CHAPTER 2

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taehyung didn't come out at all from his room in the end.

he was used to the feelings of hands crushing his stomach and punches delivered at it since so long. but after failing to wait for the other members to come back home, he fled straight to the room to sleep to forget his hunger. it'd been two days since that night and the bangtan boys minus taehyung had not even arrived yet and the brown haired boy hadn't even eaten any bit since then. it seemed the boys weren't only simply eating outside but also spend the nights at who knew where.

he should've felt his stomach roaring in hunger that night but when the other members weren't there to remind him to eat or cook him something, he just tended to forget completely. taehyung's mind hadn't helped even a little at all. his souring mood of feeling rather abandoned was unacceptable for him yet he couldn't help but to feel it.

taehyung knew it was all his fault since the beginning not to work much harder and spend time more with the hyungs and jeongguk for them to finally forget to inform him. and this was all what he deserved so he should have just wallowed the unnecessary pills of sadness and enjoy this void of loneliness.

oh how taehyung hated being lonely.

taehyung was curled up on his bed like a new born fetus, completely vulnerable with blanket and pillows around him as he writhed in pain from his stomach. he really should have eaten right now but he knew if he stuff even just a teaspoon of rice into his mouth he would throw up. it was all useless to try when he couldn't even lift himself up from the bed.

he should've got used to the sickness. this was just some stomach ache when he had worked so hard to reach his success until now from zero. after all he came to seoul without any spare money but his saving that wasn't really enough to feed him well. he knew about his family's financial crisis but they weren't that poor to have proper meals and nice place to sleep in. but he also knew that his parents had never given him money apart from very essential things such as school.

everything was hard for taehyung before. he remembered having to work part time to buy books that he needed for school, or to buy his own lunch, or just to saving up for his future. his stomach ached when no food was prepared for him at house, or when he didn't have any money to buy food on his own. yet whenever he asked his parents for money it had always been rejected quite harshly, saying that he didn't care for his siblings' education, health, or simply their whole beings so he stopped doing that and just be independent. taehyung deeply cared for his siblings and if he had to spend all of his money for his siblings he would do it without second thoughts. he couldn't help but thought that he didn't deserve those scoldings his parents thew at him, all blaming him for things that he didn't do but after some times he felt very guilty himself. so he decided to buy his siblings things as apology. funny thing was, his plans had always backfired because his siblings had declined to accept his gifts that they already had them, courtesy to their parents.

it was when taehyung was auditioned to be part of the bangtan boys that he saw a glint of happiness and relief from his parents' eyes. he knew all along that he wasn't really wanted in his own family since the very first and that he was only a burden in the family, weighing them one more mouth to be fed and a clingy personality as a plus. he was happy when he had to leave them to live alone, that he wasn't going to bother them anymore. the red jacket that his late grandmother gave him was the only thing that could keep his smile from remembering his hometown. fortunately his mother had shipped it to seoul. it was the most expensive his parents had given him and it was such a great push for him to work harder.

he still didn't have much money for proper daily meals when he was a trainee. but he was lucky because the trainees were all required on diet regimens and this kind of stomach bug was a usual thing for them, especially taehyung who was used to hold his hunger.

after all everything came after hardships. and this sickness was just a result and proof of how hard had we worked.

yet, somehow the pain was really unbearable right now.

taehyung could eat as much as he want now. perhaps he was getting greedy with the amount of food that he eat, that was most possibly why he got back this stomach ache. he caused his own sufferings, taehyung groaned inwardly, hating himself more for getting into this kind of problem. he didn't dare to think how he would be able to dance in this condition. for crying out loud he couldn't even stand up let alone walking. and the fever didn't help at all.

taehyung really wanted to cry.

a single tear had escaped from one of his eyes as he cuddled his pillow tightly. oh how he wished for someone to be there with him. he didn't want to be a burden by wanting to be taken care of, but a presence was just enough. bangtan had been the first home taehyung felt like he belonged at but right now the dorm felt like a foreign place.

taehyung muffled his sobs with a pillow, his weak lithe limbs were shivering and trembling uncontrollably as he felt his worsening headache. he was too weak to grab his phone to call the other members, so the only thing that could ease his sadness was to sleep more.

and so he did just that. slowly falling into the darkness with an obscure feelings of helplessness and longing of a family.

"gukkie... hyung... i'm sorry... please come home..."

to be continued...