CHAPTER 14

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it had been days he'd been caught up inside those white, suffocating walls. it jailed him into the obscurely numbness that felt vastly infuriating because taehyung didn't know how to do with it, whether he was happy or horrible for it. the numbness adding to his loneliness when his sense could only catch silence and solitude.

a wistful consternation pulled him into deep thoughts when he remembered no one had bothered to visit him since the day he woke up from his deep slumber, not even jeongguk. had everyone forgotten about him already? he knew so well not to expect when happiness did last, but at least he had wished for the glittery feelings he felt whenever jeongguk were with him would last longer with the presence of jeongguk by his side. the smell of medicine and artificial air freshener saturated around the room, bringing a nauseating feeling, as it remained as a reminder of how alone he was and would always be.

there was no tears that could be detained anymore. the constant fatigue was back again due to the down mood he'd just felt. it was as if there was no bone inside his body as he lackadaisically slumped onto the bed. he wanted to get out, escape the room but his legs felt like jelly. taehyung felt so useless. it was almost insurmountable to hold up his body when he was feeling like this, taehyung knew this so well because he'd experienced this long before when he was still in daegu.

taehyung remembered the last time before he blacked out, jimin cornering him with an indecipherable expression like the elder wanted to do something to him, in a bad bad way as he freaked out. taehyung's life hadn't been a perfect one with nice parents, supportive friends, and convincing wealth, even though he never got any complains about it, it somehow made him to be one that couldn't easily tell people about his life's, let alone secrets. he preferred to listen to other's problems and dealt with his himself. so he didn't feel obligated to tell jimin his problems and was surprised when jimin came furiously accusing that he had been distancing himself from him. hell, taehyung hadn't even known he was distancing himself with so many things inside his mind, such as how could he catch up with the group's progress. jimin looked like he almost wanted to snap taehyung's head off back then, and it scared the hell out of taehyung. was it his fault that jimin was like that?

taehyung noticed that the members slowly had changed. they were different from before they were used to be. one thing he knew, they were not as sweet as before, probably except jeonggukie who'd always been their baby. but, it hurt when he felt the distance between them all, slowly drifting them apart from him. he deemed it caused by adulthood that started to catch up with them all yet a tiny bit of hope which taehyung dearly held unto had wished for everything had not turned to be like this. once again he wondered, had it been his fault from the beginning? had he always been such a worthless trash that slow down the others so much that they started to despise him? it must be right as hell because if taehyung really deserved to feel this guilt, then he must be the ultimate garbage for the society. jimin was one example for his failure to please the other members, and he better fix himself as soon as possible before everyone had turned their backs towards him again, just like his family had done to him.

jeongguk probably was disappointed at him, too, like others; that was why he didn't come just to see his pathetic, worthless face, staring blankly at the wall like the stupidest human in this fucking world. taehyung hated thinking like this, but he hated himself more for refusing the thoughts from intruding his vulnerable mind. the repulsive thoughts kept ghosting restlessly despite how much his movements resembled a slot.

taehyung stumbled and fell down on his knees, hurting his ankles had he not been moving for a while. when had he started to move? he remembered lying down on the bed just now but now there was only a few meters distance between him and the balcony. he must've been in a really deep thought then. he continued his step until he arrived to the destination. cold wind harshly slapped his delicate cheeks, reddening them into a beautiful hue of red rose. the coldness had seeped into taehyung's lithe and skinny body through his hospital gown, but instead downtroding him to enter his room, taehyung felt so much free.

he gripped the railing until his knuckles turned white not that he minded. the busy streets below had distracted taehyung's cloudy mind with the lively noises. and he would be lying if he didn't love it. cars passing on the road, people with thick coats running to catch their life, woman with colourful hair, a grandma feeding the stray cats, highschoolers joking around as they came out from a cinema building across the hospital. taehyung found himself mesmerised with how lively the atmosphere below, how isolated himself from all those happiness and freedom people must have felt down there. he felt like reaching down and join the society, hand outstretched to get hold of those dots resembling humans.

the want was digressively hard to resist, and taehyung just suddenly needed to jump and join anyone there. it was as if he hadn't been standing in the twentieth floor of the building, it was so fucking close and taehyung could just move one step to hug the people.

a violent thump was heard before someone had inadvertently scrambled to grip taehyung's waist quite painfully and taehyung found himself thrown back onto someone's chest which was as hard as a rock. a meek groan came out from taehyung as he wished to stay as the same position because crashing to someone as built as a brick wall was almost the most painful experience taehyung had physically felt. warmth started to engulf him and he realised how cold the outside was.

the person under him was breathing harshly and so was he, suddenly realising how fast his heart had been thumping dangerously. he felt so calm back then so why had he suddenly felt like he had just ran a marathon? a strong arms lifted his weak body in a flash and taehyung was now face to face with the culprit that just stole his freedom. jeongguk.

his watery eyes had unhealthy redness on the corners, his veins were visible on his face as his scowls were deep, resembling him with an angered bulk with how heavy his breath. since when had jeongguk come? why was he here? why did he grab taehyung that harshly? he must've hated taehyung so much that he wanted to pull and push taehyung like a rag doll just so he could learn his lesson. his father did that to him so maybe jeongguk's purpose to come was for that, too? taehyung cowered in fear but willingly submitting himself for the incoming hits or punches he thought would come.

"what the fuck did you do just now?" jeongguk growled.

taehyung couldn't bring himself to speak. someone must have stolen his voice, like ursula did to the little mermaid, except taehyung still had his legs now. even if he could speak, taehyung also didn't know what to reply. what did he do? he recalled feeling something nice and wanting, but beside that, he remembered nothing.

a few minuted passed just them staring at each other until jeongguk let out the loudest sigh taehyung had ever heard coming out from him. wow, jeongguk must have been very disappointed at him now, taehyung anticipated a punch again. yet, the younger just pulled taehyung from his sitting form and picked him up just to laid him gently on the bed. jeongguk's broad shoulders was slumped down and he had a defeated expression on his face which taehyung wished to kiss them goodbye immediately.

"tae..." jeongguk broke the silence. "promise me you won't come near the balcony again, okay?" he said in a trembling voice. "i thought i was about to l-lose you that time... w-why--" jeongguk extricated a broken sob as tears were falling from his eyes.

taehyung had no idea why jeongguk suddenly looked so vulnerable in front him. he moved forward and delicately held the younger in a hug, comforting him by patting his dark onyx hair as he nodded on the promise jeongguk wanted him to do. as much as he loved to see the view from his floor, the sight of jeongguk breaking down broke him enough to let that go. after all jeongguk was his first priority now.

"hyung..." jeongguk wailed brokenly as he clinged to taehyung's lithe body for a few minutes before he finally calmed down.

a hand cupped taehyung's cheek to wipe the tears that had mysteriously appeared there without taehyung knowing. "please, hyung, let me help you," jeogguk said and once again taehyung had no idea what did the younger mean, but a flood of sadness suddenly came filling his heart and soon he sobbed pathetically.

"please let me in, taehyung," jeongguk said, eyes determined with something so fierce. "lean on me, trust me, let me help you."

for the countless time, taehyung had no idea but his inner self had agreed to what jeongguk said with no qualms. he leaned forward, eradicating the spaces between their bodies closer, closer, and closer. as if it wasn't enough already, the warmth coming out from jeongguk wasn't enough to engulf him in that reassuring feelings. he nodded again tearfully.

"stay by my side, tae, so i can protect you." taehyung nodded again.

taehyung only had a few days in his life that felt like miracles. but it was like a dream when he was plastered this close to jeongguk, his beating heart painfully leaning towards him when he came, washing the anxiety and doubts, strong arms protecting taehyung from whatever scaring him.

slowly, slowly, and slowly, taehyung didn't feel lonely again. it was as if the numbness from this suffocating room had disappeared and he could feel himself breathing easily, following jeongguk's slow and steady breaths.

taehyung may be one that could easily tell people about his life, but now he found himself leaning towards the reassurance that jeongguk gave him, trusting the boy to take care of him, wanting to share his secrets and problems as much as he could. moments like these didn't happen often in taehyung's shitty life but damn, had it felt so much like a dream.

a short update, and a painfully heavy one.

i plan to write for 2.5 to 3k words in a chapt but i decided to divide this chapter into two so i would be on time with my update schedule.

i feel like taehyung has been so sad lately with him barely smiling and the realisation made me write the angst doubled heavier, im so sorry for that. i promise that fluff will be out in a few rows of chapter!!!

random question: would it be a good idea to write a new vkook fanfic featuring SnowWhite AU?