My interpretation of one of the best Gravity Falls AUs out there.

"-and with that extra finger of yours, you'd fit right in with the rest of my freaks!" Bill cackled, "So what do you say Sixer?"

"I- I-" Ford was floating off the ground, "I don't know."

"Great Uncle Ford!" Dipper called, "Great Uncle Ford don't listen to him! It's Bill! Hr's evil! Great Uncle Ford!"

Bill faced the child and glowed a ferocious red, "Someone shut him up, but don't hurt him! We might need him to make sure Stanford cooperates. Isn't that right Fordsie? You won't let me hurt your precious Pine Tree?"

Ford growled, "Put him down! He has nothing to do with this!"

Bill returned his gaze to Ford, "Oh but he does! He found your journal, which you brother Fez took, opening the portal, and creating the rift! I should really be thanking him!"

Ford heard a scream behind him and twisted his head quickly, causing great pain, "Dipper?! Are you okay?"

No response.

"Dipper?! Dipper!" Ford called, "Please be okay!"

Bill shrunk down to a smaller size and rested on Ford's shoulder, "Pine tree, Pine tree, Pine tree, yeesh talk about something else for once, but don't worry Stanford! He's fine!"

The yellow demon snapped and Dipper appeared in front of them, he seemed perfectly fine. Oh other than the fact he was solid gold.

"BILL! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!" Ford screamed, "CHANGE HIM BACK!"

Bill poked the old man on the cheek, "Join me! Join me and I'll do whatever you ask, provided that I'm unaffected by your requests of course."

Ford looked between Bill and what once was Dipper Pines. The gold statue version of Dipper displayed a look of absolute terror, and it was strange not hearing a scream. Ford couldn't stand the idea of being the reason his great nephew was going to be a statue forever.

"Fine," He grit his teeth, "I'll do what you want, but change him back!"

"Oh well," Bill shrugged, "If you say so!"

He extended his hand to Ford and almost immediately, blue flames sprung up from it. Ford gripped Bill's hand and shook it, something he hadn't done for over 30 years...

The weirdness began almost instantly. Ford dropped to the ground and felt his entire body begin to ache. He curled into a ball and let out a small scream every time something happened. Which was a lot. His teeth became sharp fangs, his clothes began to burn, but were instantly replaced by a newer, cleaner outfit, a black coat, yellow turtleneck, and black pants, as if someone just painted Bill all over him.

The worst part was the weird, shocking, feeling in his body, it felt like lightning was injected into his blood.

When it was all over, Ford found Bill floating in front of him. Holding Dipper. Golden Dipper.

"Bill!" Ford tried to stand up, it wasn't easy but he managed to face the triangle, "Turn him back now."

"Oh Sixer, you've known me long enough to know I'm not going to do that," Bill let out a soft chuckle, "You probably knew I would never do that. You were either really desperate right now, or you wanted to join me."

"AAUUGGHH!" Ford leaped towards the demon, determined to murder him and found that he could jump a lot further now and practically flew into a tree, "W-what? CIPHER WHAT DID YOU DO!"

"Eh, improved your useless sack of meat," Bill waved his hand dismissively, "Nothingbtoo much."

"Bill my hand is literally on fire and I'm not burning," Ford blew out the flames and faced the demon, "Bill, please, take me to your Fearamid, electrocute me, make me, what- I don't know, party with you or whatever, but please, just leave my family alone."

"Wow Fordsie, that was cute," Bill then shrugged, "I think I'll do all those things except for leave your family alone, because you know what Stanford Pines? You ruined my life, so I'll ruin yours."

2 years later

Bill sat on his throne and juggled his three favorite things in the world, a golden statue of Dipper Pines, the time bubble containing Mabel, and a funny transparent hamster ball with Stanley.

Bill smiled at the view, the statue that was once the Statue of Liberty, now a Statue of Weirdness. New York.

Exactly 1 year ago Stanford had given him the equation needed to get Weirdmaggedon out of Gravity Falls and into the rest of the world. In exchange, Bill had let Ford pick his own life, provided he did everything Bill said.

It was nice, being in control of the world. It was nice.