heyo, sorry that i unpublished this once. i just dont feel settled w this chap but in the end theres nothin major that i edited here lol dont expect too much

CHAPTER 18

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"where have you been?" namjoon almost growled as soon as jeongguk arrived at the dorm with a sleeping taehyung on his back.

jeongguk shrugged nonchalantly, "a fair. thought you didn't care." he walked past the elder.

"hey, jeongguk! i'm still talking to you, you rude shit. let me pick him--"

rolling his eyes, jeongguk kept ignoring namjoon, continuing his walk to retrieve taehyung onto his bed. then stopped when he remembered that they had just moved to a new dorm and they hadn't decided taehyung's room. or maybe they had and jeongguk just didn't bother to join the discussion, locking himself in the only single room right away.

"where is he sleeping at?" jeongguk crossly asked, turning to face namjoon. damn, he should've thought about taehyung first, not childishly avoiding his hyungs. how selfish, jeon, he thought.

"right, you don't know. that's why you should've let me take care of him from now. taehyung's sleeping with me," namjoon said, expression satisfied while jeongguk looked angrier. he moved forward to grab taehyung from jeongguk but the the latter only held tighter.

"no, thanks," jeongguk spat. "i am perfectly capable to do it myself." he turned to walk towards namjoon's room yet was stopped again.

"it's not necessary now. you're tired so just leave tae with me." the atmosphere was thicker and the tension was so obvious between the two males. defiant stares were thrown to each other. it was as if the temperature in the room had just gone up to a full thirty degrees.

jeongguk raised his eyebrow. "look, hyung. why are you so worried about him all of sudden? weeks passed and i sure as hell can say that i care about taehyung the most here, taking care of taehyung is my responsibility. all you need to do is just stay out of my way, hyung, don't bother," jeongguk said coldly and left namjoon in the hallway alone before he could retort back.

---

the sun was much too bright, falling directly on his eyes, making it scrunched painfully because of the warmth. taehyung grimaced and groaned softly before peeling open his tired eyes and rubbing the sleep out of them to see the room that did not belong to him. still disoriented, he found himself swimming in a sweater that was way too big and also did not belong to him. he remembered wearing something different when he was disposed from the hospital yesterday.

right, yesterday. okay, there was a cute dog in a park. he remembered that. screaming, cheering, laughing with jeongguk. they came to a fair together. the games, souvenirs, jeongguk falling, getting piggyback, falling asleep. the memory was fun, taehyung smiled to himself. but wait, if he'd fallen asleep, then jeongguk should've brought him to the dorm, so why here?

his room was way more crowded, and he'd got some stuffed aliens sitting on his pillows. this room was luxurious and emptier. his bed sheets were yellow and white whilst this bed sheets was dark blue, and it was made of silk, soft and sweet to touch. the bed was too large, and there were no stuffed aliens. the room was much larger than his own, with a computer set over in the corner, a 40 inch television mounted on the wall across, wide cupboards abreast the wall, and a hideous dark carpeting with a huge england coloured pillow. did jeongguk bring him to a hotel? but the room looked so homey to be a hotel, then... whose house is this?!

the bed beside him shifted and taehyung's heart promptly dropped straight out of his chest and into his stomach. he squeezed his eyes shut when a hand went to ruffle his soft hair. the hand felt rougher so it must not be jeongguk.

"good morning," the voice beside his was rough and deep. taehyung jumped in his skin harshly and whipped around, breathing heavily.

"namjoon hyung!?" his expression was something that of pure shock as he gazed down at the boy next to him. namjoon's grey hair was fanned out over his hand that he used as pillow and his tired eyes were staring back at him with amusement. the distance between them were too close, much too close to taehyung's liking. taehyung licked his lips and turned away, face suddenly hot.

"w-where is this, hyung? we're not in our dorm," taehyung asked.

namjoon pushed himself up and scooted closer to taehyung, resting his head on the heel of his hand. a small smirk played at the corners of his lips, "we're in our new dorm, tae." taehyung's eyes widened in shock. since when did they move? the thought of no one bothered to tell him was painful as he pushed the familiar bitterness that had started to seep inside his stomach to go.

"but you guys didn't tell me," the younger confusedly said, frown was visible on his forehead.

"well, we wanted to surprise you, but you were deep asleep when you arrived. so, yeah."

"oh," taehyung intelligibly said. "are you sure, hyung? this room looks so luxurious..."

namjoon chuckled. "why would i lie? ah, and we're roommates now," he winked playfully at the younger.

taehyung would be lying if he wasn't surprised with the sudden closeness, and he felt guilty for acting weirded out of it. he couldn't help but felt too awkward. after all, the last longest conversation he had with the elder was when he accidentally bumped into jin hyung in a practice, causing everyone to be mad at him--not a good memory, shortly. he then excused himself to go to the bathroom to freshen himself, oblivious with the downturn of namjoon's previously lit expression.

the bruises and cuts were healing, taehyung noticed, as he took a shower. there were faint scratches from the old cuts and a few sickly yellow blotches from the worst bruises, but they were fading at least. with the supports the doctors and jeongguk gave him to heal himself from whatever his mental was having, taehyung was relieved that he was progressing, yet an apropos dismay was lingering, making him feeling on edge. he imagined a brusque shadow with a form of hands kept pulling him and whispering sweet-nothings of how to scarce his skins again with blotchy red, blue, and dark purple. it was fun, they said, and taehyung agreed wholeheartedly. but he was sure as hell jeongguk wouldn't like it, it was idiotic not to heed jeongguk's advice and he hadn't felt that sad lately to bring any energy to do it. so, this wouldn't do for now, taehyung thought, and immediately finished his shower.

---

"where is taehyung?" jimin asked as he approached the dining table with the others already gathering for breakfast. "i heard he arrived tonight."

"he was taking a shower," said namjoon not succinctly, stirring his spinach soup halfheartedly.

"who picked him up yesterday?" jimin said as he reached his own rice bowl and dig in soon.

jeongguk grumbled an indiscernible 'mmhe' while munching, paying little to none attentions to anyone except his phone but quickly looking at the direction where taehyung came out from his room wearing a baby blue sweater two sized bigger and shorts, messy hair and reddening cheeks from hot shower, looking so innocently adorable. jeongguk gestured with his head for taehyung  to sit beside him, which immediately obliged by the elder.

no one brought it up but everyone knew that it was the first time since so long they'd eaten all together, the seven of them. the remaining fights between the hyungs and jeongguk had brought the tension back, enveloping the room with unpleasant uneasiness that were noticed by everyone--especially taehyung who blamed himself, thinking he was the reason of the distance that separated them. he couldn't understand the conflict that happened within himself so he couldn't expect the hyungs to understand him either. he had no choice but to gulp down the guilt that was stuck inside his stomach heavily. this feeling, however, was familiar--when you felt like you were drowning in an invisible sea of obscenely guilt alone, and felt like you were surrounded by billions pairs of eyes boring into you even if no one bothered to see you, judging, no helping.

seokjin had prepared taehyung's dishes as well, serving them with a small but warm smile but soon ducked down to eat his own breakfast like nothing happened, suga kept eating quietly without looking up to knowledge taehyung's presence, and hoseok only offered him a nod and muttered "eat well, tae" then continued to eat, whilst jimin and namjoon were staring at taehyung uneasily, like kicked puppies, when taehyung did nothing but ignored them. the silence was an uncomfortable one and it brought sweats to taehyung who had just finished the freshest shower he'd had for a while.

the room was tranquil until jimin broke the tense atmosphere. "taehyungie, you need to eat more food to heal yourself. here," he picked an egg roll and put it on taehyung's bowl; "you look so skinny." and then ruffled taehyung's messy blond hair.

jeongguk who was looking from the side quietly also put a sliced sausage on top of the egg roll jimin gave to taehyung. "you need more meat if you wanna be stronger like me," he said, lowly. looking annoyed like a scowling child, jeongguk made taehyung giggled and ate both of the food jimin and jeongguk gave him before nodding shyly as thanks.

another slices of baby carrot were put on taehyung's spoon again, and before he could stuff his mouth with it, jeongguk already fed him a full spoonful of rice and sausage. taehyung's eyes widened so big; the gesture was sweet but that was too much, adding the slight blush on the usually emotional constipated jeongguk. everyone's eyes were set on the maknae lines and seokjin finally faked a cough and glared towards jeongguk and jimin who were fighting with their own stares.

"enough, you two," said jin, dismissively. "let taehyung eat in peace. he could feed himself just fine."

but jeongguk ignored the eldest man only to shove his own glass of milk to taehyung. "drink that, too. you do need it if you couldn't even walk more after we went to the fair yesterday."

taehyung grumbled sheepishly and mumbled sulkily, "i could walk just fine. you just insisted on piggybacking me." he meant to say those only for jeongguk to hear, but jimin who sat on taehyung's other side also heard and chose to bring it up.

"fair?! piggyback?! what the heck was that?!" the tension was back again and suddenly the room felt hotter than ever.

"apparently, jeongguk had immaturely brought tae to a fair after picking him up from the hospital," namjoon scowled.

"excuse me," jeongguk scoffed, completely fed off by the remark. "please enlighten me how was that immature of me to do that?"

"taehyung hasn't fully recovered, you couldn't just bring him anywhere til late at night! til he tired himself, unable to walk!" namjoon said crossly.

"i could walk--" taehyung tried to say but was cut in by jimin who exasperatedly said, "why did you let jeongguk to pick tae up, hyung?"

"because no one could," jeongguk growled, body tensed with anger. "you are always busy. i was the only one to take care of taehyung, visiting him daily, and care much enough of him. it is my duty to pick him up as well."

"i visit taehyung, too. don't be too cocky that you came more often than us," said namjoon, scoffing. "and you can't just say that you care just enough of him. you don't know that. we all care about him, I  do care about him."

"namjoon hyung is right, jeongguk," jimin added. "don't be such a conceited ass. it gets annoying when you claim as if tae is yours that you can do whatever you favour on him. he could've wished for someone else to pick him up yesterday."

"of course taehyung wanted me to pick him up," jeongguk gritted his teeth in rage. "i'm his closest friend, we need each other."

jimin scoffed. "you! taetae's closest friend! that's one ridiculous idea you got there!"

the topic got to nowhere necessary nor desirable to be talked to, especially to taehyung. but he couldn't butt in to the conversation with how fierce jimin, jeongguk, and namjoon looked, fighting like kids over a mere candy. taehyung couldn't understand how was it such a bloody big deal about who got to pick him up from the hospital. he could totally just got home himself if no one were to come get him. he was a fine grown man!

"okay, stop it," jin said, strictly. placing his chopsticks on the table rather harshly, emitting a loud clash that stopped the fight between the three. "this is starting to get absurd. why are you so angry that jeongguk picked taehyung up and brought him to a fair? taehyung had agreed to go along, and anyway, if no one were to come, taehyung could go home himself just fine. he was just sick, not dying!"

"yeah, you guys are making it big," hoseok chimed in. "taehyung was just stressed and exhausted by our packed schedule. things like this happened to everyone. it's really no big deal, man. he's recovering well as the doctor said, don't need to baby him."

jeongguk spat, "i'm not babying him! and it is a big deal! he wasn't just stressed! he--"

"jeongguk," tae warned jeongguk in a tone barely above whisper, gripping the younger's hand tightly.

"there is nothing wrong with him, jeongguk. don't be such a drama queen. or else, don't make taehyung look like a drama queen," said jin. "you were always so polite towards us, hyungs. you never stand up for someone, yet you're like this. what's wrong with you?did taehyung actually teach you how to be this rude?" and boy, was taehyung shocked with the sudden accusation. his jin hyung had never accused someone like that.

"w-what?" taehyung meekly stuttered, totally surprised.

"oh my God, hyung," jeongguk rubbed his face exasperatedly with his hands, frustrated. "this has got nothing to do with taehyung!"

"but jin hyung is right, jeongguk," hoseok cut in. "you never stand for someone, this is the first time. what did taehyung do to you that make you this rude? even to fight your own hyungs?"

jeongguk could've answered hoseok right away, spilling the damn truth that everyone certainly needed to know. the answer was on the tip of his tongue, but secret was secret. he'd promised taehyung that he wouldn't tell anyone about this and that he would protect his hyung first over everything. but more importantly, he had promised himself to find out more, to make sure that he was right all along about taehyung's problems and deepest secret, to dig in more until the secret was lying bare for he to solve and for anyone to finally know. so he chose to keep silent. picking his chopsticks and started to eat more brusquely with boiling anger inside every inch of his veins.

the tension was multiplied and the only thing taehyung wanted to do right now was to flee to his room, searching comfort under his comforter and hugging his alien plushy and the one jeongguk gifted him yesterday on the fair, and never come out again. this was one of the worst mornings he'd ever had, and he never wished to be welcomed back by this fight. he felt so unwanted and left out and like a burden. shame was filling his mind and heart as tears were gathered on his eyes so he turned his face downcast. if he were not to dash to the bathroom a few seconds back, he wouldn't have been stopped by an egg roll being put on top of is spoon by none other than a min yoongi offering a silent comfort that taehyung had needed the most this whole messy morning.

to be continued

im actually fighting over writer's block. things haven't been nice to me lately and whenever i tried to write, i never got satisfied. idek what i feel w/ this chapt. all ik is that this is MESSY and idk anymore how to fix it so whatEVaH. sorry for the delay ill try to write more this holiday so keep up with my updates please ^^

random question:  have u guys ever read "our omega leadernim" on webtoon? its basically vkook!!