Chapter Ten
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The orange sun has nearly fully spread its molten rays across the pale blue firmament and dark-warmed the hue of the puffy overcast along the length of the Western horizon. With sweaty socks rolled up into a muddy pair of football boots in one hand and a sturdy backpack on the shoulder of the other, Shola decides to take a stroll from the Southern road bus stop to his house on the main street of Kpako. He opts for this walk home instead of a commercial tricycle as is the norm because right now he has got very little money on him. In all honesty, at the current rate, he could not afford the ride even if he wanted to. The tricycle transportation from this bus stop down to his neighbourhood has become quite a budget strain ever since the prices of food, petrol and transportation skyrocketed again in the third quarter of this year, and his father's salary even after four months is yet to be paid despite the work he continues to do in the civil service. In a broader sense and perhaps a more accurate one, the tricycle has always been a significant budget strain considering the amount of bills and other standard expenses like schooling, housing and health care costs. However, Shola has incurred it like many other people because of the great distance of the route from the bus stop to Kpako neighbourhood by foot, especially after a sunny and exhausting day like the one he just had. Regardless of the cost constraints, ever since he can remember, his father, Mr. Ehigie and his mother before she passed on would usually always say regarding their preference for tricycles over walking, "Dis life na only once. Dem no use suffer-head swear for me," in response to queries from a number of frugal individuals who would rather walk than pay the fare.
The actual distance between the bus stop and Kpako neighbourhood is not as long as the current available route through the Southern road. It would have been shorter if the two short street links near the bus stop were fully accessible. Particularly the largest one, which has now become an unevenly eroded part sandy part stony path that shabbily connects the tarred Southern road directly to Kpako. Ever since a government reconstruction project began on it five years ago and never finished, several heaps of moulded and atmospherically pummelled sand, scattered granite, clustered pyramids of concrete road demarcation slabs encircled by threadbare red and white tape have made it virtually impossible for either vehicles or pedestrians to pass through. The heavily bloomed thickets of nearly five feet tall guinea grass along the path are also not helping, as particularly defiant pedestrians who may be willing to attempt the cross are unable to do so safely. This in part is also due to the fact that these streets have come to be a rather convenient spot for casual crime, potential muggers, illegal substance dealers, delinquents, prowling street gang members and a prime venue for the perpetration of other forms of rumoured iniquity, especially around evening and night time. The visible streams of substance laden smoke rising from above the bushes and the emanating whiffs of tobacco, cannabis and other unknown substances currently being perceived by Shola as he walks past the first street junction is likely one of the things that reorients many passers by to the likelihood of encountering potentially unfriendly presences that hover around the terrain and pervade some of the unfinished buildings along this nearly deserted street of Kpako community. Most curious explorers usually know better than to venture in, or tread these paths without significant company or the imperatively required 'street license'.
"Shola!!!!" a female voice screams from a moving tricycle along the other side of the tarred road as it zooms by. Stretching out her hand and waving vigorously, she hails, whilst Shola on the other hand looks up and ahead with a squint to see who it is, in order to potentially acknowledge them. By this time however, the vehicle is already far off. He concludes that it may be one of his friends, acquaintances or well-wishers from across the neighbourhood. Trudging further along the concrete sidewalk, he then begins to remember some figments of information from the deeply impactful class he attended today at Wellson State University.
He thinks to himself,
'Could I really create changes in my life, all on my own?.. Changes in the welfare of my family? Changes in my environment?.. Without resources?.. Without a system that works? Without a society that is passionate about supporting its citizens or supporting people in the most challenged groups? Would my drop in the ocean make a difference.. to a society or a situation marred by decades of neglect and socioeconomic degradation, facilitated by leaders and hegemonic elements far more powerful than I am? Through 'strategic' efforts, passion, diligence and resilience through patience and consistency, Mr. Ade said.. that everything is possible. But what is the diligence of one man worth compared to that of those who have been working their whole lives without success? What could the passion of one man be worth to the shattered hopes of millions? What could the ideas or innovations of one man be worth to people who have little faith in the machinations of untested change and little time or luxury to repeatedly fail fast and try again?'
Bending along with the curve of the sidewalk, Shola feels a message notification come in via a swift vibration from his phone. And as he reaches into the side of his bag pack to check it out, he remembers almost like a stargaze recollection how much he felt inspired by the achievements of some individuals he read about in the self help e-books he downloaded a few months ago, as well as those of notable individuals across history who have done remarkable things. Mr. Ade also mentioned some of them at the event today. If they could do it, why not him? He wonders. As long as he has the relentless passion, is able to put in the work to develop himself, leverage on his strengths, sharpen the bluntness of his weaknesses, learn about the strategies used by others to accomplish remarkable things and connect with people in ways that are worthwhile to bring about positive change, he begins to feel like he should be able to do something, at least to develop his own life for the better, then the life of his loved ones, then the life of his community and maybe at a grander level, society at large through innovative, empathetic and impactful positive contributions.
'It's all about contributing. No one can do it all.' he thinks to himself. 'Even if I am not able to develop the world, it would be simply heartbreaking if I am not able to develop myself. So, I will start there. Build myself up and endeavour to carry along all who I can, especially those with a similar drive. And if destiny beckons me to go further, I will. But henceforth, I cannot keep doing things the same way I've been doing them in the past, if they are not serving me. I cannot keep doing the same things the people around me are doing, if I do not aspire to be like them. I need to start learning more, the ways and strategies of the people I aspire to be like. I need to start trying out new approaches to materializing progress and success in my life. I need to gather more insight. I need to learn more skills. I need to have more meaningful conversations. I need to do more research about the future I'm interested in. I think everyday. I act everyday. I expend time and energy every day. Sometimes with thought; sometimes without thought. Sometimes with prudence; sometimes without prudence. Sometimes with helpful results, sometimes without helpful results, and sometimes, with results full of biting regret. From today, I will make it a goal to do more things and expend my energy in more ways that will bring me helpful results. I will take helpful action towards my wellbeing and collaborate with those who can help me on this journey.'
After ending his inner monologue, he looks down at the phone screen and sees the flood of texts and other notifications. Scrolling quickly downards and looking through their headlines, he notices one striking thing for the first time. That he initiates and sustains both social and emotional investment in a great deal of shallow, mindless and sometimes meaningless conversations. A handful of them have been truly worthwhile, but a greater number of them which he has kept going for so long have summarily added very little transformative value to his life or his personal aspirations. If anything, many have contributed to his problems, a remarkable bulk of periodic sad episodes, anger, daily distractions, anxiety, emotional and even romantic stress. A lot definitely give him a great deal of energy and motivation, but for the most part, nothing really long-term. The social charge he gets from endless chatting and having transient fun usually only lasts about a day, afterwhich he comes back again for another fix, burning rapidly through scores of mobile data, which is quite expensive. There are numerous times where he has had to borrow money to purchase airtime and mobile data from his friend, Osas, inorder to respond to some messages on active chats, not for business or personal development, but for socially engaging with and validating others, as well as himself. On further thought, he comes to realize that aside from his avid extroversion and emotional flare for nurturing relationships regardless of their quality or necessity, his nearly anxious people pleasing nature tends to make it more likely that he gives more validation than he ultimately receives.
"Damn.." he mumbles while scrolling through his over 65,000 messages and 87 group chats, half of which are yet to be read. "..These things are a waste of time.. WTF" he moans, after finding that only about a quarter of them appear to be conversations he genuinely wishes to continue or be a part of. Switching the phone to sleep mode and then putting it back into the bag pocket, Shola smiles and continues his stoic walk along the final curve of the Southern road, which is now peacefully because less vehicles are passing by. And the evening wind begins to wheeze, as though bidding the sunset farewell, with each waft cooling the pores of his skin and giving the cells between them bursts of energy and new life. Retreating once again into thought, Shola continues to analyze himself in a number of ways; his interactions, his observed strengths over the years and a number of informed and observed weaknesses, his joys, his sadness and the things that spur these moments, and then his dreams, hopes and interests, from the most conventional to the quirky ones he rarely speaks of. At the thought of some of them, he bursts into unconscious bouts of low toned laugher and in a few moments is joltingly interrupted by a neighbourhood acquaintance who hails him from the open car wash near the main junction of Kpako, "O.J.O.!!!"
"Ahh! My leader! I greet you!" Shola responds, with a similar energy.
Then the man continues as he adjusts the passenger door of the car he is washing, "See the way you just dey laugh. Ee be like sey your belle dey sweet you well well. I for like be like you o! "
Shola smiles and responds humbly, "Na something just enter my head. Well done, my oga! My regards to the family."
Afterwards, he exits into the main street and chuckles once again to himself. Almost for the first time, he has come to realize how much fun could actually be had from episodes of personal wholesome introspection, and how being able to laugh with and at oneself in one's most quirky inner sanctum can bring an equally similar joy as perhaps being able to do so with someone else or in particular, with the right person. Shola also comes to the realization that in many ways, every weakness has its perks and every strength also has its pitfalls, which is why the best goal is to optimize one's strengths with virtues like patience, humility, care, prudence and courage in spite of what others may think or say, such that their growth and net impact may remain healthy both to oneself and to society. On a similar front, the other prime goal is to optimize one's weaknesses through awareness, effort, optimism, care, resilience and other key virtues such that their net impact materializes into a healthier wellbeing, a positive growth curve and a fruitful existential journey. As he walks down towards the middle of the street and receives a host of greetings, warm wishes and welcomes from the members of Kpako neighbourhood, Shola also comes to realize from another perspective how much the sheer number of relationships he has and sustains through social and emotional investment is quite immense, and how despite the level of messiness, privacy invasion, periodic exploitation, inconvenience or sheer exhaustion that can ensue, it is also not that truly unfortunate a weakness. He has benefited quite a lot as well from his friends and acquaintances in many ways. No matter what cooks or doesn't cook in his household, he realized on certain occasions that he would always have a home where he could eat dinner and probably also breakfast or lunch if he needed to. A number of his friends across Benin City have previously offered him accomodation in their house, but he has declined for numerous valid reasons. Hence, looking ahead, he finds that draining or distracting as it may be, one good thing about being an extrovert is that you almost never run out of options. It is much easier to leverage on relationships when you have an abundance of them. And Shola's impeccable networking skills could definitely be put to wiser and more intentional use. He slowly comes to realize this on a conscious level and intends to put it on the journey ahead to more positive and wholesome use.
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Glossary:
"Dis life na only once. Dem no use suffer-head swear for me," - "We live only once. I was not cursed to suffer."
"Ahh! My leader! I greet you!" - "Hey, big boss! I greet you!"
"See the way you just dey laugh. Ee be like sey your belle dey sweet you well well. I for like be like you o! " - "Look at the way you're laughing. It seems you're really happy and excited. I wish I could have your kind of energy!"
"Na something just enter my head. Well done, my oga! " - "I was just thinking about something. Have a great day, big boss!"
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