— Amelia, Addison, Arizona, Callie, Charlotte —

I haven't done one with multiple characters yet so... let's see.

⚠️TW - ED, self harm, panic attack

—————————————————

You're the child Addison aborted because it was Mark's. (Obviously you weren't aborted) That makes Addison your mom, Amelia your aunt, Sofia your half sister, Arizona and Callie are also your aunts, and Mark your deceased father...

Your dad died. He was the best dad in the world. If there was one thing he was put on this Earth to do... it wasn't surgery, it was to be a father. But now he's dead.

That was when the problems started.

You felt empty. Everything had been ripped out from inside you. Your mom didn't understand the bond you had with him. He was the chill parent. She thought he was just lazy. But he wasn't.

You didn't know how to fix the empty feeling so you thought about it logically. If something is empty you need to fill it. How does a person get full? They eat.

You spent hours alone in your room with as many snacks as you could gather. Just binge watching TV. Your mom knew you were finding it tough so she gave you some leeway.

It got to a point where she was concerned though.

"Christ, y/n! It stinks in here. This is getting ridiculous. Talk to me." She sat on the edge of your bed.

"I don't really feel like talking" you replied.

"Ok. That's understandable. I just don't want you doing this alone. Tell you what... you go have a shower, I'll take all these dirty plates and dishes downstairs, then I'll call the school and let them know that you'll be back tomorrow. And before you try to argue with me... I'm doing this for your own good. The more you mope around here, the worse you'll feel. You need to be with your friends. Ok?" She gives you a sad smile and a pat on the shoulder.

You didn't really have much of a choice.

Your first day back was the worst. The teachers all gave you looks of pity. The school counsellor pulled you out of lesson for a 'catch up'. And that wasn't even the worst part. Your friend took one look at you and said "you look different - I think you've gained weight. It suits you though!!" And then continued to talk about everything you'd missed at school.

It was a passing comment but it stuck with you. She basically said you suited being fat? If your best friend was thinking it then surely everyone else had noticed too. You were horrified. Not that being fat was a bad thing, you just felt like it was for you. This caused your mind to jump to ridiculous conclusions like the idea that the teachers were giving you looks of pity because you got fat rather than the fact your father died.

By the end of the day, you decided you were going to control what you eat to lose the weight you'd put on.

It was easy at first. You told your mom you had a stressful day at school and that you weren't hungry. You used the same excuse visiting your aunts in Seattle. Then you switched it up and faked a stomach bug.

"Must be something about Seattle!" Your aunt Callie laughed. "Every time you visit you've got a stomach bug - it's either Seattle or Arizona's cooking!"

"Hey! I heard that!" Arizona called from the kitchen.

"Come and at least have a bite with us - you can't expect to get better if you don't eat and get nutrients to build up your immune system - I'm a doctor, listen to me!" Callie put her arm behind you and led you to the kitchen.

Spaghetti bolognaise. Damn. You loved spaghetti bolognaise. You were salivating at the thought of spaghetti bolognaise. Your stomach was grumbling for spaghetti bolognaise. Parmesan. Grated Parmesan and spaghetti bolognaise. Garlic bread. Garlic bread, Parmesan, spaghetti.

I'm fairness, Arizona did dish you up a small portion because of your previous complaints about having a 'stomach bug'. But you demolished it. It might've been the best thing you'd ever eaten. For a moment anyway. Then all you could feel was guilt? You'd been working hard and now you'd set yourself back. How could you have been so stupid?

You knew what you had to do. You quickly left the table and dashed towards the bathroom, quickly locking the door behind you.

Callie got up to follow you.

"You ok in there?" She asked from outside the door.

She could hear you heaving.

Once you'd finished making yourself throw up, you shakily opened the door.

Callie held her arms out for you and you gave her the biggest hug.

"I told you I didn't feel well" you said, tearily.

"Shh, it's ok" she kissed your head.

This type of thing happened back home in LA too. You'd forget what you were doing and help yourself to a snack. Then you'd remember and throw it back up. You needed to discipline yourself more. That's when you started to find alternative uses for your razor...

You'd been getting away with it for a good few months now. You'd eat the occasional apple to keep up your strength and you'd make sure to do it in front of your mom so she couldn't say you weren't eating. It was winter so you could wear big hoodies that hid your figure and also your arms. It was all going fine until...

You passed out at school. In the middle of your science lesson. Just dropped. You were trying to get out to go to the bathroom because you felt funny. When you woke up you were propped up on a chair outside with 2 teachers holding you up. Mortifying.

"Honey what happened?!!" Your mom came running up to you.

They must've called her already.

You hadn't had time to think of an excuse.

You just burst into tears.

"Oh sweetie come here" your mom pulled you in for a hug.

She helped you up and put her hand behind you as you walked slowly to the car.

You drove home in silence until she pulled up on your driveway and locked you both in the car.

She turned to look at you with an expression of worry on her face.

"Y/n... what happened honey?" She asked, gently.

"I-" you couldn't tell the truth. She'd make you stop. You'd get fatter again.

You didn't know what to say. Your heart was racing. It was beating so much it was hurting your chest. Really hurting. You winced and put your hand over your chest.

"You ok?" Your mom noticed.

You struggled to take a breath. You couldn't do anything, you just flapped your arms about, panicking.

"Ok, deep breaths... you're ok" she put her hands on your shoulders and took deep breaths with you.

"Can't... breathe..." you managed to say in between gasps for air.

"I know, I'm here. It's ok." She comforted you.

You just shook your head, tears streaming down your face. You didn't have the energy for this. You started to get dizzy. This only made you panic more.

"Mom..." you said, quietly.

She said something back but your ears were ringing. Purple spots started to cover your vision. You passed out again.

When you woke up, you were on the back seat with your head on your moms lap.

"Hey sweetheart" your mom said, stroking your hair.

You looked around, confused.

"You passed out again." She tells you. "Is that what happened in class? You couldn't breathe?" She asked.

She gave you your excuse. Perfect. You nodded. You didn't even have to think of a lie because she'd done it for you.

"Have you had panic attacks before? Do you know what caused it in class? Because I can talk to the school and get them to fix whatever's bothering you I can-"

"It's fine." You interrupted her. "I don't want to talk about it. Please. Can I just get ready for soccer training?" You had soccer training every Thursday and Tuesday, match days on Saturdays.

"I don't think that's the smartest decision... you're probably tired... y/n you passed out twice in the last hour!!" She said, evidently concerned.

She didn't understand that you needed to get the exercise in.

"I'll be ok. We've got a big match on Saturday - I wanted you to come and watch but you said you were busy at the practice again." You remind her. If you made her feel guilty enough she'd just let you do what you wanted.

"Amelia will watch. I told you this."

"Amelia isn't my mom." You said, bluntly. "I'm going to get ready."

About 2 hours later your mom called upstairs to you.

"Y/n!!! Dinner's ready!!!"

"I can't eat before I play - I'll get a stitch!!" You shouted down to her.

"Y/n, I can't in good conscience let you run around a field for a couple hours knowing you haven't eaten!! I'd hate for you to pass out again! I'm your mother... my job is to take care of you!! So unless you eat something, I'm not taking you to soccer training tonight. End of discussion." Your mom ordered you.

Just because she's a double board certified surgeon. Thinks she knows everything. You thought, bitterly.

You weren't about to have an argument with her so you called your aunt Amelia to come pick you up.

10 minutes later someone rung the doorbell.

You dashed downstairs and opened the door.

"Hey kiddo. You ready to go?" Amelia asked.

"Amelia? What are you doing?" Addison asked her.

"Y/n said you weren't feeling too good so she asked me to take her to soccer practice tonight."

"No. I told y/n she couldn't go because she was sent home from school today because she passed out. She then passed out again in my car and she hasn't eaten since." She said, annoyed.

"I told you I have an important game on Saturday. You'd know if you actually took an interest in me." You said, coldly.

You didn't know what had come over you lately. You'd been in a terrible mood with everyone.

"Fine. Just go. Get out of my sight. I don't know why I bother." Your mom replied.

You shrugged and walked out to Amelia's car.

"Addie if I'd known she was lying... you know I wouldn't go behind your back on purpose..." Amelia tried to apologise.

"Amelia it's fine. Just look out for her please. Somethings up. She's never spoken to me like that before..."

"Terrible teens." Amelia smirked.

"No... this is more than that. I'm worried about her." Addison confessed.

"Ok... I'll look out for her..."

You started to honk the horn of Amelia's car. They were taking so long and you were gonna be late.

"I see what you mean... that girl has an attitude. I'll figure it out don't worry." Amelia said to Addison after hearing you honking her car horn repeatedly.

"Impatient aren't we?" Amelia joked with you as she got in the car.

"You're making us late." You said, bluntly.

"Cut the attitude. You're lucky I'm taking you." She reminds you.

The drive there was in silence.

When you got there you practically bolted out the car and joined in with the rest of the team in warm up.

It wasn't long before you were doing training drills. Your job was to tackle the ball from a player. You were feeling a little light headed but that just meant that the exercise was working. You got the ball with ease and as you turned around the girl you tackled ran into you, knocking you to the floor.

You saw red.

"What the fuck?!!" You shouted as you got up.

"I'm sorry - I swear it was an accident." She apologised.

You pushed her back.

"Y/N! CAR! NOW!!" Amelia shouted from the car park.

She must've been watching.

"Care to tell me what that was about?" She asked as you got in the car.

"She pushed me first."

"Y/n. I saw what happened. It was an accident. You didn't need to react like that."

"I guess I'm just competitive." You replied.

"I think you cut your arm when you fell, there's blood coming through your sleeve - here let me-"

You quickly pulled your arm away from her. You must've knocked off one of the scabs when you fell. You couldn't risk her seeing your arms.

"I'm not a child." You said.

"I know. But you're hurt. I just wanted to clean it up... I love you y/n so excuse me for wanting to look after you."

She took you home. You went straight upstairs.

"Somethings definitely wrong." Amelia said to Addison in a hushed voice.

"Why what happened??!" Addison asked.

"Someone ran into her - on accident. Y/n saw red. She got up, swore at her, pushed the girl back. She was looking for a fight Addie... when I asked her about it, she shut me out. She wouldn't even let me give her a wipe for her arm - she grazed it when she fell and it was bleeding. I think you're right to be worried." She said.

"Stay for dinner?" Addison invited Amelia to have dinner with you both, considering you didn't eat earlier.

"Sure." She smiled.

"Y/n! Come eat something please!!" Your mom shouted up to you.

"So you can lecture me about what happened at soccer practice?! No thanks." You replied, sarcastically.

Her and Amelia exchanged a look.

"Get down here now y/n!!" Your mom shouted.

You finished up in the bathroom, cleaning up your cut and also the fresh ones you'd just made. You deserved it. You made them suspect somethings up. Now they're gonna be watching you.

You changed into your hoodie and sweatpants then went downstairs.

"Eat." Addison plated up the food and put a plate in front of you.

"I've just done exercise - my stomach is unsettled so I'm not hungry." You pushed the plate away from you.

Addison just sighed.

"Your arm is still bleeding?" Amelia asked, worried that it had been bleeding so much for so long. She could see blood trickling down your hand.

"No. That's blood from earlier." You lied.

"It hasn't dried yet?"

"Obviously not." You responded.

"Right, y/n - I'm sick of this attitude!" Your mom shouted.

"Addie wait..." Amelia tried to say something. She knew something was up with you and the last thing you needed was a lecture.

"No Amelia she needs to be told. She can't treat people like this!!" Your mom carried on.

"She is sat right here." You rolled your eyes.

"Just get out of my sight. You can stay with your aunts in Seattle for a few days." Addison says.

"Fine." You stood up. You suddenly felt really dizzy. You clutched onto the table for support.

"You ok?" Amelia asked you.

You ignored her and shakily let go of the table. You went to walk off but you took a few steps and had to lean on the kitchen counter.

"Ok. Ok. Take it easy, yeah?" Amelia got up to help you. She tried to put her arm around you but you shook her off.

She took a step back and you continued to walk towards the stairs. Your ears started to ring again and you got so dizzy you couldn't see anything. The purple spots had completely covered your vision. You collapsed. And you hit your head on the hardwood floor.

"Crap! Addie!" Amelia called out to your mom, who was sulking in the dining room still.

Addison ran in. "Oh God y/n!!"

"Help me get her to the car." Amelia said.

"Right yes the car. I'll drive us to-"

"No Addie I'll drive... you're in shock. You sit in the back with y/n." Amelia instructed.

Addison picked you up and walked out to the car.

"Wait. Amelia. She's really light." Addison said.

"You sure? People say you get superhuman strength as a mother when your child is in danger - maybe it's that?" Amelia asked, hoping she was right.

"Maybe" Addison mumbled.

She lay you down on the back seat and put your head on her lap, stroking your hair. Amelia drove you to the hospital.

"I called to let St Ambrose know we're on our way." Amelia said.

Addison just nodded.

"I told her to get out of my sight Amelia. That's the last thing I said to her." Addison said, tearily.

"Addie she's not dying." Amelia tried to reassure her.

Addison just ignored her and continued to stroke your hair.

"I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry." She cried over you.

When you got there they took you into a patient room and the nurses started to get you changed into a gown.

Addison and Amelia were waiting outside the room. Charlotte King, chief of staff, heard you were being brought in and came down to check in. She walked in as they were getting you changed and gasped. She sent the nurses away so she could examine you herself.

You were so skinny. Freakishly skinny. She could see all your veins because your skin was basically transparent. Your bones were sticking out at all angles. If she didn't know better, she would've thought you'd been dead for at least a week. Her eyes moved across your body and rested on your arms.

"Damn it" she mumbled under her breath. "Damn it y/n! Why'd you do this to yourself?" She said, sadly.

She took her time, disinfecting your arms, bandaging them up, dressing you in a hospital gown, getting you extra blankets.

She drew a breath before leaving the room to talk to your mom and aunt.

"How is she? Is she awake yet?!" Amelia asked.

"Can we see her?!" Addison asked.

"She hasn't woken up yet. But... there is something I need to discuss with you both..." she started.

"You know what's wrong with her?!" Addison asked.

"Addie... I think we already know..." Amelia said.

"Yes. Y/n appears to have an eating disorder. In addition to some pretty deep intention wounds down her arms. I just wanted to fill you in with what we know so you have a chance to prepare yourselves. Addison... the poor girl looks... she looks like a corpse." Charlotte put it bluntly.

"How could I let this happen?" Addison sobbed.

"You weren't to know. People with mental illnesses are excellent at covering them up. You're speaking to two addicts here... at the peak of my addiction I would've gone to extreme lengths to make sure nobody found out - I'm sure it was a similar thing for Amelia." Charlotte said.

Amelia nodded.

"But I'm her mother! How could I not notice this?!" Addison kept blaming herself.

"Because she didn't let ya. But she's in the best place now. She's gonna get better, alright?" She rubbed Addisons shoulder and led them both to your room.

Addison put her hand to her mouth when she saw you and burst into fresh tears.

"I'm sorry I can't do this." She cried and rushed back out if your room.

"I'll talk to her." Charlotte said to Amelia.

"I love you y/n. So much. I'm sorry we let this happen." Amelia traced her finger down your bandages.

Your eyelids started to flutter.

"Hey kiddo. It's ok, you're at the hospital. Do you remember what happened?" Amelia quickly wiped her tears and grabbed your hand.

"Where's mom?" You asked, scared.

"I'm here baby!" Addison walked in at that exact moment.

"I'm sorry." You cried.

"You have nothing to apologise for." Your mom said.

"I do. I was horrible to you. And now I'm putting you through all this. You don't deserve this. I'm sorry" you said, tearily.

"We love you y/n. That is never going to change." Your mom said.

"Please don't make me eat. I don't want to get fat again." You sobbed.

"Y/n..." Amelia said, worriedly. Addison just covered her mouth as tears streamed down her face.

"Just try to get some rest ok?" Amelia changed the subject.

"I can't my head hurts so bad..." you said.

"Follow my finger." Amelia started doing a neuro work up on you.

"Amelia I feel funny..." you said, quietly.

"How do you mean?" She asked.

"I just-" you started seizing.

"Crap! Someone page Charlotte!!" Amelia shouted to the nurses at reception.

They took you to CT. You had a small bleed on your brain from where you hit your head. The on call neurosurgeon fixed you up with ease. You would have a small scar behind your ear but that was it.

After your surgery Addison went to speak to Charlotte.

"Can you give her an ng tube?" She asked.

"Is that what she wants?" Charlotte asked.

"No. Before she started seizing, she begged us to let her starve so she wouldn't get fat..." Addison paused and wiped her tears. "Her mentality is the same. I'm her parent and I'm giving consent. Do it. Give her the tube." Addison said. It hurt her to do this against your will but it would hurt her more if you died. She was doing this for your own good.

"Alright." Charlotte gave the order.

You started to come around.

"Amelia?" You asked.

"Oh hey kiddo. How are you feeling?"

"My head still hurts." You moved your hand up to touch your head. You felt something on your face. It was the tube.

"What's this?" You asked.

"Y/n... it's for your own good ok? We're doing this because we care about you..." Amelia said.

"A feeding tube?" You asked, your eyes brimming with tears.

"I'm sorry honey" your mom said, walking in the room.

"No." You started pulling at the tube.

"Y/n! Y/n stop!" Amelia tries to stop you.

You got it out.

"No tube." You said.

You sent Amelia and Addison home to get some rest but you didn't sleep that night because you thought if you went to sleep they'd give you another tube in your sleep.

"What are you doing up at this time?" Charlotte came in your room and gave you a little smile. It was about 1am.

"You here to put the tube in me?" You asked, a little scared.

"Nope. I'm checking in. Look, y/n, let me be frank with you. If you don't have this tube... we're gonna have to 5150 you. Nobody wants that. I promise ya - you don't want that." She tells you.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you get the tube anyway but we do it against your will and we lock you up in psych."

"I don't want to be fat please why are you doing this to me?" You started to get upset.

"We're not doing this to spite ya darlin', we're doing this because we want ya alive." She wipes your tears with the back of her hand.

"I don't want to be alive if it means I get fat." You tell her.

"Oh honey...don't talk nonsense like that..." she didn't know what to say to you.

The next day you were still refusing the tube. They bought in a therapist to talk to you but you were reluctant to talk to her.

"It must've been scary waking up in hospital?" She asked.

You nodded.

"Would it be the worst thing to have an ng tube?"

You nodded.

"You'd just pull it out again?"

You nodded.

"Do you think that you're fat?"

You didn't say anything.

"Y/n. It's important we communicate with words so I can help you."

"I don't need help." You insisted.

"Then you wouldn't be in hospital. Deep down you know that what you're doing isn't healthy." She says.

"I can't stop now. I'll just get fat again." You say.

"A healthy weight doesn't mean you get fat."

"When people say you look healthy they mean that you look fat." You say.

"There are other ways for you to gain weight without getting fat..."

"Are you stupid?! Gaining weight??! Obviously that's how you get fat!!! You don't have a brain!! YOU'RE STUPID!!! GET OUT!!! I'M NOT GAINING WEIGHT!!! IF YOU FORCE ME TO HAVE ANOTHER GODDAM TUBE I'LL TIE IT ROUND MY THROAT AND DIE!!! I'D RATHER DIE THAN GET FAT!!! DO YOU THINK IM DOING THIS FOR THE FUN OF IT?!! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!!!" You screamed at her.

Charlotte ran in after hearing the noise.

"GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!!!" you screamed.

The therapist gave Charlotte a nod and she sighed sadly and called in some nurses.

"Y/n... remember what we talked about? Well it's happenin'. I'm sorry darlin' but we gotta 5150 you." She told you what was happening.

Your mom and Amelia just stood outside the room watching and crying.

You continued to scream until they sedated you....

Except the person giving you lorazepam was dyslexic and gave you the wrong drug and you died.

Rip 🪦

You died a skinny legend x

—————————————————————————
I couldn't be bothered to finish it so you died soz

Thought I'd write one with multi characters.

I let the thoughts win this time and gave it a dumb ending (U GUYS REQUESTED I DO THAT SO I DELIVERED)

Word count - 4226