"It's a funny thing coming home. Nothing changes. Everything looks the same, feels the same, even smells the same. You realized what's changed is you."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

gray mat·ter /ˈɡrā ˈˌmadər/ noun

the darker tissue of the brain and spinal cord, consisting mainly of nerve cell bodies and branching dendrites. Also an informal derivative of intelligence, intellect, cleverness, and wit.

Kennedy McAlister knew she had to go home eventually. After graduating from UCLA, and unable to find a job in California, she's forced to return to her small Alaska hometown of Finnick Island to help her mother run the coffee shop they own.

Kennedy's mother always said there was something about the air there. Something cleansing, something that rejuvenates parts of the soul that you forget you have. The problem is Kennedy doesn't need to be cleansed, and the only thing she wants is to forget. But with handsome, mysterious Grey Fischer still hanging around town, a living embodiment of all Kennedy's guilt and grief that she left behind on Finnick Island, the Alaska air is nothing more than suffocating.

This book will have mature themes such as strong language, some (but not explicit) sexual content, as well as mentions of mental illnesses and drug use.

This is not a "happy" story, and the subject matter is pretty bleak. The protagonist is not always likable, and it is what it is. People aren't perfect.

This story is about imperfection. About how we all can do or say the wrong thing, and make mistakes, but that doesn't make us any less deserving of love. This story is about the past, how it can haunt us, and how we can learn from it.

This short story was first published in 2019, and I'm obviously a much different writer now. However, I'm making the decision to repost it since I'm not currently updating or sharing anything at the moment, and a lot of y'all have been asking me for more stuff to read. So here it is! 

As some of you who have been with me for a while know, I had taken this story down years ago because of the amount of negativity I was receiving on it. So, I'm only going to say this once - please keep your "criticism" to yourself. I know what needs work, and I don't need people constantly leaving negative comments to remind me of that. This is clearly and obviously a first draft, and I don't have the time nor am I interested in editing it or making it a full-length novel. I brought this story back for the people who have enjoyed it, not because I think it's such a great story and deserves to be seen. If you don't like it or it's not the kind of story for you, just don't read it, tysm :)

Also this is a novella, meaning it's a short story on purpose!

- Started January 8, 2019 | Completed August 5, 2019 // reposted Jan 2025

Final word count: approx 25,000

Copyright 2019-2025 (moonraess) | All Rights Reserved

Don't steal my shit. I'll know.

This is a work of fiction. Any and all characters, locations, and situations are a creation of my own. Any resemblance to real people or places is purely coincidental.

Leave your FTR (first time reader) in the comments below if this is your first time here! Let me know where you're from, what you're doing right now, etc! xoxo