Midoriya's POV

"Is that everything?" Kirishima asked me, setting a duffel bag down. "It doesn't seem like much."

"Clothes and necessities. What else did I need?" I asked the red haired man.

"Right." He was hesitant in his response. "Is this enough clothes?" He asked.

I nodded my head and pulled a drawer of the dresser open, beginning to place my clothes inside of it.

"Well, I'll leave you to it. I think Katsuki's making some lunch, so come on down when you're ready," Kirishima said and left the room, leaving the door slightly cracked.

I sighed and looked around the room. There was a full sized bed in the corner with black and grey sheets and comforter. A small blanket at the end of the bed that was red with a checkered pattern. There was an oak desk on the other side with one of those swivel chairs. On the opposite side, where I was located, is the tall dresser that matched the same color as the desk. Beside the bed was a large window that had light gray curtains pulled to the sides, allowing the bright light to shine in.

This is where I will be staying for the next few weeks. I don't think I plan on staying long, I don't want to intrude on Kacchan's and Kirishima's life.

To be honest, part of me still thinks this is a bad idea, but the pleading look Kirishima gave me just had me saying yes so quickly. I couldn't turn him down and I know all he is wanting to do is help, but I really do think this is just something I have to get through on my own.

He's right and I am not alone, but there are just some battles fought better on my own, rather than dragging everyone else down with me.

After all, anyone close to me only ends up getting hurt in the end.

I bit my lip to distract my thoughts from thinking back to the pathetic life I've lived these last few weeks. I didn't want the reminders of how horrible I've been keeping things together.

I need to try harder, for everyone else's sake. They need me to be their hero, not the other way around.

I finished unpacking the last bit of my clothes. I'm surprised I still had clean laundry left, considering I haven't really done a load since getting back to town.

Once I finished, I placed the few extra things I brought, like my laptop, phone, journal, and charges on to the desk.

Not a lot, but just the things I knew I was going to need. Besides, I can always go back to get more things if I need it. Again, I don't plan to stay here for terribly long. Just enough to show them I'm doing alright.

Afterwards, I went downstairs to find the other two and was hit by the delicious smell Kacchan was making.

"Katsuki." Kirishima approached, hesitantly. The worried look flashing through his eyes had me concerned and I backed into the wall to not disturb their conversation.

Am I eavesdropping? Yes. Is it wrong? Also yes. Am I gonna stop now? Haha, no.

"What's on your mind, Ei? You've been quiet since coming back from Deku's room." Kacchan pointed out.

I watched slightly from the corner the way Kirishima bit his lip and fidgeted where he stood. His eyes not really focusing on anything.

Kacchan noticed this and stopped stirring the pot of food and focused purely on his boyfriend.

He laid his hands gently on either side of Kirishima's arms. "Eijiro, whatever it is, you can tell me," he said gently.

Kirishima looked up at him and sighed.

"I-I think I'm going to rearrange my work schedule."

Kacchan's face contorted in confusion. "What do you mean? Why?" He let his arms fall to his sides and leaned slightly on his left foot.

"I-I just would like it better if we were all on similar schedules, I know we already have a few days where we work together and have similar days off, but now we have to include Midoriya in on that and he basically works opposite of me except maybe once or twice a week."

"He doesn't need a babysitter," Kacchan remarked, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, he doesn't, but I can't help him if I rarely see him. It's hard enough trying to get him to come home from work on his own, let alone during times I'm all the way across town," Kirishima pointed out to him and Kacchan just sighed.

"I get where you're coming from. If you want to do that, fine. I won't stop you. I know how important this is to you," Kacchan encouraged.

It's weird seeing Kacchan so calm and communicative, I have spent a large part of my life trying to diffuse that bomb around him and Kirishima managed to do it in a few short years. Maybe even in just the first year of knowing each other.

Does that make me a little jealous? Yes it does, but that doesn't matter. What matters is they have each other and they make each other happy.

Was I happy? With Uraraka? I loved her, there's no doubt in my mind. I still love her so much. It hurts waking up in the morning and not having her there beside me.

She's the whole reason I chose Deku as my hero name. She's the reason for a lot of things I have now, like the increase in my self esteem, and the encouragement to continue fighting.

Well, maybe I haven't been taking all that she has taught me seriously recently, but it's hard to do when I am constantly reminded of her when I try.

I hate compliments now. I get them all the time on the streets from the people who look up to me, but I can only give them a fake smile and a quiet thank you before I'm wanting to rush out of there.

It just reminds me too much of her, the sweetness in her voice, the kindness in her words.

They're gone now.

"Deku, what the fuck?!"

"U-Uh, Kacchan!" I freaked out, looking beside me to find both Kacchan and Kirishima looking at me.

"Are you alright? You were mumbling. How long have you been standing there?" Kirishima asked.

"O-Oh, I-well. N-Not long."

"What's wrong? You're very pale. Do you not feel good? Do you want to go lay down? Katsuki can make you some soup."

"Jesus, Eijiro, you need to take a bigger breath than him," Kacchan remarked, bringing a hand to his temple.

"K-Kirishima, are you really going to rearrange your schedule because of me?" I asked, I just had to know if he's serious.

I'm just more trouble than I'm worth and I hate putting both Kirishima and Kacchan through this.

"I-I was thinking about rearranging my schedule yes, but only because I think it would benefit all three of us," Kirishima tried to justify. "Would you not like me to?"

"I-" I froze and looked down at my feet.

Part of me did mind. I hate the trouble I was placing on them and I didn't want them to uproot their lives for me. I was no longer the weak kid I was back in middle school and I hated that I sometimes let that slip, allow others to see the weakest parts of me. However, it was also a little comforting to know that Kirishima wanted to help me out so much that he would even switch his whole schedule, his whole life around for me. Kirishima truly has the kindest heart I have ever encountered.

A sunny warmth comforting a long, cold winter.

Worry flashed through Kirishima's eyes, but he waited for my answer, not pressuring me to say anything. Though I did notice Kacchan's foot tapping impatiently slightly behind Kirishima.

"N-No, it's fine. If it's something you want to do," I said timidly, the internal struggle of what I want is still raging inside of me. I figured the best solution to this dilemma is to let him decide if it's what he wants, not me. I am the one intruding on their lives.

Kirishima gave me a shy smile and nodded.

"Hey, shit heads. Lunch is about ready, so let's go eat." Kacchan hollered and the three of us got plates of food and sat at the table.

It was silent and truthfully, a bit awkward. I think the conversation between Kirishima and I didn't go the way either of us had planned. 

I guess Kacchan could sense the tension because he kept grinding his teeth together and stabbing his vegetables violently.

"Thank you for the food, Kacchan. I think I'm gonna go unpack a few more things," I said and stood up with my plate of food. I went over to the sink to clean off the plate and set it in the dish washer.

"You better eat more at dinner, nerd," he commented, but didn't look up at me from picking at his plate of food. 

"Okay." I left the two alone and went back up the stairs. I didn't actually have anything else to unpack, but they don't need to know that. 

Maybe this was a bad idea. I mean, I'm just being a pain to them and I can see that! Kirishima's changing his work schedule, I'm taking up space in their house. Hell, we can't even have a normal conversation with each other!

I'm just not in the right head space to be able to keep my normal attitude up, but I have to if I am ever going to reassure them that I am fine and capable of taking care of myself. 

I sat myself down on the floor, my back pressed up against the bed. I wrapped my arms around my legs and hid my face in them. Exhaustion and stress overwhelming me. Tears slipped passed my eyes.