"Okay, but what about this?"

I turned to Delilah, who sat on my bed with a rejected pile of clothes in her lap. She studied me in my black torn up jeans and white tank top, like an art critic would study a painting. She squinted at me and pulled at my shirt.

"You look like a confused goth," she finally said.

I groaned and practically ripped the tank top and jeans off of me. "This is ridiculous. Why can't I just wear leggings and a t-shirt?"

"Because this is a date!" She whacked me in the head with my discarded tank top. "You can't look like you would on any normal day. This is the date. The date you've been waiting for your entire young adult life."

"Okay, Elle Woods," I groaned and rolled my eyes. "He's not proposing for crying out loud."

"Uh, neither did Warner, but with Grey...well, you never know with him," she gave me a shrug. "You guys have been in love for like, a decade. Secretly in love, but still. Do you even know where you're going?"

"No," I groaned. "He said it's a surprise. I hate surprises."

Delilah squealed in delight. "This is going to be so great. I'm kind of jealous, but it's okay, I'm sure I'll get all the raunchy details tomorrow."

I sighed and shook my head. "You know what? Fuck this."

I grabbed the leggings that had been discarded on my bed and the first gray t-shirt I could find, throwing them on before grabbing my faded jean jacket and tossing it over my shoulder.

"All this time, Grey has liked me for me, so why should I act or dress like anything other than that?" I gave Delilah a sideways smirk. "Besides, there's no 5-star restaurant within a 50 mile radius of here, so I don't think I'll be violating any dress codes."

I gave her one more smirk before sauntering out. For once, I was ready to take on the night in my own skin.

As we drove through the mountains on empty roads, the sun still high above our heads, I realized how much I took for granted living where I lived. Everything was beautiful, and not in the over-processed, fabricated way that Southern California was. It was untouched, raw beauty. It was clean air, open space, and endless horizons. It was something I should have appreciated a long time ago, and something I should never have let go of.

When we reached Anchorage, my skepticism grew. "Okay seriously Grey, what are we doing in the city?"

Grey grinned at me and kept driving. "You have no idea what this weekend is, do you?"

I frowned and shook my head. "I'm tired of guessing games, just tell me."

Grey continued to smirk at me as we turned into a gravel parking lot, and when I caught a glimpse of a ferris wheel in the distance, my eyes lit up.

"The summer fair..." I said softly with a faint smile. "How could I forget?"

"Beats me," Grey shrugged. "You used to go on and on about getting funnel cake weeks before the fair even started."

"I did say I wanted food without going to The Net," I added, grinning wider. "Color me surprised, Grey. You're not doing too bad."

"I have my moments." Grey returned my coy smile.

The moment Grey put his car in park, I jumped out of the passenger seat and bolted to the ticket booth. I felt like a kid again, bathed in colorful lights and the smell of popcorn. Gravel crunched underneath me as I strode ahead of Grey, picking out the best route to hit all of the good food stands.

"So the cotton candy is over there," I pointed past the ferris wheel. "One of the funnel cake stands is right here, but the good one that also has fried Oreos is all the way past the Zipper ride, but then popcorn-"

Grey put his hands on my shoulders and gave me a sweet, knee-weakening grin - the kind that used to make my stomach do cartwheels. Judging by the weird fluttering in my stomach, that still hadn't changed. I was slowly realizing how much truly hadn't changed, even though when I first came back to Alaska, that's all wanted. Maybe change was just overrated.

"While you do that, I'm going to play the ring toss game," Grey said.

"And get ripped off?" I scoffed. "That game is rigged. Don't waste your money."

"I happen to be a ring toss expert," Grey said pointedly. "I'll meet you back here."

I huffed as Grey sauntered off, silently admiring the way his dark jeans fit him so perfectly.

After paying for funnel cake and getting covered in powdered sugar, I was surprised to see Grey come back with a fuzzy sea lion tucked under his arm.

"Rigged, huh?" He said with a grin, handing me the sea lion. "Did you ever get to see those California sea lions you used to go on about?"

"You're just full of surprises today, aren't you?" I squeezed the sea lion tightly to my chest. "And no, I never did. I was too busy studying and being anti social to take the trip to the San Diego Aquarium."

Grey gave me a half smile. "Well, I've got one more surprise up my sleeve."

I groaned and squeezed the sea lion tighter. "No more surprises Grey." I reached out and grabbed his hand. "This has been more than enough. This has been...really good, actually."

Grey's smile widened. "It's about to be great."

He led me by the hand through the crowd of people, letting me stop at a cotton candy stand before taking me behind a row of white-tented games and past the small metal gate of the fair. We hiked up a mossy dirt hill, ducking under branches and nearly tripping over rocks until we came to a small clearing. We were high enough up to overlook the entire fair and catch the 10 PM sunset over the mountain range far in the distance. Dusk started coming in, giving a chill to the air and turning the sky into a canvas of milky orange.

I was so fixated on the view that I didn't notice the thick, tribal printed blanket that was laid out in the grass, with a cooler sitting in its corner. I couldn't help but smile.

"When did you manage to do all of this?" I asked as I sat down.

"When you're your own boss, you can take some liberties with your time," Grey said with a shrug. "But to be fair, I've had this date idea for...like, five years."

We shared a moment of silence. A moment of silence for our past and our mistakes. A moment of silence for Leah. A moment of silence for whatever was ahead on the horizon.

"All this time?" I asked.

Grey let out a heavy breath and nodded. "The second day of 7th grade, some of the 8th graders stole my lunch. Even though we had only met once when my mom and I had come to pick Leah up from cheer practice, you sat with me and gave me half of your sandwich. I didn't know what I was feeling meant, but I just knew I wanted to be around you all the time. Guess I got lucky you ended up being best friends with my sister."

Without a word, I reached out and squeezed Grey's hand. There were very few things I remembered about middle school, but I remembered always sitting with Grey at lunch, just the two of us. It was the best part about 7th grade.

"Grey," I breathed out. "I..."

"I love you." He cut me off, his words filled with veneration. "Past tense, present tense, and future tense." He kissed my cheek, and it made sparks go off in my chest.

I thought back to my conversation with Leah all those years ago, so sure of who I did and didn't love, but in reality, at 17 I didn't really know what love was. Sneaking around with Grey while trying to maintain some kind of relationship with somebody else and keeping secrets from everyone wasn't love. But seeing Grey for what he truly was - kindhearted, intelligent, and steadfastly loyal, I think I finally knew. I knew I loved him. I loved his stormy eyes, and I love his shoulders and the way they strained against his t-shirts, and I loved the way his lips grazed my cheek and set fire to my insides.

"I love you too." The words came fluttering out of my mouth, like a caged bird that had been begging to be set free.

I didn't know then, but I did now, and I would hold onto it for as long as I could. Maybe even forever.