when he was fighting his feelings for you. He kept pulling you to him and then pushing you away. And still, you never gave up on him. You never let hurt affect the way you felt about him.”

“You know our entire story, don’t you?” she nodded, “I never thought he would speak about it with anyone. I mean, you know how he is.”

Helen gave me a deep, sincere smile, “You’ve changed him. You are a remarkable person, Jules.”

I blushed, “I’m not. I’m just… me.” I shrugged nervously.

“Evan isn’t half of the person he used to be. I’ve known him my entire life. After what happened, he was closed-up, cold and distant. It really surprises me how much you’ve made him change for good and I’m thankful for it. After all these years, he’s finally happy.”

Warmth spread through my chest, “I’m happy, too. You have no idea.” It felt so good to say it out loud.

She grinned at me, “I know. You have to see your face when you’re around him. You look so obviously in love is not even funny.”

“I do?” I wondered, “I can’t help it. I do love him.”

“And he loves you as much as you love him, if not more. Trust me.”

“Thank you.”

She cocked a perfect plucked eyebrow, “What for?”

“For not hating me after what I did.” I whispered, lowering my head.

“You’re welcome.” She said, standing up, “I must find my room and get some sleep. These heels are killing me.” She whined, stepping out of them.

“I thought I was the only one who hate them,” I looked at her amusedly.

“Well, you’re not. These things are terrible for circulation.”

I chuckled, “I thought the same thing!”

She started walking towards the door. I rolled my lower lip inside my mouth. I couldn’t let her go without knowing if she was okay after what happened with Jason.

“Helen?” she turned around with a ‘hmm?’ “Are you okay?”

She pretended a smile, “Yeah, I’m okay.”

No, you’re not.

I got on my feet, “You don’t have to lie.” I said softly, “It’s okay not to be okay, if that makes any sense.”

She let out a short chuckle, “It does.”  She gazed at the wall next to her, “I’m not okay, not even in the slightest. God, it feels so good to say it. I’m not freaking okay!”

“Let it out.” I advised, noticing she had probably been bottling it all in.

She laughed hysterically and I knew she was laughing not to cry while she let it all out, “My boyfriend called me someone else’s name when we were having sex. Can you believe that?” she asked me but she knew she wasn’t expecting an answer, “Of course, I’m not okay. I feel miserable, humiliated and cheated somehow and it’s fucking tearing me apart because God, I love him so damn much it scares me to picture my life without him.” My heart constricted in my chest.

“Helen…”

She let out a long breath, “Maybe this is all my fault,” she threw her arms out exasperated, “Maybe I was too easy, I slept with him too soon or something like that. Guys don’t take seriously girls like me, right? I just-”

“No!” I retorted quickly, “This is not your fault in any way. I will not let you blame yourself for Jason’s stupid mistakes. You are a good girl, Helen. You deserve to be treated as well and serious as anyone else. And if Jason can’t do that, then dump his confuse ass.” Did I just really say that?  He was my best friend but that did not mean I had to take his side when I knew he was in the wrong. And Helen was a good girl. She did not deserve this.

She relaxed her shoulders, “You’re right. I just… I’ve never been in love before. This feeling is overwhelming. It makes me weak and I cannot fight it off. It’s so strong.”

“There’s something stronger than loving someone,” I said and she stared at me in curiosity,

“What is it?”

“Loving yourself.” I stated, “Your happiness cannot depend on anyone. Your happiness is yours to build and enjoy. No one, absolutely no one, is indispensable in this life. Do not base your happiness on someone, base it on yourself and it will last much longer.”

Helen watched me, wide-eyed, “Wow, I see why you’re a writer. And you’re damn good at being one.”

I blushed, “Thank you, I guess.”

She ran her fingers through her hair, “What should I do? What would you do in my position?”

“I really don’t know.”

“Forget Jason is your best friend. Tell me what you would if you were me, honestly, please.” She pleaded.

I bit my lower lip, thinking, “I would be cold to him. I’d ignore him for a while, make him think he lost me. Sometimes, when a guy feels so sure about a girl, he takes her for granted and thinks she’s always going to be there no matter what and when they realize she’s gone is when they wake up and do something.”

“I don’t know if I can be cold to him,”

“Yes, you can. You just have to be strong. If he doesn’t fight for you, he’s not worth it. Remember what I told you.”

“My happiness will not depend on someone.” she repeated, nodding her head.

I rubbed her arms, “You can do this.”

“Jules, this Laura girl he mentioned, is your best friend? That Laura?”

I tensed up, I didn’t want to cause unnecessary drama, “No, of course not.” I huffed, and I saw the relief crossing her face.

“Well, I better go to bed now.” She pulled me into a hug, “Thanks for everything, Jules.”

“No problem.” We pulled away, and she headed to the door.

“And Jules?” she called out, with her back to me, her hand on the opened door.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for not giving up on him. Thanks for saving his life.” And with that, she was gone.

Jason.

 “That dress is too short, don’t you think?” I said, watching Jules getting in Evan’s car from her room’s window.

Lau huffed next to me, “Of course not. She looks amazing.”

“I’m not saying she looks bad but I heard Evan’s grandparents are conservative.” I watched Evan drive off as the sun was setting behind them. I really hoped everything went well for them. This was important for both of them.

I turned away from the window. Lau was organizing and putting her make-up stuff inside some bags. Her hair was in a messy bun, loose strands fell down the sides of her face and neck. She wore a purple pajama, which consisted of a simple t-shirt and shorts. Every time she bent down to pick something up, I would get a glimpse of her cleavage. I felt like a pervert watching her like that but I couldn’t help it.

What is wrong with me?

“And what happened to you?” Lau asked, lifting her gaze to gesture my outfit, which consisted of a towel since I didn’t have any clothes here, only the boxers I was wearing.

“Oh well,” I scratched the back of my head.

I was f3cking my girlfriend and I said your name instead of hers.

“I had a long night,” I said instead. Lau cocked an eyebrow, her eyes glued to my bare chest and abdomen. I smirked, “Checking me out already, Lau?”

She huffed, blushing and averting her gaze, “You wish.”

I took a few steps closer, “You were totally checking me out.”

She chuckled, “I wasn’t. Get over yourself.”

As I walked closer to her, something dawned on me.

We are alone.

For the first time since I had found out the way I felt about her, we were alone and that could not be good. I struggled to keep my distance but I couldn’t help it. I walked until I was right next to her.

She turned to me, folding her arms across her chest, “What?” she frowned but the amusement on her face was evident.

“I want you to admit you were checking me out.” I said coolly.

She raised an eyebrow, “And if I don’t?”

I shrugged, “I’ll find a way to force it out of those pretty lips,” Sh¡t! Did I just say pretty lips? Lau’s eyes widened but then her expression morphed into one of victory.

It was her turn to smirk at me, “You think my lips are pretty?”

“Don’t change the subject.” I moved closer, forcing her to step back. I watched her swallow and licked her lips.

“I wasn’t checking you out.” She denied, avoiding eye-contact. She was getting nervous. I cornered her against the wall. She tried to escape, taking one step to the side but I placed my hands against the wall at the sides of her face, effectively caging her. She was so close, her sweet yet tempting smell filled my nostrils. I fought the urge to take a deep breath and fill my lungs with her scent.

“It’s alright. You can touch if you want,” I gestured her my abdomen. He kept her head down, I hadn’t even touched her and I was already breathing a little heavily.

She put her hands on my chest and I almost closed my eyes to enjoy the contact, “Step back.” She pleaded but her voice was shaky. She weakly pushed me back but I did not move a muscle.

“Afraid of me, Lau?” I whispered, leaning closer to her face until we were mere inches away. She shook her head, “Then why don’t you look at me?”

“I…” she gave a weak push against my chest again, so I grabbed her wrists and held her hands above her head against the wall, “Jason!” she squirmed against me. Her br3asts rubbed against my chest, making my breath even heavier.

God, I cannot hold back any longer.

I buried my face in her neck, sniffing her skin. She trembled against me, “What are yo-you do-doing?” she stuttered. Her breathing was a heavy as mine. I knew she wanted this as much as I did, I could feel it in the way her body responded to my closeness, in her voice, in her breathing.

I looked back at her face and she still had it lowered. I used my free hand to lift her face to me. When my eyes met hers, warmth spread through me.

This has to be right otherwise would does it feel so good?

I caressed her lower lip with my thumb. She shook, parting her lips, “You feel it, too? Don’t you?” she didn’t give me an answer but her silence was enough for me.

I leaned forwards, giving her enough time to say no and when she didn’t, I was ready to taste those juicy lips.

In that exact moment, her phone went off and whatever trance we’d been in, broke off. I let go of her as she picked up her phone from the night table. She looked at the screen and guilt spread across her face fast and I knew who it was.

Jordan.

She ran her fingers through her hair and looked at me. She didn’t answer the call and the phone went silent after a while.

“Lau…”

“Don’t!” she raised her hand for me to stop, “I have to go.” She went for the door but I couldn’t let her leave like that.

I grabbed her arm, “Lau, wait!”

She threw my hand away, “No, we need to get away from each other. What the hell was all that about?”

“I wish I could explain it, I-”

“I have a boyfriend, Jason and you’re with someone, too. You and I have been friends since forever. We will not risk all that for one of your stupid games.”

Alright, now I was pissed off, “You think this is a game for me?”

“Isn’t it?” Ouch. That hurt, “Everything with you is about teasing and playing. You’re always been like that.”

“Is that what you think of me?” I asked, coming closer.

“Yes.” Hurt set at the pit of my stomach. She thought that low of me. She really thought I was playing a game with her.

“You’re only saying this to push me away so you can go on with your perfect boyfriend.” I said bitterly.

“He loves me and I-”

I smirked at her, “See? That always comes first ‘He loves me’ what about you? Do you love him?” she opened her mouth then closed it. My smirk grew bigger, “I felt you, Lau. You were trembling in my arms. I know you feel something, I know you-”

“Shut up! Just shut up!” she yelled at me, looking infuriated, “You have no right to do this to me now. Why now, huh? I have someone now. Why are you so being so selfish?!”

“Because I cannot f$cking help it!” I yelled back at her, “Don’t you think I’ve tried? I just can’t! I know it’s late, I know that but the way I feel-“

“Stop! Don’t you dare confusing me now! Just stop!” she opened the door, “This never happened, Jason.” She whispered and then she was gone.

  I stood there with my heart out on the floor, feeling as she had stepped on it several times. I knew she was right to be mad at me. Why now?

Well, love seems to work in the strangest ways.

Xx

A/N: Evanless chapter! Boo! Oh come on, you’ll have your dose of Evan in the next one. I know you can fight your addiction or maybe you just can’t help it like Jason’s feelings for Lau, huh? Just hold it together, people!

Anyway, I’m currently at the airport waiting for my flight which is delayed (Not shocked) and it’s the first time I upload a chapter from the airport. So, first timer, high five people! You see how much dedication I have for you guys? See it? No?  Oh well!

Opinions on the whole Helen/Jason/Laura situation?

Hugs, selfish best friends, and Evan’s sexy body,

Ariana!