Zeus: I have the perfect dare. Poseidon, truth or dare?
Poseidon: *swallows* Dare.
Zeus: *whispers to Poseidon in such a loud voice Aphrodite heard it and believe me, Aphrodite listened to too much music and is a little deaf*
Aphrodite: *squeals* Pertemis!
Artemis: *recoils in shock and horror* What? Why, Father?
Poseidon: Sorry, he's such a shipper. Now, personally, Artemis, I ship you with me, not, uh, y'know, my son, but Zeus said. I wish I was with you.
Artemis: *jaw drops from horror and realisation* No...
Poseidon: *traps Percy and Artemis in a closet, with toxic air(Percy has access to water immediately after this, don't worry fangirls and Annabeth) around them*
Aphrodite: One kiss! One make out!
Percy: *does exactly what Aphrodite says in order to get out*
Artemis: *slaps Percy* *thinks* Oh my gods... Am I in love?
All the Pertemis shippers: PERTEMIS!!!!!
Artemis: No. I am a virgin. No. Well, except when Hera cursed me. Except that.
Athena: I'm surprised you didn't kill him when he kissed you.
Artemis: Uhhhhhhhh... Poseidon, T or D?
Athena: It's truth or dare, not T or D.
Artemis: Whatever.
Hera: May I ask... Why is this a never-ending loop?
Poseidon: *ignores Hera* Dare.
Artemis: Sing Riptide by Vance Joy.
Zeus: NOOOOOOOOOO
Poseidon: YES!
Apollo: Can I join?
Artemis & Zeus: NO.
Apollo: *pouts*
Poseidon: Lady, running down to the riptide, taken away to the dark side, I wanna be your left hand man. I love you-
Artemis: Sing Wild Child by Elen Levon!!
Agnes: Oh no...
Poseidon: Might get a little messy, I'm gonna be your one only one wild child, you need to give in into the riptide -
Aphrodite: Sing My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion!!!
Poseidon: Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you, that is how I know you go on. Near, far, wherever you are -
Athena: *whispers to Artemis* Doesn't he know he's being used?
Artemis: I know his IQ, so I don't think so. His IQ's like, 1 or something.
Athena: Not a person I would want for a boyfriend.
Artemis: I don't need a boyfriend. Also, if that person's a god, shouldn't it be a 'godfriend'?
Athena: Yes.
Kallisto: So Zeus would be my godfriend!
Artemis: Shut up.
Apollo: AND DANCE WITH ME!
Artemis: Never, gassy.
Apollo: I'm not the gassy one!
Poseidon: Anyways. Truth or dare Brother?
Zeus: Darren.
Poseidon: What.
Zeus: Dare and.
Hera: I'm sure that's not what you said.
Poseidon: Whateves.
Athena: Whatever.
Poseidon: Make out with the hottest person in this room that's not your child.
Zeus: Dang it!
Zeus: *makes out with Aphrodite*
All the gods: Unmanly Zeus!
Zeus: What?
Thor: That's really unmanly! Show some pride and save the reputation of us gods!
All the goddesses: My gods, Thor is so hot.(except for the virgin and married ones. WHICH COUNTS ARTEMIS, SexyApollo)
Apollo: I have Unmanly, I have Zeus. Uh, Unmanly Zeus!
(don't take offense XD)
Zeus: ENOUGH. Poseidon truth or dare?
Athena: We are being ignored.
Hephaestus: I agree. Does Zeus hate us or something?
Apollo: Well he definitely hates me!
Artemis: (sarcastically) I can't imagine why.
Apollo: I know! I am the best god ever, the hottest, the most popular!
Artemis: *gags*
Apollo: Shut up sister.
Artemis: Never.
Poseidon: You guys shut up. Dare.
All the female Olympians: I'M NOT A GUY POSEIDEY!!!!!
Poseidon: Whoa there. Don't call me Poseidey.
Zeus: You're worried about that when the half of us hate you?
Poseidon: Got a problem, Zeus?
Zeus: No. *whispers dare in Poseidon's ear*
Poseidon: *flashes to CHB lake*
CHB
Percy: Dad? Whatcha doin'?
Poseidon: YO MA BOY WHAT YA DOIN' HAPPAY BIRTHDAY MA BIG BOY YA BIG NOW. ALSO YA HAVE A NEW QUEST AND WILL ALMOST DIE BUT MA BOY IS STRONG AND NEVAR DIE!!!
Percy: ... Dad?
Poseidon: Um... *splashes wave on to Percy, who got soaked in surprise*
(Percy must concentrate to be dry, remember?)
Percy: WHAT DID YOU DO DAD??!! Y U SIDE WITH ZE TITAN!
Poseidon: Oceanus did that! I'm just a kid who's four, each day I GROW SOME MORE!!!!!!
Oceanus: Not me. Was that you, Jackson? Did you fart and get surprised?
Percy: Errrrrrr... Did I fart?
Mount Olympus
Zeus: Poseidon, well done. Caillou for life!
Hera: What? Dora the Explorer for life!
Zeus: Caillou for life, dude.
Hera: Do not call be dude, or I will strangle you.
Agnes: I have a lot practice strangling Hermes for pranking me. Do you need my assistance, my Lady Hera?
Hera: If he doesn't cooperate, then yes.
Zeus: Fine! I cooperate.
Poseidon: Can I do a double truth-dare, Zeus?
Zeus: Yeah sure.
Poseidon: Artemis, Hades, truth or dare?
Artemis: Truth.
Hades: Dare.
Artemis: Rock paper scissors.
Hades: Fine. *uses gun and wins*
Artemis: Fine. Dare.
Poseidon: Good one Hades.
Hades: *sputters* What?
*Give You Hell by All American Rejects plays*
Poseidon: *whispers to Artemis and Hades*
Artemis & Hades: WHAT THE PERCY JACKSON
Poseidon: Do not curse in my son's name.
Hades: Shut up, Aquaman.
Poseidon: Oh, we're calling names, huh, Girl Stealer?
Hades: *blushes*
Demeter: IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT. Persephone could've lived a happy immortal life, but no. YOU JUST HAD TO RUIN IT.
Anyways...
CHB(again?)
PERCY'S POV
Unusual day. Dad said someone wants to kill me, but that's a normal day, but how did Oceanus know I farted?
I shrugged to myself. Oh well, I thought. At least the rest of my day would be normal.
Boy, was I wrong. As soon as I thought that thought, Artemis and Hades appeared.
I mean - the two least favorite gods in my opinion. Well, not Artemis, I guess. She's pretty great once you get to know her. Unless you make out with her.
'Argh!' Hades yelled. 'This body is terrible! I want to kill this body!'
'What?' I asked, dubious.
'I'M A FEMALE IN A MALE'S BODY!' Hades shouted.
Only one goddess would say that. 'Artemis,' I said.
Then Artemis's body appeared. 'WHY IN MY SON'S NAME AM I IN ARTEMIS'S BODY!'
'Um...' my brilliant response was.
Thalia came running from the woods. 'My lady! Where are you?' she cried desperately.(I mean, like, yell.)
'I am here,' Hades, a.k.a. Artemis said.
'Why are you in a male body, may I ask, my lady?' Thalia wanted to know.
Artemis looked at Hades.
'Some trouble with Hecate,' I guessed. They nodded quickly.
'Can I get your autograph, Hades?' Thalia smirked.
Hades, also known as Artemis signed it. Artemis looked kind of offended.
'Let's just go,' I said, tugging Thalia's arm.
She led me away to Camp Half-Blood where Annabeth was waiting for me.
'Oh my gods, Seaweed Brain. Today is the weirdest day ever.' she hugged me tightly, searching for comfort and reassurance.
'What happened?' I questioned, dreading the answer.
'Artemis came and yelled "Girly Girls Rule"!' Annabeth replied.
Behind us, someone cleared their throat.
We turned around to see Agnes, daughter of Artemis, holding a camera and grinning.
'Wait 'till I show this to Connor and Travis,' she said, running to the Hermes cabin.
Annabeth ran and chased Agnes for about twenty minutes. Agnes ran like a deer and I mean literally. She was changing shape as she ran, from a deer to a gazelle, from a gazelle into a cheetah and... Well, you get it.
She sprinted to the Hermes cabin and the next second, Connor was smirking at us and waving a photo of what just happened. Agnes hurriedly pulled him inside.
Hmm. I wonder what's happening with those two.
Julia Feingold and Alice Miyazawa were telling Nico about how Annabeth and I slipped into his room in the Underworld. Nico keeps glaring at us - oh, no, he's chasing us. Gotta go?

Rachel: What kind of name is Percy Gotta-go?