They ride down the elevator in silence Carly's thoughts are flying. Amelia is still the most frustrating woman she has ever met, but she is also starting to think that Dr. Shepherd is kind of a bad ass.

Despite the fact that Carly gets under her skin constantly, Amelia doesn't seem to be bothered by her. In fact it almost seems to be the opposite. Every time their eyes meet or they interact Amelia seems to be amused by both the situation and by Carly herself. It's a little bit annoying but also...kind of attractive.

As they walk into the ICU and towards their patients, Carly can't help but think of how beautiful Amelia is. The way her hair moves with every step she takes and the way her eyes sparkle even when she is annoyed.

Something in Carly makes her want to push her boss to the breaking point just to see those eyes sparkle more. If only for a few seconds before all hell broke loose. It could be fun...and hot, very very hot.

Carly smiles to herself, her thoughts running rampant of ideas to push her boss to the breaking point just to see that spark in her eyes again. This woman is dangerous, and Carly is not ready for all the feelings that have started to surface. So she chooses to ignore them for now

Carly's thoughts are interrupted by them reaching their patient, an older woman with a brain mass who needs to be monitored closely.

As the two women enter, the patient seems to recognize Amelia immediately. "Amelia!" says the patient with a smile. "Oh Helen I didn't think you'd remember me." Amelia responds with a smile "How could I forget the woman who beat my brain cancer." The two share a quick hug before Amelia starts to take her vitals and examine her.

As the two are talking Carly can't help but stare at her boss and the way she is talking to the patient. She is so sweet and caring with Helen, it's like her boss is a completely different person when she is speaking with the patient. Suddenly Carly finds herself wondering what would happen if she was to get sick and Dr. Shepherd was her doctor. She smiles at the thought before shaking her head, scolding herself, and returning to the patient's bed to watch in awe as Dr. Shepherd works her magic.

"Helen, I want you to keep letting the nurses know when your pain level is at anything above a 7. I know the chemo can cause a horrible pain throughout your whole body and we need to make sure that we take care of that. Is that okay?" Amelia asks gently, with a soft smile.

Helen nods before replying "Yes, of course Dr. Shepherd." Dr. Shepherd nods and walks towards the door, taking a moment to look back. "I will check on you later Helen, and don't forget to hit that button if that pain gets too bad."

Helen nods again and says "Of course, Dr. Shepherd. You know me, a trooper" She says with a smile. "Carly I'll be back in a few minutes I just want to get Helen a morphine drip. Keep her company" Amelia says and smiles back at Helen before leaving the room, leaving Helen alone with Carly for a few moments.

With that brief smile Carly gets a glimpse of the kindness and love Dr. Shepherd is capable of. It causes her to feel all sorts of complicated emotions. All this from a few seconds of interaction.

She shakes her head again, this woman is dangerous...and so damn captivating.

Helen can feel Carly thinking. "You okay Dr. Connors?" Helen asks, looking at the resident with a small smile. She is aware of how Carly looks at the woman she admires so much. She knows that Carly must be conflicted and she just wants to offer her some comfort. "You look deep in thought." She says to the girl

Carly smiles back, trying to act casual. "Oh, just thinking of a way to annoy Dr. Shepherd." She says, it's an obvious lie.

Helen studies Carly for a moment before speaking again. "You like her a lot don't you? But at the same time you like to make her angry" she says, noticing even more of the subtle ways in which Carly is drawn to Dr. Shepherd. She doesn't ask the woman a question because that would make things too obvious. Instead she just waits to see if her resident will open up.

Carly looks at Helen, her eyes wide in surprise. She is stunned that Helen has picked up so much on her feelings and how she views the woman.

"She just...annoys me, always with the snarky remarks and that stupid smile after we have these arguments" Carly replies truthfully, she can't keep lying to this woman. She has seen her heart.

"And I like making her mad because I hate how she is right all the time and seems unfazed by any attacks I make...but at the same time it's like she fascinates me and I can't stop thinking about her."

Helen smiles at the resident. She had figured it was something like this, the girl just needed to let it out. "It seems to me you have a crush on her Dr. Connors." The older woman says matter of factly.

Carly's face grows red. There's no way she likes her boss. "I do not have a crush on Dr. Shepherd" she replies, still not completely comprehending what this woman is implying.

"You just told me that she fascinates you, I'm pretty sure that's a crush." Helen responds.

"No, I'm just annoyed." Carly says back but her words are completely unconvincing.

Helen smiles as she watches her resident squirm. "Sure, tell yourself that." She says playfully. " just because I'm old it doesn't mean I don't know about these things. Besides, it's easy to recognize the signs. You like to make her mad, but at the same time you're constantly thinking about how pretty she is. Definitely a crush." Helen says with a smile.

"Hey I never said I thought she was pretty!" Carly says throwing her hands up "I can barely stand the woman. Saying that I don't completely hate her is still a stretch" Carly laughs.

Helen watches as Carly squirms once again and smiles at the way the young resident can't just admit to the truth.

"You want to make her mad and then see her eyes sparkle. And as much as you wanna deny it deep down you think she's beautiful. Am I right or not?" Helen asks and Carly knows there is no hiding it anymore, her crush has been exposed.

"Okay maybe...I think about her, and yes she is very pretty. But I do not have a crush on her. I'm just...obsessed because she's so insufferable." she admits, blushing.

Helen does not get to reply because Amelia walks in with the morphine drip

"Is everything going okay in here?" Amelia asks, looking around the room. As she notices the two women sitting on the bed together her heart gets a bit warmer.
She sees Carly holding the old woman's hands and is surprised that Carly has a non spawn of satan side to her. It makes her happy to see Helen and Carly interact.

Helen nods enthusiastically "Oh yes Dr. Shepherd." She says. "Carly's been great, keeping me company and everything." She says, her voice filled with gratitude. She looks at the resident beside her, she reminds Helen of herself when she was younger

"Aw, I'm glad." Amelia says gently. "Dr. Connors please make sure that Helen's vitals are taken hourly and she is given her pain medications on time at the appropriate doses." Amelia gives the order without even looking at Carly.

She doesn't want her resident to think that she is impressed with her kindness to her patient. After all, she is just a resident doing her job.

"Of course Dr. Shepherd." Carly says, not even trying to hide the irritation in her voice. She knows that her boss is simply doing her job but it doesn't change the fact that she still feels annoyed at the woman's constant demeanor towards her.

Amelia turns to Helen. "Helen please let me know if you need anything else. Connors, we have to finish rounds and then you have charts to do in my office" Amelia says the words calmly but Carly knows it's another order of instructions.

She rolls her eyes once again at the woman who drives her crazy on daily basis.

"Helen it was very nice meeting you, I'll stop by for lunch tomorrow so we can finish our conversation" she says to the old woman smiling before following Dr. Shepherd out.

Helen nods at Dr. Shepherd and says "thank you Dr. Shepherd." She watches Amelia head towards the door and then turns to look at Carly. "I can tell you really like her." She whispers smiling at Carly. Carly feels her heart warming in spite of herself. She knows this old woman is perceptive and has seen right through her. "I do okay I guess, she's...she's..." she can't finish her sentence even though both of them know exactly what she is going to say.

"We can talk tomorrow at lunch I don't want you getting in trouble" Helen says to the resident

"Yes alright...tomorrow it is" Carly replies, her voice a mix of relief and annoyance. She follows Amelia towards the elevator. She now knows someone knows her secret and she isn't ready to admit it, even with the growing urge to do exactly that.

When they get in the elevator Amelia studies the younger woman's appearance.

Carly's long curly auburn hair is down, her brown eyes look fairly content compared to their usual spark. Her nose is slightly scrunched as she thinks. Carly was also pretty short, which Amelia finds amusing that such a short person can have such a big attitude.

The young woman is adorable and Amelia can't help but admit that fact.

Carly looks up at her boss, thinking thoughts about the woman. In particular she notes The older woman's bright blue eyes and beautiful hair. She's also taken note on the woman's height and how easy it would be to stand on her tippy toes and kiss her. Wait what?! Where did that come from!?!

Carly looks away from the doctor, feeling her face flush with embarrassment.

She is definitely not about to admit her thoughts to this woman. She decides instead to keep them to herself and make a mental note to work on her fantasies. Because a person does not just daydream about kissing their mean, insufferable boss. That is just unnatural.

"Come on Connors you have charting to do" Amelia says as soon as the elevator door opens, leading the resident to her office.

"Yes Dr. Shepherd." Carly responds, following her boss. As she reaches her office and sees the giant pile of folders and files waiting for her she can't help but groan a bit.

She can feel a headache coming on just thinking of how long it will take her to get through all of those charts. At least now she can spend time with her boss...not that Carly is trying to admit any type of attraction of course.

Carly sits in a chair across from her bosses desk and then begins to flip through multiple folders filled with patient information. It looks like it'll be many hours of boring work. She gets the urge to mess with Dr. Shepherd again. Maybe Carly could win this time.

Without even checking on whether Dr. Shepherd is looking, Carly changes her body language on purpose. She starts to yawn a lot, looking bored and uninterested.

She is hoping that her boss will be triggered and start to get annoyed with her. Which will then spark an argument and hopefully a fun time for Carly. After all, she has not had a decent argument with Amelia in a few hours and she is starting to feel deprived.

Amelia looks over at the young resident seated in front of her and sees the bored look on her face. She notices her yawn as well. It takes her a few moments to realize what the woman is doing but once she does, She leans back in her chair, her eyes locked on the young woman.

Carly can't help but feel a flutter in her stomach as the woman stares at her. This is exactly what Carly wanted. She is about to start some trouble.

Amelia had another plan to get on Carly's nerves. Carly wanted a reaction so Amelia was not going to give her one.

As Amelia continues to look at Carly she realizes that her plan has failed. She wasn't even getting a reaction. No scoffing, no rolling of the eyes, nothing. And Carly can't help herself but feel irritated.

She knew this woman too damn well to not know she was doing this on purpose.

She then changes her tactics by starting to act extremely focused and interested in her work.

Dr. Shepherd watches as Carly begins to frantically review all of the documents on her desk.

She notices that while Carly looks busy, she is nowhere near as focused than when the woman is bored.

She leans back in her chair and begins to scroll on her phone. It doesn't take too long for her to realize that Carly couldn't care less about the paperwork on her desk.

The more she ignores the young woman, the more the woman fidgets and sighs in frustration. She is about to break.

Carly looks over at the woman who has taken over her life. She looks so relaxed and cool as she is scrolling on her phone.

She sighs out loud yet again, doing her best to mask her frustration. After a few moments Carly decides on one last plan to get some type of reaction. She leans back in her chair and crosses her arms, looking directly into her boss' eyes. She says nothing, just staring at the woman with a slight smirk on her face.

Carly miscalculates her plan because she ends up leaning back too far and falling back with her chair.

Amelia's phone falls out of her hands and her eyes widen in surprise as she notices Carly has fallen from her chair. She immediately stands up and rushes over to her resident. "Are you okay Dr. Connors? "she asks with a slight frantic feeling in her voice. She quickly helps her resident get back on the chair, trying to see if Carly had gotten hurt in any way.

"Oh." Carly says, her voice dripping in embarrassment. "I think I'm alright, guess I pushed back too far." She tries to laugh it off but the young woman is still slightly red from embarrassment.

She watches as the woman helps her back to her feet. And suddenly she feels a strange feeling.

For a moment Carly almost felt a wave of emotion when her boss rushed over to help her, she just felt a sense of comfort and safety...no...no it's nothing. She looks at Dr. Shepherd and smiles and says "I'm fine"

Carly sits back on the chair ignoring her boss and everything that just happened. Deciding to just finish her work so she can go home and sleep.

After about an hour of work Carly is pulled out of her focos zone. "Hey Dr. Connors...can I ask you a question?" Amelia asks suddenly with a more relaxed voice. She notices that Carly is much more focused now, she seems to not even be paying any attention to her. This woman is fascinating.

"Huh? Sure why not." Carly says quickly finishing a chart. She looks over at her boss, now slightly more interested in what she has to say.

"What was your childhood like?" Amelia asks quietly, still keeping her eyes on her paperwork. She feels her heart beat a bit faster as she says those words. They are so simple and yet can give someone a glimpse into someone's entire life. She wanted badly to understand her resident. M

Carly thinks of what to reply, she did not expect this question from the boss that constantly drives her insane.

"I had a good childhood, thanks for asking." Carly says confidently, trying to figure out why this woman might have asked.

The truth was that Carly's childhood was not very happy. Her dad was an Alcoholic and her mom left. She had been the sole caretaker of her little sister who later passed. Carly missed out on many of the things that others her age go through.

But she would never admit this to her boss. She is already feeling slightly uncomfortable about being so close with Dr. Shepherd, she's not going to make it worse by showing that weakness to the woman.

Amelia looks over at Carly and notices the red tint in her face. The woman's cheeks and lips are slightly darker than they were before.

The doctor decides to play around a bit with her resident. "Oh yeah? Was it a fun time for you? You were happy all the time?" She says, sounding very sarcastic as if she knows this is the complete opposite of what the younger woman had lived through.

Carly, however, is in no mood to start playing with her boss. "Of course...why else would I say that I had a good childhood."

"Oh, right of course, I forgot you have never told a lie in your life." Amelia says very sarcastically.

Carly immediately gets annoyed at the woman in front of her. "Fine, my childhood sucked. I was responsible for taking care of my alcoholic dad and my younger sister as soon as my mom left. My sister died when I was 12 and she was 8 because I couldn't protect her from my dad." Carly bites back suddenly. "Is that what you wanted me to say Dr. Shepherd?!" She says and immediately regrets saying those words out loud. Shit.

She sees her boss looking back at her, it seemed as if she's staring at her soul. She wants to disappear immediately.

"listen, I'm gonna go now." Carly says grabbing her phone and walking out of Amelia's office.

"Carly, wait!" Amelia says suddenly, her voice sounding a bit panicked. She's never seen Carly in this state before, she's usually the one causing the irritation. This isn't right. Amelia can't help but follow the woman, she needs to fix it.

Amelia quickly reaches the girl and grabs her shoulder. "Carly, talk to me." There is a sense of slight panic in Amelia's voice.

Carly is still avoiding her boss's gaze, but finally she looks back. She doesn't know how to process what she just said to her boss. She was in shock that she just spilled the deepest secret of her life. One she swore she would leave behind her.

"I..." Carly starts but doesn't seem to know how to continue. A part of her wants to push her boss away but another part of her just wants to cry in her arms.

Carly has no idea what to do in this situation and the longer she stays quiet the more she feels the panic growing inside of her.

Amelia starts to look a bit worried, she has never seen Carly so vulnerable and her heart breaks a little seeing how the young woman was reacting to the moment. "You don't need to say anything, just listen." Amelia says in a comforting tone.

"What the hell do you want me to say?! You have never cared about me until I told you about my goddamn horrible childhood! And now you just want me to sit here and listen?! All of a sudden you don't wanna be mean. don't you dare feel bad for me. The last thing I need is your pity." Carly says angrily. She knows she is angry at herself and not Amelia. But she is just hurt and wants someone else to hurt along with her.

Amelia doesn't say anything back, she doesn't reply to the anger for a few moments instead just looking into Carly's eyes.

Suddenly she pulls Carly into a tight hug, the younger woman not even having a moment to react before she feels Amelia's arms wrapping around her.

As soon as Amelia lets go Carly speaks. "I'm need to go. It's not you. I'm not Angry at you. It's just... a lot of things." Carly says quietly before turning and walking to the elevator. She needs sleep.

Dr. Shepherd sighs in sadness as she watches the young woman walk away. She knew that she couldn't force Carly to talk to her but it still hurts seeing Carly in the vulnerable position she was in.

As she was walking away Amelia calls to the woman. "Carly...what's your address? I can drive you home."

The younger woman hears the kindness in her voice but chooses to ignore it as she continues to walk. "No no it's alright I can Drive." Carly says without looking back.

"Carly please. It's late and-"Dr. Shepherd says before being cut off. "Really it's fine. I can drive myself, I'm not a freaking toddler. So you don't have to take care of me." The young woman's tone was filled with annoyance once again.

She didn't want to be around her boss any longer, she just wanted to be alone so she could reflect on what had just happened. She begins to walk towards the elevator once again.

Amelia can feel the frustration and anger radiating from Carly. She wants to say something but decides not to. If this is what the young woman truly wants then that's what she'll give her...for now. Right now all Carly wants is time to herself. Amelia can respect that...but that doesn't mean she's still not concerned about the young woman.

As Carly disappears into the elevator Amelia can't help but feel the anxiety of the night. She takes a deep breath and goes to pack up her stuff to head home for the night.

As soon as the doors close, Carly feels a wave of relief. She doesn't need to talk to her boss anymore. She can just enjoy the silence for a few minutes. She still can't believe the things that she said to Dr. Shepherd.

Especially the things about her childhood. That was the one thing she always wanted to keep inside, she didn't want anyone else to know. It was supposed to be a secret for her and her alone but...she just couldn't hold it in.

As soon as she gats home, Carly gets ready for bed completely exhausted from her day.

The girl heads to her bedroom and drops her scrubs onto the floor. She then makes her way towards her bed, crawling in without any night time rituals. She immediately feels the exhaustion take over her body.

As her eyes close and she feels her body relax, her mind starts to wander to everything that happened today. All the arguments, the fights, the truth she had shared. It was as if her world was a whirlwind. It was time to just forget all about Dr. Shepherd and sleep.

But Carly's mind can't help but imagine what her boss's lips would feel like. It was a weird thought, her boss was always mean to her and now she wants to imagine them doing...other things?

What is wrong with her? She's never thought about a woman in that way before. But that seems to be the only thing she can think about today Carly pushes those thoughts away. She needs to forget about Amelia Shepherd now. She closes her eyes and tries to sleep.

Still, she can't seem to sleep. Carly lies in bed thinking and thinking of her boss. She keeps trying to think of anything else but that's all she can think of.

She thinks of the way Dr. Shepherd's eyes look when they look in her direction. And the soft tone she sometimes uses when talking to her.

"Stop thinking of her already!" She mumbles to herself as her face turns a bit red from embarrassment. She wants to sleep but she can't get those thoughts out of her head. It's maddening.

Hellen will know i can ask her tomorrow Carly reminds herself

As the hours pass Carly stays up in bed, thinking, thinking, thinking. She keeps telling herself to just go to sleep but her mind is so focused on her boss, she just can't stop thinking of her.

She is starting to get angry with herself, this isn't normal, it doesn't make any sense. She should be asleep, why couldn't she just stop thinking about a woman she hated but also had this weird, unexplainable attraction to? Why couldn't she go to sleep!?

Around 2:00 am Carly finally decides she's had enough. She can't stay in bed any longer. She gets out of bed and goes to her desk, she can't sleep then might as well try to work.

She takes out her computer and opens up a new chart for a patient and starts to write the basics. She knows she isn't working efficiently but at this point she doesn't care. This will at least keep her mind off of a certain person she just can't seem to forget.

Luckily about 2 charts in Carly ends up falling asleep with her computer open.

...

Carly wakes to bright sunlight in her eyes, it takes her a moment to gather her surroundings and realize where she is. She looks at the time and notices it's past 8:00 am. She also notices she is curled up on her computer desk, still in her scrubs.

She quickly sits up and stretches out her body. Her back is quite sore from her uncomfortable sleeping position. She checks her phone to find out why she hadn't woken up earlier. It appears she has 3 missed calls, 2 of them are from her boss. Carly sighs slightly, what would her boss want at this time?

Carly decides to call Dr. Shepherd back. She dials the number and waits as it rings.

Suddenly the woman answers the phone and Carly can hear the annoyance in her voice. "Carly, you missed the first patient of the day, you were supposed to be here an hour ago." Dr. Shepherd says without a greeting, her tone now sounding very much like the boss Carly knows.

"Right okay. Sorry I got distracted...and fell asleep." Carly says still groggy as she just woke up. She can hear Dr. Shepherd sigh on the other end. She is not happy to hear that the younger resident is tired today.

Her tired tone and annoyance just remind Carly of the woman's usual demeanor whenever they interact. "I'll be there in 10 mins." Carly says before hanging up the phone. She just wants to get to work and forget her crazy thoughts of the night before.

Dr. Shepherd rolls her eyes as she hangs up the phone. If this woman can't even get a good night's sleep then how is she going to last here? She thinks to herself.

She decides to give the younger resident a second chance, for whatever reason she didn't feel comfortable firing Carly today. Maybe this will be the day that the younger woman takes things seriously and actually starts doing her job correctly.

Dr. Shepherd finishes her paperwork and starts to prepare for the rest of her day, deciding to get coffee.

Carly walks into Amelia's office 15 min later, surprised that her boss is no where to be found.

As Carly walks into the office she notices something has changed. The office appears to be more relaxed than normal, as if something is missing. She can't put her finger on it but she looks around the room. Dr. Shepherd must be out getting coffee then.

Carly heads over to her desk and starts working as she waits for her boss to get back. She needs to work extra hard today if she wants to stay in good standing.

Dr. Shepherd just might get the hint and not make Carly's life at the hospital a living hell...

maybe.

Amelia walks in a few min later with two coffees "so you don't get stuck in traffic" she says while placing Carly's coffee in front of her.

Carly takes a deep breath. "Her name was Maryanne" She says looking her boss in the eye I havnt spoken her name since her funeral and I thought it was only fair to tell you after I blew up last night."

A/N: OOOOHH I THINK CARLY HAS A CRUSHHHH (I think Amelia might too...)
I have so many notes on this chapter. Like idk where to start. I love Helen's character. Also Amelia and Carly are getting closer... I have so many ideas for pt 3 and this story is already almost 9k words plus they havnt even kissed yet 🤭🤭. Should I post this as a separate book?

Hope you enjoyed

-xx abby

(WC 4891)