^ OK firstly before we start, just wanna tell you that i LOVE THIS SONG bYE

CHAPTER 10

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as days passed, taehyung did improve and the progresses were impressive. jeongguk was proud of him, really. the elder spent his time longer in the practice room than any of the members did. he truly worked to his bones that jeongguk rarely saw taehyung in the dorm when the latter was mostly in the practice room these days, as if he had moved to live there. even in off days, taehyung still practiced, only went home at 2 or 3 in the morning, and repeated his routines the next day. jeongguk had to force the elder to stop just to eat because the breaks that their dance teachers shouted at them had fallen deaf on taehyung's ears who always continued the choreography by himself.

jeongguk really wanted to shout at taehyung to fucking  stop overworking himself already but the hyungs decided to be bitches as they refused to approve taehyung's hard work on improving his skills. jeongguk really wanted to shove the information, that taehyung was tired and needed to be told that they were all satisfied that he was good enough so he would stop, on their throats but his complaints were not even considered until now. he hated how the others really didn't seem like they cared even a bit for the second youngest. how they didn't notice how exhausted and tired taehyung's face looked, how huge taehyung's eyebags were, and how pale his usual glowing tanned skin was, as if they were blinded by the thoughts of perfection.

but maybe the others would soon recognise taehyung's blood, sweat, and tears through his hard work and appreciate him more. for now, jeongguk just had to wait patiently and helped taehyung with as much as he could without holding the latter's spirit down.

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"hyung, do you think this aegyo would look cute on me?" jeongguk asked taehyung while they were taking a break from their choreography practice. jeongguk had successfully dragged an unwilling taehyung to rest and eat lunch with him. unfocused and looking at seemingly nothing, jeongguk flicked taehyung's forehead. "knock, knock. you there, taetae? where's my taetae hyung~?"

blinking to attention at the sight of a strong hand in front of him, taehyung was frightened and shrieked loudly. startled, jeongguk jumped back a little. "oh God, i'm sorry, hyung! i didn't mean to startle you!"

trembling slightly, taehyung slowly found his way to look at jeongguk. "ah, i'm sorry..." averting his gaze downward, he let out a deep sigh. he would be lying if a memory from his childhood was brought down harshly upon him just because of the view of jeongguk's large hand in front of his face. heh, as if jeongguk would ever slap or punch him.

jeongguk bit his lip, chewing hesitantly before he decided to ask something that had been on his mind for quite some time. "is everything alright, hyung?"

the pure innocence of the question almost brought tears to taehyung's eyes. however, taehyung felt empty and alone. even as he was sitting in the room with the people he cared the most about in this world, he felt cold. "i'm just... tired," he said, inhaling for air he didn't realise he hadn't been breathing in.

"you look so tired, true. you barely slept in the dorm and you always practice, of course you're tired." Jungkook retaliated, his eyes scanning taehyung's body up and down, clearly not satiesfied with taehyung's short answer. catching the gesture from the corner of his eye, taehyung tugged the collar of his shirt higher up his neck and hands, unconsciously trying to cover the bruises beneath the fabric. the actions did not go unnoticed by jeongguk and he was about to press further but was interrupted by hoseok sliding next to jeongguk and jimin next to taehyung.

"you guys did well this morning," hoseok complemented, grinning brightly. "especially you, jeongguk~ i'm so proud~"

"i didn't do that much better, hyung. but thanks," jeongguk deadpanned, his gaze darkening rather than his usual genuine happiness at receiving a compliment. hoseok and jimin shared a glance before hoseok continued. "but really! you did a really great job today. you were as perfect as ever, even more today."

"just drop it, hyung. i think taehyung hyung was the star today. he gracefully killed the dance. he works the hardest." jeongguk interjected, his hand slid to grip taehyung's arm, noticing the elder tensing up.

"well i did say you guys were good today. although maybe taehyung might need more practice a bit. he was good but could have been more--"

"Hyung," jeongguk growled loudly, glaring dangerously at hoseok, "have you not seen him practicing so much that it exhausted him?! you said practice more a bit?? are you that--"

"jeongguk." taehyung cut in sharply. his face was downcast so jeongguk couldn't see his expression but from the grip he had on taehyung's hand, he could feel that the elder was trembling slightly despite how sharp he sounded just now. "i'm sorry, hyung, i will practice more from now on," taehyung said before leaving the table.

taehyung was ashamed of himself and he felt sick to his stomach. escaping sounded as the best idea so he did just that, leaving a bewildered jeongguk and a confused hoseok and jimin.

---

the pain in his heart was unbearable so taehyung really ought to find his solution for not feeling it. all he knew the razor blade was already on his hand as he sat inside one of the cubicles of the bathroom. his tears weren't flowing down like flood the last time he did, but he did feel numbness in his head despite the pain in his chest. the new physical pain as the razor met and kissed his soft sensitive skin was blooming, overwhelming taehyung's sense into something close as hot and finally he was able to breath.

the new pain had covered the pain in his chest and taehyung was thankful of it. the sensation was addicting and very much worth the stings he got after. even as the dark red liquids flew down from his thighs and dirtied the floor, taehyung felt happy. escaping the reality was nice. only in this moment did taehyung forget what disappointment meant, or how to please people, or how to work himself better.

there was only red in his eyes and he felt in love with the colour, way more than dark blue and purple.

---

"it's been so long since we had an outing like this," seokjin said after gulping his soju. his posture was so relaxed with hands stood propping his weight on the wooden floor behind him. they were inside a restaurant with delicious food lied down on the table in front of them. the idea to go there was from hoseok to celebrate how good their practice went today. this such of an occasion rarely happened between their packed schedules so they really treasured their time whenever they got time to do it.

"feel so full~" namjoon added, pouring another glass to himself.

jeongguk scoffed, how would they be full when there were only six of them right now whilst the other one was laboriously struggling on such an unnecessary practice. "you missed out one person, hyung."

"the kid refused to come along so why bother," hoseok said. it was true that jeongguk asked taehyung to come but the latter refused saying he got practices to do, but before jeongguk could try harder to persuade taehyung, the hyungs butted in and almost dragged jeongguk to go with them. jeongguk's blood boiled with the thought of how lack his hyungs' efforts to stop taehyung from overworking himself.

taehyung did look worse after what happened today on their break. his veins were visible on his deathly pale skin, he sweated more than normal, limping, and there was some inept blotchy stains on his jeans. jeongguk was worried.

"speaking of taehyung..." namjoon almost slurred, he was surely tipsy by the amount of alcohol he'd consumed. "he's been getting under my nerves these days." jeongguk's eyes shot wide at namjoon's sudden confession, he pushed back the urge to punch the leader.

"yeah. after shooting the dramas he's been getting worse. he should've been preserving in his real work as a singer. like a lost dog he is, getting excited in many things, couldn't focus in the most important thing," seokjin said, oblivious with the deathly stares jeongguk threw.

"i told him to practice again today, hopefully he did as told because the improvisations weren't good enough for the group," hoseok said thoughtfully.

"he's bringing us down," yoongi stated coldly. and that was when jeongguk's patience broke.

"you guys are always blaming him! can't y'all see how skinny and sick taehyung is recently?! he has been practicing like there was no tomorrow and it is eating his health away! he tried his best yet you don't even recognise his efforts, as if they were all just dust. what do you guys really want exactly?!!" jeongguk burst out, if smokes could come out from his ears, the room must have been foggy by now. "can't you see how he suffers just to reach your overly high expectations?! do you realise how unfair you guys have been to him?!" and by time jeongguk finished, he was panting like a bulk, or as if he had just ran a marathon. but still, he was not satisfied with it.

"what the heck is your problem, guk?!" yoongi spat. "it's true the kid has been a pain in the ass lately, don't defend him just 'cause you pity him."

"what the hell?! i don't pity him! whenever i'm being a pain in the ass you guys always encourage me but you guys don't even appreciate taehyung's presence!"

"don't you ever question us the way we treat our juniors. you have no right to do that," seokjin said, coldly, clearly not amused with jeongguk's outburst.

"you guys fucking ignored him whenever he's in the dorm!"

"oh shut the fuck up, jeongguk," jimin poisonously cut in. "we did not ignore him, he was barely at home. i think it's the other way around. he is the one who distances himself from us all."

"y'all seem happy with it, not even bother to ask him what's wrong and bond our relationship with him," jeongguk sarcastically spat.

"he's a a grown-up, jeongguk. he can come to us anytime he wants," namjoon said.

"see?! that just explained that you are being ignorant!"

"oh my God, jeongguk, what did that drama queen feed you that you're being this worked out over nothing?" seokjin scoffed.

"nothing? so... him being all sickly pale, skinny, and sick is nothing?! taehyung is our friend! you guys are seriously--" jeongguk was cut off by a fist flying on his direction, landed perfectly on his sharp jaw, making him stumbled backwards from his precious form, all tense between standing and crouching down. jimin was the one who punched him. by now a few of the restaurant staffs were worriedly glancing at them.

"it's enough defending your little prince, jeongguk, but you went overboard," jimin growled. "i know you are worried of him but that doesn't mean you can be that rude to us."

namjoon immediately sobered up and forcefully ushered them to gulp down the fight and leave the restaurant right away. the managers were called and swiftly dealt with the problems, erasing any proof of their fights from the public's eyes.

just a curious question : vkook or vmin?