Grey's surgery was scheduled a month later. The biting fall air had swooped in hard and fast, but even the chill couldn't calm the fire that ripped through my nerves. I paced the white tile floors of the hospital waiting room, feeling helpless and suffocated.

As the clock ticked like a time bomb above me, I realized how desperately I needed fresh air. I went out to my car and drove around, my head on autopilot until I found myself at the one place I swore I would never go.

Most of the gravestones were faded, the names barely legible under layers of dirt and erosion. I didn't know where she was buried, but all I needed to look for was the only grave with purple orchids that swayed gracefully in the chilly breeze.

I zipped my coat up to my neck as I sat down in front of her grave, running my fingers over the engraving.

Leah Ariana Fischer

July 10 1996 - May 30 2013

"May I go where the wind carries me."

I sniffled back tears, smiling down at the flowers that I knew Grey tended to. I clenched my hands together in my lap, taking a deep breath and letting my nerves unravel.

"Hi," I breathed out. I should have felt weird talking to nothing in the middle of a graveyard, but somehow...I knew she was listening. Leaves started tumbling off the branches overhead, landing in my lap and on top of her grave.

"I miss you a lot," I said. "More than I can even put into words. I'm so sorry for not coming to see you sooner. I'm sorry about so many things, but I figured I might as well start at the beginning. We've got a lot to talk about."

END