TW - doesn't really apply for this chapter apart from mention of drugs / panic attack.
Definitely gets more triggering in the next parts though so... just know what you're getting yourself in for lmao.

I did post this as a separate story months ago but I've revamped it and I'm debating posting it as a series of oneshots now instead of the book bc some of you noticed I took it down (I got embarrassed)

I can't remember all the characters I incorporated but I know Amelia, Meredith, and April were def in there.) - when I remember who else I'll update the title.

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Your name is y/n Grey. And no, Meredith is not your mother. Nope, neither is Elliss. And no, your father isn't Thatcher. Lexie Grey was your mother. Meredith basically raised you as her own after your mother died in the plane crash. You were only a few weeks old when it happened. Your father was Mark Sloan - but whilst technically your last name was Sloan you always went by Grey to feel closer to your aunt and her children - to feel like one of the family. Recently, you'd entered your "terrible teens" as your Aunt Amelia called them - making you 13 years old.

You were sick of school. You were sick of people. You were sick of not having parents. Everything made you angry and you felt hollow all the time.

Even when you were younger, Amelia called you a "wild child". You used to get into fights in elementary school with other students who would so much as look at you funny. If they went for the same toy as you at break time, you'd slap them across the face. Meredith had lost count of the amount of times she'd been called into your school. She thought you'd calm down with age but you were yet to prove that point.

Maybe it was the move to Boston that had recently unsettled you? Last year the family moved to Boston so Zola could fit in better at school and Meredith could try and cure Alzheimer's. You never wanted to go but... what choice did you have? Then last month your Aunt Amelia flew out to join you all after everyone back in Seattle abandoned her...

You just didn't feel like you fitted in. Recently, you'd broken Bailey's arm. You felt terrible about it. He picked up a box of things in your room - it was everything you had of your parents. There were Polaroids, a baby blanket you had when you were born, a grey t shirt that both of them had worn in different Polaroids so you weren't sure who's it actually was, your ultrasound photos, your fathers scrub cap, and a few other sentimental pieces. The moment he picked it up you prized the box out of his hands. He started hitting you in retaliation so you pushed him - he landed funny on his arm.

"What happened?" Meredith came running in.

Bailey was screaming, tears bursting from his eyes.

"Meredith I'm so sorry!!! I didn't mean to - I swear!!!" You cried.

"What happened?!!!" She repeated.

"It was my fault - I just wanted him to leave the box alone and- " you continued to sob.

"It's ok!!! It was an accident!" She reassured you.

"Please don't kick me out I'm so sorry!!" You weren't listening. You were so panicked that she'd kick you out because you weren't one of her own children.

"Y/n! Calm down - I'm not about to kick anybody out - it was an accident. I'll just take Bailey up to the hospital. Stay here and try not to worry ok?" She said calmly. She didn't seem mad at you.

She left with Bailey and Elliss. Zola was doing homework in her room. You went back to your room. You sat on your bed and started punching your leg. You were frustrated that you could've just ruined everything. You always end up hurting people. You got so wound up that you struggled to catch a breath and the room started to spin. You could not stop shaking and your mind was racing. You managed to convince yourself that Meredith was going to change her mind and kick you out. You thought you'd save her a job. You started to pack a bag. You packed as many clothes as you could fit into your bag, some deodorant, baby wipes, your savings, and a water bottle. You put your coat on then snuck out of the house.

You didn't really know where you were going but you figured that you deserved to be homeless after the stunt you just pulled.

You walked around for a bit until you reached town. You saw a boy you recognised from your class smoking something that smelt awful - weed.

"Hey y/n" he said.

You were quite popular at school because of your idgaf attitude with the teachers and the fact that you were quite pretty due to your parents good genes.

"Hi Lewis" you replied.

"Want a puff?" He asked.

You accepted and smoked some of his joint.

"Where'd you get this?" You asked.

"Cousin knows some people - I can give you a number if you want?"

"Yeah sure"

He gave you the number of his dealer. You had a hunch that he was only so willing to give it because of your popularity. Maybe he had a crush on you? Who knows?

You walked a couple blocks down and called the number.

The dealer met you at a park about a 10 minute walk away.

He gave you a few pre rolls for some of your savings.

You sat down at a bench before realising you didn't have a lighter. You saw a group of teenagers smoking nearby - they looked older than you but you pushed your chest out and walked up to them.

"Excuse me. Do you have a lighter I can borrow?" You asked.

One of them handed you their lighter and you lit one of your joints. Then you thanked them, handed back the lighter, and walked off. After finishing your first joint, you didn't think it had hit you so you used the end of last bit of it to light a fresh one. You were about halfway through that when you started to feel really dizzy. It was starting to hit you now. It occurred to you that it probably wasn't the smartest decision to have two when this was your first time smoking weed. You were probably close to pulling a whitey. Such a lightweight!

You sat on the nearest bench and took out your water bottle.

You finished the second joint and felt really sick. You hid the rest of them in one of your t shirts in your bag then you got up and headed to town. Everything felt really weird - it was hard to describe. You felt like laughing at absolutely everything.

As you were walking down the street you heard a car horn honk. It made you jump. This made you start laughing again.

The car pulled up next to you and rolled down the window.

"Y/n! Thank God! I've been looking for you for hours - Zola called when she heard the front door slam and noticed all your stuff was gone. Why are you laughing?" It was Amelia.

"Hellooooooo" you responded.

"Crap. Y/n... be honest with me. You're high aren't you?" Amelia saw by the fact your eyes were red and you were acting strangely that you were very high.

"Noooooo" then you start to walk off.

She pulls the car up closer to you.

"Where are you going?" Amelia asked.

"Dunno" then you laughed.

"Are you running away? Is that why you've got all of your stuff in that bag?" She asked.

"Well Meredith's probably gonna kick me out anyway!" You were giggling stupidly.

"Y/n get in the car. Nobody's kicking you out" Amelia said sternly.

"If she wasn't then she is when she finds out about this!" You were still laughing.

"We can discuss this in the car but I promise nobody's about to kick anybody out."

"My legs are tired. Okie doke... car it is! Yay!" You laughed to yourself and got in the car.

"Christ Y/n how much weed did you smoke?!! It's all I can smell - there's like a cloud of it following you!" Amelia coughed.

"Shit I forgot about that. I'm so sorry Amelia. I know you're an addict and if I'd known I wouldnt have got in the car - I'm sorry!! I can walk home if the smell is triggering you-" you weren't laughing this time. You felt guilty again.

"Nono y/n don't be silly. I'm not letting you walk home in this state - I'll be alright! I can wind down the windows and if I get really bad I'll go to a meeting tonight - don't panic! I was more of an opioids kinda girl anyway..." She says lightly, turning around and rubbing your knee before pulling the car off onto the road.

"What do I do? I mean Meredith's gonna kill me. I broke her sons arm then I went out and got stoned and I'm gonna make her house stink! And now you could relapse because I'm so stupid and so selfish!!" You were starting to panic.

"I'm not going to relapse y/n - I promise. We'll figure out what we're going to do in a minute - let's get some food first. I'll pull up at the drive thru do you want the usual?" She asked.

You shook your head. "Not hungry"

"Well you need to eat something if you want to feel a bit better so what am I ordering?" Amelia asked.

"Fine. Usual it is!" You rolled your eyes.

Your usual consisted of plain chicken nuggets and chips with a coke. An unbeatable classic.

She drove around and then pulled up on the car park to talk to you. The smell of food was kind of masking the smell of weed but not really. After you'd finished eating in silence she started the conversation.

"What do you want me to tell Meredith?" Amelia asked.

"I don't know. She's gonna be so mad at me Amelia! She's definitely gonna kick me out now I just know it!!" Tears fell down your face.

"Meredith isn't like that - she put up with me even when she hated me so I promise she won't kick you out."

"But I don't want her to hate me either!!" You cried.

You could feel your hands start shaking again and you felt the familiar tightness in your chest. The weed wasn't doing a very good job of relaxing you. You started to breathe shakily and hot tears ran down your face.

"Nono! She won't hate you! She could never! She loves you y/n!"

"N-not - a-a-any m-more" you managed to stutter out between gasps for air. You started to flap your arms around, desperately trying to get some air.

"Yes she does! Ok you need to calm down for me. Come on, take a deep breath with me. You're ok. Nobody's gonna kick you out - even if you were homeless, I'd be homeless with you. I love you y/n - we all do. Deep breaths..." your ears were ringing and Amelia's voice suddenly became very quiet.

This only contributed to your panic. You couldn't breathe at all and that was terrifying. The more terrified you were the more you panicked and the less you could breathe. Everything was spinning out of contol and you hadn't even noticed when Amelia had climbed over the back seat and was sat next to you. She was still talking but you couldn't even hear her at all at this point and you could barely see her behind your tears.

You were aware that you were becoming really dizzy and purple spots started to cloud your vision. Then everything went to black.

"Hey, it's ok. Welcome back. Try to relax - ok? I'm here" Amelia as still sat next to you but this time she had her arm around you and you were propped up against the car door. It was an awkward position but you were grateful she stuck by you.

"W-what?" You were a bit confused.

"You passed out. You had a panic attack - do you know what that is?" Amelia asked you, evidently concerned.

"It happens when I'm stressed sometimes - it happened earlier after I hurt Bailey - oh God I hurt Bailey! He's probably scared of me now! I bet he hates me! And Meredith! You said that we could be homeless and-" your mind was whirring again.

"Nono stop! Y/n stop! Slow down! We will not be homeless - I'm 100% sure of it. Meredith knows this was an accident and you know how forgiving she is. Bailey will get over it - kids always do! You are ok! Now, tell me about these panic attacks..." she rubbed your arm and gave you a sad, reassuring smile.

"I don't know what you want me to say?"

"Do you get them often?" Amelia asked you.

You hesitated.

"That's a yes? Oh y/n... why didn't you say something?!! We love you so much and I hate seeing you like this and I know that Meredith-"

"Amelia stop. You can't tell Meredith!! She has enough on with Zola getting them and with her new job and being a mother to her other kids - one now only has one functioning arm for the next 6 weeks! Please this has to stay between us. I'm begging you!!!" You begged.

"Y/n... she's your legal guardian and my sister I can't lie to her-"

"I'm not asking you to!! Just don't tell her!!! There's a difference! Please Amelia - I promise I'll come talk to you when I get them as long as you promise not to tell Meredith - I need to be able to trust you please!!" You pleaded, tearily.

"Ok but you have to promise to talk to me every single time" that was her only condition.

Then her phone rung.

"Amelia! Have you found her?! I just got a voicemail from Zola saying you went out to look for Y/n because she ran away?!! Why would she do that?!! Please tell me you have her!!!" It was Meredith, frantic at your disappearance.

"Yes Mer! I found her - just took her for some food. We're ok here - she just went out to clear her head because she was worried about Bailey and felt responsible - don't worry she's safe!" Amelia responded.

"She doesn't need to feel responsible - it was an accident!! Bailey admitted to messing about in her room and that she just pushed him off her and he landed funny. Anyways, I'm just leaving the hospital now and I'll see you at home! Tell y/n I love her!" She hung up.

"See! It's ok y/n! She said she loves you! Let's go home shall we?" Amelia said.

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Word count - 2533

I will post a part 2. When I post it... who knows? I'm kinda lazy. And I'm working in retail over Christmas so I might off myself.
Anyways
Love youse xx