CHRIS

The day could not go by quickly enough, but I must admit that I'm nervous as hell for my date with Nadine. I've had plenty of women, but I've never taken anyone out on a date. Back in the city, whenever I would go out, I had no problems finding a girl to spend the night with, and it never made it past sex.

After work, I went to the employee lodge to shower and change. Taking the grime out of my nails took a long time, so I hope the effort is worth it. I'm waiting for Nadine to finish getting ready. I could use a cigarette, but I've given up smoking, so I'm chewing gum to calm myself. Amy already went home, which I find it too bad, because I could use one of her pep talks right now. Also, because I wanted to hear what she thinks of the Marshall parents' visit.

The mother came to the farm and made me feel so uncomfortable. Kitchi looked bothered. She even commanded me to carry on with mucking the stables alone, saying Kit has a delicate health and shouldn't do it. He took her out on a private trail ride against his will and when he returned, he apologized for ditching me. I told him not to worry, I'm not a great fan of parents in general.

"Chris..."

I turn around to find Nadine looking so charming in a girly white dress. "You look beautiful," I say, and she gives me a small smile.

"You look good- We are always wearing uniforms- I'm rambling," she lets out a nervous laugh. "We should go."

Nadine takes the keys out of her purse and I follow her to her car. The rusty thing can't really be called a car, it's more like a mix and match of parts, but at least she has one; unlike me.

"How come you don't drive?" She says while backing from her parking space.

"Got arrested too many times driving under the influence," I feel ashamed, but I don't want to hide the truth from her.

"Do you still drink?" Her hands get tighter on the steering wheel.

"I haven't since I started working at the ranch. I don't need it anymore," I say, and Nadine relaxes... but why?

"Where are we heading?"

"I thought we could go to Dolce. Huritt said the food is good."

"That is a fancy restaurant. I'm not made for a place like that," she hesitates while making a turn towards the road heading to the city.

"Nonsense. The restaurant owner should feel honored a woman like you is present."

After the words leave my mouth, I feel embarrassed for saying something so cheesy.

"Thanks, Chris," she glances at me quickly and smiles.

I change the topic to what we did during the day. Soon enough, the Marshall parents' visit comes up.

"Mrs. Marshall walked into the kitchen when I was showing Rowtag the cooler that isn't working properly. She got impatient, barked at him that Kitchi shouldn't be working so hard and left. Not before giving me a nasty once over. Rowtag watched her leave, let out a deep sigh and said he will take care of the fridge. For someone visiting her kids, she sure doesn't look happy."

"Only with Kitchi. I was expecting her to carry him in her arms and give him the boob," I say, making Nadine laugh hard.

"Have you seen how thin she is? If she has any boobs, they are store-bought," she says and now it's my turn to laugh.

"Amy would be mad at me for talking about other people, but this is surely an exception."

We make it to the restaurant Huritt suggested, and as we enter, I understand what she means about not being made for it. I'm wearing a new black shirt and trousers, and still feel underdressed. The men wear suits and the ladies look straight out of a perfume ad.

I feel foolish when I get asked about our reservation as it didn't occur to me to make one. Luckily, the host doesn't make a fuss about it and brings us to a table. The place is simple but elegant, with a dark wooden floor and tables covered with cream fabric. The kitchen is open, and you can see a giant brick oven. If you ignore the fancy dressed people, it's cozy.

We order our drinks and after a while, we make our minds and decide for two artisanal pizzas to share, whatever is that artisanal means.

"Where did you learn to cook?" I try to make conversation while we wait for our food.

"At the ranch, if making sandwiches counts as cooking," she gives me a sad smile. "I would love to become a chef one day and working in the kitchen is the closest I will ever get to it."

"Did you go to college?" I ask and she shakes her head in negative. "Me neither. I never graduated high school."

Nadine stares at the tablecloth while deep in thought. She probably wants a man with a future and I'm not one.

"Did you work from a young age?" She asks in a low voice so the surrounding people can't eavesdrop.

"No. Instead, I did things I'm not proud of. I'm afraid I will scare you if I go into details, and I don't want to ruin our date. Amy, my sister, got me the job at the ranch, and I'm grateful to the Marshalls for not minding my past."

Nadine looks outside the window and frowns.

"What is it?"

"I have the idea that someone was staring at us from the sidewalk, but the person just lit a cigarette and kept walking. Never mind. The Marshall brothers are the kindest people I know so I share how grateful you feel."

"And what about you? How did you find out about the ranch?"

"Rowtag," she looks uncomfortable.

"How do you know him? I understood from Kitchi that they've only been living here for the past two years."

"Promise me you won't tell a soul if I tell you how," she whispers.

"I promise," I say, holding her hand over the table.

"I met Rowtag in the waiting room of a shrink. I was trying to get the pieces left of my dignity together back then. He told me about the ranch being under construction and that they were hiring. He didn't mind that I didn't have any studies or training, and said he would help me, but I had my doubts. Trusting people was difficult for me after everything I went through."

"Why does he go to a shrink?"

"I don't know the exact details, but it's related to the accident they had as kids."

"What about you?"

Nadine plays absent-mindedly with the edge of her napkin while gazing around.

"I rather hear the truth from you than the rumors," I place my hand again over hers and caress it with my thumb.

"What if my truth changes the way you think about me?" She watches our hands and the look in her face is filled with so much pain.

"I'm in no position to judge anybody."

"Only if you tell me about your truth."

It's only fair, but then I remember the advice of the Marshalls: don't share the details of my past and start anew. I've complied with that, but I like Nadine a lot, and if this will ever become something, then she needs to know.

I tell her every detail of the past eleven years, aware that she might end up rejecting me.

"Was it hard... Being in jail?"

"It was scary and depressing, but as the first weeks went by, I felt an odd relief. Being imprisoned removed me from the life I wanted to get away from. I became a model inmate and stayed out of trouble by working in the gardens. I accepted all the help I got offered because I couldn't get over the fact that my new friend died and it was my fault," I say, guilt and sadness filling my heart at the memory. "So, that is my story. You can share yours unless I freaked you out and you want to leave me here."

Nadine gives me a small smile.

"I guess I owe it to you. When I was 15, I ran away from home. My father had a heavy hand every time he drank and seeing that my mother didn't move a finger to help me, I had no other choice. I knew nobody and had no money, so I begged on the streets to eat and slept everywhere I thought safe. Then I met a guy who became a friend, and he offered me a place to stay, food and protection. Until one night when this so-called protector raped me, and when I didn't go to the police to press charges, he invited his friends to share me. One day he found me trying to escape his apartment and gave me a beating worse than my Dad did. Soon enough I ended up in a prostitution ring he managed in a cramped and filthy house with other girls, who like me had nowhere to go and were held there under a death threat."

"So, those are the rumors?" I ask and she nods.

"I don't know how it made it to the ranch. It was over the news, but my face was never shown."

"News?"

"The police got a tip and the house where I was got raided. We all got arrested and after questioning us, they figured out we were used as sex workers against our will. The bastard who tricked me was lucky enough to escape unpunished."

"I'm really sorry, Nadine. I was probably no better than that man, but I'm trying to live an honest life now. I will never hurt you or make you do anything against your will."

"I know you won't. You are a good man. I've seen how hard you work and how you take care of Kitchi and Sebastian. I've heard the other Marshalls referring to you as their friend."

I feel myself blushing. Amy tells me stuff like that, but she is my sister and I never believe her. Hearing it from Nadine makes me feel pride.

"I like you," I say to her, feeling like the shy boy I was in my teens.

"I like you too."

"Do you want to... Like... Go out on another date?" I ask, unsure if that's how's done.

"Yes, I would love to."

"Thanks for giving me a chance," I say as the waitress arrives to our table with two weird-looking pizzas.

After our meal, Nadine brings me home, and I kiss her cheek before exiting the car. She deserves respect after everything she has been through and I will show it to her.