CHAPTER 1

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it all started since taehyung was filming his first drama.

taehyung who was the least person with packed schedule now turned to be the busiest who was only home for two to zero hours.

usually taehyung would wait for namjoon and yoongi that spent almost 18 hours of their days working, or the others to come home in front of the television. sometimes already drifted off in light sleep, or eating snacks to lessen his hunger, gazing at nothing too deep in thoughts, playing games, singing alone, or just doing nothing. killing himself slowly with boredom.

usually namjoon and yoongi, often times with hoseok, were on the studio, working on their music with the producers; jimin practicing the dance move and vocal with jeongguk and jin; or some of them shooting and filming for advertisements.

usually they would ask taehyung for company, "the more the merrier" they said.

but if taehyung should be honest, now it was more because that his presence was really urgently needed at the moment. it was always for work purpose he came, and not because the others significantly wanted him to be there. the kind of need that was making him felt unnecessary and unneeded.

usually taehyung went with jimin and jeongguk for buddies' nights. they would go out secretly, eating on a cheap restaurant, playing at park in the dark, eating ice cream in front of the han river, and ended with playing games in their dorm with bodies wrapped inside burritos of blankets until morning comes. just the three of them.

usually taehyung, jimin, and Jin gathered in one of their rooms just to chill together, watching anime or drama and talk anything either happy things or problems they recently had, sharing secrets and blackmail like girls.

usually taehyung was asked by namjoon to help him to sing some parts or help him with some lyrics or just accompany him in the studio.

usually taehyung would take a nap with yoongi on the sofa with his head on yoongi's lap or shoulder or yoongi's head on taehyung's lap.

usually taehyung and jimin, sometimes with jin or jeongguk (if they were not the victims) would prank the hyungs like five year olds and then laughed out loud until their stomachs hurt and throat no longer letting out proper sounds.

usually hoseok would ask taehyung to watch movies with him, snuggling together on the sofa or bed, just the two of them. or taught taehyung their new dance moves and motivates him like a great teacher hoseok was.

usually jeongguk always stick around taehyung whenever they were together like the "dumb and dumber" in the group. they were great like that, unbeatable in games, bonds came up stronger like they were meant to be together since the beginning.

usually jin would ask taehyung to cop vegetables or stir sauces if he was waiting for the dinner alone on the dining table and chat along mindlessly.

taehyung was usually the one present first before the others. in any occasion, be it at the dorm or their work place or any meeting, taehyung had always waited for the others patiently. he was comfortable with the way like that not because of his punctuality but that was just taehyung. one that couldn't sleep well before the others had safely tucked under their covers, sleeping soundly. one that came first and waited until he saw the others were safe and sound, not wanting to miss any informations about them. one that worried over the others before himself. it had been like that since taehyung was born, it was a taehyung thing.

usually taehyung's mind would drift to think about any people that ever crossed his life. be it his close friends, family, acquaintances, teachers, or even enemies. he would then thought about the moments since the first meetings until the recent activities he had with whoever he think about.

for taehyung, it was always better to think about others than himself. it brought him warmth just by remembering happy moments he ever had and people that knew him. it made him settled and contented with warm feelings filling up his heart on the thoughts of others.

never once he let his mind thought too long about himself. it wasn't because he hate it, but it was just really hard to distract himself from thinking other things and made him feeling more unsettled. he didn't like the uncomfortable feelings of being ridiculed by his own mind when all he think was himself. it was like someone inside his mind was laughing at him and it always made his stomach churn.

usually taehyung was the first to know if something was up between the group. he was sensitive, like a walking radar even if he may look like someone didn't care with that blank face of his.

but usually it was also taehyung the last one to notice anything wrong with himself. he never cared about his well being and never wanted to. dedicating himself for the others he cared about and let himself flow with the rhythms of his life peacefully.

and right now, something was definitely up with the others that taehyung immediately knew.

currently taehyung was sitting cross leg in his usual seat on the living room waiting for the others to come home. a weird crunching sound subtly came from his stomach that he rubbed slowly to ease the pain he had received since this noon. taehyung hasn't eaten for the last fifteen hours, he knew it wasn't healthy yet he couldn't bring himself to touch a plate.

the other members hadn't yet come home and they usually meet up for dinner in their dorm after their packed schedule. especially when they were parted from each other. taehyung was away for filming drama and the others were having meetings with the producers and managers concerning their planned of new come back. at this kind of time, it was necessary as namjoon said before to gather up after their days end. and the members were keeping namjoon's words as they promised taehyung today that they will have a traditional dinner like a family they were.

and taehyung was still waiting and waiting.

no sign from the others aside from jeongguk's meet u later 2nite hyungs and jin's hope the ingredients we have is enough for the dish in the group chat since many hours ago.

usually there were some wait for me there taetae! from jimin or has the filming ended yet? or we're waiting tae from the others. but it all had subdued since a few weeks ago and taehyung no longer looked for his phone to expect messages thrown at him, needed to be replied.

and as the clock had headed straight to twelve and taehyung had woken up from his short nap with stomach still empty and no sign of the other members stepping into their dorm, taehyung still couldn't help himself to fill his hunger with food but more guilt.

it had been four hours since taehyung had been waiting for the others.

it was never taehyung's fault that he didn't come home to greet his members because of his busy schedule and late night filming.

but now taehyung couldn't help but wonder if it was actually his fault that he missed four of their traditional dinner that his friends decided to cancel the date without telling him beforehand.

he should've tried harder and harder to reach home earlier from the shooting place and spent more time together with his "family".

and since the others wouldnt be home until probably the next morning, he could've eaten outside on the convenience store or cook up some ramen. and now he was too tired like his energy had drained off his body even to stand up.

but it wasn't the time to be emotional and sad, taehyung thought. perhaps it was his fault that the members deemed that he wouldn't come home tonight and ate outside with the managers. he remembered telling them that this was his last filming so he could come home early but since the others were busy, taehyung dismissed his negative thought, thinking them forgetting it because they were tired.

he gulped down a tight lump forming on his throat and bracing his tired legs to limp towards his room by himself. feeling better with stomach empty than filling it before everything would just be thrown up later soon.

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to be continued...