It was their first kiss, but it wasn't a fairytale magic kiss atop a peaking ferris wheel.

It tasted of salt from tears and Donghyuck wasn't sure if they were Mark's or his own.

Mark squeezed his hand again as a reminder that despite the words that had slipped his lips, Mark was still there.
In reality, it was probably because they were still high in the air and Mark honestly couldn't go anywhere.

Donghyuck didn't know when Mark's other hand had found it's way to his soaked cheek, but it was there, wiping away tears that were still flowing.

Ah, so he was crying.

Why on earth was he crying? How could he cry over such a silly little thing?

It was just a tiny peck, merely a meeting of lips, but god it left his stomach in knots. The good kind, the kind where it left you wanting more of whatever made you feel that way. You could almost call Mark's lips a drug.

Donghyuck would sell his house and all his belongings to buy more of that drug.
You could call him an addict.

But he had just ruined it. Any chance of having it slipped through his fingers as Mark backed away from him.

Donghyuck didn't even open his eyes, savoring the feeling he knew he'd never feel again.
So this is what it felt like?

He brung his hand to his lips, his eyes still closed, making the sensation of cold fingertips on warm lips that much more dramatic.

Mark kissed him.
Mark had just kissed him.

And he may have kissed back.

Donghyuck finally opened his eyes when their cart started moving again and Mark was already looking in the other direction, at the festive lights below.

"Okay," he whispered, not even sparing Donghyuck a glance.

"What?"

"Okay," Mark turned back to him with a soft smile. "Lets be friends."

Donghyuck was too dumbfounded to say anything else, simply gawking at Mark until they reached the bottom and had to get out.

"How was the ride?" Jisung asked them as they hopped off.

"F-fine. I thought you were riding with Chenle?"

"I was, but I hate ferris wheels and I got nauseous so I had to get off."

"Where are the others?"

"Jaemin and Jeno are still on and so are Chenle and Renjun. By the way," he pointed at Mark. "Who the fuck is this?"

Mark snickered and Donghyuck had almost forgotten for a second that he was there. He was trying so hard to.

"I'm Mark." He smiled and waved. "Jisung, right?"

Jisung nodded and almost fell forward as someone bumped into the back of him. Chenle, of course.

"When are you going to introduce your boyfriend to us Hyuck?" Chenle spoke as if he hadn't just latched himself onto Jisung like a leech.

"Mark's not-"

"I'm not his boyfriend." Mark let out calmly before Donghyuck even had a chance.

It felt weird to hear him say that.

Donghyuck noticed Renjun throwing daggers at him with his eyes.

"Then what are you, Mark?" Renjun inquired snarkily.

"We're just friends."

Something about the way the words rolled off his tongue made Donghyuck uneasy. He just wanted to have a fun night at the carnival with his friends.

"Shouldn't Jeno and Jaemin be off by now?" Jisung asked as he looked up at the towering spinning wheel of doom.

"Yeah we saw them a few cars behind us. They were sucking each other's faces."

As if on cue Jaemin and Jeno came strolling up.

"Guys, there's a swan ride!" Jaemin bounced.

"A what?"

"The little swan boats you get in and it's supposed to be for lovers and stuff." Jeno explained. He seemed less enthusiastic than his hyperactive boyf riend.

"Great, have fun." Donghyuck shooed.

"Oh no you don't. You're riding too."

"With who, myself? If you can get me a hot looking bed to partner with I'll gladly participate."

"Isn't Mark your boyfriend?"

"We're-"

"We're just friends." Mark was about to piss him off. Why did he say it so fast.

"Well whatever. Ride as 'just friends' then."

If Donghyuck was a cartoon character this would be the moment where smoke would blow out of his ears. Why was everything against him? Including his own friends.

"I think I'll sit out." Mark chuckled and sat down on a bench.

"Me too-" before Renjun could park his ass, Donghyuck pulled him back.

"If I have to suffer you have to go too."

Least to say the swan ride was hell. Renjun kept bombarding him with questions about Mark and there were sickening lovey dovey things everywhere. At one point tiny paper hearts spilled over them.

Jaemin and Jeno were behind them, thank god. There was no telling what those two were doing.

A ways ahead of them were Jisung and Chenle and they actually seemed to be enjoying themselves. Besides making fun of all the gross decorations and laughing, they appeared as if they were even cuddling. Well, more like Chenle was practically on Jisung's lap and Jisung was just sitting there dealing with it.

"Why are you such an idiot Donghyuck?"

"I ask myself that everyday."

"So what are you two going to do now?" Renjun looked down at Donghyuck who was now laying his head in his lap.

"Who knows. We'll take it one day at a time I guess."

"Well keep me updated." Renjun played with the strands of Donghyuck's hair to keep himself distracted and it was starting to make him sleepy.

"I'm going to fall asleep."

"If you drool on my jeans I will ring your neck until you stop moving."

Donghyuck instantly sat up and started rubbing his eyes. When the ride finally stopped Chenle and Jisung were already heading hand in hand to another ride and Mark was about to fall asleep on the bench.

"Did you seriously just sit here the whole time?" Donghyuck sighed as he walked up to the blonde.

"Of course. I was waiting for you." Mark stood up and yawned.

"Are you ready to go home?"

"What? No! I want you to have fun with your friends."

"I'm tired too. They'll be fine." Donghyuck turned around and waved  them over.

"Are you leaving?" Jaemin asked as he put an arm around Renjun's shoulder.

"Please don't leave me to be the third wheel with these two."

"You won't be our third wheel, you'll be our equal number three." Jaemin winked and Renjun rolled his eyes.

"You going to be okay getting home?"

"Yes Jeno, I'm not five. Mark will be with me too."

"Yeah, I'll protect you."

"No, someone could snap you in half. I meant if we got attacked I could just outrun you."

The walk back home was mostly a blur of blacks and blues, the sky turning into a deep ocean for stars to glide through like sailboats. Streetlights lit up sidewalk cracks that Donghyuck purposely stepped over just for the fun of it.

Mark was walking right beside him, their shoulders occasionally brushing and clothes ruffling. Donghyuck doesn't know where Mark got that shirt, but he wished he would wear it more.

Only so he'd stop wearing his clothes of course, no other reason at all.

"Donghyuck, what do you think of me?"

That was sudden. It caught him a bit off guard. It was also the first time Mark had actually used his whole name now that he thought about it.

"What do you mean?" Donghyuck finally replied, watching the way his shadow was racing in front of him and dancing near Mark.

"We're friends right?"

"Yeah, that's what we agreed on didn't we."

"Do you even want to be my friend?"

Donghyuck peeked at Mark now, staring up at him with furrowed brows. "Where are you going with this Mark?"

"I can go back you know. If you don't want me you don't have to keep me."

"Mark no-"

"As much as I want to, I can't just be friends with you."

They both went silent, the streetlights growing duller the closer they got to their destination. Footstep echoes and cricket bellows filled his ears, but couldn't drown out his thoughts.

"Why did you kiss me?" It had been several minutes of unbearable silence and Donghyuck's house was already in view, but he had to ask. He wasn't even sure if Mark had heard, he barely heard himself.

"I wanted a taste of what could have been." Mark stopped, so Donghyuck did as well.

Mark was smiling at him and it was more painful than anything else. He could have screamed, he could have cried, he could have raved and writhed, but he smiled.

"What could have been?" Donghyuck managed to croak out.

"If you had liked me back."

Donghyuck didn't know what to say so he stood there, under a blinking streetlight and deep ocean sky, mouth agape and heart beating in his ears screaming 'alive!'.

"Mark, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Mark stepped forward to wipe tears away from the boy's cheeks. Donghyuck didn't even know he was crying. "You can't help how you feel, just like I can't help that I like you."

Donghyuck stepped forward and let his face sink into the fabric of Mark's shirt. Mark wrapped his arms around Donghyuck's shoulders and laid his chin on the boy's hair.

"I'm sorry Mark." Donghyuck cried into his shirt. Mark shushed him and rubbed tiny circles into his back, eventually calming him.

"Are you okay now?" Mark asked as he pulled away.

Donghyuck's eyes were puffy now as he looked up at him and Mark couldn't help the small laugh that slipped his lips.

"Don't laugh at me dick." Mark flinched when he was slapped in the arm.

Mark grabbed both of Donghyuck's cheeks in his palms and squished his face. He began to laugh even more at the sight and Donghyuck punched him.

"Hyuckie?"

"Yes?"

"Do you mind if I have one more taste of what could have been?"

At first, Donghyuck thought Mark was joking, but the serious look in his eyes as they pierced his own made his stomach curl.

Would he really be able to just be friends with Mark? If they kissed again there was no way he could forget it. They couldn't go back.

He closed his eyes.

***

This story reached 1k reads ;-; I love you guys sm! 2 kisses in 1 chapter I need to cHILL. I'm on a roll with these updates tho. Hope you enjoyed the gay mess my brain threw up.

It'S rUdE tO pOiNt JiSuNg