Bright lights disturb my peaceful slumber, the most peaceful sleep I've had in years. I feel like I have a weighted blanket on top of me, and it couldn't be any better. Crying. Trauma — James. Lachlan. My eyes pry open as the memories of the night before come slamming back into my skull. What I thought was a weighted blanket is instead Lachlan Richards, his legs intertwined with mine... his strong arms folded around my torso. He's holding me so tightly, I can't move... like he's holding me in place — making sure I can't move. My heart begins racing and thoughts race through my head. No — that's not what he's doing. We fell asleep while he was comforting me, that's what it is. Plus, Lachlan despises me... he felt bad for pulling that prank on me and I ended up going "missing". Now he's in this whole ordeal... and I trauma dumped all over him last night. He probably thinks I'm a fucking weirdo... and I wouldn't even blame him if he did. I can explain it especially after everything he's done to me, but I trust him. Weirdly enough I trust him more than I've ever trusted anyone else. Maybe it's because he's not close to me... maybe it's because I needed him to believe me and not ask anymore questions on what happened that night. No one can know.
The only part of my body that isn't being held down is my head, so I move it around slowly trying not to wake him. The soft sunlight coming through the sheer curtains is almost muted, but coming in at just the right angle to glide through is blonde wavy hair. His face is emotionless, which is a weird sight to see. He doesn't have the crinkles on his forehead that are normally there everytime I'm around. Or the little furrowed brow that always makes an appearance when he's thinking. He almost looks like — a little boy. Someone who hasn't been fucked by this fucked up world. When he's laying asleep like this, so purely I can almost forget what he's done to me. Can almost forget everything he's put me through — everything he did to purposely hurt me. I move my head a few inches closer slowly making sure he's still asleep, this might be the closest I'll ever get to him. There are a small amount of freckles dotted over his nose and a few that sprinkle out onto his poreless cheeks. I weasel one arm out of his grip with success, and within seconds... I'm tracing his lips with a ghost of a touch. He takes a sharp breath in, making me drop my hand immediately and acting like I'm asleep. After a few minutes his arms tense before almost shaking himself off me. I didn't realize how much I liked being held until his arms were gone. Now it's time for me to do an awardwinning wake up. I grunt quietly and stretch my limbs just now noticing how badly they hurt from being in the same position for hours.
"Hey." I say when my eyes reach his. They're soft and longing for a few seconds before he blinks his eyes and shakes his waves from side to side. "Sorry, I — I didn't mean to grab onto you like that. Must have been a reflex." His voice is laced with sleep, and my insides melt a little at the sound of it. I sit up facing away from him and take a few breaths before responding. "Yeah, it's fine. I didn't even notice. However my limbs did." I say while stretching my short arms over my head. "There's extra toothbrushes under the sink, and I think I have some scentless cleanser in there too if you want to use them." He says with a shrug while pulling a black tshirt over his head and walking out of the room toward the kitchen. I sit there stunned for a few minutes before getting up and doing exactly what he said. I shut and lock the door behind me, and everything is exactly where he said it was. I still have a few traces of makeup on my face that I must not have gotten off last night. As I wash my face and brush my teeth — not only once but twice I think of how different he's acting from last night to this morning when he woke up. Last night he held me while whispering words of affirmation into my ear and cuddled me all night... then when he wakes up he's cold. Acting like none of it happened, well if that's how he wants to play it. Then I can play it even better.
I slip my dress from last night back on and braid my hair in one long braid down my back, surprised by how well I look. My eyes are a little swollen and my lips chapped but that's a given for how bad of a day I had yesterday. Nothing a little chapstick and morning eyecream can't fix, which luckily I keep in my purse at all times. You never know when you're going to need them. I turn my phone back on and I'm surprised at the lack of messages I have. I didn't expect them to back off after my texts last night, that's why I turned it off. I check my email, and my heart falls into my empty stomach. I have an email from Mr. Fitzgerald... stating that he has a meeting set up at one o' clock with; me, Lachlan, and Mr. Andrews. Everything from yesterday comes tearing back into me again, my vision goes blurry and I drop down on the bed behind me. My fingers find the band on my left wrist and begin popping over and over until my vision comes back into focus. I take one final deep breath and walk out of the bedroom door, realizing that my first sleepover with a boy — was with Lachlan. "Hey, I just got an email fr—" He begins while looking down at the countertop where his phone is. "I know, I already read it. I'm ready to go." I keep my head high, looking at him even though he isn't looking at me. His head pops up and he looks around stuttering on his words before landing on 'okay'.
The entire drive to my house we're both silent, he put some soft podcast on as background sound but that's it. I didn't realize how far from town we were, but I'm glad he got me away just like I asked. Within forty minutes we pull onto my road but instead of continuing down the road he pulls off and shuts the engine off. Confused I think he's making me walk, not wanting my parents to see his car so I go to open the door. "Wait" he rushes out. I linger my fingers over the door handle but look back at him, urging him to continue. "Are we not going to —" He looks around looking uncomfortable. "To talk about last night?" He finishes eyes on me. I clear my throat, sitting back in the seat. "Okay, what is it you would like to discuss about it? The fact that you ruined everything for me? Hm?" I pause but I'm not finished. "Or maybe how you walked in on my lifelong friend holding me down even though I was trying to say no. When I was frozen with fear after I had just told him what happened to me all those years ago? No, not that?" I pause again catching my breath. His head shifts and his chin is touching his chest when I say the worst of all three. "Okay then it has to be about me trauma dumping on you — even though I've never told anyone the entire story. No where even close to what I told you." I blow out a breath and add on something else when he doesn't respond. "Oh, I get it. Is this where you tell me that you holding me last night while I cried was nothing, and not to think too much into it? Don't worry, it's forgotten. I didn't think anything of it last night, or today." I finish before getting out of his car and slamming the door shut. "Wait!" His voice rings out but sounds muffled. I continue walking down the side walk when I hear a door open and close. "Liv wait!" That does it, that gets me to stop... just like he knew it would. He grabs my forearm from behind me and twists me around until I'm completely facing him. "I'm not used to this." He pauses flinging his arms out to his sides. "I never have people tell me anything real about themselves okay. I– I" he stutters a few times before gathering his thoughts. "I didn't know how to react. Last night it was just what seemed right. This morning I didn't know how you would feel about it — or how I even felt about it and I didn't want to make you feel weird. I didn't want to be the one to cause you any feelings like that. Ever." Neither of us say anything for a few moments, so I gather words for myself. "Okay. I get that, I didn't expect anything from you last night or today. It's just, I've never really... you know." I pause not wanting to say the words. He nods his head, indicating that he does in fact understand what I'm saying. "What happened to him? The boy — the junior." He asks quietly. I blow out a shaky breath closing my eyes so I don't have to look at him when I say this. "I never told anyone... he went on to his prestigious college. No consequences for his actions." I open my eyes and shrug my shoulders feeling a tear slip down my cheek. His jaw is tight and his eyes are trained on the concrete our feet are standing on. "What's his name? Just tell me his name — or where he goes to school. I can get him kicked out; I wouldn't even have to have a reason." The words fall out of his mouth and I laugh. He's completely serious, no trace of laughter or playfulness on his face. "I don't need you to save me. It already happened and I'm over it. I don't need your daddy's money to save me — most importantly I don't need you to save me." I turn away from him and walk a few more steps finally making it to the sidewalk infront of my house. I feel his fingers close around my wrist and he pulls me back toward him turning at the last second so I stumble into him. Our bodies are pressed against eachother and we're both breathing heavily. My eyes are in line with his chest, afraid to lift my head and connect our eyes. His fingers brush against the bottom of my chin, the ghost of a touch. Until they make contact and he pulls my chin until my eyes meet his. His crystal blue eyes are almost wild on the verge of losing it. There's an emotion that crosses his face that I can't decipher before his lips gently crash into mine. They're soft and strong at the same time. Gentle yet wanting... taking what they want. After a few seconds of shock I kiss him back with the same eagerness and wanting. His fingers are brushing the skin of my arms leaving goosebumps wherever he touches.
"Livvy!" Auggie's voice comes crashing through my ears and I rip myself away from Lachlan. We're both breathless, looking at eachother with a new emotion I don't think I've ever felt before. "I'll see you at the meeting." His cold voice speaks through the quietness. I nod my head once before turning around and jogging up to Auggie. "Hey buddy, how did you sleep?" I ask while shaking my hand through his wild curls. Looking back just once, to see Lachlan pull away while on his phone.
"Oh my goodness Olivia!" Mom's voice rings through the otherwise silent air. She comes rushing up to me and collides into me wrapping her noodle arms around me in a tight embrace. Dad rushes in through the kitchen door holding a cup, a cup I know is full of my moms favorite herbal tea. His aged eyes are wide with a hint of relief but also pain. I hate that I caused this, something else I've fucked up for them. Before I know it Lilac, Jessie, Auggie, and dad are all piled in around us. "Okay guys, dad and I have to talk to Liv okay?" Moms voice comes out stern, the voice she uses that means business. My siblings all scramble away, all going in different directions, I'm sure to eavesdrop somewhere close. "Okay, before you guys can say anything... I'm fine. There were a few boys who thought it would be funny, it was just — it was just a prank." I shrug my shoulders trying to play it off by adding a smile. "A prank! Olivia, your shirt was ripped open and you looked terrified! When did that even happen? Was it the same type of situation as before? Did someone hurt you again?" Mom rushes out not leaving me anytime to answer. "Calm down Mere, let her speak." Dad says. "Really mom, it wasn't that big of a deal. It was a cheap shirt. I was at a party and dancing and my shirt got ripped, there was tons of people around and they thought it would be funny to take pictures. It wasn't the same thing as before I promise. Just rich kids being dicks." I finish with a grin. But she's not looking at me, she's looking at my dad. "Should we pull her out? Homeschool her? Try to find a new school?" She huffs out a shaky breath shoving her hands on her hips. I can tell this really shook her, she's right to be worried. But pull me out? It's my senior year! I open my mouth to argue but dad beats me to it. "Mere, it's her senior year. She only has a couple months left plus I'm sure some of those rich dickheads will be going to college with her and will only make it harder for her there." He briefly pauses, his voice strong and steady. " If Livvy says that it's not what it seems— than I trust her." His eyes find mine but I have to look away. Unable to look at him when he's putting so much trust in me when I'm lying to him. Mom blows out a defeated breath before nodding. "You're right. They are some rich dicks, I wish one of them would actually recieve consequences for their actions though." She rolls her eyes dramatically. "Actually I have a meeting in about an hour with the principle and the kid responsible, so we might actually get our wish." Mom and dad both laugh along with me, leaving the space way less dense than what it was a few minutes ago.

***

"Hello, Miss Stratton. Please sit." Mr. Fitzgerald's voice booms through the room, asserting his dominance immediately. Everyone else is already here, I forgot I left my car at the library. I had to call my dad and have him turn around and bring me, leaving me ten minutes late. Which is something I never am, I can't even imagine what's going through these men's mind. I'm sure nothing good, when already to them I'm in the wrong. "I'm so sorry I'm late. I had some car—" I say as I sit in an oversized chair next to Lachlan. Mr. Fitzgerald raises his hand palm up stopping my words in my throat. His face is set in a scowl, not leaving me feeling like any of this is going to go my way. I decided to stay quiet unless I'm asked a direct question, just like he wants from me. Mr. Andrews is standing behind Mr. Fitzgeralds chair leaning against the ginormous window sill. "I honestly don't have words for the amount of embarrassment I experienced last night. I'm sure Miss Stratton can say the same." I lower my head the slightlest bit before remembering that's what they want from me. To them, I'm this little girl who hasn't made herself known at this school in almost three years. Someone who would embarrass easy and stay so far in her shell you can't even see her. I stick my chin back out, leaving a confident expression on my face. "Now, I would love to get to the bottom of this monstrosity of an event. Now, Mr. Richards; I've spoken with the company" He uses air quotations around the word company. "Who dropped off the paintings." Lachlan's cocky grin slides right off his face, I'm sure he thought he couldn't have any evidence supporting his theories about Lachlan being involved. "When questioned they wouldn't speak." He pauses and Lachlan's smirk makes an appearance again. "At first. Once I spoke of jailtime... they sang like kanaries." Mr. Fitzgerald finishes with a wide smile. Lachlan's face falls. "Jailtime?" He questions, his eyes darting to me and back before snapping back forward. Mr. Fitzgerald sighs, "Don't worry... Daddy dearest got you out of that." He shrugs. But Lachlan's face stays the same, his jaw tensing even more than it was before. I can tell from past experiences along with this one that him and his father have a stained relationship. "Instead you will be doing community service. Berkeley University has an art and photography class for the youth. It's over christmas break, and they haven't found any volunteers to watch over and help the class. You will be doing that." He finishes. Lachlan scoffs, which draws a small laugh from my lungs. Mr. Fitzgeralds head swings to me. "You both will be teaching the class together." My smile and any playfulness I felt before is ripped away from me in an instant. I can't go to berkeley. "Sir, is there any chance there's somewhere else I could do it at? I can't go to that school, please." I'm borderline begging at this point. I can see Lachlan's expression change to confusion in my peripherals.
"Sorry, but no. I've already set it up with the headmaster there and they've already had multiple students join the class." I nod my head, accepting my defeat. Of course it's there, it couldn't have been at an actual youth school could it. Lachlan stands up quickly turning on his heels to make his way out. "One last thing Mr. Richards — if this goes off without a hitch... like the event was supposed to; I'll keep this off your records. That way you both have a chance of getting into those dream colleges."